1
00:00:02,294 --> 00:00:05,581
"It seems today that all you see

2
00:00:05,702 --> 00:00:08,989
"Is violence in movies and sex on TV

3
00:00:09,109 --> 00:00:12,598
"But where are those
good old-fashioned values

4
00:00:12,718 --> 00:00:15,324
"On which we used to rely?

5
00:00:15,404 --> 00:00:18,531
"Lucky there's a family guy

6
00:00:18,611 --> 00:00:23,542
"Lucky there's a man who positively
can do all the things that make us

7
00:00:23,542 --> 00:00:24,946
"Laugh and cry

8
00:00:25,027 --> 00:00:30,238
"He's a family guy

9
00:00:33,967 --> 00:00:38,056
Peter, this is ridiculous.
I know you're upset about losing your job,

10
00:00:38,176 --> 00:00:40,060
but you've sat there for two weeks.

11
00:00:40,181 --> 00:00:43,870
- I have not, Lois.
- He's right. It's actually been more like...

12
00:00:43,990 --> 00:00:47,477
- Yeah. 13 days.
- You have to do something other than eat.

13
00:00:47,598 --> 00:00:51,607
All right, all right. Brian, let's go for a walk.

14
00:01:00,508 --> 00:01:03,434
Meg, sweetheart, what's wrong?

15
00:01:03,515 --> 00:01:07,925
My life. That's what's wrong.
I was totally humiliated at school today.

16
00:01:08,045 --> 00:01:10,851
We're gonna do an informal survey here, kids.

17
00:01:10,851 --> 00:01:16,264
Would those who are going away for spring
break please move to the left of the room?

18
00:01:16,945 --> 00:01:22,879
Oigan, quienes van a spring break,
pasen a la izquierda, por favor.

19
00:01:22,879 --> 00:01:26,287
- Meg, what do those kids know?
- They know how to have a good time.

20
00:01:26,367 --> 00:01:31,098
So do we. I'll tell you what. How about you
and I have our own little spring break?

21
00:01:31,178 --> 00:01:33,905
We'll go to that fancy new spa
that just opened up.

22
00:01:33,985 --> 00:01:37,913
Massages and facials.
It'll be great. What do you say?

23
00:01:37,913 --> 00:01:42,123
I guess it couldn't be worse than last year
when we all went to Sea World.

24
00:01:46,333 --> 00:01:48,619
And how long has this been going on?!

25
00:01:51,746 --> 00:01:54,231
Lois is right. I've been out of work too long.

26
00:01:54,351 --> 00:01:57,037
I think you should find
something you enjoy doing.

27
00:01:57,157 --> 00:02:00,365
- Take those guys out there, for example.
- Where?

28
00:02:02,570 --> 00:02:06,258
Oh, yeah. Now, that's a job.
Fresh sea air, working outside.

29
00:02:06,379 --> 00:02:08,785
That's how a real New England man
makes a living.

30
00:02:08,864 --> 00:02:11,992
- That's something to think about.
- What's that, Daddy?

31
00:02:11,992 --> 00:02:15,199
That's Mercury, Jake,
the planet closest to the sun.

32
00:02:15,280 --> 00:02:18,287
What it's doing by the wharf,
we should ask a scientist...

33
00:02:18,407 --> 00:02:20,211
I'm a guy, you jackass!

34
00:02:21,493 --> 00:02:23,698
Ah, yeah, that feels good.

35
00:02:23,820 --> 00:02:26,505
Chris, don't forget to mist under his chins.

36
00:02:26,625 --> 00:02:30,114
Oh, boy, Lois. It's a real mess down there.

37
00:02:30,234 --> 00:02:33,121
I'm afraid I'm won't be able
to do this in the time I quoted.

38
00:02:33,241 --> 00:02:36,929
Chris, shut the hose off for a second.
I have an announcement.

39
00:02:37,049 --> 00:02:40,056
I am gonna drop this weight
and rejoin the workforce.

40
00:02:40,137 --> 00:02:43,064
I have decided to become
a professional fisherman.

41
00:02:43,064 --> 00:02:44,547
What? Why a fisherman?

42
00:02:44,667 --> 00:02:47,955
It makes sense. You know
how much time I've spent on the ocean.

43
00:02:48,075 --> 00:02:52,565
Wilson! What are we gonna do now?!

44
00:02:52,686 --> 00:02:57,898
- Wilson! Wilson!
- My name is Voit, dumb-ass.

45
00:02:58,378 --> 00:03:01,385
Hello, Doreen?
I'm still over at the Griffin job.

46
00:03:01,505 --> 00:03:04,994
Tell Walter I won't be able
to make it to the construction site.

47
00:03:05,114 --> 00:03:09,604
So... I don't know. Have him send
Frank or Glen or Harelip Steve.

48
00:03:09,725 --> 00:03:12,130
I know, it creeps me out, too.

49
00:03:13,934 --> 00:03:15,938
So you think I can find a boat here?

50
00:03:16,019 --> 00:03:19,026
You wouldn't believe what we
confiscate from these crooks.

51
00:03:19,146 --> 00:03:23,636
We open today's bidding with this pair
of panties confiscated from a prostitute.

52
00:03:23,757 --> 00:03:26,042
- 50 bucks!
- She had nine STD's.

53
00:03:26,764 --> 00:03:30,172
- 45 bucks.
- And when we caught her, she wet herself.

54
00:03:30,251 --> 00:03:34,983
- 50 bucks.
- Will you sell anything that's not gross?

55
00:03:35,062 --> 00:03:39,593
Please direct your attention to this photo
of a beautiful 40-foot fishing boat.

56
00:03:39,593 --> 00:03:41,999
- Oh, man, that's perfect!
- $12,000.

57
00:03:42,079 --> 00:03:45,006
- $13,000.
- $25,000.

58
00:03:45,085 --> 00:03:47,812
- Sold for $25,000.
- Yes!

59
00:03:47,812 --> 00:03:49,896
- Aw, crap!
- Thanks.

60
00:03:50,018 --> 00:03:53,706
And now the actual boat itself.
Do I have an opening bid for the boat?

61
00:03:53,826 --> 00:03:56,632
- $50,000!
- Sold for $50,000.

62
00:03:56,713 --> 00:03:59,319
Good for you, Peter.

63
00:04:01,845 --> 00:04:05,252
Congratulations.
You've bought yourself a cursed boat.

64
00:04:05,332 --> 00:04:08,139
- Cursed?
- The last captain of that vessel lost his life.

65
00:04:08,259 --> 00:04:11,146
And it weren't no accident!
His name was Salty.

66
00:04:11,266 --> 00:04:14,553
And he was devoured by Daggermouth,
the man-eating bluefish.

67
00:04:14,674 --> 00:04:16,959
You want to buy that boat?
Go ahead, take it.

68
00:04:17,080 --> 00:04:19,966
Don't expect me to fish your dead body
from an angry sea

69
00:04:20,086 --> 00:04:23,093
that gave you fair warning.

70
00:04:23,093 --> 00:04:26,581
Are you up for bids, too?
You are just precious.

71
00:04:28,506 --> 00:04:34,519
- Are you gonna miss me?
- Only until I go and buy a Hustler.

72
00:04:34,599 --> 00:04:37,726
I left you the number for the spa.
See you in a few days.

73
00:04:37,726 --> 00:04:40,734
Not if I strangle myself
with a seaweed wrap and die.

74
00:04:40,814 --> 00:04:43,220
You are dark!

75
00:04:46,227 --> 00:04:48,953
You haven't told me
how you expect to pay for that boat.

76
00:04:49,032 --> 00:04:52,160
There's got to be a hundred banks
that'll give me a loan.

77
00:04:54,164 --> 00:04:56,770
- So, you can really give me a loan?
- I sure can.

78
00:04:56,850 --> 00:05:00,379
What sets us apart from other banks
is that other banks are banks.

79
00:05:00,379 --> 00:05:05,390
- Now, I trust you have collateral.
- I got three kids.

80
00:05:05,471 --> 00:05:09,680
I'll take 'em. Just kidding.
Or maybe I'm not. Sign this.

81
00:05:09,800 --> 00:05:12,487
Here you go. Good luck!

82
00:05:15,093 --> 00:05:17,618
- What do you want on your thigh?
- I want a skull.

83
00:05:17,699 --> 00:05:21,307
OK. I can draw Kermit the Frog.
How about a nice Kermit the Frog?

84
00:05:21,427 --> 00:05:24,915
- No. I want a skull.
- OK. I'll go ahead and do Kermit the Frog.

85
00:05:26,839 --> 00:05:30,448
- Mom, this is so lame.
- Come on, Meg. Try to have fun.

86
00:05:30,528 --> 00:05:34,256
I promise after a few days you won't
remember the words "spring break".

87
00:05:34,256 --> 00:05:36,742
Hey, how about some TV?

88
00:05:36,862 --> 00:05:39,869
This is MTV
and we're rocking at spring break!

89
00:05:40,672 --> 00:05:43,878
Hey, this is VH1
and we're rocking at spring break.

90
00:05:43,878 --> 00:05:47,968
...leaving thousands injured.
For CNN, I'm Bernard Shaw,

91
00:05:48,089 --> 00:05:51,897
keeping it real and kicking ass
at spring break! Whoo!

92
00:05:53,581 --> 00:05:58,392
Here she is, boys. The S.S. More Powerful
than Superman, Batman, Spiderman

93
00:05:58,512 --> 00:06:00,597
and the Incredible Hulk Put Together.

94
00:06:00,717 --> 00:06:04,005
She's a fine vessel.
Welcome to the wharf. Name's Hennessey.

95
00:06:04,125 --> 00:06:06,812
Peter Griffin.
Friends call me Peter for short.

96
00:06:06,932 --> 00:06:12,344
I'll let you in on a secret, neighbour. The
best fishing is at latitude 42, longitude 71.

97
00:06:12,425 --> 00:06:14,549
- Keep that to yourself.
- Wow, thanks.

98
00:06:14,630 --> 00:06:17,435
I'll see you, fellas. I got some fish to catch.

99
00:06:20,442 --> 00:06:26,457
Let's see, latitude 42, longitude 71.
This is it. What the hell...?

100
00:06:27,178 --> 00:06:29,985
Papa, he killed Mordecai,
the Dancing Yiddish Clown!

101
00:06:29,985 --> 00:06:32,871
Stop crying.
You just became a man. Act like one.

102
00:06:33,593 --> 00:06:36,399
What's the big idea sending me
to that bar mitzvah?

103
00:06:36,399 --> 00:06:41,291
Cos I don't like you! We don't need any
more fishermen crowding up this wharf!

104
00:06:41,411 --> 00:06:44,898
- Fine. You want an enemy, you got one!
- Fine!

105
00:06:46,703 --> 00:06:48,828
There we are.

106
00:06:48,908 --> 00:06:51,434
Steve, you ever think
of growing a moustache?

107
00:06:56,044 --> 00:06:59,733
Nice fish you got there, Griffin.
What are you selling? Your bait?

108
00:06:59,853 --> 00:07:04,664
Nice face, Hennessey.
Yes! Me, one. You, zero.

109
00:07:04,744 --> 00:07:06,749
Hey!

110
00:07:08,954 --> 00:07:12,562
- Wow. So, how do you do it?
- Oh, you're very nice to ask.

111
00:07:12,682 --> 00:07:16,171
First, I hang the old worm out there.
They usually go for it.

112
00:07:16,291 --> 00:07:20,380
I jerk 'em around. They fight for a while.
Then they lay back and accept it.

113
00:07:20,501 --> 00:07:24,310
- How about we get together later?
- OK.

114
00:07:24,389 --> 00:07:26,795
What the hell...? Oh, dammit!

115
00:07:29,521 --> 00:07:32,528
Hey, what's going on here?

116
00:07:32,608 --> 00:07:35,335
Did you read the fine print
on this loan contract?

117
00:07:35,415 --> 00:07:39,945
If by read, you mean
imagined a naked lady, then yes.

118
00:07:40,025 --> 00:07:42,030
The bank's taking all our stuff.

119
00:07:42,150 --> 00:07:45,839
And if you don't pay them within 48 hours,
they get the house, too.

120
00:07:45,959 --> 00:07:49,046
Oh, boy! I get to go live at the bank!

121
00:07:52,975 --> 00:07:55,261
Did I ever tell you if you're on birth control

122
00:07:55,381 --> 00:07:59,270
and you take an antibiotic,
it makes it not work?

123
00:07:59,390 --> 00:08:04,401
Because no one told me.
I thought you should know.

124
00:08:04,482 --> 00:08:06,887
I don't really feel like talking right now.

125
00:08:07,007 --> 00:08:10,415
Fine. I just don't understand why we had
to leave the spa so early.

126
00:08:10,496 --> 00:08:15,226
I wanna go home and spend the next three
days in solitary confinement where I belong!

127
00:08:15,307 --> 00:08:17,311
Well, I tried.

128
00:08:30,862 --> 00:08:34,671
- What the hell are we doing here?
- This is where you wanted to be, right?

129
00:08:34,751 --> 00:08:36,675
Yeah. But not with you!

130
00:08:36,756 --> 00:08:39,161
Did you hear what happened
to that dude from UMass?

131
00:08:39,281 --> 00:08:43,091
He got so drunk he fell off
his hotel balcony! He's in a coma!

132
00:08:43,170 --> 00:08:46,699
- Oh, man! I want to party with him!
- You know it! Yeah!

133
00:08:46,699 --> 00:08:48,783
- Whoo! Whoo! Whoo!
- Yeah! Yeah!

134
00:08:49,505 --> 00:08:54,316
- Hey, look. Meg made it, you guys.
- Yeah. And she brought her mommy.

135
00:08:54,397 --> 00:08:57,925
- Oh, my God.
- Come on, Meg! Get out of the car!

136
00:08:58,004 --> 00:09:01,814
Like the kids say,
up your nose with a rubber hose!

137
00:09:01,934 --> 00:09:03,617
Whoo!

138
00:09:04,620 --> 00:09:07,346
Hey, look, everybody. It's Spuds MacKenzie!

139
00:09:07,426 --> 00:09:10,433
Aaargh!

140
00:09:11,436 --> 00:09:16,046
- Well, that's the last of the furniture.
- No TV. I miss my friends.

141
00:09:16,166 --> 00:09:19,254
John Ritter, Florence Henderson,
Alfonso Ribeiro.

142
00:09:19,374 --> 00:09:23,664
- Is he the guy from Silver Spoons?
- No. He was on French Prince of Bel-Air.

143
00:09:23,784 --> 00:09:26,991
- Fresh Prince.
- Fresh Prince of Bel-Air. I don't know if...

144
00:09:27,071 --> 00:09:28,475
- Hey, Alfonso.
- Yeah?

145
00:09:28,595 --> 00:09:30,479
- Were you on Silver Spoons?
- Yes.

146
00:09:30,599 --> 00:09:31,602
There you go.

147
00:09:33,606 --> 00:09:37,615
- Come on. Just a little higher, honey.
- Mom, I don't think I can...

148
00:09:37,696 --> 00:09:41,023
- Who's holding Lois?
- I don't know. Some dude named Mel.

149
00:09:41,023 --> 00:09:45,233
This is Carson Daly. We're live here
at spring break. Who wants to party?!

150
00:09:45,313 --> 00:09:49,243
OK, one, two, three, four, five...

151
00:09:49,243 --> 00:09:51,528
We'll need cake and juice for 14 people.

152
00:09:51,648 --> 00:09:55,857
Now let's go to Tom Green, who's
gonna do something really outrageous!

153
00:09:56,940 --> 00:10:00,548
Does anyone out there like me yet?
Can I stop this?

154
00:10:03,555 --> 00:10:05,560
What the hell are you doing in my house?

155
00:10:05,680 --> 00:10:09,088
Your house? This is my house.
My wife and I bought it from the bank.

156
00:10:09,168 --> 00:10:11,494
I still got another day to pay back the loan.

157
00:10:11,573 --> 00:10:14,580
The bank said you're a fat deadbeat loser.

158
00:10:14,700 --> 00:10:16,706
Fat deadbeat loser?

159
00:10:16,785 --> 00:10:21,517
While I may not agree with what you say,
I'll defend to the death your right to say it.

160
00:10:21,517 --> 00:10:25,004
There we are. It's a Van Gogh print.
Isn't it beautiful?

161
00:10:25,125 --> 00:10:28,612
I've fantasised about what this house
would be like with culture.

162
00:10:28,733 --> 00:10:30,217
- The port is good.
- Yes.

163
00:10:30,337 --> 00:10:31,218
- Indeed.
- Most certainly.

164
00:10:31,339 --> 00:10:32,221
- What year is it?
- '51.

165
00:10:32,341 --> 00:10:33,143
- Ahh.
- Delectable.

166
00:10:33,143 --> 00:10:34,025
- Indeed.
- Yes.

167
00:10:34,145 --> 00:10:34,626
- Oh, dear!
- What is it?

168
00:10:34,747 --> 00:10:36,430
- I've spontaneously combusted.
- I am sorry.

169
00:10:36,550 --> 00:10:38,035
I've grown tired of living.

170
00:10:38,155 --> 00:10:39,036
- Very good.
- For the best.

171
00:10:39,157 --> 00:10:41,162
- Yes, indeed.
- Is it raining again?

172
00:10:42,765 --> 00:10:45,973
Hey, did you hear the one about us?

173
00:10:46,654 --> 00:10:50,062
- Wow. You are such a good dancer.
- Way to go on that beer bong.

174
00:10:50,182 --> 00:10:52,468
- Yeah, no fake. No fake.
- Mom!

175
00:10:52,588 --> 00:10:56,075
- Hey! What are you doing here?
- What am I doing here?

176
00:10:56,196 --> 00:10:59,684
- I've been waiting out here for hours!
- What?

177
00:10:59,804 --> 00:11:03,492
You were gonna pop inside real quick
and find someone who looked like me

178
00:11:03,613 --> 00:11:06,700
so I could use their ID,
then you were supposed to come out

179
00:11:06,820 --> 00:11:10,108
and give me the ID so I can get inside!

180
00:11:11,030 --> 00:11:14,719
- What?
- God, it's like talking to a three-year-old!

181
00:11:14,839 --> 00:11:17,926
You need to learn how
to loosen up a little, toots.

182
00:11:18,047 --> 00:11:20,653
- You're loose enough for the both of us.
- What?

183
00:11:20,732 --> 00:11:25,343
- Nothing.
- That's right, nothing. Don't you sass me!

184
00:11:25,464 --> 00:11:28,670
Good evening. Stevenson residence.

185
00:11:28,751 --> 00:11:32,960
Chris, we've been over this a thousand times.
It's pronounced "Griffin".

186
00:11:33,081 --> 00:11:36,569
- Hi, Mom!
- Hi, Chris. Put your father on.

187
00:11:36,689 --> 00:11:41,982
- Hey, Dad?
- French guy says "Deodorant? What's that?"

188
00:11:43,705 --> 00:11:47,194
All right. All right.
I've got one. I've got one. OK.

189
00:11:47,314 --> 00:11:51,604
Two men are standing at the Pearly Gates.
Oh, God, wait. How did that one go?

190
00:11:51,724 --> 00:11:55,732
It turns out they're Siegfried and Roy.
I'm no good at telling jokes.

191
00:11:55,813 --> 00:12:00,022
- Dad, it's Mom.
- Oh, God. Please be Somerset Maugham.

192
00:12:00,143 --> 00:12:01,145
- Hello?
- Peter?

193
00:12:01,226 --> 00:12:04,553
- Damn!
- Calling to check in, see how you guys are.

194
00:12:04,633 --> 00:12:07,159
Oh, we're fine.

195
00:12:07,159 --> 00:12:09,765
- What's all that noise?
- Nothing. Nothing.

196
00:12:09,845 --> 00:12:14,055
- I need you to take out the trash.
- OK, Lois! Lois, I got to go.

197
00:12:14,175 --> 00:12:16,380
Holy crap, Brian! What am I gonna do?

198
00:12:16,461 --> 00:12:20,189
Lois will be home in a coupla days
and we're getting kicked out tomorrow.

199
00:12:20,269 --> 00:12:22,474
- What do you suggest?
- Get out your ring.

200
00:12:22,594 --> 00:12:24,478
- That's not gonna...
- Come on!

201
00:12:24,600 --> 00:12:26,604
Wonder Twin powers, activate!

202
00:12:26,684 --> 00:12:29,611
Form of... steam!

203
00:12:30,292 --> 00:12:32,417
We got these in a box of Frankenberry.

204
00:12:32,497 --> 00:12:37,428
A jackal! Jackal! It's a jackal! It looks
like a jackal! Jackal? It's a jackal! Jackal?

205
00:12:37,509 --> 00:12:39,834
- Time!
- It wasn't right the first time!

206
00:12:39,914 --> 00:12:44,645
Why the hell would it be right
the next ten times?! God!

207
00:12:48,133 --> 00:12:51,862
I am screwed. I'm gonna lose my house
and my boat and everything.

208
00:12:51,942 --> 00:12:54,147
How am I gonna come up with 50 grand?

209
00:12:54,268 --> 00:12:58,156
You could whore yourself out to
a thousand fat chicks for 50 bucks apiece.

210
00:12:58,277 --> 00:13:01,564
Or 50 really fat chicks
for a thousand bucks.

211
00:13:01,685 --> 00:13:06,575
What? Don't look at me like that. Fat chicks
need love, too. But they got to pay.

212
00:13:06,696 --> 00:13:08,701
Agh! What is this?

213
00:13:08,780 --> 00:13:12,389
Sea water, courtesy
of that gentleman over there.

214
00:13:12,509 --> 00:13:15,396
You need 50 grand, Griffin?
I got a suggestion for you.

215
00:13:15,516 --> 00:13:17,601
Why don't you kill Daggermouth?

216
00:13:19,405 --> 00:13:21,610
Maybe I will, Hennessey.

217
00:13:21,730 --> 00:13:25,339
You'd be buying yourself
a one-way ticket to a watery grave.

218
00:13:25,419 --> 00:13:30,150
Daggermouth is the meanest, most ruthless
creature that's ever inhabited the sea.

219
00:13:30,230 --> 00:13:33,357
Legend has it he dwells out
by Fish Stench Cove.

220
00:13:33,437 --> 00:13:37,046
He'll kill any man that comes near there.
I saw him once.

221
00:13:37,166 --> 00:13:41,576
Sure, I'm blind in one eye, and my other eye
was infected that day from picking at it,

222
00:13:41,656 --> 00:13:45,987
and I was tired, and I'd been swimming
in a pool with too much chlorine,

223
00:13:46,066 --> 00:13:49,474
and my glasses were at LensCrafters,
but I seen that fish!

224
00:13:49,594 --> 00:13:52,200
If there's 50 grand in it,
I don't think I got a choice.

225
00:13:52,200 --> 00:13:55,488
You can whore yourself out
to a thousand fat chicks for 50 bucks.

226
00:13:55,609 --> 00:13:58,093
- No, we covered that.
- You ain't got a chance.

227
00:13:58,215 --> 00:14:02,223
Daggermouth killed my friend Salty,
and he was twice the fisherman you are.

228
00:14:02,304 --> 00:14:04,829
And half the weight! Ooh...

229
00:14:04,829 --> 00:14:07,636
Hey, no! No! Hot!

230
00:14:07,716 --> 00:14:11,725
Lt'd be suicide to go after that fish.
There's got to be another way.

231
00:14:11,845 --> 00:14:14,933
- We could have a bake sale.
- I think that's a neat idea.

232
00:14:15,053 --> 00:14:18,060
No! I am not gonna let my family
live on the street.

233
00:14:18,060 --> 00:14:20,265
Not even if it means ending up like Shamus.

234
00:14:20,345 --> 00:14:24,073
Now, if you'll excuse me,
I have a date with destiny.

235
00:14:25,076 --> 00:14:28,884
- So were you, like, in an accident or what?
- No. Me father was a tree.

236
00:14:32,773 --> 00:14:34,779
What's wrong with me?

237
00:14:34,899 --> 00:14:38,988
I gotta be crazy to think I can kill that
man-eating fish. What the hell am I doing?

238
00:14:39,108 --> 00:14:42,395
Hey, hey, hey. Come on, Peter.
What kind of talk is that?

239
00:14:42,516 --> 00:14:45,924
Yeah, you can do it.
Who's my big brave boy, huh?

240
00:14:46,004 --> 00:14:48,329
- Me.
- Who's my big brave boy?

241
00:14:48,409 --> 00:14:51,417
Me.

242
00:14:55,425 --> 00:14:58,152
- This sucks, Mom.
- Meg, stop moping.

243
00:14:58,232 --> 00:15:02,241
These are the best years of your life.
Let's get up there and live a little.

244
00:15:05,047 --> 00:15:07,774
- I look like an idiot!
- No, you don't. Come on.

245
00:15:07,774 --> 00:15:10,861
Just move your hips a little like this.

246
00:15:10,981 --> 00:15:15,191
- Lois! Lois! Lois!
- Meg! Meg! Meg! Meg!

247
00:15:15,271 --> 00:15:19,681
Meg! Meg! Meg! Meg! Meg!

248
00:15:19,801 --> 00:15:22,608
Attagirl! Shake your moneymaker!

249
00:15:22,608 --> 00:15:26,497
Meg! Meg! Meg! Meg! Meg!
Meg! Meg! Meg! Meg!

250
00:15:26,618 --> 00:15:30,105
Oh, my God! It's a chick!

251
00:15:30,225 --> 00:15:34,235
- Ay, Dios mio, una chica!
- All right, everybody! This party's over!

252
00:15:34,315 --> 00:15:36,720
Why do you cops
always have to kill our buzz?

253
00:15:36,841 --> 00:15:39,928
He used a teenage colloquialism.
Get the tear gas.

254
00:15:43,256 --> 00:15:45,942
- Not so fast, big guy.
- What are you guys doing here?

255
00:15:46,062 --> 00:15:48,147
We're gonna help you kill the fish.

256
00:15:48,267 --> 00:15:52,757
- This will be dangerous. We could all die.
- Come on. You're our best friend.

257
00:15:52,878 --> 00:15:55,484
I can remember when you saved all our butts.

258
00:15:56,085 --> 00:15:57,368
Mnh-mnh. Mnh-mnh.

259
00:15:58,691 --> 00:15:59,773
Hyah!

260
00:15:59,894 --> 00:16:04,584
Too bad I didn't get there till after
the sodomy. Let's go kick some fish ass!

261
00:16:08,994 --> 00:16:11,921
I can't believe
I just showed everyone my tater tots.

262
00:16:11,921 --> 00:16:14,607
Worst of all,
now I'm gonna have a police record.

263
00:16:14,728 --> 00:16:16,812
If you're gonna grab ahold of life,

264
00:16:16,933 --> 00:16:19,940
you've gotta expect to get
your hands dirty once in a while.

265
00:16:20,020 --> 00:16:23,147
- It was cool that people noticed me.
- That's the spirit.

266
00:16:23,227 --> 00:16:25,753
OK, one, two, three... tuck and roll!

267
00:16:30,444 --> 00:16:33,050
We're right on course. Give me another beer.

268
00:16:33,170 --> 00:16:35,255
These are the precious moments.

269
00:16:35,375 --> 00:16:40,267
The four of us out at sea, miles away
from civilisation, tossing back brews.

270
00:16:40,387 --> 00:16:45,399
Amen to that. You guys, here's one for you.
Let's say none of us were married.

271
00:16:45,478 --> 00:16:47,804
If you could have any woman,
who would it be?

272
00:16:47,884 --> 00:16:49,608
- Mariel Hemingway.
- Really?

273
00:16:49,608 --> 00:16:51,893
- That's not a good choice.
- She's so jagged.

274
00:16:52,013 --> 00:16:55,300
I think she's very attractive
in a classical kind of way.

275
00:16:55,422 --> 00:16:57,426
But you could cut a roast on her face.

276
00:16:57,506 --> 00:17:02,036
- I would go with Margaret Thatcher.
- Why the hell Margaret Thatcher?

277
00:17:02,117 --> 00:17:04,923
Oh, so nobody here thinks power is sexy?

278
00:17:05,044 --> 00:17:08,250
- Not one of you finds power sexy?
- How about you, Peter?

279
00:17:08,331 --> 00:17:11,458
The chick with the three knockers
from Total Recall.

280
00:17:11,538 --> 00:17:14,666
- I never saw that movie.
- One of them was papier-mâché.

281
00:17:14,746 --> 00:17:18,554
Can I change my answer...?
Of course I know it's paper! I don't care!

282
00:17:18,674 --> 00:17:21,561
What's wrong with you?
What about you, Quagmire?

283
00:17:21,682 --> 00:17:24,889
- Taylor Hanson.
- Taylor Hanson's a guy.

284
00:17:27,895 --> 00:17:33,107
You guys are yanking me.
"Let's put one over on old Quagmire. "

285
00:17:33,188 --> 00:17:35,994
No, he's actually a guy, Quagmire.

286
00:17:36,115 --> 00:17:39,924
Wha... Well, this is insane!
That's impossible!

287
00:17:40,725 --> 00:17:43,331
Oh, my God! Oh, my God!

288
00:17:43,412 --> 00:17:47,540
Oh, my God, I can't... Oh, God!
I got all these magazines!

289
00:17:47,621 --> 00:17:49,625
Oh, God! Oh, God!

290
00:17:52,231 --> 00:17:58,566
- This must be Fish Stench Cove.
- Now all we gotta do is find the fish.

291
00:17:58,647 --> 00:18:01,573
I wonder where that fish did go.

292
00:18:01,573 --> 00:18:04,981
A fish, a fish, a fishy-o!

293
00:18:14,803 --> 00:18:19,014
I heard that when Daggermouth eats you,
he devours your guts first.

294
00:18:19,014 --> 00:18:23,303
I heard he doesn't just eat you,
he eats your soul.

295
00:18:23,423 --> 00:18:27,914
I heard that one of Shannon Doherty's eyes
is off-centre cos it's trying to escape.

296
00:18:28,034 --> 00:18:30,640
Welcome, gentlemen.

297
00:18:30,720 --> 00:18:34,048
- Agh!
- It's him! Quick, shoot him!

298
00:18:34,128 --> 00:18:37,857
Not so fast! Perhaps I could
offer you a glass of port.

299
00:18:37,937 --> 00:18:41,144
And you, a glass of starboard.
That's a nautical joke.

300
00:18:41,265 --> 00:18:44,872
- I'm a fish. I'm also delightfully mad.
- Agh!

301
00:18:44,953 --> 00:18:47,278
Would you mind holding still for a moment?

302
00:18:47,358 --> 00:18:50,285
These antique pistols
take ten minutes to reload.

303
00:18:50,366 --> 00:18:53,773
- Peter, catch!
- Ow! Don't throw stuff at me, Joe!

304
00:18:53,894 --> 00:18:56,499
- Shoot him!
- Oh, yeah. Right.

305
00:19:00,989 --> 00:19:05,801
My God. Isn't it amazing that that's
what we all look like on the inside?

306
00:19:05,921 --> 00:19:08,728
- It's a robot, you idiot.
- Who are you?

307
00:19:08,728 --> 00:19:12,937
- I'm Salty.
- Everybody said you were killed by the fish.

308
00:19:12,937 --> 00:19:17,628
That's what I wanted. I disappeared
and spread the Daggermouth rumour myself.

309
00:19:17,748 --> 00:19:21,958
- Why?
- Merchandise. T-shirts, mugs, posters.

310
00:19:22,038 --> 00:19:24,845
I'm in talks with Nickelodeon
for a cartoon show.

311
00:19:24,965 --> 00:19:28,452
- I'd pair him with an effeminate cat.
- I'd watch that.

312
00:19:28,573 --> 00:19:30,657
- Me too.
- Sounds like a good balance.

313
00:19:30,779 --> 00:19:34,066
And now I'm gonna give you
$50,000 to be on your way.

314
00:19:34,186 --> 00:19:38,196
- $50,000? For what?
- To keep your mouth shut.

315
00:19:38,275 --> 00:19:40,881
The longer we stay here,
the more people will question

316
00:19:41,001 --> 00:19:43,407
how a fisherman
with no engineering background

317
00:19:43,487 --> 00:19:46,414
built a sophisticated talking fish robot.

318
00:19:48,298 --> 00:19:51,225
You know, honey,
I'm really sorry for how I acted.

319
00:19:51,225 --> 00:19:53,630
Getting drunk and ditching you at the bar,

320
00:19:53,711 --> 00:19:57,039
and letting those boys take pictures
of you sleeping.

321
00:19:57,039 --> 00:20:00,326
I was so busy having fun,
I guess I kind of ruined it for you.

322
00:20:00,446 --> 00:20:03,653
Uh-oh. We got company.

323
00:20:07,062 --> 00:20:10,950
- Looks like your friends are back, Mom.
- Meg! Meg! Meg! Meg!

324
00:20:11,070 --> 00:20:14,359
No, I think this one's all yours.

325
00:20:14,479 --> 00:20:17,966
- Whoo! Yeah! You go, girl!
- One's an innie and one's an outie.

326
00:20:20,572 --> 00:20:24,301
And now, back to "Daggermouth
and Boom Boom" on Nickelodeon.

327
00:20:24,382 --> 00:20:26,787
Boom Boom, did you do
your exercises today?

328
00:20:26,907 --> 00:20:30,916
Yes. I did 20 laps.
And I'm about to do 20 more.

329
00:20:30,997 --> 00:20:33,402
- Oh, you!
- Yipes!

330
00:20:36,329 --> 00:20:39,536
Peter, I'm so glad being a fisherman
is working out for you.

331
00:20:39,616 --> 00:20:43,225
I got to admit I half expected to come home,
and our stuff would be gone,

332
00:20:43,345 --> 00:20:45,349
and we'd owe somebody a lot of money.

333
00:20:45,430 --> 00:20:49,238
- How can you half expect something?
- It's just a turn of phrase.

334
00:20:49,359 --> 00:20:53,568
- How do you turn a phrase?
- God, you're dumb. Thank God for that ass.

335
00:20:53,649 --> 00:20:55,974
Now, come here and kiss me.

336
00:20:56,054 --> 00:20:58,179
- Good night, honey.
- Good night, Lois.

337
00:20:58,259 --> 00:21:00,665
- Good night, Jim and Abby.
- Good night.

338
00:21:00,785 --> 00:21:05,877
Not now, Abby.

339
00:21:30,253 --> 00:21:32,939
Visiontext Subtitles: Yasmin Rammohan

