1
00:00:34,852 --> 00:00:37,893
- Hey, how'd you sleep, Peter?
- Brian, last night I had this crazy dream.

2
00:00:37,973 --> 00:00:40,134
I was eating a sheep
and now my pillow's gone.

3
00:00:40,254 --> 00:00:42,895
Oh, wait. Here it is.
What the hell was I eating?

4
00:00:46,896 --> 00:00:48,457
Oh, sorry.

5
00:01:03,742 --> 00:01:04,742
See you, Lois.

6
00:01:04,822 --> 00:01:07,943
And like I tell you every day, if I come
back in the middle of the afternoon

7
00:01:08,023 --> 00:01:10,744
and you're having sex with somebody,
I'll kill you both.

8
00:01:11,305 --> 00:01:15,186
"Thanks to effective treatments,
Magic Johnson down to one AID."

9
00:01:16,386 --> 00:01:19,948
Oh, God, did I hit that deaf kid again?
They ought to put a bell on that guy.

10
00:01:22,549 --> 00:01:25,750
The nurse says Brian won't be out
of surgery for another three hours.

11
00:01:25,830 --> 00:01:28,271
- Oh, I hope he's gonna be okay.
- Me, too.

12
00:01:28,351 --> 00:01:31,112
I know we're not here to place blame
or beat ourselves up, but,

13
00:01:31,232 --> 00:01:34,153
I can't help feeling like
this is somehow Meg's fault.

14
00:01:34,273 --> 00:01:36,794
Oh, I just can't stand the thought
of losing Brian.

15
00:01:36,874 --> 00:01:40,075
If he dies, I'm gonna have
to start hanging out with The Rock again.

16
00:01:40,195 --> 00:01:44,836
<i>One's a baby,
and the other's black, I think.</i>

17
00:01:45,157 --> 00:01:48,358
<i>At least part black. Or Hispanic.</i>

18
00:01:48,998 --> 00:01:51,559
<i>I think, you know, possibly,
there's some Filipino in there.</i>

19
00:01:51,679 --> 00:01:53,520
<i>Yeah, possibly some Filipino.</i>

20
00:01:53,920 --> 00:01:57,161
<i>I mean, if he, if he's black,
it's definitely diluted.</i>

21
00:01:57,841 --> 00:02:00,202
<i>I mean, one of his parents must be white.</i>

22
00:02:00,562 --> 00:02:03,643
<i>What the hell is Jessica Alba,
for that matter?</i>

23
00:02:04,363 --> 00:02:07,845
<i>If I were 40 years younger,
I would plow that till next July.</i>

24
00:02:10,326 --> 00:02:13,167
All right, class, today as a special treat,
I'm going to show you this

25
00:02:13,247 --> 00:02:15,887
<i>fascinating episode of NOVA
that I taped at home for you.</i>

26
00:02:17,848 --> 00:02:19,329
You coming back to bed, Rob?

27
00:02:19,409 --> 00:02:21,730
Hang on, honey. Hang on.
My jaw keeps locking up.

28
00:02:21,810 --> 00:02:23,850
<i>Well, that's not NOVA at all, is it?</i>

29
00:02:24,851 --> 00:02:27,051
That's a sex tape I made with my wife.

30
00:02:27,131 --> 00:02:29,932
Of course, nobody here is interested
in seeing that sort of thing.

31
00:02:30,012 --> 00:02:31,693
Are they? Probably not. No.

32
00:02:31,773 --> 00:02:34,414
Okay. You kind of looked like
you were nodding? Nope?

33
00:02:34,534 --> 00:02:36,094
Okay. Okay, we should get back to work.

34
00:02:36,135 --> 00:02:38,576
All right, next up,
does everyone have a lab partner?

35
00:02:38,656 --> 00:02:39,896
- I don't.
- Me, neither.

36
00:02:40,016 --> 00:02:40,936
She can be my partner.

37
00:02:41,016 --> 00:02:43,937
Sarah, that's very irresponsible.
Meg is awful.

38
00:02:44,338 --> 00:02:46,018
- You want to be my lab partner?
- Really?

39
00:02:46,138 --> 00:02:47,219
Sure, you seem nice.

40
00:02:47,299 --> 00:02:49,179
Hey, do you want
to join my after-school club?

41
00:02:49,299 --> 00:02:50,299
Sure.

42
00:02:50,340 --> 00:02:52,556
Now, open your books to page...
You know what? Look, I'm sorry.

43
00:02:52,580 --> 00:02:54,940
Can I just go ahead and show this video
of me doing my wife?

44
00:02:56,862 --> 00:02:58,943
Here we are, Brian, safe and sound.

45
00:02:59,063 --> 00:03:02,224
- Peter, I don't need to be in a wheelchair.
- Now, now, no arguments, Brian.

46
00:03:02,304 --> 00:03:04,985
I already went through the trouble
of borrowing this ramp from Joe.

47
00:03:05,105 --> 00:03:07,426
I'll see you, honey. I'll be back in a...

48
00:03:07,746 --> 00:03:09,186
Joe, are you all right?

49
00:03:09,306 --> 00:03:12,187
Don't help me up.
I need to retain my independence.

50
00:03:13,188 --> 00:03:15,709
- You need anything from the market?
- PowerBar!

51
00:03:18,550 --> 00:03:19,710
What's wrong, Brian?

52
00:03:19,790 --> 00:03:23,111
You've just been sitting on the couch
ever since you got back from the hospital.

53
00:03:23,231 --> 00:03:24,832
You need to get out of the house.

54
00:03:24,952 --> 00:03:26,793
I don't know, Lois. I'm a little depressed.

55
00:03:26,873 --> 00:03:29,394
The accident got me thinking
about how uncertain life is

56
00:03:29,514 --> 00:03:31,234
and how suddenly it can be taken away.

57
00:03:31,314 --> 00:03:33,315
You're going to feel back to normal
in no time.

58
00:03:33,435 --> 00:03:35,596
- Here, have some food.
- I'm not hungry.

59
00:03:35,716 --> 00:03:37,356
Here comes the gravy.

60
00:03:40,998 --> 00:03:42,758
You messy beast.

61
00:03:45,799 --> 00:03:47,400
Well, hello there, Meg.

62
00:03:47,960 --> 00:03:50,121
Neil, I really can't be seen talking
to you anymore.

63
00:03:50,241 --> 00:03:52,762
I have friends now,
and some of them, very popular.

64
00:03:52,882 --> 00:03:55,523
I know. I heard Sarah is your lab partner.

65
00:03:55,603 --> 00:03:58,564
All those years of you rejecting me
finally made sense.

66
00:03:58,644 --> 00:03:59,884
What do you mean?

67
00:04:03,406 --> 00:04:05,566
Oh, my God!

68
00:04:11,528 --> 00:04:13,169
Meg! There you are.

69
00:04:13,249 --> 00:04:15,610
Hey, everybody,
this is our newest member, Meg.

70
00:04:15,730 --> 00:04:16,850
- Hi, Meg.
- What's up?

71
00:04:16,930 --> 00:04:18,931
Hi, you gays, guys. Girls.

72
00:04:19,611 --> 00:04:23,333
Look, listen, Sarah, I can't be
in your club. I'm not a lesbian.

73
00:04:23,453 --> 00:04:26,334
You can't be serious.
We had a whole party planned for you.

74
00:04:26,454 --> 00:04:28,534
Really? A party, for me?

75
00:04:28,655 --> 00:04:31,496
- But I guess if you're not a lesbian...
- Wait, wait.

76
00:04:31,616 --> 00:04:33,816
You didn't let me finish.
I'm not a lesbian.

77
00:04:33,936 --> 00:04:36,137
I'm a super, huge mega-lesbian.

78
00:04:36,257 --> 00:04:38,858
Good.
You'll fit in with the other mega-lesbians.

79
00:04:53,903 --> 00:04:56,104
Wow! I feel so socially accepted.

80
00:04:56,224 --> 00:04:59,145
Hey, do you have any other friends
you want to invite to your party?

81
00:04:59,265 --> 00:05:02,266
No. Most of my friends are out of town.

82
00:05:02,547 --> 00:05:06,268
Oh, this is gonna be great!
We'll stay up late, trade stories.

83
00:05:07,148 --> 00:05:09,829
Let's watch the video of my ballet recital.

84
00:05:11,150 --> 00:05:12,390
Here it is!

85
00:05:15,191 --> 00:05:17,352
Sunshine Bear. Wait!

86
00:05:27,956 --> 00:05:29,836
- Hey, how's it going?
- Good.

87
00:05:29,956 --> 00:05:31,597
Those are huge.

88
00:05:31,677 --> 00:05:34,838
Those are huge boobs.
And you know what's nice?

89
00:05:34,958 --> 00:05:38,959
That you don't have that blue vein
up there that some of the bigger ones get.

90
00:05:40,120 --> 00:05:42,881
What? I said you don't have that.

91
00:05:43,001 --> 00:05:47,362
- Hey, buddy, you're not looking so good.
- Who cares how I look? Nothing matters.

92
00:05:47,482 --> 00:05:49,683
We could all die tomorrow,
every one of us.

93
00:05:49,803 --> 00:05:52,524
Well, isn't that a damn good reason
to live it up today?

94
00:05:52,604 --> 00:05:56,766
- Come on, it can't possibly be that simple.
- Excuse me. I got a thing to do.

95
00:05:57,406 --> 00:06:00,167
<i>All right, ladies and gentlemen,
we have a very special guest tonight.</i>

96
00:06:00,247 --> 00:06:04,488
<i>Please welcome the Member of the Board,
Frank Sinatra Jr.</i>

97
00:06:40,581 --> 00:06:43,462
All this singing is contagious.
I'll sing, too.

98
00:06:49,024 --> 00:06:50,665
A little bit softer now.

99
00:06:58,708 --> 00:07:01,069
I'll come out when they're all gone.

100
00:07:05,350 --> 00:07:08,431
Wow, Brian, you actually got
to sing with Frank Sinatra Jr?

101
00:07:08,551 --> 00:07:09,552
Oh, it was amazing.

102
00:07:09,632 --> 00:07:13,113
I got to tell you, he said some things
that were exactly what I needed to hear,

103
00:07:13,233 --> 00:07:15,514
and I was just inspired
to get up on that stage.

104
00:07:15,634 --> 00:07:17,754
Got to live life for today, you know?

105
00:07:17,874 --> 00:07:20,956
Brian, don't you think it's a little
too early to be hitting the booze?

106
00:07:21,076 --> 00:07:22,212
Hey, what's the point of waiting?

107
00:07:22,236 --> 00:07:24,173
You got to live life while you can
and live it hard.

108
00:07:24,197 --> 00:07:25,717
The Chris Farley method, that's good.

109
00:07:25,797 --> 00:07:27,358
Frank invited me back this evening.

110
00:07:27,478 --> 00:07:30,719
I tell you, I feel more exhilarated than
Peter did when he swam with the bulls.

111
00:07:54,768 --> 00:07:56,768
Yeah, that's fair.
No, that's totally a fair score.

112
00:08:01,770 --> 00:08:05,891
You know, Brian, when you wear that suit,
it looks like you're taking a white poop.

113
00:08:06,812 --> 00:08:07,852
But it's stuck.

114
00:08:07,972 --> 00:08:10,853
Look, Lois asked me to baby-sit you,
so just stay here and be quiet.

115
00:08:10,933 --> 00:08:12,854
I'll be back after my first set.

116
00:08:15,135 --> 00:08:17,496
What the hell am I supposed
to do to kill time?

117
00:08:17,936 --> 00:08:19,656
Oh, maybe I'll play 52 Pickup.

118
00:08:21,217 --> 00:08:23,418
This game's better
if there's someone else here.

119
00:08:23,538 --> 00:08:26,299
'Cause then they can say,
"I'm not going to pick up those cards."

120
00:08:26,419 --> 00:08:29,460
And then I say,
"You have to, it's 52 Pickup."

121
00:08:29,580 --> 00:08:32,261
And they say,
"Well, what if I just leave them there?"

122
00:08:32,341 --> 00:08:35,822
And I say, " Those are my father's cards.
You can't just leave them there.

123
00:08:35,902 --> 00:08:37,303
"He's going to be mad."

124
00:08:37,543 --> 00:08:38,543
Where am I?

125
00:08:49,147 --> 00:08:50,347
Get out of here.

126
00:09:01,231 --> 00:09:04,432
Whoa. Easy, kid. These people paid
good money to get in here.

127
00:09:04,512 --> 00:09:06,913
Oh, yeah? How much
are you charging them to get out?

128
00:09:25,160 --> 00:09:26,280
That was sensational.

129
00:09:26,400 --> 00:09:29,200
We're going to be the biggest thing
since Edison harnessed electricity.

130
00:09:31,722 --> 00:09:34,363
Look at Edison over there
with his damn electricity.

131
00:09:34,443 --> 00:09:37,124
Hey, Edison, how about sharing some
of those light bulbs, huh?

132
00:09:37,244 --> 00:09:41,005
- Hey, figure it out for yourself, man.
- We're freezing our asses off over here.

133
00:09:41,125 --> 00:09:43,006
Hey, man, how do you think I feel,
you know?

134
00:09:43,086 --> 00:09:46,207
You get to look at my great house.
I get to look at that dark thing, huh?

135
00:09:46,287 --> 00:09:48,664
What, what is that, a candle over there?
That's pretty sweet.

136
00:09:48,688 --> 00:09:51,089
Yeah, it's a candle.
We're freezing over here.

137
00:09:51,169 --> 00:09:54,410
No one in my family's taken a bath
in a month. We stink.

138
00:09:54,490 --> 00:09:55,690
It stinks over here, you jerk.

139
00:09:55,770 --> 00:09:57,187
I can't hear you over my central heating.

140
00:09:57,211 --> 00:09:59,612
- Hey, why don't you go to hell, Edison.
- Hey, bite me, man.

141
00:09:59,732 --> 00:10:00,932
<i>Hey, you guys seen The Office?</i>

142
00:10:01,012 --> 00:10:03,149
Oh, no, I guess you haven't
'cause you don't have a TV.

143
00:10:03,173 --> 00:10:05,110
Hey, how about I come over there
and kick your ass?

144
00:10:05,134 --> 00:10:06,614
Yeah, come on over.

145
00:10:16,458 --> 00:10:19,859
- What is this, Lois?
- It's jambalaya. It's a new recipe.

146
00:10:22,740 --> 00:10:26,021
Peter. Eat your food, mister.

147
00:10:26,501 --> 00:10:28,862
All right, if you don't want it,
put it in your napkin.

148
00:10:28,982 --> 00:10:32,824
Peter, put it in your napkin!
Put it in your...

149
00:10:32,944 --> 00:10:35,064
I'm not gonna...

150
00:10:35,424 --> 00:10:38,225
You know, some people would
be very happy to have this food.

151
00:10:38,305 --> 00:10:39,666
Like John Goodman's family.

152
00:10:40,786 --> 00:10:41,907
Please, Daddy.

153
00:10:41,987 --> 00:10:45,188
I told you, when I'm finished,
you can have what's left.

154
00:10:45,308 --> 00:10:48,829
There won't be any left.
There's never any left.

155
00:10:53,031 --> 00:10:54,551
Happy Thanksgiving.

156
00:10:58,873 --> 00:11:00,593
Mom, why is the cable guy here?

157
00:11:00,713 --> 00:11:03,634
It's me, you guys,
and I have something to tell you all.

158
00:11:03,755 --> 00:11:07,036
Mom. Dad. I am a lesbian.

159
00:11:08,236 --> 00:11:11,077
- That is awesome.
- Peter.

160
00:11:11,157 --> 00:11:13,158
Meg, you are not a lesbian.

161
00:11:13,238 --> 00:11:14,918
You know, I don't care
what you guys think.

162
00:11:15,038 --> 00:11:18,600
All my new lesbian friends accept me,
and that's all that matters.

163
00:11:18,680 --> 00:11:21,241
Meg, you're my daughter.
I would accept you if you were gay

164
00:11:21,361 --> 00:11:23,441
or blind or retarded, but you're not.

165
00:11:23,562 --> 00:11:27,443
You guys don't care about me
and my struggle! I hate you!

166
00:11:27,563 --> 00:11:31,284
Meg, I think you're just trying to fit in
by pretending to be something you're not.

167
00:11:31,364 --> 00:11:34,325
Like the time Peter pretended
to be racist to get out of jury duty.

168
00:11:37,446 --> 00:11:39,567
Awful lot of honkies in here.

169
00:12:16,420 --> 00:12:19,461
Brian, there you are.
Do you have any idea what time it is?

170
00:12:19,581 --> 00:12:21,622
Stewie was supposed
to be in bed two hours ago.

171
00:12:21,702 --> 00:12:24,863
Oh, yeah, he... He's...

172
00:12:24,983 --> 00:12:27,584
He was right here,
right next to me like, four hours ago.

173
00:12:27,664 --> 00:12:30,545
What? Brian,
you were supposed to watch him!

174
00:12:30,665 --> 00:12:34,307
- Oh, my little sweetie!
- Hey, Brian, remember me?

175
00:12:34,427 --> 00:12:36,083
I'm the guy you left standing
at the counter

176
00:12:36,107 --> 00:12:38,508
at McDonald's with a bag full of burgers.

177
00:12:38,588 --> 00:12:41,069
You know, it's funny,
I tried to walk home and...

178
00:12:41,349 --> 00:12:44,870
A lot of hungry deer walking around
at this hour of the night and...

179
00:12:44,950 --> 00:12:48,872
Oh, here's where the story gets fun.
You may have noticed I'm missing an ear.

180
00:12:48,952 --> 00:12:53,233
Managed to pull it out of the deer's mouth
and put it in some ice I got at a 7-Eleven.

181
00:12:53,313 --> 00:12:56,194
So, when you're ready to apologize,
just talk into this cup.

182
00:12:56,274 --> 00:12:58,115
Brian, this is inexcusable.

183
00:12:58,195 --> 00:12:59,972
Yeah, what if something
had happened to Stewie?

184
00:12:59,996 --> 00:13:01,836
My ear's in a cup,
I guess that doesn't count.

185
00:13:01,916 --> 00:13:04,733
Hey, I'm not the kid's baby-sitter,
all right? I have my own life to live.

186
00:13:04,757 --> 00:13:07,959
You know, this is all because you've been
hanging out with that Frank Sinatra Jr.

187
00:13:08,079 --> 00:13:11,480
I am gonna call his mother Mia Farrow
and give her a piece of my mind.

188
00:13:11,600 --> 00:13:13,560
And you are gonna stop singing
at that crazy club.

189
00:13:13,881 --> 00:13:16,562
- Operator, Mia Farrow, please.
- You stay out of my life!

190
00:13:19,162 --> 00:13:20,923
What the hell is happening to you?

191
00:13:21,043 --> 00:13:23,460
Yeah, don't worry, I don't need to go
to the hospital or anything.

192
00:13:23,484 --> 00:13:25,205
I'll just use this Mr. Potato Head piece.

193
00:13:29,326 --> 00:13:33,608
- He bit me, Lois. The bastard bit me.
- Oh, honey, I'm sure he didn't mean it.

194
00:13:33,728 --> 00:13:37,409
Brian's going through some heavy stuff
right now. He almost died.

195
00:13:39,730 --> 00:13:41,370
Listen, Peter, I...

196
00:13:41,971 --> 00:13:44,411
I just want to apologize.
You know what? Forget it.

197
00:13:44,531 --> 00:13:46,572
I don't need this.
I'm out of here.

198
00:13:47,052 --> 00:13:48,533
Look what you did, Peter.

199
00:13:48,613 --> 00:13:51,934
I can't help it. I haven't been this scared
since I was mugged by Gene Shalit.

200
00:13:52,054 --> 00:13:53,775
<i>Don't Panic Room.</i>

201
00:13:53,895 --> 00:13:56,696
I'm not going to William Hurt you.

202
00:13:56,936 --> 00:13:59,697
<i>I only want your Tango & Cash.</i>

203
00:14:00,057 --> 00:14:01,898
<i>So just Pay It Forward</i>

204
00:14:02,018 --> 00:14:04,979
<i>and we'll all be Happy Gilmore.</i>

205
00:14:05,299 --> 00:14:06,299
What?

206
00:14:10,541 --> 00:14:13,422
So, how's my suddenly
lesbian daughter doing?

207
00:14:13,542 --> 00:14:18,223
Great. We're checking out naked girls.
I am so into girls.

208
00:14:18,383 --> 00:14:20,784
Oh, come on, Meg,
you can stop the charade.

209
00:14:20,864 --> 00:14:23,225
My God, you're as transparent
as your father was

210
00:14:23,345 --> 00:14:25,706
when he pretended to be
a Hasidic Jew to get off work.

211
00:14:25,986 --> 00:14:29,868
Good morning, Hebrews and shebrews.
What a glorious Jewish day.

212
00:14:29,988 --> 00:14:32,909
Hey, how about all those coupons
in the Sunday paper, huh?

213
00:14:33,029 --> 00:14:34,509
Some good deals there.

214
00:14:34,589 --> 00:14:38,030
Hey, you know, I went into a store
last week and they wanted $800 for a TV,

215
00:14:38,150 --> 00:14:40,551
but I us'ed them down to $500.

216
00:14:42,272 --> 00:14:45,433
It's not a charade, Mom. I am a lesbian.

217
00:14:45,553 --> 00:14:47,233
What do I have to do to prove this to you?

218
00:14:47,314 --> 00:14:49,675
Well, maybe if I'd seen you
kiss your girlfriend.

219
00:14:49,755 --> 00:14:51,795
- Fine.
- What was that?

220
00:14:51,915 --> 00:14:53,836
What is she, your grandmother?

221
00:14:53,916 --> 00:14:56,117
That's no kiss. Watch this.

222
00:15:02,879 --> 00:15:04,920
Look, I can't tell you
how to lead your life.

223
00:15:05,000 --> 00:15:08,681
If you don't want to face the truth,
there's nothing I can do about it.

224
00:15:09,442 --> 00:15:12,323
Chris, I'm all out of digital audio tape.
Oh, he's gone.

225
00:15:12,443 --> 00:15:14,483
Hey, can I get you guys
to sign these release forms?

226
00:15:16,964 --> 00:15:20,125
- Oh, where the hell is Brian?
- I don't know, but I better go find him.

227
00:15:20,245 --> 00:15:22,446
We can't sit here watching
infomercials all night.

228
00:15:22,566 --> 00:15:24,647
<i>Hello. How come I rich and you not?</i>

229
00:15:24,767 --> 00:15:26,848
<i>How come you not sell real estate
like I do?</i>

230
00:15:26,968 --> 00:15:28,784
<i>How come I sleep with your wife
while you at work</i>

231
00:15:28,808 --> 00:15:31,129
<i>and then I pee in your toilet
and don't flush?</i>

232
00:15:31,209 --> 00:15:34,370
<i>And sometimes I open the back part and
I pee in there, so that when you flush</i>

233
00:15:34,450 --> 00:15:36,491
<i>pee come out. You know why?
Because I'm smart.</i>

234
00:15:36,611 --> 00:15:38,492
<i>I'm smart, you're stupid. Call now.</i>

235
00:15:38,932 --> 00:15:42,533
Brian! Brian!

236
00:15:42,813 --> 00:15:46,335
Brian! Brian...

237
00:15:47,575 --> 00:15:51,536
Who am I kidding? All those buttons,
I'll look like Steve Harvey. Brian!

238
00:15:54,738 --> 00:15:57,178
Yeah, I'll ask the cashier
if I can put this up in the window.

239
00:15:57,419 --> 00:16:01,740
I definitely need a breath freshener.
But that's going to give me 11 items.

240
00:16:02,060 --> 00:16:03,941
- That's fine.
- No, no, no.

241
00:16:04,021 --> 00:16:07,582
Rules is rules.
Let's see what I'm gonna put back.

242
00:16:07,702 --> 00:16:10,863
Okay, I need the Reynolds Wrap
and the bathroom tissue.

243
00:16:11,143 --> 00:16:14,545
I could do without the Triscuits,
but they sure are good.

244
00:16:15,425 --> 00:16:19,386
7- Up's the whole reason I came down here
in the first place. You know what?

245
00:16:19,666 --> 00:16:21,107
I'm not gonna need the V8,

246
00:16:21,227 --> 00:16:24,788
because I can just get some tomato juice
at the mini-mart down the street.

247
00:16:24,868 --> 00:16:26,749
It's a little more expensive,
but that's okay.

248
00:16:26,869 --> 00:16:28,830
I like to help out a small business.

249
00:16:28,950 --> 00:16:31,551
I hope it's okay if I pay you in pennies.

250
00:16:35,432 --> 00:16:37,433
Oh, God, a gutter? How clichй.

251
00:16:37,553 --> 00:16:39,193
I don't know what went wrong.

252
00:16:39,273 --> 00:16:41,794
I was just trying to live for the moment,
you know?

253
00:16:41,914 --> 00:16:45,956
Because life can end so abruptly
and there's nothing you can do to stop it.

254
00:16:46,076 --> 00:16:49,197
Is that why you've been on this path
to self-destruction?

255
00:16:49,317 --> 00:16:52,438
You know, Brian, as smart as you are,
you've got to accept the fact that

256
00:16:52,518 --> 00:16:55,239
there are some things in life
that you just can't control.

257
00:16:55,359 --> 00:16:58,600
You mean the way, the way
you can't control that messed up way

258
00:16:58,720 --> 00:17:01,681
that you laugh when you think
something's really, really funny?

259
00:17:01,801 --> 00:17:05,403
<i>Well, Hope, I don't understand why
these cookies are giving us all the fits.</i>

260
00:17:05,483 --> 00:17:09,084
<i>Well, no wonder, Faith.
That's not baking powder.</i>

261
00:17:09,324 --> 00:17:10,925
<i>It's sneezing powder.</i>

262
00:17:15,406 --> 00:17:19,127
<i>But, I already brought a whole batch
to the church bake sale.</i>

263
00:17:22,449 --> 00:17:25,490
<i>No wonder that priest kept saying,
' "Bless you. '"</i>

264
00:17:31,052 --> 00:17:32,212
Yes, and I accept that.

265
00:17:32,332 --> 00:17:35,533
Your problem is, you think that
just because you're not in control,

266
00:17:35,613 --> 00:17:39,215
nothing matters. That you don't matter.
But you know what?

267
00:17:39,335 --> 00:17:42,136
You matter to someone.
You matter big time.

268
00:17:44,937 --> 00:17:46,697
Hey, Meg. What are you doing here?

269
00:17:46,777 --> 00:17:49,498
Listen, Sarah,
I got to get something off my chest.

270
00:17:49,658 --> 00:17:52,219
- Yes!
- I need to open up.

271
00:17:52,339 --> 00:17:55,220
- Sweet.
- So get ready 'cause here it is.

272
00:17:55,340 --> 00:17:58,581
- My mom was right.
- What do you mean?

273
00:17:58,661 --> 00:18:00,662
- I'm not gay.
- What?

274
00:18:00,742 --> 00:18:03,943
So, all those rounds of golf we played,
those were all lies?

275
00:18:04,063 --> 00:18:05,304
I'm so sorry.

276
00:18:05,384 --> 00:18:08,065
For the first time in my life,
I felt like I belonged,

277
00:18:08,185 --> 00:18:12,066
and I wanted it to be true.
So I pretended to be something I'm not.

278
00:18:12,186 --> 00:18:14,267
You're going to choose
to be heterosexual?

279
00:18:14,387 --> 00:18:16,748
- I thought being gay wasn't a choice.
- Well, not for guys.

280
00:18:16,868 --> 00:18:19,749
It was wrong of me to mislead you.
I should go.

281
00:18:19,869 --> 00:18:23,110
That was awful. That was just awful.
What do you think, Mark?

282
00:18:23,230 --> 00:18:25,671
I don't know, man.
We didn't get the shots we need.

283
00:18:25,791 --> 00:18:27,432
Man, what do you think, Mike?

284
00:18:27,552 --> 00:18:29,592
I mean, if you saw action going on
in front of you,

285
00:18:29,672 --> 00:18:31,953
would you know instinctively
to center it in front of you?

286
00:18:31,993 --> 00:18:34,754
I don't know. Could someone take
my soda out of the icebox please,

287
00:18:34,834 --> 00:18:35,915
so it doesn't freeze?

288
00:19:54,022 --> 00:19:56,543
- Frank, there you are.
- Mia Farrow?

289
00:19:56,663 --> 00:19:59,784
What's this I hear about you up all night
with a baby and a dog?

290
00:19:59,904 --> 00:20:01,345
Oh, leave me alone.

291
00:20:01,465 --> 00:20:02,825
Get over here, young man.

292
00:20:02,906 --> 00:20:04,306
Damn it all.

