1
00:00:02,880 --> 00:00:05,760
I got the whole day planned.
First, we see the primates.

2
00:00:06,007 --> 00:00:08,287
Then the butterfly house, bathroom break...

3
00:00:08,509 --> 00:00:11,909
Can't we all just run around
in a disorganised fashion?

4
00:00:12,137 --> 00:00:14,657
- Yeah!
- Monkeys throw their poo!

5
00:00:14,848 --> 00:00:17,768
If we don't adhere to a schedule,
we won't see everything.

6
00:00:17,975 --> 00:00:21,575
Kids, gas masks. Run!

7
00:00:27,357 --> 00:00:30,757
There you are.
Oh, don't be such a pig, Mr Pig.

8
00:00:31,027 --> 00:00:35,507
Now, where's Mr Sheep?
Is he being baa-shful?

9
00:00:36,740 --> 00:00:38,940
That's right. You're all ripe for parody.

10
00:00:39,158 --> 00:00:42,038
- Can we go now?
- Shut up! I'm having fun.

11
00:00:43,745 --> 00:00:48,145
Oh, my, someone's awfully rude.
Oh! My fanny is not on the menu! What?

12
00:00:48,416 --> 00:00:53,536
What the...? Agh! Agh!
Oh, God! Oh, God! Agh! Agh!

13
00:00:57,714 --> 00:01:00,714
Here, little fella. Come get the food.

14
00:01:00,925 --> 00:01:03,325
I have always wanted to do this.

15
00:01:03,552 --> 00:01:08,032
Oh, here are the marsupials.
Peter, what the hell are you doing?!

16
00:01:08,348 --> 00:01:11,748
Look at me, Lois, I'm Roo. Come on, Ma.

17
00:01:11,976 --> 00:01:16,696
Let's go watch Pooh trick the bees out of
their honey by pretending he's a rain cloud.

18
00:01:18,147 --> 00:01:22,547
I am going to kick your ass.

19
00:01:22,817 --> 00:01:26,417
"It seems today that all you see

20
00:01:26,695 --> 00:01:29,775
"Is violence in movies and sex on TV

21
00:01:30,031 --> 00:01:33,431
"But where are those
good old-fashioned values

22
00:01:33,659 --> 00:01:36,179
"On which we used to rely?

23
00:01:36,370 --> 00:01:39,570
"Lucky there's a family guy

24
00:01:39,831 --> 00:01:44,711
"Lucky there's a man who positively
can do all the things that make us

25
00:01:45,043 --> 00:01:46,643
"Laugh and cry

26
00:01:46,794 --> 00:01:51,714
"He's a family guy

27
00:02:07,144 --> 00:02:09,424
- How's it going?
- Great. Beautiful day.

28
00:02:09,646 --> 00:02:15,446
Gorgeous. We sit here and force small talk
while they have the time of their lives.

29
00:02:15,775 --> 00:02:17,575
Yeah. Yeah.

30
00:02:22,364 --> 00:02:25,364
Here, girl.

31
00:02:32,163 --> 00:02:36,843
Sorry. I... I thought I smelled... cookies.

32
00:02:37,167 --> 00:02:41,647
Wow. Does it really smell like cook...?
God! She farted and it went down my throat!

33
00:02:44,131 --> 00:02:48,251
- Full house.
- That's some poker face you've got, Peter.

34
00:02:48,509 --> 00:02:51,429
- Years of practice, boys.
- Peter, you're on a roll.

35
00:02:51,637 --> 00:02:53,957
We ought to get you down to Atlantic City.

36
00:02:54,139 --> 00:02:57,459
Sorry, guys. Lois is making me
visit the in-laws this weekend.

37
00:02:57,683 --> 00:03:01,083
Why does she bother? Me and Lois's
old man have never gotten along.

38
00:03:01,353 --> 00:03:04,433
Hey, I got an email from Mr Pewterschmidt.

39
00:03:04,689 --> 00:03:07,889
You should find some common ground
with your father-in-law.

40
00:03:08,108 --> 00:03:10,428
Figure out what he likes and study up on it.

41
00:03:10,610 --> 00:03:15,610
That's a great idea. I'll learn how to act
like a rich guy. I'm gonna start right now.

42
00:03:15,822 --> 00:03:19,222
- You're working through Christmas!
- But, sir, what of Tiny Tim?

43
00:03:19,492 --> 00:03:22,092
Bah! He and his ukulele shall go wanting.

44
00:03:25,330 --> 00:03:28,810
The New Yorker. I bet Lois's dad reads this.

45
00:03:28,958 --> 00:03:32,958
"I'd be more apathetic
if I weren't so lethargic. "

46
00:03:44,178 --> 00:03:49,098
Oh, I get it. That's kind of funny.
Yeah, can I have a copy of Jugs?

47
00:03:51,392 --> 00:03:54,872
In French, when you want
to say "yes", you say "oui, oui".

48
00:03:55,020 --> 00:04:00,820
You gotta be kidding me!
Oh, my God! That is hysterical!

49
00:04:01,191 --> 00:04:05,071
Oh, man! And what do you say
for no? "Doo-doo"?

50
00:04:05,236 --> 00:04:08,036
I'll be right back.
I gotta go take a wicked "yes".

51
00:04:17,037 --> 00:04:20,517
- Ohh.
- It's a person.

52
00:04:22,541 --> 00:04:25,461
- Would you fix the bathroom faucet?
- I fixed it already.

53
00:04:25,669 --> 00:04:30,269
- No, you didn't. It's still dripping.
- I'll give you all my Star Wars cards if it is.

54
00:04:30,464 --> 00:04:34,864
Wait, wait. Except Boba Fett. No matter
how sure I am, I never risk the Fett man.

55
00:04:37,344 --> 00:04:39,464
Oh, my God!

56
00:04:41,514 --> 00:04:43,834
- Was he just mastur...?
- Yes.

57
00:04:44,016 --> 00:04:48,336
- Oh, my.
- Do we... do we rub his nose in it?

58
00:04:52,148 --> 00:04:56,748
- Oh, hi, Brian.
- Listen, Lois, about yesterday...

59
00:04:56,943 --> 00:05:00,663
It's nothing to be embarrassed about.
It's perfectly normal.

60
00:05:00,904 --> 00:05:04,624
I know. It's just, I should be able
to control my baser instincts,

61
00:05:04,866 --> 00:05:07,866
but lately I've just been having these urges.

62
00:05:08,118 --> 00:05:11,998
Why don't you come to my parents' house?
The fresh air will help you relax.

63
00:05:12,288 --> 00:05:14,968
Mm, I know where I go when I want to relax.

64
00:05:16,333 --> 00:05:20,453
- I know the guy that owns this place!
- What?!

65
00:05:20,712 --> 00:05:25,632
I said, I know the guy that...
Oh, I'll tell you later. I love this song.

66
00:05:29,885 --> 00:05:33,485
Thanks, but I think a quiet weekend
by myself is just the thing I need.

67
00:05:33,638 --> 00:05:36,238
Well, have a good time.

68
00:05:37,308 --> 00:05:40,308
I'm gonna relax, mellow out,
and watch some television.

69
00:05:40,519 --> 00:05:45,239
We now return to
"World's Sluttiest Dogs" on Fox.

70
00:05:46,357 --> 00:05:49,157
Hey, wait up!

71
00:05:49,401 --> 00:05:52,681
Right into the bumper.

72
00:05:58,658 --> 00:06:01,458
- Hi, Mom.
- Oh, look at you all.

73
00:06:01,702 --> 00:06:05,902
I know someone who's getting a gift
certificate for liposuction in her stocking.

74
00:06:06,164 --> 00:06:07,964
- Thank you.
- Hello, everyone.

75
00:06:08,165 --> 00:06:11,445
- Hi, Daddy.
- Bonjour, Monsieur Pewterschmidt.

76
00:06:11,585 --> 00:06:16,505
- Did Peter have a stroke?
- He's cultured himself, like Pretty Woman.

77
00:06:16,797 --> 00:06:20,197
Oh, so I should treat him
like a high-class whore.

78
00:06:21,801 --> 00:06:24,121
That's fine. Just no kissing on the lips.

79
00:06:24,303 --> 00:06:28,823
- Would you like a piece of candy?
- I smell death on you.

80
00:06:31,392 --> 00:06:34,792
Ahoy, Mr Pewterschmidt.
Permission to come aboard?

81
00:06:35,061 --> 00:06:38,341
- No!
- Thanks. Quite a schooner you got here.

82
00:06:38,606 --> 00:06:42,406
- What is she? A 45-footer?
- Peter, I didn't know you were a sailor.

83
00:06:42,651 --> 00:06:45,451
I didn't know you looked
so good in shorts.

84
00:06:45,695 --> 00:06:48,095
- What?
- You don't have an eye spliced in this line.

85
00:06:48,280 --> 00:06:51,600
I'll tie a bowline in there and make one.
That should hold her.

86
00:06:55,786 --> 00:06:59,786
- And this is a '74 Pinot Noir.
- Mmm, lovely.

87
00:07:00,081 --> 00:07:04,081
Carter, did you tell your son-in-law
he's not supposed to swallow the wine?

88
00:07:04,334 --> 00:07:06,934
Hey, where the hell is that Peter Griffin?

89
00:07:07,170 --> 00:07:11,570
He said he'd give me a hundred dollars
if I took off all my clothes off.

90
00:07:14,759 --> 00:07:17,279
Thanks for bringing me.
This is just what I needed.

91
00:07:17,469 --> 00:07:20,669
I'm glad. It seems like
everybody's having a lot of fun.

92
00:07:20,930 --> 00:07:25,130
- How long are you and your family in...?
- Uh-uh-uh-uh. No conversation.

93
00:07:25,392 --> 00:07:28,392
You idiot! I'm never taking you
to my country club again!

94
00:07:28,645 --> 00:07:31,445
- I'm sorry, Mr Pewterschmidt.
- Your husband is a moron!

95
00:07:31,647 --> 00:07:37,167
He walks up to the premier of China
and says "Dong, where is my automobile?"

96
00:07:37,485 --> 00:07:40,885
I tried to fit in with your dad's crowd,
but it's worse than before.

97
00:07:41,155 --> 00:07:43,835
This sucks worse than that time
I was on Survivor.

98
00:07:44,074 --> 00:07:47,754
How dare you wash your clothes
in our drinking water, Bebe?

99
00:07:47,910 --> 00:07:52,510
Now how are we gonna survive
in this harsh, unforgiving terrain?

100
00:07:52,705 --> 00:07:55,225
Make sure the wheel goes all the way around.

101
00:07:55,416 --> 00:07:59,816
Oh, no. Head-hunters. Am I fired?

102
00:08:00,545 --> 00:08:03,545
Peter's been trying really hard
to get you to like him.

103
00:08:03,756 --> 00:08:07,076
Give him another chance?
Let him join your poker game?

104
00:08:07,300 --> 00:08:11,500
I'd rather be stuck in an elevator
with Nathan Lane, Gilbert Gottfried,

105
00:08:11,804 --> 00:08:16,404
Carrot Top, uh... Sean Hayes...
Oh, you get the picture.

106
00:08:16,682 --> 00:08:18,202
- Please?
- No!

107
00:08:18,350 --> 00:08:22,470
OK. You know, maybe later
I'll take Mom by the shoeshine place

108
00:08:22,729 --> 00:08:26,249
and introduce her to that mulatto boy
who looks a lot like...

109
00:08:26,482 --> 00:08:29,282
- Would Peter like to play poker with us?
- He'd love to.

110
00:08:29,526 --> 00:08:30,806
That sounds dynamite.

111
00:08:35,864 --> 00:08:39,184
Brian, come here and meet Sea Breeze,
my prize-winning dog.

112
00:08:39,408 --> 00:08:43,808
Isn't she a perfect specimen?
Look at these legs and that beautiful coat.

113
00:08:44,120 --> 00:08:47,800
Feel the heat coming off of her genitalia.
You could roast a marshmallow.

114
00:08:48,082 --> 00:08:52,162
That's how you can tell she's a champion.
Go on. Put your hand there.

115
00:08:52,460 --> 00:08:54,540
- Oh... That is...
- Is that something?

116
00:08:54,754 --> 00:08:57,154
That is something. That is... that is hot.

117
00:08:57,339 --> 00:08:59,459
Isn't she the most beautiful dog?

118
00:08:59,633 --> 00:09:05,033
Yes. Yes, she is a beautiful dog.
And that's OK.

119
00:09:06,721 --> 00:09:09,641
This is Peter.
He's the idiot my daughter married.

120
00:09:09,849 --> 00:09:11,649
- Michael Eisner.
- Bill Gates.

121
00:09:11,850 --> 00:09:15,330
Peter's an anti-trust lawyer
with the Justice Department.

122
00:09:15,603 --> 00:09:18,483
Just kidding. He's a fisherman
or some stupid thing.

123
00:09:18,731 --> 00:09:21,611
- Hey, fellas.
- Wow! Ted Turner!

124
00:09:21,733 --> 00:09:24,653
- I told you not to invite him.
- He must have followed us.

125
00:09:24,861 --> 00:09:27,461
Come on, ladies. Are we gonna play cards?

126
00:09:27,696 --> 00:09:30,776
- Peter, why don't you deal?
- We're playing Texas Hold 'Em.

127
00:09:31,032 --> 00:09:33,632
- Are aces high or low?
- They go both ways.

128
00:09:33,826 --> 00:09:35,946
He said "They go both ways. "

129
00:09:37,912 --> 00:09:41,592
- Like a bisexual.
- Thank you, Ted. That was the joke.

130
00:09:43,959 --> 00:09:47,959
- I see your bet, and I raise you CNN.
- Oh, I don't think I can...

131
00:09:48,212 --> 00:09:51,212
You can beat him, Mr Pewterschmidt.
He's bluffing.

132
00:09:51,465 --> 00:09:53,745
He bet CNN. There's no way he's bluffing.

133
00:09:53,967 --> 00:09:58,367
I'm sure he is. He's got a tell. If you
lose this hand, I'll divorce your daughter.

134
00:09:58,637 --> 00:10:02,437
I'm in. All right, Teddy. I'll see your CNN
with US Steel. What have you got?

135
00:10:02,723 --> 00:10:04,723
- Two pair.
- Ace-high straight.

136
00:10:04,892 --> 00:10:08,292
You sold me out. I could use a man
like you. How's a million a year?

137
00:10:08,561 --> 00:10:10,961
You disgust me! Get out of my face!

138
00:10:12,731 --> 00:10:15,411
That's the first time
any of us have beaten Ted.

139
00:10:15,650 --> 00:10:19,250
- How'd you know he was bluffing?
- When he lies, he blinks twice.

140
00:10:19,487 --> 00:10:23,807
I noticed it when he did an interview
and said he'd be with Jane Fonda for ever.

141
00:10:24,073 --> 00:10:25,193
I'm gonna turn in.

142
00:10:25,324 --> 00:10:29,844
Me too. I gotta be at Disneyland. We're
ethnically cleansing the Small World ride.

143
00:10:30,120 --> 00:10:32,120
You guys practically run this country.

144
00:10:32,330 --> 00:10:35,610
There's gotta be a ton
of fun stuff we could do.

145
00:10:40,545 --> 00:10:44,265
Oh, man, there's a toll booth.
Anybody got a quarter?

146
00:10:44,506 --> 00:10:48,906
- What's a quarter?
- Well, we gotta give him something.

147
00:10:54,097 --> 00:10:58,017
Man. Looking up at the sky
just makes you feel so small.

148
00:10:58,267 --> 00:11:02,387
Yeah. I mean, if God created
all this, who created God?

149
00:11:02,645 --> 00:11:06,045
- Maybe he created himself.
- Or herself.

150
00:11:06,190 --> 00:11:08,190
- Ohh...
- Think about that.

151
00:11:08,400 --> 00:11:11,000
Neat. This guy's deep. Where'd you find him?

152
00:11:11,194 --> 00:11:14,594
He's my son-in-law.

153
00:11:14,738 --> 00:11:17,858
- OK, honey. I gotta go. You want a ride?
- Sure.

154
00:11:25,705 --> 00:11:29,505
- Wow.
- I actually had a good time with you tonight.

155
00:11:29,750 --> 00:11:33,550
And I just want to say...
I'm glad you married my daughter.

156
00:11:33,836 --> 00:11:36,916
- Thank you, Jesus.
- Actually, it wasn't me, it was...

157
00:11:37,172 --> 00:11:39,852
No, no, it's OK. I'm used to it.

158
00:11:43,636 --> 00:11:48,116
- Having fun, Peter?
- I put all my poker winnings on your dog.

159
00:11:48,431 --> 00:11:51,031
Dog?

160
00:11:51,225 --> 00:11:53,825
Nothing to worry about.
Sea Breeze is a sure thing.

161
00:11:54,060 --> 00:11:58,260
- Sea Breeze?
- Dad, where are the jockeys?

162
00:11:58,522 --> 00:12:01,642
They're all in the laundry.
I'm going Indian today.

163
00:12:05,403 --> 00:12:08,323
- Oh, come on, Sea Breeze!
- Sea Breeze! Yeah!

164
00:12:08,530 --> 00:12:11,250
- Come on! Go! Go!
- Come on!

165
00:12:13,534 --> 00:12:16,054
What's Brian doing?

166
00:12:19,080 --> 00:12:22,160
- Oh, my God.
- He's violating Sea Breeze.

167
00:12:22,416 --> 00:12:26,296
No, he's awkwardly positioning himself...
Now he's violating Sea Breeze.

168
00:12:36,886 --> 00:12:41,486
Again, I want to tell you how sorry I am
about this. I don't know what came over me.

169
00:12:41,806 --> 00:12:44,206
You had better not have ruined my race dog.

170
00:12:44,391 --> 00:12:46,391
I am very disappointed in you!

171
00:12:46,601 --> 00:12:49,801
I'd turn my back, but I've seen
what you do in that situation.

172
00:12:50,021 --> 00:12:53,141
Now, Carter and I have
a polio match to attend.

173
00:12:53,357 --> 00:12:57,477
Get away from me! You and that filthy
mongrel of yours! How is she, Doctor?

174
00:12:57,735 --> 00:13:00,455
She's fine. Sea Breeze
will be able to race again.

175
00:13:00,654 --> 00:13:04,374
But, unfortunately, not for
another nine weeks. She's pregnant.

176
00:13:05,450 --> 00:13:08,970
I just want you to know I am
going to do the right thing here.

177
00:13:09,202 --> 00:13:12,122
You're never going to see Sea Breeze again!

178
00:13:12,330 --> 00:13:15,850
- Pack your things and get out!
- I am never speaking to you again.

179
00:13:16,083 --> 00:13:18,403
Don't worry. I have a plan.

180
00:13:18,585 --> 00:13:22,905
I am gonna go back in time and stop
Brian from getting it on with your dog.

181
00:13:23,172 --> 00:13:25,172
Everybody stand back.

182
00:13:25,382 --> 00:13:28,382
Aah!

183
00:13:29,635 --> 00:13:35,035
Oh... Oh... Oh, boy... Oh... Oh...
Oh, God. Agh. Agh.

184
00:13:36,641 --> 00:13:39,321
Mr Pewterschmidt,
please can we still be pals?

185
00:13:39,434 --> 00:13:42,754
See. I made a picture of you and me
out of glue and macaroni.

186
00:13:42,979 --> 00:13:45,299
That means a lot to me because you made it.

187
00:13:45,481 --> 00:13:46,801
- Really?
- No! Get out!

188
00:13:46,940 --> 00:13:49,540
- Mr Pewterschmidt, Sea Breeze is gone!
- What?

189
00:13:49,776 --> 00:13:50,976
I can't find Brian.

190
00:13:51,110 --> 00:13:55,830
Peter, do you know what I'm going to do
to you if Brian took off with my Sea Breeze?

191
00:13:56,114 --> 00:13:58,234
I think I have an idea.

192
00:14:06,956 --> 00:14:10,356
This is the room. The light switch
is here. It's mostly for show.

193
00:14:10,625 --> 00:14:14,625
There's your Murphy Bed. Don't mind
the Epsteins. They keep to themselves.

194
00:14:14,879 --> 00:14:18,799
We're going to see Bobby Darin
at the Copa tomorrow, right, Charlie?

195
00:14:19,049 --> 00:14:20,569
Bobby Darin, tomorrow.

196
00:14:20,717 --> 00:14:23,837
This is the bathroom.
Watch out, we got some bad roaches.

197
00:14:24,053 --> 00:14:26,653
- You're on our turf, man.
- Man, I'll cut you.

198
00:14:26,763 --> 00:14:30,963
I'll cut you up so bad
you gonna wish I no cut you up so bad.

199
00:14:31,141 --> 00:14:33,661
- Those are bad roaches.
- I blame the schools.

200
00:14:37,938 --> 00:14:40,418
- Were you followed?
- Don't worry. I've got a decoy.

201
00:14:41,566 --> 00:14:44,966
Hey, Lois. Hubba-hubba.
Whoa, Lois, you put on a few, huh?

202
00:14:45,236 --> 00:14:47,236
Well, I never!

203
00:14:47,404 --> 00:14:51,124
That's all right, I don't think he was the one.
Let's go get sundaes.

204
00:14:51,366 --> 00:14:55,086
We all really miss you.
And Peter talks about you all the time.

205
00:14:55,327 --> 00:14:57,327
- Oh, really? Anything nice?
- No.

206
00:14:57,537 --> 00:14:59,737
Oh, so he's still mad, huh?

207
00:14:59,914 --> 00:15:04,034
I should go. Take this. It's probably
not a good idea for us to meet any more.

208
00:15:04,292 --> 00:15:06,892
Daddy swore he'd track you down
any way he could.

209
00:15:12,549 --> 00:15:14,549
- Bingo!
- I told you she'd lead us to him.

210
00:15:14,717 --> 00:15:17,517
- Let's call Pewterschmidt.
- Let's take the jet packs.

211
00:15:17,761 --> 00:15:19,761
Cool!

212
00:15:20,764 --> 00:15:23,284
Man, the people look like ants from up here.

213
00:15:23,474 --> 00:15:26,874
They are ants, Michael. They are ants.

214
00:15:29,520 --> 00:15:32,920
This is Tricia Takanawa live
where police have discovered

215
00:15:33,190 --> 00:15:36,990
the whereabouts of Sea Breeze,
the heiress to the Pewterschmidt fortune.

216
00:15:37,235 --> 00:15:40,755
The dognapper has been traced
to this sleazy motel.

217
00:15:40,988 --> 00:15:44,988
Ah, I see my colleague Tom Tucker
is already on the scene.

218
00:15:45,158 --> 00:15:47,878
Who's that, baby?

219
00:15:48,077 --> 00:15:51,877
Hello, this is Tom Tucker's
evil twin Todd Tucker

220
00:15:52,163 --> 00:15:54,643
out to destroy his brother's reputation.

221
00:15:54,874 --> 00:15:56,354
Ha-ha-ha.

222
00:15:56,541 --> 00:16:01,141
I'm going inside to have freaky sex with my
prostitute with whom I still have 45 minutes.

223
00:16:01,420 --> 00:16:02,940
Back to this breaking news.

224
00:16:13,930 --> 00:16:15,930
Brian, please eat something.

225
00:16:16,140 --> 00:16:21,740
My face is on the news. Your father won't
let me see the dog carrying my puppies.

226
00:16:22,061 --> 00:16:24,661
And he's going to incredible lengths
to ignore me.

227
00:16:24,897 --> 00:16:28,497
Brian, don't let him get to you.
Peter, come out of that thing!

228
00:16:28,733 --> 00:16:33,253
He can't hear you. Besides, it's not him
that's getting to me, it's your father.

229
00:16:33,529 --> 00:16:37,529
I'm sorry. I talked to him, but he
wouldn't budge. He can be so stubborn.

230
00:16:37,824 --> 00:16:42,304
I don't know how my mother puts up with it.
He did promise to take care of the puppies.

231
00:16:42,619 --> 00:16:46,699
They're not his to take care of. They're
my kids, and I'm gonna get 'em back.

232
00:16:46,998 --> 00:16:49,878
My father wasn't there for me,
but I'll be there for my kids!

233
00:16:50,125 --> 00:16:53,405
I'm gonna sue your dad for custody!

234
00:17:00,216 --> 00:17:04,136
Please stop this. Brian has every right
to see his puppies when they're born.

235
00:17:04,386 --> 00:17:05,586
Sorry, pumpkin.

236
00:17:05,762 --> 00:17:09,162
I had no idea you could be so cruel.
I'll never forgive you for this!

237
00:17:09,390 --> 00:17:13,110
- You're just having your period.
- This court will now come to order.

238
00:17:13,351 --> 00:17:17,471
- Brian, do you like children?
- I love children. That's why I'm here.

239
00:17:17,730 --> 00:17:20,050
I want the opportunity to raise my puppies.

240
00:17:20,232 --> 00:17:24,952
Do you remember an incident at a South
Attleboro Denny's in December of 1996?

241
00:17:25,236 --> 00:17:26,556
Yeah, I guess.

242
00:17:34,618 --> 00:17:39,818
Waa! Waa! You like that, huh?!
You like that?! Waa!

243
00:17:40,039 --> 00:17:45,639
You just tune this out, don't you?!
Waa! Well, tune this out! Waa!

244
00:17:47,461 --> 00:17:49,141
- Aah...
- Waa!

245
00:17:49,338 --> 00:17:51,338
- Aah...
- Waa!

246
00:17:51,506 --> 00:17:52,506
- Aah...
- Shut up!

247
00:17:52,674 --> 00:17:55,954
I was angry because my Moon Over
My Hammy was overcooked and...

248
00:17:56,218 --> 00:17:59,218
I also have your rental records
from the Quahog Video Store.

249
00:17:59,429 --> 00:18:03,349
- Can you read the last two titles?
- Son In Law and Bio-Dome.

250
00:18:03,599 --> 00:18:06,319
- And who's the star of those films?
- Pauly Shore.

251
00:18:06,518 --> 00:18:08,518
Pauly Shore!

252
00:18:08,728 --> 00:18:10,608
He's terrible.

253
00:18:10,813 --> 00:18:15,013
I rented those for Peter. He got banned
from the store for taping over movies.

254
00:18:18,319 --> 00:18:20,399
Rosebud.

255
00:18:21,655 --> 00:18:24,935
It's his sled. It was his sled
from when he was a kid.

256
00:18:25,199 --> 00:18:28,079
There, I just saved you
two long boobless hours.

257
00:18:28,327 --> 00:18:30,927
How convenient. Blame it on someone else.

258
00:18:31,121 --> 00:18:33,641
Is that the man we want
raising these puppies?

259
00:18:33,831 --> 00:18:37,151
Peter? Oh, you've gotta
believe me, Your Honour.

260
00:18:37,375 --> 00:18:40,375
Peter, I'm putting together
another card game. You in?

261
00:18:40,628 --> 00:18:43,108
- You... you want me to play?
- Absolutely.

262
00:18:43,338 --> 00:18:46,938
But first I want you to testify
against that horny mutt of yours.

263
00:18:47,175 --> 00:18:49,095
Oh, I don't know if I can do that.

264
00:18:49,260 --> 00:18:52,660
That's too bad, because Bill and Michael
want to see you again.

265
00:18:52,929 --> 00:18:55,929
Bill's going to bring his Stretch Armstrong.

266
00:18:56,140 --> 00:18:58,740
Oh, man, and his arms
stretch out to next week!

267
00:18:58,976 --> 00:19:02,976
Your Honour, Peter Griffin
would like to take the stand.

268
00:19:04,271 --> 00:19:08,471
Mr Griffin, which of the following two
phrases best describes Brian Griffin?

269
00:19:08,775 --> 00:19:11,375
Problem drinker,
or African-American haberdasher?

270
00:19:11,569 --> 00:19:14,769
- I guess problem drinker, but that's...
- Thank you.

271
00:19:15,030 --> 00:19:19,630
Sexual deviant, or magic picture that if you
stare at it long enough, you see something?

272
00:19:19,909 --> 00:19:22,829
- Sexual deviant, but that one's not...
- Thank you.

273
00:19:23,036 --> 00:19:27,636
Now, isn't it true that you told my client
that Brian is a menace to society

274
00:19:27,831 --> 00:19:30,831
and should never be allowed
to see his children?

275
00:19:31,084 --> 00:19:33,884
Um... Uh...

276
00:19:39,507 --> 00:19:41,907
Brian should be allowed to see his puppies!

277
00:19:42,843 --> 00:19:47,363
- Peter, think about what you're doing.
- I am. Your Honour, Brian'll be a great dad.

278
00:19:47,639 --> 00:19:50,959
If I was half the parent he is,
I'd know Chris's favourite ice cream is...

279
00:19:51,183 --> 00:19:53,703
- Chocolate-chip.
- Stewie's favourite bedtime story is...

280
00:19:53,894 --> 00:19:55,814
- Goodnight, Moon.
- Meg's real father's name is...

281
00:19:55,978 --> 00:19:57,978
Stan Thompson.

282
00:19:59,106 --> 00:20:03,226
I've heard enough. I do believe
that Brian would be a successful parent.

283
00:20:03,484 --> 00:20:08,284
If he was to repeat his actions, he would
be setting a bad example for his puppies.

284
00:20:08,613 --> 00:20:12,613
Therefore, I grant Brian custody
with the condition that he be neutered first.

285
00:20:12,867 --> 00:20:16,067
Yeah! You did it, buddy! Oh, congratulations!

286
00:20:16,328 --> 00:20:18,528
Oh, man! What does "neutered" mean?

287
00:20:20,790 --> 00:20:25,310
You're almost there, Sea Breeze.
Oh, and also, I didn't bring this up before,

288
00:20:25,585 --> 00:20:27,705
but promise me you won't eat any of them.

289
00:20:27,878 --> 00:20:33,198
This is like a Greek tragedy where a man
chooses between himself and his children.

290
00:20:33,508 --> 00:20:37,708
Of course, you'll be playing
the role of "Sans Testiclese".

291
00:20:38,011 --> 00:20:40,691
We're ready for you down the hall.

292
00:20:40,930 --> 00:20:44,930
Sure you want to go through with this?
You could have puppies with another dog.

293
00:20:45,184 --> 00:20:48,784
And maybe with a condor!
Yeah, then you'd have flying puppies.

294
00:20:49,062 --> 00:20:51,942
Would you like that, Brian?
Huh? Flying puppies?

295
00:20:52,189 --> 00:20:54,389
No. Those puppies in there are mine.

296
00:20:54,566 --> 00:20:57,486
And I'll give anything
to be with them. Anything.

297
00:20:57,693 --> 00:21:01,613
I am not looking forward to what you're
gonna be like once they do this to you.

298
00:21:01,863 --> 00:21:06,383
Mmm. I love chocolate.

299
00:21:07,618 --> 00:21:10,898
But I can't eat it because then I'll get fat.

300
00:21:11,162 --> 00:21:14,162
But it's so good!

301
00:21:14,373 --> 00:21:16,973
- Are you ready, Brian?
- I guess so.

302
00:21:18,043 --> 00:21:20,123
Stop! Brian, come quick!

303
00:21:22,713 --> 00:21:26,633
- Oh, my God! Those aren't my puppies!
- Then whose are they?

304
00:21:30,219 --> 00:21:34,939
You! You're a whore! A filthy, filthy whore!

305
00:21:35,223 --> 00:21:37,023
You must be so relieved.

306
00:21:37,099 --> 00:21:40,699
Actually, I... I was kind of
looking forward to being a dad.

307
00:21:40,977 --> 00:21:43,377
Don't worry. There'll be other chances.

308
00:21:43,562 --> 00:21:48,562
Hey, you know what's funny?
I always thought that dogs... laid eggs.

309
00:21:48,900 --> 00:21:50,900
And I learned something today.

