1
00:00:02,535 --> 00:00:05,561
It seems today that all you see

2
00:00:05,939 --> 00:00:09,170
Is violence in movies and sex on TV

3
00:00:09,309 --> 00:00:12,710
But where are those
good old-fashioned values

4
00:00:12,946 --> 00:00:15,471
On which we used to rely?

5
00:00:15,949 --> 00:00:18,645
Lucky there's a family guy

6
00:00:19,219 --> 00:00:22,586
Lucky there's a man who
Positively can do

7
00:00:22,722 --> 00:00:24,155
All the things that make us

8
00:00:24,257 --> 00:00:25,918
Laugh and cry

9
00:00:26,026 --> 00:00:30,690
He's a family guy

10
00:00:35,201 --> 00:00:37,101
On the next ePisode
ofDeadwood.

11
00:00:37,971 --> 00:00:40,201
- Anything yet?
- No, you?

12
00:00:40,373 --> 00:00:41,362
NoPe.

13
00:00:41,474 --> 00:00:42,463
Next Deadwood.

14
00:00:43,443 --> 00:00:45,308
Chris, what're you all dressed up for?

15
00:00:45,412 --> 00:00:49,508
These are my back-to-school clothes.
I start high school tomorrow.

16
00:00:49,616 --> 00:00:52,779
Oh, boy. You better watch out
for the Freshman Hunt.

17
00:00:52,886 --> 00:00:56,913
Yeah. That's where seniors hunt down
freshmen and nail them with paddles.

18
00:00:57,023 --> 00:01:00,390
Man, remember how much that was,
beating those freshmen silly?

19
00:01:01,294 --> 00:01:02,283
Oh, yeah.

20
00:01:02,395 --> 00:01:04,295
You're not serious, are you?

21
00:01:04,397 --> 00:01:08,128
Chris, I'm just as serious as I was
when I saw Paul Reiser do standup.

22
00:01:08,468 --> 00:01:12,165
What's the deal with airline food?
I mean, is this stuff bad or what?

23
00:01:12,272 --> 00:01:14,467
Well, that's not nice.
Those chefs work really hard.

24
00:01:14,607 --> 00:01:17,542
And what's with those Starbucks, huh?
They're everywhere.

25
00:01:18,144 --> 00:01:19,771
Lot of people want coffee.

26
00:01:19,879 --> 00:01:23,144
It's supply and demand. It's the foundation
of our entire economy, Paul.

27
00:01:23,483 --> 00:01:27,351
And who do I talk to about
those long lines at the ATM?

28
00:01:27,454 --> 00:01:28,546
That's what I want to know.

29
00:01:29,155 --> 00:01:30,713
Not me, Mr. Reiser.

30
00:01:30,824 --> 00:01:33,315
Someone who has time to fritter away,
but not me.

31
00:01:34,394 --> 00:01:37,557
Peter, what're you doing?
You've been out of work forever.

32
00:01:37,664 --> 00:01:40,565
You promised me you were going out
to look for a job today.

33
00:01:40,667 --> 00:01:43,192
Oh, okay. I'll go look for a job, Lois.

34
00:01:43,837 --> 00:01:46,567
What is this? The latest Redbook.

35
00:01:49,909 --> 00:01:51,137
Is she gone?

36
00:01:51,311 --> 00:01:52,710
Them and their squabbling.

37
00:01:52,812 --> 00:01:55,337
Although I suppose they're not
the first couple to have problems.

38
00:01:57,217 --> 00:01:59,276
- Did you have a nice day?
- It was okay.

39
00:02:00,086 --> 00:02:02,748
You know,
our son got into your closet today.

40
00:02:03,823 --> 00:02:04,847
Okay.

41
00:02:04,958 --> 00:02:08,587
Anything... Anything in there, maybe you
wouldn't have wanted him to see?

42
00:02:09,062 --> 00:02:10,029
No.

43
00:02:10,130 --> 00:02:13,293
Really? You don't have any
dirty pictures in there?

44
00:02:13,566 --> 00:02:14,533
No.

45
00:02:15,001 --> 00:02:17,595
Then how do you explain these?

46
00:02:18,104 --> 00:02:21,733
- So what? So, I have some paintings.
- Is this how you want me to look?

47
00:02:21,841 --> 00:02:23,832
Come on, Karen.
Do you hate your body so much...

48
00:02:23,943 --> 00:02:26,776
you have to reduce every painting of
the female form to pornography?

49
00:02:26,880 --> 00:02:28,814
Don't you do that.
Don't make this my fault.

50
00:02:28,915 --> 00:02:31,145
It is your fault.
I just want to come home and have dinner.

51
00:02:31,251 --> 00:02:34,550
And have my wife say, "Hello, how was
your day?" That's impossible for you.

52
00:02:34,721 --> 00:02:36,018
- You know what this is about?
- What?

53
00:02:36,122 --> 00:02:39,956
This is about your disrespect for me,
this family and everything we stand for.

54
00:02:40,059 --> 00:02:42,289
What do we stand for?
Who are we, the Goracks now?

55
00:02:42,395 --> 00:02:43,555
Suddenly you're Cynthia Gorack.

56
00:02:43,663 --> 00:02:46,154
That's what you want, isn't it?
You want to be Cynthia Gorack.

57
00:02:46,266 --> 00:02:50,168
You know what, at least Cynthia Gorack's
husband cares about her family.

58
00:02:50,370 --> 00:02:52,304
I can't even talk to you
when you're like this.

59
00:02:52,405 --> 00:02:55,499
Okay. It's over now because you say it is.
Way to go, Karen.

60
00:02:55,608 --> 00:02:58,372
You solve all our problems
by just walking away!

61
00:02:58,478 --> 00:03:00,469
And it's so obvious
I don't care about the family.

62
00:03:00,580 --> 00:03:03,174
I just killed a 700-pound tiger
with a stick and a rock!

63
00:03:03,283 --> 00:03:04,682
That doesn't make you a man, Gary.

64
00:03:04,784 --> 00:03:07,514
Here we go.
Here's act two of the performance.

65
00:03:07,754 --> 00:03:10,188
Karen pretends to leave home
for the 20th time.

66
00:03:10,290 --> 00:03:14,090
You know what, Karen. Go!
I'm not going to stop you. Just go!

67
00:03:14,194 --> 00:03:16,788
- Get out! Get the hell out!
- Screw you, Gary!

68
00:03:16,896 --> 00:03:20,354
Yeah, if you did that more often,
maybe I wouldn't need these paintings!

69
00:03:20,700 --> 00:03:22,531
What the hell you looking at?

70
00:03:24,270 --> 00:03:26,738
I say, anybody listen
to Howard Stern this morning?

71
00:03:26,839 --> 00:03:29,865
He had some strippers in the studio.
They sounded hot.

72
00:03:30,109 --> 00:03:33,670
Then he made a joke about a negro.
But Robin laughed, so it was okay.

73
00:03:36,082 --> 00:03:38,380
I think I'm coming down with something.

74
00:03:38,484 --> 00:03:39,473
Chris, relax.

75
00:03:39,586 --> 00:03:43,750
The Freshman Hunt doesn't really exist.
It's just a myth to scare freshmen.

76
00:03:43,856 --> 00:03:46,290
Really? Oh boy, that's a relief.

77
00:03:46,392 --> 00:03:48,383
Now have a good day at school, sweetie.

78
00:03:51,197 --> 00:03:52,858
Freshman!

79
00:03:57,770 --> 00:03:58,759
Help me!

80
00:04:02,308 --> 00:04:03,798
Freshman.

81
00:04:09,282 --> 00:04:11,842
I got you, you freshman.

82
00:04:11,951 --> 00:04:16,285
I'm going to teach you the lesson
that it is not okay to be a freshman.

83
00:04:34,507 --> 00:04:37,772
All right, Mr. Griffin.
Jobs you think you would be suited for.

84
00:04:37,877 --> 00:04:41,176
Let's see what you wrote.
"Cowboy, astronaut...

85
00:04:41,447 --> 00:04:45,247
"warlock, more powerful astronaut,
beer expert. "

86
00:04:45,351 --> 00:04:47,945
Yeah. And I need something
that pays more than my last job as...

87
00:04:48,054 --> 00:04:49,578
Sandy Duncan's glass eye.

88
00:04:50,757 --> 00:04:53,590
Hey Sandy. Sandy?
What?

89
00:04:53,693 --> 00:04:56,628
- What're you buying?
- Some breakfast cereal.

90
00:04:56,729 --> 00:04:59,664
No, don't get that. That's a bad cereal.
Get some of the Boo Berry.

91
00:05:00,633 --> 00:05:03,124
Turns out there's a job opening
at the Pawtucket Brewery.

92
00:05:03,269 --> 00:05:06,864
Wow, that sounds even better than
when I got paid to take part in that study.

93
00:05:07,707 --> 00:05:10,369
The only one who couldn't finish
the puzzle is the fat one.

94
00:05:10,643 --> 00:05:13,874
I'm sorry. I can't see what you're
going for here. Let me look at...

95
00:05:14,013 --> 00:05:16,345
Oh, it's a jar of preserves. Oh.

96
00:05:17,483 --> 00:05:19,678
Yeah, I guess
that's what all the red pieces were.

97
00:05:23,056 --> 00:05:25,149
Hey, Chris, was school any better today?

98
00:05:25,258 --> 00:05:28,022
No, I hate it. I never want to go back!

99
00:05:28,127 --> 00:05:31,688
Oh, come on, it'll get better.
You just have to find your place.

100
00:05:31,831 --> 00:05:33,992
Let's go, Stewie.
Time to change your diaper.

101
00:05:34,100 --> 00:05:36,091
I'm not worried about high school at all.

102
00:05:36,202 --> 00:05:37,226
Worst-case scenario...

103
00:05:37,337 --> 00:05:40,329
I'll carve out a niche as the effeminate
male friend of the popular girls.

104
00:05:40,707 --> 00:05:42,800
Okay, tonight's my OC party.

105
00:05:42,975 --> 00:05:46,775
I got a case of wine coolers,
so we can drink every time Ryan seethes.

106
00:05:46,879 --> 00:05:48,938
- Cool, I'd love to come.
- Me too.

107
00:05:49,048 --> 00:05:50,515
How'd you get the wine coolers?

108
00:05:50,616 --> 00:05:53,346
Oh, it's... I just did some stuff
for a guy in the parking lot.

109
00:05:53,453 --> 00:05:54,920
Does anyone have any Scope?

110
00:05:55,154 --> 00:05:58,351
I don't care what she says.
I'm never going back!

111
00:05:58,458 --> 00:06:00,722
Look, you can't run away
from your problems, Chris.

112
00:06:00,827 --> 00:06:02,089
That's what I tried to do.

113
00:06:02,261 --> 00:06:05,253
I joined the Peace Corps and a day later,
I was two continents away.

114
00:06:05,365 --> 00:06:06,332
- Really?
- Yup.

115
00:06:06,566 --> 00:06:09,296
But 6,000 miles
and all the dope I could smoke...

116
00:06:09,402 --> 00:06:11,302
still couldn't separate me
from my problems.

117
00:06:11,671 --> 00:06:14,572
And this was good dope.
I mean, it was growing everywhere.

118
00:06:14,674 --> 00:06:17,643
Oh, my God.
This one time, we got so baked...

119
00:06:17,744 --> 00:06:20,645
we ended up eating all the food
the World Health Organization...

120
00:06:20,747 --> 00:06:24,239
had airlifted in.
Man, those villagers were so pissed.

121
00:06:24,684 --> 00:06:27,653
They tried to chase us, but let me just say,
thank God for polio.

122
00:06:27,787 --> 00:06:29,220
Anyway, my point is that...

123
00:06:30,590 --> 00:06:34,617
Is Peter here? I want to re-hire him.
My new eye isn't working out.

124
00:06:34,727 --> 00:06:36,354
Hey, Wheat Thins! Take your top off.

125
00:06:41,734 --> 00:06:45,431
I like Pancakes, I like Pancakes
They make me a haPPy Peter

126
00:06:45,538 --> 00:06:47,438
I am haPPy, I am haPPy

127
00:06:48,741 --> 00:06:50,208
Peter, you seem happy this morning.

128
00:06:50,309 --> 00:06:52,402
You bet.
I'm starting my new job at the brewery.

129
00:06:52,512 --> 00:06:55,777
Finally, I'm one of those guys who can't
wait to get to work in the morning.

130
00:06:55,882 --> 00:06:57,008
Like a dairy cow.

131
00:07:00,853 --> 00:07:02,320
Oh, yes!

132
00:07:02,855 --> 00:07:04,482
Yes!

133
00:07:07,260 --> 00:07:09,888
Peter, I just found this note
in Chris' room.

134
00:07:09,996 --> 00:07:13,397
- He ran away to join the Peace Corps.
- Oh, my God! Give me that!

135
00:07:13,566 --> 00:07:14,533
No, that.

136
00:07:26,279 --> 00:07:27,803
I'm bored with it now!

137
00:07:27,914 --> 00:07:30,439
Peter, Chris ran off to South America.

138
00:07:30,550 --> 00:07:32,450
Well, where the hell
would he get an idea like that?

139
00:07:32,552 --> 00:07:36,044
Wait a second. Don't we know someone
who was in the Peace Corps?

140
00:07:36,155 --> 00:07:39,022
Yeah, who was that?
Was that Beau Bridges?

141
00:07:39,358 --> 00:07:41,622
- Do we know Beau Bridges?
- No, we don't.

142
00:07:41,727 --> 00:07:44,560
I am positive we know somebody
who was in the Peace Corps.

143
00:07:44,664 --> 00:07:46,791
Look, it's me, all right.
He got the idea from me.

144
00:07:46,899 --> 00:07:49,493
Brian, what the hell is wrong with you?

145
00:07:49,602 --> 00:07:50,591
I didn't do it on purpose.

146
00:07:50,703 --> 00:07:53,399
And before you fly off the handle,
you may want to think about it.

147
00:07:53,506 --> 00:07:55,701
The kid's obviously confused.
This might be good for him.

148
00:07:55,808 --> 00:07:57,742
People do crazy things
when they're confused.

149
00:07:57,844 --> 00:08:00,108
Like the time my agent
dropped that bomb on me.

150
00:08:00,213 --> 00:08:03,614
- No one in this town will hire you.
- Oh, yeah?

151
00:08:19,732 --> 00:08:22,565
Taxi. Taxi. Taxi!

152
00:08:26,138 --> 00:08:28,402
All right, Chris.
We're approaching your assigned village.

153
00:08:28,508 --> 00:08:30,908
Tell the people to work together
and drink clean water.

154
00:08:31,010 --> 00:08:34,502
And by the way, the word "colored" still
flies down there. So, get your fill.

155
00:08:41,787 --> 00:08:44,847
Hello, I am Chief Oleki.
Welcome to my village.

156
00:08:44,957 --> 00:08:49,087
Our air is clean. Our food is bountiful
and our water is caffeine-free.

157
00:08:49,195 --> 00:08:51,993
Never had it. Never will.

158
00:08:52,231 --> 00:08:53,823
This is my daughter, Loka.

159
00:08:55,735 --> 00:08:58,670
My son, Hidalgo. And my cousin, Vinny.

160
00:08:58,771 --> 00:09:01,171
Hey, how you doing?
Give me a word, any word at all...

161
00:09:01,274 --> 00:09:02,866
and I'll pronounce it funny for a nickel.

162
00:09:06,279 --> 00:09:08,270
- Hello?
- Hi, Mom.

163
00:09:08,447 --> 00:09:12,144
- Chris, are you all right?
- Chris, buddy, thank God you're okay!

164
00:09:12,251 --> 00:09:14,685
- Hi, Dad.
- Hey, this has been driving me crazy.

165
00:09:14,820 --> 00:09:17,186
- Who was the chick on Remington Steele?
- Hello?

166
00:09:17,290 --> 00:09:19,952
- Stephanie Zimbalist?
- No, Stewie Griffin. Who's this?

167
00:09:20,059 --> 00:09:22,892
- Thank you.
- Chris, what are you doing down there?

168
00:09:22,995 --> 00:09:25,555
Relax, Mom. I'm having a great time.

169
00:09:25,665 --> 00:09:28,566
- You people knocked me off the modem.
- When are you coming home?

170
00:09:28,668 --> 00:09:30,033
How's the food in South America?

171
00:09:30,136 --> 00:09:32,127
Do the women there
have exposed clitterati?

172
00:09:32,238 --> 00:09:35,765
I'll be home in a month, after people
have forgotten I'm a freshman.

173
00:09:35,875 --> 00:09:38,435
Well... Please, just take care
of yourself, honey.

174
00:09:38,578 --> 00:09:40,341
Hey guys. Is everyone on the phone?

175
00:09:40,446 --> 00:09:41,811
- I got to go.
- Something's in the oven.

176
00:09:41,914 --> 00:09:44,178
- I lost a shoe.
- Don't leave me on phone with her!

177
00:09:44,283 --> 00:09:46,774
- Stewie?
- Hey.

178
00:09:46,919 --> 00:09:50,218
- How's school?
- Hi, Stewie.

179
00:09:50,323 --> 00:09:52,723
Listen, I am swamped...

180
00:09:52,858 --> 00:09:55,725
but Mom has kept me up to date
on everything you're doing...

181
00:09:55,828 --> 00:09:59,127
and I think it's just great.
Hanging up now.

182
00:10:02,101 --> 00:10:05,161
Boy, this place sure has changed
since Pawtucket Pat sold it.

183
00:10:05,271 --> 00:10:07,364
So, this is where you'll be working,
Mr. Griffin.

184
00:10:07,840 --> 00:10:11,742
Oh, and I should mention, employees
are welcome to free Pawtucket Ale.

185
00:10:11,944 --> 00:10:14,276
We just ask that you don't drink
during your shift.

186
00:10:14,380 --> 00:10:16,314
- That won't be a problem, sir.
- Great.

187
00:10:16,415 --> 00:10:18,383
I'll be right back with your ID badge.

188
00:10:21,554 --> 00:10:23,749
Mr. Griffin, what happened to your pants?

189
00:10:23,856 --> 00:10:25,346
Oh, look, who's here.

190
00:10:25,491 --> 00:10:28,051
Mr. "I don't have time
for your Little League games. "

191
00:10:28,260 --> 00:10:30,194
Come here, you son of a bitch!

192
00:10:32,131 --> 00:10:35,567
Why do you close your eyes
when we make love?

193
00:10:41,974 --> 00:10:44,465
I wonder how your father's first day
at work went?

194
00:10:47,346 --> 00:10:50,679
- Dad, what the hell are you doing?
- Yeah, hey, buddy.

195
00:10:50,816 --> 00:10:55,185
I'll have a triple cheeseburger
and a large fries and...

196
00:10:55,554 --> 00:10:56,612
Do you sell pants?

197
00:10:58,691 --> 00:11:00,750
Hey, Meg, what's with all the beer cans?

198
00:11:00,860 --> 00:11:03,852
My dad got a job at the brewery
and he gets lots of free beer.

199
00:11:03,963 --> 00:11:06,158
Actually, he's kind
of been going overboard lately.

200
00:11:06,298 --> 00:11:10,029
- Oh, my God!
- Hey, Meg, you seen my pants?

201
00:11:11,570 --> 00:11:14,368
Lois, by the way, we're out of toilet paper.

202
00:11:19,845 --> 00:11:22,643
Chris, thank you for helping bring water
to my village.

203
00:11:22,848 --> 00:11:26,409
- You're a hero.
- No. Lou Gehrig was a hero.

204
00:11:26,552 --> 00:11:29,419
Excellent. As soon as I release
this biological toxin...

205
00:11:29,522 --> 00:11:32,582
into the world's water supply,
I will rule the world.

206
00:11:32,758 --> 00:11:35,454
I'll call it "Lou Gehrig's Disease. "

207
00:11:35,628 --> 00:11:38,688
I just have to remember to make sure
this cap is screwed on tight.

208
00:11:40,599 --> 00:11:42,965
Well, I guess the joke's on me.

209
00:11:45,304 --> 00:11:48,501
This is a gift from all of us.
Go ahead, try it on.

210
00:11:48,607 --> 00:11:49,574
Okay.

211
00:11:53,279 --> 00:11:55,679
Oh my, Chris, we can see your genitals.

212
00:11:57,583 --> 00:12:00,108
Just kidding.
Everyone's genitals are hanging out.

213
00:12:00,252 --> 00:12:01,276
Really?

214
00:12:02,521 --> 00:12:05,081
Wow, this is just like Bible camp.

215
00:12:05,224 --> 00:12:08,387
Only I'm not crying and trying
to pretend I'm somewhere else.

216
00:12:11,597 --> 00:12:14,065
Mr. Griffin,
since you can't control your drinking...

217
00:12:14,166 --> 00:12:16,134
you've been demoted to
the shipping department.

218
00:12:16,235 --> 00:12:19,170
- Come on!
- This is your new supervisor, Angela.

219
00:12:19,939 --> 00:12:24,569
Mr. Griffin, we have different rules here.
For starters, no drinking. Period.

220
00:12:24,810 --> 00:12:27,074
We start work at 7:00 a. m. sharp.

221
00:12:27,313 --> 00:12:29,474
This is your co-worker, Opie.

222
00:12:29,682 --> 00:12:33,641
He is a burden of the state,
deemed unfit for mainstream society.

223
00:12:33,819 --> 00:12:35,013
He is your superior.

224
00:12:39,992 --> 00:12:40,981
What'd he say?

225
00:12:41,093 --> 00:12:43,254
He said he wants you
to put your finger in his mouth.

226
00:12:43,362 --> 00:12:45,694
If you value your job, I'd do it.

227
00:12:47,166 --> 00:12:48,360
He bit me!

228
00:12:48,467 --> 00:12:52,460
Mr. Griffin, although I may not fully
understand Opie's management style...

229
00:12:52,571 --> 00:12:55,369
he has proven himself
a more competent employee than you.

230
00:12:55,508 --> 00:12:58,909
So, in my absence, you will listen to him.

231
00:13:00,846 --> 00:13:02,177
Come on, guy.

232
00:13:06,051 --> 00:13:09,509
Damn it! This is worse than being
Kevin Federline's magic mirror.

233
00:13:10,990 --> 00:13:14,050
Magic mirror,
how can I look like a douchebag today?

234
00:13:14,160 --> 00:13:17,288
Well, Kevin, I would say, first of all,
don't shave or shower.

235
00:13:17,396 --> 00:13:18,385
Okay, I won't.

236
00:13:18,497 --> 00:13:20,761
- And you just got out of bed, right?
- Yeah.

237
00:13:20,866 --> 00:13:23,733
I would say, just go ahead
and wear that tank top all day.

238
00:13:23,936 --> 00:13:25,062
Okay.

239
00:13:25,171 --> 00:13:28,265
All right, so we covered the hygiene,
no collared shirts.

240
00:13:28,707 --> 00:13:32,074
Oh, and don't forget to walk around with
an undeserved sense of accomplishment.

241
00:13:36,115 --> 00:13:40,017
Chris, the festival of the harvest is
the time of celebration for my people.

242
00:13:40,152 --> 00:13:41,881
- Would you like to dance?
- Sure!

243
00:13:41,987 --> 00:13:44,478
No one's ever asked me to dance before.

244
00:13:45,291 --> 00:13:47,350
I wanna jitterbug

245
00:13:48,727 --> 00:13:50,251
Jitterbug

246
00:13:51,030 --> 00:13:53,999
You Put the boom-boom into my heart

247
00:13:54,099 --> 00:13:57,557
You send my soul sky high
when your lovin' starts

248
00:13:57,670 --> 00:14:00,002
Jitterbug into my brain

249
00:14:00,339 --> 00:14:03,536
Goes a bang-bang-bang
till my feet do the same

250
00:14:03,642 --> 00:14:06,736
Wake me uP before you go-go

251
00:14:06,846 --> 00:14:09,644
Don't leave me hanging on like a yo-yo

252
00:14:09,748 --> 00:14:13,115
Wake me uP before you go-go

253
00:14:13,352 --> 00:14:16,617
And take me dancing tonight

254
00:14:18,924 --> 00:14:22,451
This is a joyous occasion.
You've engaged the entire tribe in dance.

255
00:14:22,561 --> 00:14:25,724
According to our customs,
you're now married to my daughter.

256
00:14:25,831 --> 00:14:26,923
I couldn't be happier.

257
00:14:27,032 --> 00:14:31,969
Well, if you're happy then I'm happy,
because after all... What?

258
00:14:34,540 --> 00:14:35,632
My job sucks.

259
00:14:35,741 --> 00:14:38,710
I'm tired of always scrounging around
on the bottom rung of society...

260
00:14:39,078 --> 00:14:40,636
getting kicked around by the Man.

261
00:14:40,746 --> 00:14:43,374
Like when I worked in that lab
with Dr. Bunsen Honeydew.

262
00:14:47,720 --> 00:14:48,812
Agreed, Peter.

263
00:14:50,055 --> 00:14:52,114
We got a letter from Chris!

264
00:14:52,458 --> 00:14:56,394
Okay, he says he's doing great,
having a wonderful time.

265
00:14:56,562 --> 00:15:00,623
He met a girl. He got married?

266
00:15:01,400 --> 00:15:03,368
He says he's not coming back.

267
00:15:14,246 --> 00:15:17,511
We'll be landing in South America shortly.
Please buckle your seat belts.

268
00:15:17,616 --> 00:15:20,642
Hey, Brenda,
what've you got for me? Coffee?

269
00:15:21,120 --> 00:15:23,782
Damn, your ass looks hot. Is this thing on?

270
00:15:24,156 --> 00:15:25,646
I don't care. I want them to hear.

271
00:15:25,758 --> 00:15:27,658
Oh, Chris, my baby.

272
00:15:27,760 --> 00:15:30,490
I told you, Peter. I never should
have let him out of my stomach.

273
00:15:30,596 --> 00:15:32,257
I can't believe Chris got married.

274
00:15:32,564 --> 00:15:34,498
This is bigger news than
when I toured Europe...

275
00:15:34,600 --> 00:15:36,761
with that musical rendition
of My Left Foot.

276
00:15:37,002 --> 00:15:38,993
My left foot

277
00:15:39,104 --> 00:15:42,164
Always been better than
the right one

278
00:15:45,044 --> 00:15:47,103
My left foot

279
00:15:47,212 --> 00:15:50,670
Always gets me where I need to go

280
00:15:56,355 --> 00:15:57,913
I'll start out easy.

281
00:16:00,693 --> 00:16:01,955
Little more complex.

282
00:16:12,371 --> 00:16:16,307
- Oh, Chris, my baby!
- Hi, Mom and Dad.

283
00:16:17,009 --> 00:16:20,410
Everybody, this is my wife, Loka.
We're married.

284
00:16:21,647 --> 00:16:26,084
Well, maybe here, but not in America,
where God pays attention.

285
00:16:26,185 --> 00:16:28,517
Now, get your things together.
We're leaving right now.

286
00:16:28,620 --> 00:16:32,215
Mom, I'm not going anywhere.
I'm happy here.

287
00:16:32,324 --> 00:16:33,416
This is my home.

288
00:16:33,525 --> 00:16:36,824
You guys got an ATM?
I only got $37 on me.

289
00:16:39,898 --> 00:16:40,956
What's the matter with them?

290
00:16:41,066 --> 00:16:43,057
We've never seen
that much money before.

291
00:16:43,168 --> 00:16:46,865
- You are richest man in the country.
- Richest man in the country?

292
00:16:47,039 --> 00:16:50,873
Wow, no Griffin's been this powerful
since my ancestor King Arthur Griffin.

293
00:16:51,443 --> 00:16:54,810
Arthur, if you are able to draw
the sword from the stone...

294
00:16:55,014 --> 00:16:58,245
and prove to me you truly are
the sole king of Camelot...

295
00:16:58,350 --> 00:17:01,183
I will make love to you right here
in the clearing.

296
00:17:01,286 --> 00:17:03,254
What if I can just move it an inch,
will you touch me?

297
00:17:06,525 --> 00:17:10,188
This is amazing. You've got the biggest
hut in the village and all these servants...

298
00:17:10,295 --> 00:17:11,728
and you've only spent $1.50.

299
00:17:11,830 --> 00:17:13,821
That's a hell of a lot less than I had
to spend...

300
00:17:13,932 --> 00:17:16,423
to go see that piece-of-crap remake
of Bewitched.

301
00:17:16,869 --> 00:17:20,202
- Guess what? I'm a witch.
- Guess what? I'm a Clippers fan.

302
00:17:44,263 --> 00:17:48,199
All ticketed Passengers
for Flight 2378 to Reno, Nevada...

303
00:18:29,508 --> 00:18:31,840
- Hello.
- That's not funny!

304
00:18:34,546 --> 00:18:37,481
Peter, this is ridiculous.
We came here to take Chris home.

305
00:18:37,583 --> 00:18:38,743
Why are we staying?

306
00:18:38,851 --> 00:18:41,012
Because I'm tired of being treated like crap
at work.

307
00:18:41,120 --> 00:18:43,918
Don't you see what this means to me?
I'm somebody here.

308
00:18:44,123 --> 00:18:47,559
Finally, a white man has an opportunity
to be rich and in charge.

309
00:18:47,826 --> 00:18:50,192
Hey, Pesci, here's a nickel. Say Yugoslavia.

310
00:18:50,329 --> 00:18:51,728
Yugoslavia.

311
00:18:53,132 --> 00:18:54,759
Here's a dime. Kill Pesci.

312
00:18:55,067 --> 00:18:57,661
The native man
is an imPressive Physical sPecimen.

313
00:18:57,803 --> 00:19:01,398
Look closely at his sinewy muscular form
and unusual vitality.

314
00:19:01,740 --> 00:19:06,609
It is a thrill to watch him dig a ditch or
lift a jug of water or ParticiPate in a hunt.

315
00:19:06,712 --> 00:19:08,304
Cut. Print. Gay.

316
00:19:11,650 --> 00:19:12,742
What's going on?

317
00:19:12,851 --> 00:19:16,378
Peter paid the villagers to reenact
the "Contest" episode of Seinfeld.

318
00:19:16,588 --> 00:19:17,987
- I am out.
- Huh?

319
00:19:18,190 --> 00:19:20,784
I am out. I have pleasured myself.

320
00:19:25,230 --> 00:19:28,961
Dad, I've had enough of you
taking advantage of these people.

321
00:19:29,201 --> 00:19:32,659
For God's sake, the woman playing Elaine
is a high priestess.

322
00:19:32,971 --> 00:19:35,496
You can't spare one square?

323
00:19:36,041 --> 00:19:39,408
I don't have to take that from you.
I'm the richest guy in town.

324
00:19:40,212 --> 00:19:42,908
Dad, don't you see?
This is a wonderful place...

325
00:19:43,015 --> 00:19:46,109
and you're just using it to escape
from your problems at home.

326
00:19:46,218 --> 00:19:47,515
What do you mean? Meg's right there.

327
00:19:47,619 --> 00:19:50,383
But Chris, honey,
aren't you doing the same thing?

328
00:19:50,489 --> 00:19:51,456
What do you mean?

329
00:19:51,557 --> 00:19:54,924
I mean, you just came here because
you were being picked on at school.

330
00:19:55,093 --> 00:19:57,789
You're using these people
to escape your problems.

331
00:19:57,896 --> 00:19:59,830
Oh, my God. You're right.

332
00:19:59,932 --> 00:20:03,561
I married this 11-year-old girl
for all the wrong reasons.

333
00:20:03,735 --> 00:20:05,066
I'm sorry, Loka.

334
00:20:05,170 --> 00:20:08,765
I guess I just came here because
I was afraid of being a freshman.

335
00:20:08,974 --> 00:20:09,941
Freshman?

336
00:20:10,342 --> 00:20:12,833
Freshman!

337
00:20:16,148 --> 00:20:19,379
I guess you can't run away
from your problems anywhere.

338
00:20:34,700 --> 00:20:37,760
Jock! Start the engine! Get the plane up!

339
00:21:06,365 --> 00:21:07,923
Peter, I think we forgot Meg.

