1
00:00:36,928 --> 00:00:40,098
- Hey, how'd you sleep, Peter?
- Brian, last night I had this crazy dream.

2
00:00:40,181 --> 00:00:42,434
I was eating a sheep
and now my pillow's gone.

3
00:00:42,559 --> 00:00:45,311
Oh, wait. Here it is.
What the hell was I eating?

4
00:00:49,482 --> 00:00:51,109
Oh, sorry.

5
00:01:07,083 --> 00:01:08,126
See you, Lois.

6
00:01:08,209 --> 00:01:11,463
And like I tell you every day, if I come
back in the middle of the afternoon

7
00:01:11,546 --> 00:01:14,382
and you're having sex with somebody,
I'll kill you both.

8
00:01:14,966 --> 00:01:19,012
"Thanks to effective treatments,
Magic Johnson down to one AID."

9
00:01:20,263 --> 00:01:23,975
Oh, God, did I hit that deaf kid again?
They ought to put a bell on that guy.

10
00:01:26,686 --> 00:01:30,023
The nurse says Brian won't be out
of surgery for another three hours.

11
00:01:30,106 --> 00:01:32,650
- Oh, I hope he's gonna be okay.
- Me, too.

12
00:01:32,734 --> 00:01:35,612
I know we're not here to place blame
or beat ourselves up, but,

13
00:01:35,737 --> 00:01:38,782
I can't help feeling like
this is somehow Meg's fault.

14
00:01:38,907 --> 00:01:41,534
Oh, I just can't stand the thought
of losing Brian.

15
00:01:41,618 --> 00:01:44,954
If he dies, I'm gonna have
to start hanging out with The Rock again.

16
00:01:45,079 --> 00:01:49,918
<i>One's a baby,
and the other's black, I think.</i>

17
00:01:50,251 --> 00:01:53,588
<i>At least part black. Or Hispanic.</i>

18
00:01:54,255 --> 00:01:56,925
<i>I think, you know, possibly,
there's some Filipino in there.</i>

19
00:01:57,050 --> 00:01:58,968
<i>Yeah, possibly some Filipino.</i>

20
00:01:59,385 --> 00:02:02,764
<i>I mean, if he, if he's black,
it's definitely diluted.</i>

21
00:02:03,473 --> 00:02:05,934
<i>I mean, one of his parents must be white.</i>

22
00:02:06,309 --> 00:02:09,521
<i>What the hell is Jessica Alba,
for that matter?</i>

23
00:02:10,271 --> 00:02:13,900
<i>If I were 40 years younger,
I would plow that till next July.</i>

24
00:02:16,486 --> 00:02:19,447
All right, class, today as a special treat,
I'm going to show you this

25
00:02:19,531 --> 00:02:22,283
<i>fascinating episode of NOVA
that I taped at home for you.</i>

26
00:02:24,327 --> 00:02:25,870
You coming back to bed, Rob?

27
00:02:25,954 --> 00:02:28,373
Hang on, honey. Hang on.
My jaw keeps locking up.

28
00:02:28,456 --> 00:02:30,583
<i>Well, that's not NOVA at all, is it?</i>

29
00:02:31,626 --> 00:02:33,920
That's a sex tape I made with my wife.

30
00:02:34,003 --> 00:02:36,923
Of course, nobody here is interested
in seeing that sort of thing.

31
00:02:37,006 --> 00:02:38,758
Are they? Probably not. No.

32
00:02:38,842 --> 00:02:41,594
Okay. You kind of looked like
you were nodding? Nope?

33
00:02:41,719 --> 00:02:43,263
Okay. Okay, we should get back to work.

34
00:02:43,388 --> 00:02:45,932
All right, next up,
does everyone have a lab partner?

35
00:02:46,015 --> 00:02:47,308
- I don't.
- Me, neither.

36
00:02:47,434 --> 00:02:48,393
She can be my partner.

37
00:02:48,476 --> 00:02:51,521
Sarah, that's very irresponsible.
Meg is awful.

38
00:02:51,938 --> 00:02:53,690
- You want to be my lab partner?
- Really?

39
00:02:53,815 --> 00:02:54,941
Sure, you seem nice.

40
00:02:55,024 --> 00:02:56,985
Hey, do you want
to join my after-school club?

41
00:02:57,110 --> 00:02:58,111
Sure.

42
00:02:58,194 --> 00:03:00,447
Now, open your books to page...
You know what? Look, I'm sorry.

43
00:03:00,530 --> 00:03:02,699
Can I just go ahead and show this video
of me doing my wife?

44
00:03:05,034 --> 00:03:07,203
Here we are, Brian, safe and sound.

45
00:03:07,328 --> 00:03:10,623
- Peter, I don't need to be in a wheelchair.
- Now, now, no arguments, Brian.

46
00:03:10,707 --> 00:03:13,501
I already went through the trouble
of borrowing this ramp from Joe.

47
00:03:13,626 --> 00:03:16,045
I'll see you, honey. I'll be back in a...

48
00:03:16,379 --> 00:03:17,881
Joe, are you all right?

49
00:03:18,006 --> 00:03:21,009
Don't help me up.
I need to retain my independence.

50
00:03:22,051 --> 00:03:24,679
- You need anything from the market?
- PowerBar!

51
00:03:27,640 --> 00:03:28,850
What's wrong, Brian?

52
00:03:28,933 --> 00:03:32,395
You've just been sitting on the couch
ever since you got back from the hospital.

53
00:03:32,520 --> 00:03:34,189
You need to get out of the house.

54
00:03:34,314 --> 00:03:36,232
I don't know, Lois. I'm a little depressed.

55
00:03:36,316 --> 00:03:38,943
The accident got me thinking
about how uncertain life is

56
00:03:39,068 --> 00:03:40,862
and how suddenly it can be taken away.

57
00:03:40,945 --> 00:03:43,031
You're going to feel back to normal
in no time.

58
00:03:43,156 --> 00:03:45,408
- Here, have some food.
- I'm not hungry.

59
00:03:45,533 --> 00:03:47,243
Here comes the gravy.

60
00:03:51,039 --> 00:03:52,874
You messy beast.

61
00:03:56,044 --> 00:03:57,712
Well, hello there, Meg.

62
00:03:58,296 --> 00:04:00,548
Neil, I really can't be seen talking
to you anymore.

63
00:04:00,673 --> 00:04:03,301
I have friends now,
and some of them, very popular.

64
00:04:03,426 --> 00:04:06,179
I know. I heard Sarah is your lab partner.

65
00:04:06,262 --> 00:04:09,349
All those years of you rejecting me
finally made sense.

66
00:04:09,432 --> 00:04:10,725
What do you mean?

67
00:04:14,395 --> 00:04:16,648
Oh, my God!

68
00:04:22,862 --> 00:04:24,572
Meg! There you are.

69
00:04:24,656 --> 00:04:27,117
Hey, everybody,
this is our newest member, Meg.

70
00:04:27,242 --> 00:04:28,409
- Hi, Meg.
- What's up?

71
00:04:28,493 --> 00:04:30,578
Hi, you gays, guys. Girls.

72
00:04:31,287 --> 00:04:35,166
Look, listen, Sarah, I can't be in your club.
I'm not a lesbian.

73
00:04:35,291 --> 00:04:38,294
You can't be serious.
We had a whole party planned for you.

74
00:04:38,419 --> 00:04:40,588
Really? A party, for me?

75
00:04:40,713 --> 00:04:43,675
- But I guess if you're not a lesbian...
- Wait, wait.

76
00:04:43,800 --> 00:04:46,094
You didn't let me finish. I'm not a lesbian.

77
00:04:46,219 --> 00:04:48,513
I'm a super, huge mega-lesbian.

78
00:04:48,638 --> 00:04:51,349
Good.
You'll fit in with the other mega-lesbians.

79
00:05:07,073 --> 00:05:09,367
Wow! I feel so socially accepted.

80
00:05:09,492 --> 00:05:12,537
Hey, do you have any other friends
you want to invite to your party?

81
00:05:12,662 --> 00:05:15,790
No. Most of my friends are out of town.

82
00:05:16,082 --> 00:05:19,961
Oh, this is gonna be great!
We'll stay up late, trade stories.

83
00:05:20,879 --> 00:05:23,673
Let's watch the video of my ballet recital.

84
00:05:25,049 --> 00:05:26,342
Here it is!

85
00:05:29,262 --> 00:05:31,514
Sunshine Bear. Wait!

86
00:05:42,567 --> 00:05:44,527
- Hey, how's it going?
- Good.

87
00:05:44,652 --> 00:05:46,362
Those are huge.

88
00:05:46,446 --> 00:05:49,741
Those are huge boobs.
And you know what's nice?

89
00:05:49,866 --> 00:05:54,037
That you don't have that blue vein
up there that some of the bigger ones get.

90
00:05:55,246 --> 00:05:58,124
What? I said you don't have that.

91
00:05:58,249 --> 00:06:02,796
- Hey, buddy, you're not looking so good.
- Who cares how I look? Nothing matters.

92
00:06:02,921 --> 00:06:05,215
We could all die tomorrow,
every one of us.

93
00:06:05,340 --> 00:06:08,176
Well, isn't that a damn good reason
to live it up today?

94
00:06:08,259 --> 00:06:12,597
- Come on, it can't possibly be that simple.
- Excuse me. I got a thing to do.

95
00:06:13,264 --> 00:06:16,101
<i>All right, ladies and gentlemen,
we have a very special guest tonight.</i>

96
00:06:16,226 --> 00:06:20,647
<i>Please welcome the Member of the Board,
Frank Sinatra Jr.</i>

97
00:06:58,309 --> 00:07:01,312
All this singing is contagious. I'll sing, too.

98
00:07:07,110 --> 00:07:08,820
A little bit softer now.

99
00:07:17,203 --> 00:07:19,664
I'll come out when they're all gone.

100
00:07:24,127 --> 00:07:27,338
Wow, Brian, you actually got
to sing with Frank Sinatra Jr?

101
00:07:27,464 --> 00:07:28,506
Oh, it was amazing.

102
00:07:28,590 --> 00:07:32,218
I got to tell you, he said some things
that were exactly what I needed to hear,

103
00:07:32,343 --> 00:07:34,721
and I was just inspired
to get up on that stage.

104
00:07:34,846 --> 00:07:37,056
Got to live life for today, you know?

105
00:07:37,182 --> 00:07:40,393
Brian, don't you think it's a little too early
to be hitting the booze?

106
00:07:40,518 --> 00:07:41,644
Hey, what's the point of waiting?

107
00:07:41,728 --> 00:07:43,688
You got to live life while you can
and live it hard.

108
00:07:43,772 --> 00:07:45,356
The Chris Farley method, that's good.

109
00:07:45,440 --> 00:07:47,066
Frank invited me back this evening.

110
00:07:47,192 --> 00:07:50,570
I tell you, I feel more exhilarated than
Peter did when he swam with the bulls.

111
00:08:15,637 --> 00:08:17,722
Yeah, that's fair.
No, that's totally a fair score.

112
00:08:22,936 --> 00:08:27,232
You know, Brian, when you wear that suit,
it looks like you're taking a white poop.

113
00:08:28,191 --> 00:08:29,275
But it's stuck.

114
00:08:29,400 --> 00:08:32,403
Look, Lois asked me to baby-sit you,
so just stay here and be quiet.

115
00:08:32,487 --> 00:08:34,489
I'll be back after my first set.

116
00:08:36,866 --> 00:08:39,327
What the hell am I supposed
to do to kill time?

117
00:08:39,786 --> 00:08:41,579
Oh, maybe I'll play 52 Pickup.

118
00:08:43,206 --> 00:08:45,500
This game's better
if there's someone else here.

119
00:08:45,625 --> 00:08:48,503
'Cause then they can say,
"I'm not going to pick up those cards. "

120
00:08:48,628 --> 00:08:51,798
And then I say,
"You have to, it's 52 Pickup. "

121
00:08:51,965 --> 00:08:54,759
And they say,
"Well, what if I just leave them there?"

122
00:08:54,843 --> 00:08:58,471
And I say, " Those are my father's cards.
You can't just leave them there.

123
00:08:58,555 --> 00:09:00,014
"He's going to be mad. "

124
00:09:00,265 --> 00:09:01,266
Where am I?

125
00:09:12,360 --> 00:09:13,611
Get out of here.

126
00:09:24,956 --> 00:09:28,293
Whoa. Easy, kid. These people paid
good money to get in here.

127
00:09:28,376 --> 00:09:30,879
Oh, yeah? How much
are you charging them to get out?

128
00:09:49,898 --> 00:09:51,065
That was sensational.

129
00:09:51,191 --> 00:09:53,860
We're going to be the biggest thing
since Edison harnessed electricity.

130
00:09:56,738 --> 00:09:59,491
Look at Edison over there
with his damn electricity.

131
00:09:59,574 --> 00:10:02,368
Hey, Edison, how about sharing some
of those light bulbs, huh?

132
00:10:02,494 --> 00:10:06,414
- Hey, figure it out for yourself, man.
- We're freezing our asses off over here.

133
00:10:06,539 --> 00:10:08,500
Hey, man, how do you think I feel,
you know?

134
00:10:08,583 --> 00:10:11,836
You get to look at my great house.
I get to look at that dark thing, huh?

135
00:10:11,920 --> 00:10:14,339
What, what is that, a candle over there?
That's pretty sweet.

136
00:10:14,422 --> 00:10:16,925
Yeah, it's a candle.
We're freezing over here.

137
00:10:17,008 --> 00:10:20,386
No one in my family's taken a bath
in a month. We stink.

138
00:10:20,470 --> 00:10:21,721
It stinks over here, you jerk.

139
00:10:21,805 --> 00:10:23,223
I can't hear you over my central heating.

140
00:10:23,306 --> 00:10:25,809
- Hey, why don't you go to hell, Edison.
- Hey, bite me, man.

141
00:10:25,934 --> 00:10:27,185
<i>Hey, you guys seen The Office?</i>

142
00:10:27,268 --> 00:10:29,395
Oh, no, I guess you haven't
'cause you don't have a TV.

143
00:10:29,521 --> 00:10:31,439
Hey, how about I come over there
and kick your ass?

144
00:10:31,564 --> 00:10:33,108
Yeah, come on over.

145
00:10:43,368 --> 00:10:46,913
- What is this, Lois?
- It's jambalaya. It's a new recipe.

146
00:10:49,916 --> 00:10:53,378
Peter. Eat your food, mister.

147
00:10:53,878 --> 00:10:56,339
All right, if you don't want it,
put it in your napkin.

148
00:10:56,464 --> 00:11:00,468
Peter, put it in your napkin!
Put it in your...

149
00:11:00,593 --> 00:11:02,804
I'm not gonna...

150
00:11:03,179 --> 00:11:06,099
You know, some people would
be very happy to have this food.

151
00:11:06,182 --> 00:11:07,600
Like John Goodman's family.

152
00:11:08,768 --> 00:11:09,936
Please, Daddy.

153
00:11:10,019 --> 00:11:13,356
I told you, when I'm finished,
you can have what's left.

154
00:11:13,481 --> 00:11:17,152
There won't be any left.
There's never any left.

155
00:11:21,531 --> 00:11:23,116
Happy Thanksgiving.

156
00:11:27,620 --> 00:11:29,414
Mom, why is the cable guy here?

157
00:11:29,539 --> 00:11:32,584
It's me, you guys,
and I have something to tell you all.

158
00:11:32,709 --> 00:11:36,129
Mom. Dad. I am a lesbian.

159
00:11:37,380 --> 00:11:40,341
- That is awesome.
- Peter.

160
00:11:40,425 --> 00:11:42,510
Meg, you are not a lesbian.

161
00:11:42,594 --> 00:11:44,345
You know, I don't care
what you guys think.

162
00:11:44,471 --> 00:11:48,183
All my new lesbian friends accept me,
and that's all that matters.

163
00:11:48,266 --> 00:11:50,935
Meg, you're my daughter.
I would accept you if you were gay

164
00:11:51,060 --> 00:11:53,229
or blind or retarded, but you're not.

165
00:11:53,354 --> 00:11:57,400
You guys don't care about me
and my struggle! I hate you!

166
00:11:57,525 --> 00:12:01,404
Meg, I think you're just trying to fit in
by pretending to be something you're not.

167
00:12:01,488 --> 00:12:04,574
Like the time Peter pretended
to be racist to get out of jury duty.

168
00:12:07,827 --> 00:12:10,038
Awful lot of honkies in here.

169
00:12:48,451 --> 00:12:51,663
Brian, there you are.
Do you have any idea what time it is?

170
00:12:51,788 --> 00:12:53,915
Stewie was supposed
to be in bed two hours ago.

171
00:12:53,998 --> 00:12:57,293
Oh, yeah, he... He's...

172
00:12:57,418 --> 00:13:00,130
He was right here,
right next to me like, four hours ago.

173
00:13:00,213 --> 00:13:03,216
What? Brian,
you were supposed to watch him!

174
00:13:03,341 --> 00:13:07,137
- Oh, my little sweetie!
- Hey, Brian, remember me?

175
00:13:07,262 --> 00:13:08,930
I'm the guy you left standing
at the counter

176
00:13:09,013 --> 00:13:11,516
at McDonald's with a bag full of burgers.

177
00:13:11,599 --> 00:13:14,185
You know, it's funny,
I tried to walk home and...

178
00:13:14,477 --> 00:13:18,148
A lot of hungry deer walking around
at this hour of the night and...

179
00:13:18,231 --> 00:13:22,318
Oh, here's where the story gets fun.
You may have noticed I'm missing an ear.

180
00:13:22,402 --> 00:13:26,865
Managed to pull it out of the deer's mouth
and put it in some ice I got at a 7-Eleven.

181
00:13:26,948 --> 00:13:29,951
So, when you're ready to apologize,
just talk into this cup.

182
00:13:30,034 --> 00:13:31,953
Brian, this is inexcusable.

183
00:13:32,036 --> 00:13:33,830
Yeah, what if something
had happened to Stewie?

184
00:13:33,913 --> 00:13:35,832
My ear's in a cup,
I guess that doesn't count.

185
00:13:35,915 --> 00:13:38,793
Hey, I'm not the kid's baby-sitter,
all right? I have my own life to live.

186
00:13:38,877 --> 00:13:42,213
You know, this is all because you've been
hanging out with that Frank Sinatra Jr.

187
00:13:42,338 --> 00:13:45,884
I am gonna call his mother Mia Farrow
and give her a piece of my mind.

188
00:13:46,009 --> 00:13:48,052
And you are gonna stop singing
at that crazy club.

189
00:13:48,386 --> 00:13:51,181
- Operator, Mia Farrow, please.
- You stay out of my life!

190
00:13:53,892 --> 00:13:55,727
What the hell is happening to you?

191
00:13:55,852 --> 00:13:58,271
Yeah, don't worry, I don't need to go
to the hospital or anything.

192
00:13:58,396 --> 00:14:00,190
I'll just use this Mr. Potato Head piece.

193
00:14:04,486 --> 00:14:08,948
- He bit me, Lois. The bastard bit me.
- Oh, honey, I'm sure he didn't mean it.

194
00:14:09,073 --> 00:14:12,911
Brian's going through some heavy stuff
right now. He almost died.

195
00:14:15,330 --> 00:14:17,040
Listen, Peter, I...

196
00:14:17,665 --> 00:14:20,210
I just want to apologize.
You know what? Forget it.

197
00:14:20,335 --> 00:14:22,462
I don't need this.
I'm out of here.

198
00:14:22,962 --> 00:14:24,506
Look what you did, Peter.

199
00:14:24,589 --> 00:14:28,051
I can't help it. I haven't been this scared
since I was mugged by Gene Shalit.

200
00:14:28,176 --> 00:14:29,969
<i>Don't Panic Room.</i>

201
00:14:30,095 --> 00:14:33,014
I'm not going to William Hurt you.

202
00:14:33,264 --> 00:14:36,142
<i>I only want your Tango & Cash.</i>

203
00:14:36,518 --> 00:14:38,436
<i>So just Pay It Forward</i>

204
00:14:38,561 --> 00:14:41,648
<i>and we'll all be Happy Gilmore.</i>

205
00:14:41,981 --> 00:14:42,941
What?

206
00:14:47,487 --> 00:14:50,490
So, how's my suddenly
lesbian daughter doing?

207
00:14:50,615 --> 00:14:55,495
Great. We're checking out naked girls.
I am so into girls.

208
00:14:55,662 --> 00:14:58,164
Oh, come on, Meg,
you can stop the charade.

209
00:14:58,248 --> 00:15:00,708
My God, you're as transparent
as your father was

210
00:15:00,834 --> 00:15:03,294
when he pretended to be
a Hasidic Jew to get off work.

211
00:15:03,586 --> 00:15:07,632
Good morning, Hebrews and shebrews.
What a glorious Jewish day.

212
00:15:07,757 --> 00:15:10,802
Hey, how about all those coupons
in the Sunday paper, huh?

213
00:15:10,927 --> 00:15:12,470
Some good deals there.

214
00:15:12,554 --> 00:15:16,141
Hey, you know, I went into a store
last week and they wanted $800 for a TV,

215
00:15:16,266 --> 00:15:18,768
but I us'ed them down to $500.

216
00:15:20,562 --> 00:15:23,857
It's not a charade, Mom. I am a lesbian.

217
00:15:23,982 --> 00:15:25,692
What do I have to do to prove this to you?

218
00:15:25,817 --> 00:15:28,278
Well, maybe if I'd seen you
kiss your girlfriend.

219
00:15:28,361 --> 00:15:30,488
- Fine.
- What was that?

220
00:15:30,613 --> 00:15:32,615
What is she, your grandmother?

221
00:15:32,699 --> 00:15:34,993
That's no kiss. Watch this.

222
00:15:42,041 --> 00:15:44,169
Look, I can't tell you how to lead your life.

223
00:15:44,252 --> 00:15:48,089
If you don't want to face the truth,
there's nothing I can do about it.

224
00:15:48,882 --> 00:15:51,885
Chris, I'm all out of digital audio tape.
Oh, he's gone.

225
00:15:52,010 --> 00:15:53,970
Hey, can I get you guys
to sign these release forms?

226
00:15:56,723 --> 00:16:00,018
- Oh, where the hell is Brian?
- I don't know, but I better go find him.

227
00:16:00,143 --> 00:16:02,437
We can't sit here watching
infomercials all night.

228
00:16:02,562 --> 00:16:04,731
<i>Hello. How come I rich and you not?</i>

229
00:16:04,856 --> 00:16:07,025
<i>How come you not sell real estate
like I do?</i>

230
00:16:07,150 --> 00:16:08,985
<i>How come I sleep with your wife
while you at work</i>

231
00:16:09,068 --> 00:16:11,488
<i>and then I pee in your toilet
and don't flush?</i>

232
00:16:11,571 --> 00:16:14,866
<i>And sometimes I open the back part and
I pee in there, so that when you flush</i>

233
00:16:14,949 --> 00:16:17,076
<i>pee come out. You know why?
Because I'm smart.</i>

234
00:16:17,202 --> 00:16:19,162
<i>I'm smart, you're stupid. Call now.</i>

235
00:16:19,621 --> 00:16:23,374
Brian! Brian!

236
00:16:23,666 --> 00:16:27,337
Brian! Brian...

237
00:16:28,630 --> 00:16:32,759
Who am I kidding? All those buttons,
I'll look like Steve Harvey. Brian!

238
00:16:36,096 --> 00:16:38,598
Yeah, I'll ask the cashier
if I can put this up in the window.

239
00:16:38,890 --> 00:16:43,436
I definitely need a breath freshener.
But that's going to give me 11 items.

240
00:16:43,770 --> 00:16:45,730
- That's fine.
- No, no, no.

241
00:16:45,814 --> 00:16:49,526
Rules is rules.
Let's see what I'm gonna put back.

242
00:16:49,651 --> 00:16:52,946
Okay, I need the Reynolds Wrap
and the bathroom tissue.

243
00:16:53,238 --> 00:16:56,783
I could do without the Triscuits,
but they sure are good.

244
00:16:57,700 --> 00:17:01,830
7- Up's the whole reason I came down here
in the first place. You know what?

245
00:17:02,122 --> 00:17:03,623
I'm not gonna need the V8,

246
00:17:03,748 --> 00:17:07,460
because I can just get some tomato juice
at the mini-mart down the street.

247
00:17:07,544 --> 00:17:09,504
It's a little more expensive,
but that's okay.

248
00:17:09,629 --> 00:17:11,673
I like to help out a small business.

249
00:17:11,798 --> 00:17:14,509
I hope it's okay if I pay you in pennies.

250
00:17:18,555 --> 00:17:20,640
Oh, God, a gutter? How cliché.

251
00:17:20,765 --> 00:17:22,475
I don't know what went wrong.

252
00:17:22,559 --> 00:17:25,186
I was just trying to live for the moment,
you know?

253
00:17:25,311 --> 00:17:29,524
Because life can end so abruptly
and there's nothing you can do to stop it.

254
00:17:29,649 --> 00:17:32,902
Is that why you've been on this path
to self-destruction?

255
00:17:33,027 --> 00:17:36,281
You know, Brian, as smart as you are,
you've got to accept the fact that

256
00:17:36,364 --> 00:17:39,200
there are some things in life
that you just can't control.

257
00:17:39,325 --> 00:17:42,704
You mean the way, the way
you can't control that messed up way

258
00:17:42,829 --> 00:17:45,915
that you laugh when you think
something's really, really funny?

259
00:17:46,040 --> 00:17:49,794
<i>Well, Hope, I don't understand why
these cookies are giving us all the fits.</i>

260
00:17:49,878 --> 00:17:53,631
<i>Well, no wonder, Faith.
That's not baking powder.</i>

261
00:17:53,882 --> 00:17:55,550
<i>It's sneezing powder.</i>

262
00:18:00,221 --> 00:18:04,100
<i>But, I already brought a whole batch
to the church bake sale.</i>

263
00:18:07,562 --> 00:18:10,732
<i>No wonder that priest kept saying,
'"Bless you. '"</i>

264
00:18:16,529 --> 00:18:17,739
Yes, and I accept that.

265
00:18:17,864 --> 00:18:21,201
Your problem is, you think that
just because you're not in control,

266
00:18:21,284 --> 00:18:25,038
nothing matters. That you don't matter.
But you know what?

267
00:18:25,163 --> 00:18:28,082
You matter to someone.
You matter big time.

268
00:18:31,002 --> 00:18:32,837
Hey, Meg. What are you doing here?

269
00:18:32,921 --> 00:18:35,757
Listen, Sarah,
I got to get something off my chest.

270
00:18:35,924 --> 00:18:38,593
- Yes!
- I need to open up.

271
00:18:38,718 --> 00:18:41,721
- Sweet.
- So get ready 'cause here it is.

272
00:18:41,846 --> 00:18:45,266
- My mom was right.
- What do you mean?

273
00:18:45,350 --> 00:18:47,435
- I'm not gay.
- What?

274
00:18:47,519 --> 00:18:50,855
So, all those rounds of golf we played,
those were all lies?

275
00:18:50,980 --> 00:18:52,273
I'm so sorry.

276
00:18:52,357 --> 00:18:55,151
For the first time in my life,
I felt like I belonged,

277
00:18:55,276 --> 00:18:59,322
and I wanted it to be true.
So I pretended to be something I'm not.

278
00:18:59,447 --> 00:19:01,616
You're going to choose
to be heterosexual?

279
00:19:01,741 --> 00:19:04,202
- I thought being gay wasn't a choice.
- Well, not for guys.

280
00:19:04,327 --> 00:19:07,330
It was wrong of me to mislead you.
I should go.

281
00:19:07,455 --> 00:19:10,834
That was awful. That was just awful.
What do you think, Mark?

282
00:19:10,959 --> 00:19:13,503
I don't know, man.
We didn't get the shots we need.

283
00:19:13,628 --> 00:19:15,338
Man, what do you think, Mike?

284
00:19:15,463 --> 00:19:17,590
I mean, if you saw action going on
in front of you,

285
00:19:17,674 --> 00:19:19,968
would you know instinctively
to center it in front of you?

286
00:19:20,093 --> 00:19:22,971
I don't know. Could someone take
my soda out of the icebox please,

287
00:19:23,054 --> 00:19:24,180
so it doesn't freeze?

288
00:20:45,637 --> 00:20:48,264
- Frank, there you are.
- Mia Farrow?

289
00:20:48,389 --> 00:20:51,643
What's this I hear about you up all night
with a baby and a dog?

290
00:20:51,768 --> 00:20:53,269
Oh, leave me alone.

291
00:20:53,394 --> 00:20:54,813
Get over here, young man.

292
00:20:54,896 --> 00:20:56,356
Damn it all.

