1
00:00:01,494 --> 00:00:04,914
"It seems today that all you see

2
00:00:05,047 --> 00:00:08,467
"Is violence in movies and sex on TV

3
00:00:08,600 --> 00:00:12,229
"But where are those
good old-fashioned values

4
00:00:12,363 --> 00:00:15,074
"On which we used to rely?

5
00:00:15,164 --> 00:00:18,417
"Lucky there's a family guy

6
00:00:18,508 --> 00:00:23,638
"Lucky there's a man who positively
can do all the things that make us

7
00:00:23,650 --> 00:00:25,110
"Laugh and cry

8
00:00:25,197 --> 00:00:30,619
"He's a family guy

9
00:00:34,520 --> 00:00:38,774
Peter, this is ridiculous.
I know you're upset about losing your job,

10
00:00:38,909 --> 00:00:40,869
but you've sat there for two weeks.

11
00:00:40,998 --> 00:00:44,836
- I have not, Lois.
- He's right. It's actually been more like...

12
00:00:44,970 --> 00:00:48,598
- Yeah. 13 days.
- You have to do something other than eat.

13
00:00:48,732 --> 00:00:52,903
All right, all right. Brian, let's go for a walk.

14
00:01:02,194 --> 00:01:05,238
Meg, sweetheart, what's wrong?

15
00:01:05,329 --> 00:01:09,917
My life. That's what's wrong.
I was totally humiliated at school today.

16
00:01:10,053 --> 00:01:12,972
We're gonna do an informal survey here, kids.

17
00:01:12,978 --> 00:01:18,609
Would those who are going away for spring
break please move to the left of the room?

18
00:01:19,333 --> 00:01:25,506
Oigan, quienes van a spring break,
pasen a la izquierda, por favor.

19
00:01:25,520 --> 00:01:29,065
- Meg, what do those kids know?
- They know how to have a good time.

20
00:01:29,156 --> 00:01:34,078
So do we. I'll tell you what. How about you
and I have our own little spring break?

21
00:01:34,173 --> 00:01:37,010
We'll go to that fancy new spa
that just opened up.

22
00:01:37,100 --> 00:01:41,187
Massages and facials.
It'll be great. What do you say?

23
00:01:41,196 --> 00:01:45,576
I guess it couldn't be worse than last year
when we all went to Sea World.

24
00:01:49,975 --> 00:01:52,353
And how long has this been going on?!

25
00:01:55,619 --> 00:01:58,205
Lois is right. I've been out of work too long.

26
00:01:58,336 --> 00:02:01,130
I think you should find
something you enjoy doing.

27
00:02:01,262 --> 00:02:04,599
- Take those guys out there, for example.
- Where?

28
00:02:06,906 --> 00:02:10,743
Oh, yeah. Now, that's a job.
Fresh sea air, working outside.

29
00:02:10,877 --> 00:02:13,380
That's how a real New England man
makes a living.

30
00:02:13,469 --> 00:02:16,723
- That's something to think about.
- What's that, Daddy?

31
00:02:16,730 --> 00:02:20,066
That's Mercury, Jake,
the planet closest to the sun.

32
00:02:20,158 --> 00:02:23,286
What it's doing by the wharf,
we should ask a scientist...

33
00:02:23,418 --> 00:02:25,295
I'm a guy, you jackass!

34
00:02:26,637 --> 00:02:28,931
Ah, yeah, that feels good.

35
00:02:29,062 --> 00:02:31,856
Chris, don't forget to mist under his chins.

36
00:02:31,988 --> 00:02:35,617
Oh, boy, Lois. It's a real mess down there.

37
00:02:35,751 --> 00:02:38,754
I'm afraid I'm won't be able
to do this in the time I quoted.

38
00:02:38,886 --> 00:02:42,723
Chris, shut the hose off for a second.
I have an announcement.

39
00:02:42,857 --> 00:02:45,985
I am gonna drop this weight
and rejoin the workforce.

40
00:02:46,076 --> 00:02:49,121
I have decided to become
a professional fisherman.

41
00:02:49,128 --> 00:02:50,671
What? Why a fisherman?

42
00:02:50,800 --> 00:02:54,220
It makes sense. You know
how much time I've spent on the ocean.

43
00:02:54,353 --> 00:02:59,024
Wilson! What are we gonna do now?!

44
00:02:59,161 --> 00:03:04,583
- Wilson! Wilson!
- My name is Voit, dumb-ass.

45
00:03:05,097 --> 00:03:08,225
Hello, Doreen?
I'm still over at the Griffin job.

46
00:03:08,357 --> 00:03:11,986
Tell Walter I won't be able
to make it to the construction site.

47
00:03:12,120 --> 00:03:16,791
So... I don't know. Have him send
Frank or Glen or Harelip Steve.

48
00:03:16,928 --> 00:03:19,430
I know, it creeps me out, too.

49
00:03:21,317 --> 00:03:23,402
So you think I can find a boat here?

50
00:03:23,491 --> 00:03:26,619
You wouldn't believe what we
confiscate from these crooks.

51
00:03:26,751 --> 00:03:31,422
We open today's bidding with this pair
of panties confiscated from a prostitute.

52
00:03:31,559 --> 00:03:33,936
- 50 bucks!
- She had nine STD's.

53
00:03:34,694 --> 00:03:38,239
- 45 bucks.
- And when we caught her, she wet herself.

54
00:03:38,331 --> 00:03:43,253
- 50 bucks.
- Will you sell anything that's not gross?

55
00:03:43,347 --> 00:03:48,060
Please direct your attention to this photo
of a beautiful 40-foot fishing boat.

56
00:03:48,071 --> 00:03:50,574
- Oh, man, that's perfect!
- $12,000.

57
00:03:50,663 --> 00:03:53,708
- $13,000.
- $25,000.

58
00:03:53,798 --> 00:03:56,635
- Sold for $25,000.
- Yes!

59
00:03:56,642 --> 00:03:58,810
- Aw, crap!
- Thanks.

60
00:03:58,941 --> 00:04:02,778
And now the actual boat itself.
Do I have an opening bid for the boat?

61
00:04:02,912 --> 00:04:05,831
- $50,000!
- Sold for $50,000.

62
00:04:05,922 --> 00:04:08,633
Good for you, Peter.

63
00:04:11,273 --> 00:04:14,818
Congratulations.
You've bought yourself a cursed boat.

64
00:04:14,909 --> 00:04:17,829
- Cursed?
- The last captain of that vessel lost his life.

65
00:04:17,961 --> 00:04:20,964
And it weren't no accident!
His name was Salty.

66
00:04:21,097 --> 00:04:24,517
And he was devoured by Daggermouth,
the man-eating bluefish.

67
00:04:24,650 --> 00:04:27,028
You want to buy that boat?
Go ahead, take it.

68
00:04:27,158 --> 00:04:30,161
Don't expect me to fish your dead body
from an angry sea

69
00:04:30,294 --> 00:04:33,422
that gave you fair warning.

70
00:04:33,429 --> 00:04:37,058
Are you up for bids, too?
You are just precious.

71
00:04:39,073 --> 00:04:45,329
- Are you gonna miss me?
- Only until I go and buy a Hustler.

72
00:04:45,426 --> 00:04:48,679
I left you the number for the spa.
See you in a few days.

73
00:04:48,687 --> 00:04:51,816
Not if I strangle myself
with a seaweed wrap and die.

74
00:04:51,906 --> 00:04:54,409
You are dark!

75
00:04:57,550 --> 00:05:00,386
You haven't told me
how you expect to pay for that boat.

76
00:05:00,476 --> 00:05:03,730
There's got to be a hundred banks
that'll give me a loan.

77
00:05:05,827 --> 00:05:08,538
- So, you can really give me a loan?
- I sure can.

78
00:05:08,627 --> 00:05:12,298
What sets us apart from other banks
is that other banks are banks.

79
00:05:12,307 --> 00:05:17,520
- Now, I trust you have collateral.
- I got three kids.

80
00:05:17,616 --> 00:05:21,995
I'll take 'em. Just kidding.
Or maybe I'm not. Sign this.

81
00:05:22,130 --> 00:05:24,925
Here you go. Good luck!

82
00:05:27,649 --> 00:05:30,276
- What do you want on your thigh?
- I want a skull.

83
00:05:30,366 --> 00:05:34,120
OK. I can draw Kermit the Frog.
How about a nice Kermit the Frog?

84
00:05:34,254 --> 00:05:37,882
- No. I want a skull.
- OK. I'll go ahead and do Kermit the Frog.

85
00:05:39,897 --> 00:05:43,651
- Mom, this is so lame.
- Come on, Meg. Try to have fun.

86
00:05:43,742 --> 00:05:47,621
I promise after a few days you won't
remember the words "spring break".

87
00:05:47,630 --> 00:05:50,216
Hey, how about some TV?

88
00:05:50,348 --> 00:05:53,476
This is MTV
and we're rocking at spring break!

89
00:05:54,320 --> 00:05:57,656
Hey, this is VH1
and we're rocking at spring break.

90
00:05:57,663 --> 00:06:01,918
...leaving thousands injured.
For CNN, I'm Bernard Shaw,

91
00:06:02,053 --> 00:06:06,015
keeping it real and kicking ass
at spring break! Whoo!

92
00:06:07,780 --> 00:06:12,785
Here she is, boys. The S.S. More Powerful
than Superman, Batman, Spiderman

93
00:06:12,922 --> 00:06:15,091
and the Incredible Hulk Put Together.

94
00:06:15,221 --> 00:06:18,641
She's a fine vessel.
Welcome to the wharf. Name's Hennessey.

95
00:06:18,775 --> 00:06:21,570
Peter Griffin.
Friends call me Peter for short.

96
00:06:21,701 --> 00:06:27,331
I'll let you in on a secret, neighbour. The
best fishing is at latitude 42, longitude 71.

97
00:06:27,428 --> 00:06:29,638
- Keep that to yourself.
- Wow, thanks.

98
00:06:29,728 --> 00:06:32,647
I'll see you, fellas. I got some fish to catch.

99
00:06:35,788 --> 00:06:42,045
Let's see, latitude 42, longitude 71.
This is it. What the hell...?

100
00:06:42,811 --> 00:06:45,731
Papa, he killed Mordecai,
the Dancing Yiddish Clown!

101
00:06:45,738 --> 00:06:48,741
Stop crying.
You just became a man. Act like one.

102
00:06:49,501 --> 00:06:52,420
What's the big idea sending me
to that bar mitzvah?

103
00:06:52,426 --> 00:06:57,515
Cos I don't like you! We don't need any
more fishermen crowding up this wharf!

104
00:06:57,652 --> 00:07:01,280
- Fine. You want an enemy, you got one!
- Fine!

105
00:07:03,170 --> 00:07:05,381
There we are.

106
00:07:05,469 --> 00:07:08,097
Steve, you ever think
of growing a moustache?

107
00:07:12,910 --> 00:07:16,748
Nice fish you got there, Griffin.
What are you selling? Your bait?

108
00:07:16,882 --> 00:07:21,887
Nice face, Hennessey.
Yes! Me, one. You, zero.

109
00:07:21,982 --> 00:07:24,068
Hey!

110
00:07:26,371 --> 00:07:30,125
- Wow. So, how do you do it?
- Oh, you're very nice to ask.

111
00:07:30,259 --> 00:07:33,888
First, I hang the old worm out there.
They usually go for it.

112
00:07:34,022 --> 00:07:38,276
I jerk 'em around. They fight for a while.
Then they lay back and accept it.

113
00:07:38,412 --> 00:07:42,374
- How about we get together later?
- OK.

114
00:07:42,466 --> 00:07:44,969
What the hell...? Oh, dammit!

115
00:07:47,817 --> 00:07:50,945
Hey, what's going on here?

116
00:07:51,035 --> 00:07:53,872
Did you read the fine print
on this loan contract?

117
00:07:53,962 --> 00:07:58,675
If by read, you mean
imagined a naked lady, then yes.

118
00:07:58,769 --> 00:08:00,855
The bank's taking all our stuff.

119
00:08:00,985 --> 00:08:04,822
And if you don't pay them within 48 hours,
they get the house, too.

120
00:08:04,956 --> 00:08:08,168
Oh, boy! I get to go live at the bank!

121
00:08:12,272 --> 00:08:14,650
Did I ever tell you if you're on birth control

122
00:08:14,781 --> 00:08:18,827
and you take an antibiotic,
it makes it not work?

123
00:08:18,961 --> 00:08:24,174
Because no one told me.
I thought you should know.

124
00:08:24,270 --> 00:08:26,772
I don't really feel like talking right now.

125
00:08:26,903 --> 00:08:30,448
Fine. I just don't understand why we had
to leave the spa so early.

126
00:08:30,541 --> 00:08:35,462
I wanna go home and spend the next three
days in solitary confinement where I belong!

127
00:08:35,557 --> 00:08:37,642
Well, I tried.

128
00:08:51,777 --> 00:08:55,739
- What the hell are we doing here?
- This is where you wanted to be, right?

129
00:08:55,832 --> 00:08:57,834
Yeah. But not with you!

130
00:08:57,922 --> 00:09:00,424
Did you hear what happened
to that dude from UMass?

131
00:09:00,555 --> 00:09:04,518
He got so drunk he fell off
his hotel balcony! He's in a coma!

132
00:09:04,611 --> 00:09:08,282
- Oh, man! I want to party with him!
- You know it! Yeah!

133
00:09:08,290 --> 00:09:10,458
- Whoo! Whoo! Whoo!
- Yeah! Yeah!

134
00:09:11,216 --> 00:09:16,221
- Hey, look. Meg made it, you guys.
- Yeah. And she brought her mommy.

135
00:09:16,316 --> 00:09:19,986
- Oh, my God.
- Come on, Meg! Get out of the car!

136
00:09:20,078 --> 00:09:24,041
Like the kids say,
up your nose with a rubber hose!

137
00:09:24,175 --> 00:09:25,926
Whoo!

138
00:09:26,976 --> 00:09:29,812
Hey, look, everybody. It's Spuds MacKenzie!

139
00:09:29,902 --> 00:09:33,030
Aaargh!

140
00:09:34,083 --> 00:09:38,879
- Well, that's the last of the furniture.
- No TV. I miss my friends.

141
00:09:39,015 --> 00:09:42,227
John Ritter, Florence Henderson,
Alfonso Ribeiro.

142
00:09:42,360 --> 00:09:46,823
- Is he the guy from Silver Spoons?
- No. He was on French Prince of Bel-Air.

143
00:09:46,958 --> 00:09:50,294
- Fresh Prince.
- Fresh Prince of Bel-Air. I don't know if...

144
00:09:50,386 --> 00:09:51,846
- Hey, Alfonso.
- Yeah?

145
00:09:51,975 --> 00:09:53,935
- Were you on Silver Spoons?
- Yes.

146
00:09:54,065 --> 00:09:55,108
There you go.

147
00:09:57,200 --> 00:10:01,371
- Come on. Just a little higher, honey.
- Mom, I don't think I can...

148
00:10:01,465 --> 00:10:04,926
- Who's holding Lois?
- I don't know. Some dude named Mel.

149
00:10:04,934 --> 00:10:09,314
This is Carson Daly. We're live here
at spring break. Who wants to party?!

150
00:10:09,407 --> 00:10:13,495
OK, one, two, three, four, five...

151
00:10:13,504 --> 00:10:15,881
We'll need cake and juice for 14 people.

152
00:10:16,012 --> 00:10:20,391
Now let's go to Tom Green, who's
gonna do something really outrageous!

153
00:10:21,531 --> 00:10:25,284
Does anyone out there like me yet?
Can I stop this?

154
00:10:28,427 --> 00:10:30,513
What the hell are you doing in my house?

155
00:10:30,643 --> 00:10:34,188
Your house? This is my house.
My wife and I bought it from the bank.

156
00:10:34,281 --> 00:10:36,700
I still got another day to pay back the loan.

157
00:10:36,788 --> 00:10:39,916
The bank said you're a fat deadbeat loser.

158
00:10:40,049 --> 00:10:42,135
Fat deadbeat loser?

159
00:10:42,223 --> 00:10:47,145
While I may not agree with what you say,
I'll defend to the death your right to say it.

160
00:10:47,156 --> 00:10:50,784
There we are. It's a Van Gogh print.
Isn't it beautiful?

161
00:10:50,919 --> 00:10:54,547
I've fantasised about what this house
would be like with culture.

162
00:10:54,680 --> 00:10:56,224
- The port is good.
- Yes.

163
00:10:56,353 --> 00:10:57,270
- Indeed.
- Most certainly.

164
00:10:57,398 --> 00:10:58,316
- What year is it?
- '51.

165
00:10:58,443 --> 00:10:59,277
- Ahh.
- Delectable.

166
00:10:59,279 --> 00:11:00,197
- Indeed.
- Yes.

167
00:11:00,324 --> 00:11:00,824
- Oh, dear!
- What is it?

168
00:11:00,952 --> 00:11:02,703
- I've spontaneously combusted.
- I am sorry.

169
00:11:02,832 --> 00:11:04,376
I've grown tired of living.

170
00:11:04,505 --> 00:11:05,422
- Very good.
- For the best.

171
00:11:05,550 --> 00:11:07,635
- Yes, indeed.
- Is it raining again?

172
00:11:09,312 --> 00:11:12,649
Hey, did you hear the one about us?

173
00:11:13,367 --> 00:11:16,912
- Wow. You are such a good dancer.
- Way to go on that beer bong.

174
00:11:17,045 --> 00:11:19,423
- Yeah, no fake. No fake.
- Mom!

175
00:11:19,554 --> 00:11:23,182
- Hey! What are you doing here?
- What am I doing here?

176
00:11:23,317 --> 00:11:26,945
- I've been waiting out here for hours!
- What?

177
00:11:27,078 --> 00:11:30,915
You were gonna pop inside real quick
and find someone who looked like me

178
00:11:31,050 --> 00:11:34,261
so I could use their ID,
then you were supposed to come out

179
00:11:34,394 --> 00:11:37,814
and give me the ID so I can get inside!

180
00:11:38,784 --> 00:11:42,621
- What?
- God, it's like talking to a three-year-old!

181
00:11:42,755 --> 00:11:45,967
You need to learn how
to loosen up a little, toots.

182
00:11:46,100 --> 00:11:48,811
- You're loose enough for the both of us.
- What?

183
00:11:48,900 --> 00:11:53,697
- Nothing.
- That's right, nothing. Don't you sass me!

184
00:11:53,834 --> 00:11:57,170
Good evening. Stevenson residence.

185
00:11:57,261 --> 00:12:01,640
Chris, we've been over this a thousand times.
It's pronounced "Griffin".

186
00:12:01,776 --> 00:12:05,405
- Hi, Mom!
- Hi, Chris. Put your father on.

187
00:12:05,538 --> 00:12:11,044
- Hey, Dad?
- French guy says "Deodorant? What's that?"

188
00:12:12,854 --> 00:12:16,483
All right. All right.
I've got one. I've got one. OK.

189
00:12:16,617 --> 00:12:21,080
Two men are standing at the Pearly Gates.
Oh, God, wait. How did that one go?

190
00:12:21,215 --> 00:12:25,385
It turns out they're Siegfried and Roy.
I'm no good at telling jokes.

191
00:12:25,479 --> 00:12:29,858
- Dad, it's Mom.
- Oh, God. Please be Somerset Maugham.

192
00:12:29,993 --> 00:12:31,036
- Hello?
- Peter?

193
00:12:31,123 --> 00:12:34,584
- Damn!
- Calling to check in, see how you guys are.

194
00:12:34,676 --> 00:12:37,303
Oh, we're fine.

195
00:12:37,309 --> 00:12:40,020
- What's all that noise?
- Nothing. Nothing.

196
00:12:40,110 --> 00:12:44,489
- I need you to take out the trash.
- OK, Lois! Lois, I got to go.

197
00:12:44,625 --> 00:12:46,919
Holy crap, Brian! What am I gonna do?

198
00:12:47,008 --> 00:12:50,887
Lois will be home in a coupla days
and we're getting kicked out tomorrow.

199
00:12:50,979 --> 00:12:53,273
- What do you suggest?
- Get out your ring.

200
00:12:53,404 --> 00:12:55,364
- That's not gonna...
- Come on!

201
00:12:55,495 --> 00:12:57,580
Wonder Twin powers, activate!

202
00:12:57,667 --> 00:13:00,712
Form of... steam!

203
00:13:01,430 --> 00:13:03,641
We got these in a box of Frankenberry.

204
00:13:03,729 --> 00:13:08,859
A jackal! Jackal! It's a jackal! It looks
like a jackal! Jackal? It's a jackal! Jackal?

205
00:13:08,955 --> 00:13:11,374
- Time!
- It wasn't right the first time!

206
00:13:11,463 --> 00:13:16,385
Why the hell would it be right
the next ten times?! God!

207
00:13:20,033 --> 00:13:23,912
I am screwed. I'm gonna lose my house
and my boat and everything.

208
00:13:24,005 --> 00:13:26,299
How am I gonna come up with 50 grand?

209
00:13:26,429 --> 00:13:30,474
You could whore yourself out to
a thousand fat chicks for 50 bucks apiece.

210
00:13:30,610 --> 00:13:34,030
Or 50 really fat chicks
for a thousand bucks.

211
00:13:34,163 --> 00:13:39,251
What? Don't look at me like that. Fat chicks
need love, too. But they got to pay.

212
00:13:39,388 --> 00:13:41,474
Agh! What is this?

213
00:13:41,562 --> 00:13:45,316
Sea water, courtesy
of that gentleman over there.

214
00:13:45,450 --> 00:13:48,453
You need 50 grand, Griffin?
I got a suggestion for you.

215
00:13:48,585 --> 00:13:50,754
Why don't you kill Daggermouth?

216
00:13:52,640 --> 00:13:54,934
Maybe I will, Hennessey.

217
00:13:55,065 --> 00:13:58,819
You'd be buying yourself
a one-way ticket to a watery grave.

218
00:13:58,910 --> 00:14:03,832
Daggermouth is the meanest, most ruthless
creature that's ever inhabited the sea.

219
00:14:03,927 --> 00:14:07,180
Legend has it he dwells out
by Fish Stench Cove.

220
00:14:07,272 --> 00:14:11,026
He'll kill any man that comes near there.
I saw him once.

221
00:14:11,159 --> 00:14:15,747
Sure, I'm blind in one eye, and my other eye
was infected that day from picking at it,

222
00:14:15,841 --> 00:14:20,346
and I was tired, and I'd been swimming
in a pool with too much chlorine,

223
00:14:20,440 --> 00:14:23,985
and my glasses were at LensCrafters,
but I seen that fish!

224
00:14:24,118 --> 00:14:26,829
If there's 50 grand in it,
I don't think I got a choice.

225
00:14:26,835 --> 00:14:30,255
You can whore yourself out
to a thousand fat chicks for 50 bucks.

226
00:14:30,389 --> 00:14:32,974
- No, we covered that.
- You ain't got a chance.

227
00:14:33,107 --> 00:14:37,277
Daggermouth killed my friend Salty,
and he was twice the fisherman you are.

228
00:14:37,370 --> 00:14:39,997
And half the weight! Ooh...

229
00:14:40,003 --> 00:14:42,923
Hey, no! No! Hot!

230
00:14:43,013 --> 00:14:47,184
Lt'd be suicide to go after that fish.
There's got to be another way.

231
00:14:47,319 --> 00:14:50,531
- We could have a bake sale.
- I think that's a neat idea.

232
00:14:50,664 --> 00:14:53,792
No! I am not gonna let my family
live on the street.

233
00:14:53,799 --> 00:14:56,093
Not even if it means ending up like Shamus.

234
00:14:56,182 --> 00:15:00,060
Now, if you'll excuse me,
I have a date with destiny.

235
00:15:01,115 --> 00:15:05,077
- So were you, like, in an accident or what?
- No. Me father was a tree.

236
00:15:09,141 --> 00:15:11,227
What's wrong with me?

237
00:15:11,357 --> 00:15:15,611
I gotta be crazy to think I can kill that
man-eating fish. What the hell am I doing?

238
00:15:15,746 --> 00:15:19,166
Hey, hey, hey. Come on, Peter.
What kind of talk is that?

239
00:15:19,299 --> 00:15:22,845
Yeah, you can do it.
Who's my big brave boy, huh?

240
00:15:22,937 --> 00:15:25,356
- Me.
- Who's my big brave boy?

241
00:15:25,444 --> 00:15:28,573
Me.

242
00:15:32,760 --> 00:15:35,597
- This sucks, Mom.
- Meg, stop moping.

243
00:15:35,687 --> 00:15:39,858
These are the best years of your life.
Let's get up there and live a little.

244
00:15:42,793 --> 00:15:45,630
- I look like an idiot!
- No, you don't. Come on.

245
00:15:45,636 --> 00:15:48,847
Just move your hips a little like this.

246
00:15:48,980 --> 00:15:53,360
- Lois! Lois! Lois!
- Meg! Meg! Meg! Meg!

247
00:15:53,453 --> 00:15:58,041
Meg! Meg! Meg! Meg! Meg!

248
00:15:58,177 --> 00:16:01,097
Attagirl! Shake your moneymaker!

249
00:16:01,104 --> 00:16:05,149
Meg! Meg! Meg! Meg! Meg!
Meg! Meg! Meg! Meg!

250
00:16:05,284 --> 00:16:08,912
Oh, my God! It's a chick!

251
00:16:09,046 --> 00:16:13,217
- Ay, Dios mio, una chica!
- All right, everybody! This party's over!

252
00:16:13,311 --> 00:16:15,813
Why do you cops
always have to kill our buzz?

253
00:16:15,944 --> 00:16:19,156
He used a teenage colloquialism.
Get the tear gas.

254
00:16:22,633 --> 00:16:25,427
- Not so fast, big guy.
- What are you guys doing here?

255
00:16:25,559 --> 00:16:27,728
We're gonna help you kill the fish.

256
00:16:27,858 --> 00:16:32,529
- This will be dangerous. We could all die.
- Come on. You're our best friend.

257
00:16:32,666 --> 00:16:35,377
I can remember when you saved all our butts.

258
00:16:36,010 --> 00:16:37,345
Mnh-mnh. Mnh-mnh.

259
00:16:38,727 --> 00:16:39,853
Hyah!

260
00:16:39,982 --> 00:16:44,861
Too bad I didn't get there till after
the sodomy. Let's go kick some fish ass!

261
00:16:49,470 --> 00:16:52,515
I can't believe
I just showed everyone my tater tots.

262
00:16:52,522 --> 00:16:55,316
Worst of all,
now I'm gonna have a police record.

263
00:16:55,449 --> 00:16:57,617
If you're gonna grab ahold of life,

264
00:16:57,748 --> 00:17:00,876
you've gotta expect to get
your hands dirty once in a while.

265
00:17:00,967 --> 00:17:04,220
- It was cool that people noticed me.
- That's the spirit.

266
00:17:04,311 --> 00:17:06,938
OK, one, two, three... tuck and roll!

267
00:17:11,836 --> 00:17:14,547
We're right on course. Give me another beer.

268
00:17:14,678 --> 00:17:16,847
These are the precious moments.

269
00:17:16,977 --> 00:17:22,066
The four of us out at sea, miles away
from civilisation, tossing back brews.

270
00:17:22,203 --> 00:17:27,417
Amen to that. You guys, here's one for you.
Let's say none of us were married.

271
00:17:27,512 --> 00:17:29,931
If you could have any woman,
who would it be?

272
00:17:30,020 --> 00:17:31,814
- Mariel Hemingway.
- Really?

273
00:17:31,818 --> 00:17:34,195
- That's not a good choice.
- She's so jagged.

274
00:17:34,326 --> 00:17:37,746
I think she's very attractive
in a classical kind of way.

275
00:17:37,880 --> 00:17:39,965
But you could cut a roast on her face.

276
00:17:40,053 --> 00:17:44,766
- I would go with Margaret Thatcher.
- Why the hell Margaret Thatcher?

277
00:17:44,861 --> 00:17:47,780
Oh, so nobody here thinks power is sexy?

278
00:17:47,913 --> 00:17:51,249
- Not one of you finds power sexy?
- How about you, Peter?

279
00:17:51,341 --> 00:17:54,594
The chick with the three knockers
from Total Recall.

280
00:17:54,685 --> 00:17:57,939
- I never saw that movie.
- One of them was papier-mâché.

281
00:17:58,029 --> 00:18:01,991
Can I change my answer...?
Of course I know it's paper! I don't care!

282
00:18:02,126 --> 00:18:05,129
What's wrong with you?
What about you, Quagmire?

283
00:18:05,262 --> 00:18:08,598
- Taylor Hanson.
- Taylor Hanson's a guy.

284
00:18:11,741 --> 00:18:17,163
You guys are yanking me.
"Let's put one over on old Quagmire. "

285
00:18:17,259 --> 00:18:20,178
No, he's actually a guy, Quagmire.

286
00:18:20,311 --> 00:18:24,273
Wha... Well, this is insane!
That's impossible!

287
00:18:25,118 --> 00:18:27,829
Oh, my God! Oh, my God!

288
00:18:27,920 --> 00:18:32,215
Oh, my God, I can't... Oh, God!
I got all these magazines!

289
00:18:32,309 --> 00:18:34,394
Oh, God! Oh, God!

290
00:18:37,116 --> 00:18:43,706
- This must be Fish Stench Cove.
- Now all we gotta do is find the fish.

291
00:18:43,805 --> 00:18:46,849
I wonder where that fish did go.

292
00:18:46,856 --> 00:18:50,402
A fish, a fish, a fishy-o!

293
00:19:00,651 --> 00:19:05,031
I heard that when Daggermouth eats you,
he devours your guts first.

294
00:19:05,041 --> 00:19:09,503
I heard he doesn't just eat you,
he eats your soul.

295
00:19:09,639 --> 00:19:14,311
I heard that one of Shannon Doherty's eyes
is off-centre cos it's trying to escape.

296
00:19:14,447 --> 00:19:17,158
Welcome, gentlemen.

297
00:19:17,247 --> 00:19:20,709
- Agh!
- It's him! Quick, shoot him!

298
00:19:20,801 --> 00:19:24,680
Not so fast! Perhaps I could
offer you a glass of port.

299
00:19:24,772 --> 00:19:28,109
And you, a glass of starboard.
That's a nautical joke.

300
00:19:28,242 --> 00:19:31,995
- I'm a fish. I'm also delightfully mad.
- Agh!

301
00:19:32,088 --> 00:19:34,507
Would you mind holding still for a moment?

302
00:19:34,596 --> 00:19:37,641
These antique pistols
take ten minutes to reload.

303
00:19:37,732 --> 00:19:41,277
- Peter, catch!
- Ow! Don't throw stuff at me, Joe!

304
00:19:41,411 --> 00:19:44,122
- Shoot him!
- Oh, yeah. Right.

305
00:19:48,809 --> 00:19:53,814
My God. Isn't it amazing that that's
what we all look like on the inside?

306
00:19:53,951 --> 00:19:56,871
- It's a robot, you idiot.
- Who are you?

307
00:19:56,878 --> 00:20:01,257
- I'm Salty.
- Everybody said you were killed by the fish.

308
00:20:01,267 --> 00:20:06,147
That's what I wanted. I disappeared
and spread the Daggermouth rumour myself.

309
00:20:06,283 --> 00:20:10,663
- Why?
- Merchandise. T-shirts, mugs, posters.

310
00:20:10,757 --> 00:20:13,677
I'm in talks with Nickelodeon
for a cartoon show.

311
00:20:13,809 --> 00:20:17,437
- I'd pair him with an effeminate cat.
- I'd watch that.

312
00:20:17,571 --> 00:20:19,739
- Me too.
- Sounds like a good balance.

313
00:20:19,870 --> 00:20:23,290
And now I'm gonna give you
$50,000 to be on your way.

314
00:20:23,424 --> 00:20:27,595
- $50,000? For what?
- To keep your mouth shut.

315
00:20:27,687 --> 00:20:30,398
The longer we stay here,
the more people will question

316
00:20:30,530 --> 00:20:33,033
how a fisherman
with no engineering background

317
00:20:33,122 --> 00:20:36,167
built a sophisticated talking fish robot.

318
00:20:38,138 --> 00:20:41,183
You know, honey,
I'm really sorry for how I acted.

319
00:20:41,190 --> 00:20:43,692
Getting drunk and ditching you at the bar,

320
00:20:43,782 --> 00:20:47,244
and letting those boys take pictures
of you sleeping.

321
00:20:47,252 --> 00:20:50,672
I was so busy having fun,
I guess I kind of ruined it for you.

322
00:20:50,805 --> 00:20:54,141
Uh-oh. We got company.

323
00:20:57,703 --> 00:21:01,748
- Looks like your friends are back, Mom.
- Meg! Meg! Meg! Meg!

324
00:21:01,882 --> 00:21:05,303
No, I think this one's all yours.

325
00:21:05,437 --> 00:21:09,065
- Whoo! Yeah! You go, girl!
- One's an innie and one's an outie.

326
00:21:11,790 --> 00:21:15,669
And now, back to "Daggermouth
and Boom Boom" on Nickelodeon.

327
00:21:15,762 --> 00:21:18,264
Boom Boom, did you do
your exercises today?

328
00:21:18,395 --> 00:21:22,566
Yes. I did 20 laps.
And I'm about to do 20 more.

329
00:21:22,660 --> 00:21:25,162
- Oh, you!
- Yipes!

330
00:21:28,220 --> 00:21:31,556
Peter, I'm so glad being a fisherman
is working out for you.

331
00:21:31,648 --> 00:21:35,402
I got to admit I half expected to come home,
and our stuff would be gone,

332
00:21:35,535 --> 00:21:37,620
and we'd owe somebody a lot of money.

333
00:21:37,709 --> 00:21:41,671
- How can you half expect something?
- It's just a turn of phrase.

334
00:21:41,806 --> 00:21:46,185
- How do you turn a phrase?
- God, you're dumb. Thank God for that ass.

335
00:21:46,279 --> 00:21:48,698
Now, come here and kiss me.

336
00:21:48,787 --> 00:21:50,998
- Good night, honey.
- Good night, Lois.

337
00:21:51,086 --> 00:21:53,589
- Good night, Jim and Abby.
- Good night.

338
00:21:53,720 --> 00:21:59,017
Not now, Abby.

