1
00:00:39,660 --> 00:00:42,380
- It's 4 o'clock! Away with you!
- Change it back!

2
00:00:42,495 --> 00:00:47,495
Jolly Farm Revue. The latest indoctrinating
pablum for children with not enough to do.

3
00:00:47,788 --> 00:00:50,588
Hey! Shut up!

4
00:00:55,833 --> 00:00:59,713
- Wakey wakey, children!
- Good morning, Mother Maggie.

5
00:01:00,001 --> 00:01:02,801
The sun has risen on
another day in Jolly Farm.

6
00:01:03,002 --> 00:01:06,122
Let's see what life's rich pageant
has in store for us.

7
00:01:06,336 --> 00:01:10,736
She has the voice of an angel! And
a balcony you could do Shakespeare from.

8
00:01:11,547 --> 00:01:15,267
Play your song, Melody Sheep,
to aid the little ones' nourishment.

9
00:01:15,423 --> 00:01:19,023
But play softly,
for Pengrove Pig wishes to read aloud

10
00:01:19,174 --> 00:01:22,774
from his magic tome
that holds every book ever written.

11
00:01:23,009 --> 00:01:28,129
"It was difficult for the children of Ipswich
when the lollipop famine cursed them... "

12
00:01:28,345 --> 00:01:32,945
How can you stand watching this?
It's dreck and you know it.

13
00:01:33,222 --> 00:01:37,422
Don't have the guts to respond, huh?
No defence of this unmitigated crap?

14
00:01:37,723 --> 00:01:40,523
Commercial!
I'm getting some graham crackers.

15
00:01:43,850 --> 00:01:48,370
Welcome to KISS Forum, Rhode Island Public
Access's most popular show about KISS.

16
00:01:48,560 --> 00:01:53,040
- Lois, hurry! It's back on!
- Calm down. You know I wouldn't miss this.

17
00:01:53,354 --> 00:01:55,634
OK, let's take a call.
You're on KISS Forum.

18
00:01:55,855 --> 00:01:59,055
- KISS rules! Whoo!
- OK, good call. Good call.

19
00:01:59,273 --> 00:02:01,593
All right. Hey, you're on KISS Forum.

20
00:02:01,774 --> 00:02:04,494
- Yeah. KISS sucks!
- Whoa, whoa!

21
00:02:04,608 --> 00:02:08,688
- Trace the call!
- They suck big time, man. They bite ass!

22
00:02:08,984 --> 00:02:10,984
Wait... I recognise that voice!

23
00:02:11,069 --> 00:02:14,949
Is this Dennis De Young,
lead singer from Styx? Come clean, man.

24
00:02:15,237 --> 00:02:17,837
Yeah. Yeah, it's me. It's Dennis.

25
00:02:18,029 --> 00:02:23,029
You jealous douche. How about I play
"Detroit Rock City" and "Come Sail Away"

26
00:02:23,365 --> 00:02:27,965
and let's see how they stack up side by side.
You want that, you high-voiced bastard?!

27
00:02:28,242 --> 00:02:29,962
We'll be right back after this.

28
00:02:30,742 --> 00:02:34,542
Hey, didn't see you come in.
We're getting into shape for our tour.

29
00:02:34,827 --> 00:02:37,307
We're playing five big shows in five days.

30
00:02:37,537 --> 00:02:40,137
- So if you...
- Rock and roll!

31
00:02:40,330 --> 00:02:43,730
Why don't you just
sit in the corner, huh? Go on.

32
00:02:44,498 --> 00:02:46,818
So if you're a KISS fan in the Northeast,

33
00:02:46,998 --> 00:02:50,518
come out for all five shows
of what we're calling KISS-Stock!

34
00:02:50,750 --> 00:02:56,350
Hell, the Northeast! At times like this I curse
the fact that we live in French Polynesia.

35
00:02:56,711 --> 00:03:02,111
- No, Peter, we're in the Northeast.
- Yeah? And KISS is coming to the Northeast.

36
00:03:02,421 --> 00:03:05,541
That means... uh...

37
00:03:05,672 --> 00:03:09,072
- That means...
- No, no, Lois. Don't help me.

38
00:03:09,299 --> 00:03:11,699
It means we can do something...

39
00:03:11,924 --> 00:03:14,124
Come on, Peter. You're almost there.

40
00:03:17,218 --> 00:03:19,618
We can go to KISS-Stock!

41
00:03:25,679 --> 00:03:27,279
- Yo, Lois!
- What?

42
00:03:27,430 --> 00:03:30,150
I'm packing and can't find
my favourite underwear.

43
00:03:30,265 --> 00:03:32,345
The pair with the rip in the right butt cheek

44
00:03:32,557 --> 00:03:35,957
from stepping on 'em in the airplane
bathroom when you had the trots?

45
00:03:36,100 --> 00:03:39,700
No, with the hole in the left butt cheek
from holding it in for two hours

46
00:03:39,935 --> 00:03:43,935
cos it was a long church sermon and
I thought blowing gas would offend Jesus,

47
00:03:44,228 --> 00:03:47,508
so I let it go in the vestibule
and it sounded like Louis Armstrong.

48
00:03:47,771 --> 00:03:49,251
Oh, bottom drawer.

49
00:03:49,438 --> 00:03:52,838
Tell Mother Maggie what you
want to be when you grow up.

50
00:03:53,065 --> 00:03:54,385
- A scientist.
- A novelist.

51
00:03:54,523 --> 00:03:55,523
A Cambridge don.

52
00:03:55,691 --> 00:03:58,691
What's my future, coming from
these squalid surroundings?

53
00:03:58,900 --> 00:04:00,820
Fighting with a dude at the Laundromat

54
00:04:00,984 --> 00:04:04,304
because he hit on my baby's mama?
I should be there, not here!

55
00:04:06,611 --> 00:04:08,531
London.

56
00:04:08,612 --> 00:04:12,412
Dad, can me and Meg stay up late
every night when you're at KISS-Stock?

57
00:04:12,656 --> 00:04:15,976
Do whatever you want.
Just don't eat from the candy tree.

58
00:04:16,198 --> 00:04:19,518
He's right to caution you. I feed on children.

59
00:04:20,700 --> 00:04:22,980
You don't mind
watching Stewie for a few days?

60
00:04:23,201 --> 00:04:26,601
Nah. Since Jolly Farm Revue
came on, he's been distracted.

61
00:04:26,744 --> 00:04:29,144
- It'll be a breeze.
- Bye, everyone.

62
00:04:29,245 --> 00:04:34,645
My stupid parents are spending five days
following stupid old KISS around. It's painful.

63
00:04:34,955 --> 00:04:37,475
Not as painful as a tyre iron
upside your head.

64
00:04:37,665 --> 00:04:39,865
- What?
- I'll miss you!

65
00:04:40,999 --> 00:04:43,519
Hey, Stewie, what do you want for lunch?

66
00:04:43,708 --> 00:04:47,228
"Dear stupid dog, I've gone to live
with the children on Jolly Farm. "

67
00:04:47,460 --> 00:04:49,660
"Goodbye for ever. Stewie. "

68
00:04:49,877 --> 00:04:53,877
I never got a chance to return
that sweater Lois gave me for Christmas. "

69
00:04:54,128 --> 00:04:58,248
"The receipt's on top of my bureau.
I'm probably over the 30-day return limit,

70
00:04:58,506 --> 00:05:03,506
but I'm sure if you make a fuss,
they'll give you a store credit or something. "

71
00:05:03,841 --> 00:05:06,241
"It's actually not a horrible sweater. "

72
00:05:06,425 --> 00:05:09,945
"It's just I can't imagine when
I would ever wear it. You know?"

73
00:05:10,176 --> 00:05:12,296
"I also left a button on the bureau. "

74
00:05:12,469 --> 00:05:14,469
"I'm not sure what it goes to,

75
00:05:14,678 --> 00:05:17,678
but I can never bring myself
to throw a button away. "

76
00:05:17,804 --> 00:05:22,684
"I know as soon as I do, I'll find
the garment it goes to, and then it'II... "

77
00:05:23,014 --> 00:05:28,014
"Actually, could it have been from
the sweater? Did it have buttons? Hm. "

78
00:05:28,225 --> 00:05:32,105
"I should wrap this up before I start
to ramble. OK, goodbye for ever. "

79
00:05:32,393 --> 00:05:37,073
You know, it might be chilly in London.
I'm going to take the sweater. "

80
00:05:37,395 --> 00:05:38,875
Oh, my God!

81
00:05:42,397 --> 00:05:45,197
One of these planes
must be going to London.

82
00:05:45,398 --> 00:05:47,198
Queue up, children spit-spot.

83
00:05:47,398 --> 00:05:50,598
Here are the tickets, miss. These are all ours.

84
00:05:51,566 --> 00:05:56,846
Spit-spot, Albert Hall, meat and two veg,
Big Ben, Dave Clark Five, pip-pip, cheerio.

85
00:06:14,074 --> 00:06:17,074
- Hot towel?
- Yes, thank you.

86
00:06:17,284 --> 00:06:18,684
Well, come on!

87
00:06:18,869 --> 00:06:22,069
- What the hell are you doing here?
- Taking you off this plane.

88
00:06:22,202 --> 00:06:24,482
Think again, Rover.

89
00:06:26,787 --> 00:06:31,867
Great. I'm stuck on a transatlantic flight
with a petulant runaway. Could it get worse?

90
00:06:32,207 --> 00:06:34,887
You know what I hate
about flying? The peanuts.

91
00:06:35,124 --> 00:06:39,124
First of all, you can't get 'em open.
Who are they trying to keep out of these?

92
00:06:39,292 --> 00:06:44,292
And what's with the razor-blade slot in the
bathroom? Do people really shave in there?

93
00:06:44,503 --> 00:06:49,703
Hi. Andy Dick here. Excuse me. I've got to
get my bag up in the overhead bin here. Oh!

94
00:06:49,921 --> 00:06:52,201
Whoa, no, no! Oh!

95
00:06:52,423 --> 00:06:54,703
Wow, that's wacky!

96
00:07:00,133 --> 00:07:02,813
That wasn't so bad, was it?
Did you sleep at all?

97
00:07:03,051 --> 00:07:06,731
- A little.
- I couldn't. My pillow smelled like farts.

98
00:07:07,011 --> 00:07:10,011
But that's all right because we're in England!

99
00:07:10,137 --> 00:07:12,137
Uh-oh.

100
00:07:13,972 --> 00:07:19,092
But where are its verdant fields, rosy-rumped
maidens and bucktoothed solicitors?

101
00:07:19,391 --> 00:07:22,391
About 3,000 miles that way.
We're in the Middle East.

102
00:07:23,475 --> 00:07:27,755
- Where are we going?
- I'm not familiar with this Arabian village.

103
00:07:28,060 --> 00:07:31,060
Stuff for sale!
Bad, cheaply made stuff for sale!

104
00:07:31,270 --> 00:07:33,070
Hey, Americans. You like movies?

105
00:07:33,270 --> 00:07:37,670
I've got Dude, My Car Is Not Where
I Parked It, But Praise Allah, We Are Not Hurt.

106
00:07:37,939 --> 00:07:41,139
Camels for sale!
This one owned by a little old man

107
00:07:41,398 --> 00:07:45,198
who only drove it to mosque on Sundays.
Just had its knees replaced.

108
00:07:45,442 --> 00:07:49,362
- Buy one and let's get out of here.
- Buy one? All I've got is 50 bucks.

109
00:07:49,610 --> 00:07:52,010
We'll have to distract him. Follow my lead.

110
00:07:54,945 --> 00:07:59,625
"You and I are so awfully different

111
00:07:59,948 --> 00:08:04,348
"Too awfully different to ever be pals

112
00:08:04,532 --> 00:08:06,332
- Do you want to go first?
- Yeah.

113
00:08:06,408 --> 00:08:10,288
"Your favourite hero
is the Marquis de Sade

114
00:08:10,576 --> 00:08:11,776
You're one to talk.

115
00:08:11,909 --> 00:08:15,029
"You get a stiffie from Phylicia Rashad

116
00:08:15,244 --> 00:08:16,044
Oh, one time.

117
00:08:16,203 --> 00:08:20,403
"I've a style flair, just look at my hip hair

118
00:08:20,664 --> 00:08:23,184
- That's quite a nice do there.
- Oh, thanks.

119
00:08:23,372 --> 00:08:25,172
- For me to poop on!
- What?

120
00:08:25,374 --> 00:08:27,654
- You look like Charlie Brown.
- Bite me, Snoopy.

121
00:08:27,874 --> 00:08:33,474
"There's not a whole lot
that we've got to agree on

122
00:08:33,793 --> 00:08:37,513
"Cos I love the strains of a classical score

123
00:08:37,753 --> 00:08:41,953
"And I like that singer
who looks like a whore

124
00:08:42,255 --> 00:08:43,655
- Ricky Martin?
- Love him!

125
00:08:43,797 --> 00:08:47,797
"We're too different to ever be pals!

126
00:08:48,090 --> 00:08:50,170
- " You and I are...
- " Doo doo doo

127
00:08:50,383 --> 00:08:52,863
- " So awfully different...
- " Doo doo doo

128
00:08:53,091 --> 00:08:55,491
- " Too awfully different...
- " Doo doo doo

129
00:08:55,676 --> 00:08:59,476
- " To ever be pals...
- " Doo doo doo doo doo doo dooie doo

130
00:08:59,761 --> 00:09:03,361
"Your head's as massive as a meteorite

131
00:09:03,596 --> 00:09:04,916
Oh, very funny.

132
00:09:04,971 --> 00:09:08,771
"You have a weenie
like a Christmas-tree light

133
00:09:09,014 --> 00:09:14,014
"I'd bet money you'll marry a honey

134
00:09:14,349 --> 00:09:18,349
"Who's pretty and funny,
and her name'll be Ted

135
00:09:18,601 --> 00:09:20,721
- A gay joke.
- I work with what you give me.

136
00:09:20,894 --> 00:09:26,614
"You might think we're in sync,
but we stink as a duo

137
00:09:26,937 --> 00:09:30,537
"Cos you get a kick out of carnage and guts

138
00:09:30,814 --> 00:09:33,814
"And you get a kick out of stroking your...

139
00:09:33,940 --> 00:09:36,220
- You can't say that on TV!
- What? Ego?

140
00:09:36,441 --> 00:09:42,041
"We're too different to ever be pals

141
00:09:49,571 --> 00:09:52,571
Oh, man, we're screwed.
We're lost in the desert.

142
00:09:52,697 --> 00:09:55,777
We have no food, no water.
Our camel is dead from exhaustion.

143
00:09:56,031 --> 00:09:59,031
And I had named him
and given him a back story.

144
00:09:59,241 --> 00:10:03,161
Chucky had the biggest hump of
all the local camels, and was picked on for it.

145
00:10:03,409 --> 00:10:08,129
Then there was a drought, and Chucky went
to the oasis at great risk cos he was like that.

146
00:10:08,411 --> 00:10:12,931
He drank and stored enough water
in his massive hump to slake the thirst of...

147
00:10:13,121 --> 00:10:15,121
Cut the maudlin crap. We're in trouble.

148
00:10:15,289 --> 00:10:19,089
It's below freezing and getting colder.
We're gonna die unless...

149
00:10:19,374 --> 00:10:21,854
- Unless we do something drastic.
- What?

150
00:10:22,082 --> 00:10:25,762
We have to slice open our camel's stomach
and shelter in his entrails.

151
00:10:26,042 --> 00:10:28,042
Eviscerate Chucky?! I won't do it!

152
00:10:28,210 --> 00:10:31,130
- We'll die if we don't.
- All right.

153
00:10:33,545 --> 00:10:36,945
Oh, God! It's like Orson Welles's autopsy!

154
00:10:37,172 --> 00:10:40,092
All right, just hold your breath and go.

155
00:10:40,298 --> 00:10:43,618
- What are you doing?
- Wiping my feet. I don't want to track sand in.

156
00:10:43,841 --> 00:10:47,361
Once you get it in there, you can't get it out.

157
00:10:47,592 --> 00:10:51,512
Oh, God!
I just threw up in his lung!

158
00:10:51,677 --> 00:10:56,557
I know it's gross, but when you're staring
death in the face, you have no choice but to...

159
00:10:56,888 --> 00:10:58,488
Oh. There's a Comfort Inn.

160
00:10:58,638 --> 00:11:00,638
- Really?
- Yeah. Good luck for us, huh?

161
00:11:00,848 --> 00:11:04,128
Actually, once you feng-shui the organs,
it's kind of cosy.

162
00:11:09,601 --> 00:11:12,481
- Isn't this exciting?
- Hey, anyone got a light?

163
00:11:13,561 --> 00:11:14,561
Thanks.

164
00:11:14,686 --> 00:11:18,606
- Look. There's Dave and Dottie, the nudists.
- Hey there, Griffins!

165
00:11:18,854 --> 00:11:23,054
- Dave, Dottie, what a pleasant surprise!
- You're KISS freaks, too?

166
00:11:23,355 --> 00:11:25,955
KISS Army soldier since 1977.
How about you?

167
00:11:26,065 --> 00:11:29,665
'76. I don't think anyone
knows more about KISS than I do.

168
00:11:30,650 --> 00:11:32,850
- What was that?
- It's not important.

169
00:11:33,025 --> 00:11:37,145
- Let him answer.
- No one knows more about KISS than I do.

170
00:11:37,319 --> 00:11:40,999
- Keep it civil.
- I'm not sure I like the tone of your voice.

171
00:11:41,278 --> 00:11:44,678
- Well, throw down.
- Name Gene's special-effects mentor.

172
00:11:44,822 --> 00:11:47,622
Amaze-O the magician.
What school did Paul go to?

173
00:11:47,823 --> 00:11:50,143
New York High School of Music.
Their band before KISS?

174
00:11:50,323 --> 00:11:53,243
Wicked Lester. What year were KISS on
The Jim Nabors Halloween Special?

175
00:11:53,450 --> 00:11:55,770
Trick question. It was Paul Lynde. 1975.

176
00:11:55,951 --> 00:11:59,071
Recite the ad that brought Peter
to Paul and Gene's attention.

177
00:11:59,286 --> 00:12:02,806
"Drummer willing to do anything to make it. "
Rolling Stone, October, 1972.

178
00:12:03,036 --> 00:12:05,036
- Exemplary!
- Rock and roll!

179
00:12:07,956 --> 00:12:10,356
How in the hell are we gonna get out of here?

180
00:12:10,456 --> 00:12:12,856
- Are you going to finish your red paste?
- No.

181
00:12:13,041 --> 00:12:15,841
- What about your sweet, crusty thing?
- Have it.

182
00:12:16,084 --> 00:12:19,764
No more balloon for you! I am sick
of you tooling around the village in it,

183
00:12:20,043 --> 00:12:24,843
honking at the girls, blasting your 1980s
American rock music that we got last week.

184
00:12:25,129 --> 00:12:26,849
- But, Father!
- Go to your palace!

185
00:12:27,004 --> 00:12:29,004
- You know what I'm thinking?
- Yes.

186
00:12:29,213 --> 00:12:33,693
Just wait until they have to
suffer through Jesus Jones. Pee-yew!

187
00:12:34,007 --> 00:12:37,407
- Not that. The balloon!
- Oh, yes. The balloon. Let's take it.

188
00:12:39,008 --> 00:12:42,408
- I didn't know it really looked like that.
- Neither did I.

189
00:12:43,385 --> 00:12:45,385
Such lovely printing, too.

190
00:12:49,846 --> 00:12:51,846
Oh, Lois, here comes the best part.

191
00:12:58,391 --> 00:13:00,991
"And have a wonderful... time

192
00:13:02,434 --> 00:13:04,954
Is that it? No, no, it's...

193
00:13:05,143 --> 00:13:08,463
"And... something something... all day

194
00:13:08,603 --> 00:13:09,483
Right?

195
00:13:09,644 --> 00:13:13,644
- Oh, man. I've lost all faith in mankind.
- Music is dead to me now.

196
00:13:13,813 --> 00:13:16,693
- Hey, now's our chance!
- Let's do it!

197
00:13:28,485 --> 00:13:30,085
Where the hell are we?

198
00:13:32,862 --> 00:13:35,782
Pope... Pope!

199
00:13:35,987 --> 00:13:39,987
- It's time to get up and put on your hat.
- It's a stupid hat!

200
00:13:40,281 --> 00:13:43,481
- Pope!
- All right, OK. God!

201
00:13:45,700 --> 00:13:48,900
- Pope, the floor is not a hamper.
- Man!

202
00:13:49,118 --> 00:13:52,118
It's time to go on the balcony
and address the people.

203
00:13:54,745 --> 00:13:56,265
Aargh!

204
00:14:01,748 --> 00:14:04,548
We gotta find the American Embassy
to help us get home.

205
00:14:04,748 --> 00:14:07,868
I have no intention of
returning to that disgusting hovel

206
00:14:08,083 --> 00:14:12,003
with that intolerable woman,
that fat slob and that insufferable dog.

207
00:14:12,251 --> 00:14:16,571
Oh, you're right here, aren't you?
I stand by it. My future is with Jolly Farm!

208
00:14:16,836 --> 00:14:19,236
- You really think that, don't you?
- I know it.

209
00:14:19,462 --> 00:14:22,662
We've got three days
until Peter and Lois get back.

210
00:14:22,797 --> 00:14:25,677
- Let's go to Jolly Farm.
- Now you're talking!

211
00:14:25,922 --> 00:14:31,002
You make the pope look like a fool!
God will make you pay. Smite them!

212
00:14:35,718 --> 00:14:37,918
He's cooking something up.

213
00:14:44,263 --> 00:14:46,263
I say! Brian, look. Three rows down.

214
00:14:46,430 --> 00:14:48,550
- What?
- Is that Tom Bosley?

215
00:14:48,640 --> 00:14:51,440
Why would Tom Bosley
be on a train in Switzerland?

216
00:14:51,640 --> 00:14:53,960
I'm almost certain. Tom!

217
00:14:54,891 --> 00:14:56,291
- Did he look?
- I don't know.

218
00:14:56,434 --> 00:14:59,634
If I yell, you have to watch. Tom Bosley!

219
00:14:59,893 --> 00:15:01,693
- No, it's not him.
- Oh.

220
00:15:03,728 --> 00:15:06,328
Besides its beautiful historic architecture,

221
00:15:06,563 --> 00:15:10,163
Munich was ze home of many
great writers, such as Thomas Mann.

222
00:15:10,397 --> 00:15:14,317
You'll find more on Germany's
contribution to ze arts in ze pamphlets.

223
00:15:14,482 --> 00:15:16,682
Yeah, about your pamphlet.

224
00:15:16,858 --> 00:15:21,378
I'm not seeing anything about
German history between 1939 and 1945.

225
00:15:21,569 --> 00:15:23,969
- There's a gap.
- Everyone was on vacation!

226
00:15:24,069 --> 00:15:27,069
On your left is
Munich's first city hall, erected in 15...

227
00:15:27,279 --> 00:15:30,799
What are you talking about?
Germany invaded Poland in 1939.

228
00:15:31,030 --> 00:15:35,030
- We were invited! Punch was served!
- You can't ignore those years.

229
00:15:35,323 --> 00:15:38,803
Thomas Mann fled to America
because of Naziism's hold on Germany.

230
00:15:39,075 --> 00:15:42,555
- No, he left to manage a Dairy Queen.
- That's preposterous.

231
00:15:42,826 --> 00:15:46,426
I vill hear no more insinuations
about Germans! Nothing bad happened!

232
00:15:52,913 --> 00:15:55,113
- Uh, is that a beer hall?
- Oh, yes.

233
00:15:55,331 --> 00:15:57,811
Munich is renowned
for its historic beer halls.

234
00:16:01,041 --> 00:16:04,961
- Why is everybody glaring at us?
- Why, Lois? I'll tell you why.

235
00:16:05,209 --> 00:16:07,929
Your faux pas at the concert
was so upsetting,

236
00:16:08,127 --> 00:16:11,927
I had to call a professor to tell me
what phrase to use to describe it.

237
00:16:12,212 --> 00:16:14,612
- Use "faux pas".
- Thanks, Professor.

238
00:16:14,713 --> 00:16:18,993
You've lived a lie all these years.
You represented yourself as a KISS fan.

239
00:16:19,297 --> 00:16:22,897
- And why? To make me look foolish!
- No, to make you happy.

240
00:16:23,132 --> 00:16:28,132
I wanted to share in all aspects of your life,
but I just was never that big a KISS fan.

241
00:16:28,467 --> 00:16:31,747
I should've guessed when you were
willing to dress as Peter Criss.

242
00:16:32,010 --> 00:16:34,810
No one wants to be Peter Criss,
not even Peter Criss!

243
00:16:35,012 --> 00:16:38,012
I guess I'm just not
as cool as you thought I was.

244
00:16:38,263 --> 00:16:40,743
I guess not.

245
00:16:43,348 --> 00:16:45,868
I'm exhausted. Come on, let's get a coffee.

246
00:16:49,601 --> 00:16:53,601
- The smoke is so acrid.
- A man can hardly breathe in here.

247
00:16:53,894 --> 00:16:56,974
You should get some hash, man.
You can't go wrong.

248
00:16:57,228 --> 00:17:00,828
Not true. Ground meat can go
very wrong for me very quickly,

249
00:17:01,063 --> 00:17:03,183
and everyone will suffer the consequences!

250
00:17:03,273 --> 00:17:05,673
You are out there, man, in the ether.

251
00:17:05,773 --> 00:17:09,653
I'd love to further pursue our palaver,
but I'm not fluent in "freaker"!

252
00:17:09,941 --> 00:17:14,021
So, I'm just gonna turn back over here,
back towards my table.

253
00:17:14,318 --> 00:17:16,398
- Are you hungry?
- I wasn't when I came in.

254
00:17:16,611 --> 00:17:19,811
- But isn't that so funny? I'm getting there.
- Same here.

255
00:17:23,489 --> 00:17:27,889
I think
the only reason we die is...

256
00:17:28,073 --> 00:17:30,873
Dude, I know what
you're gonna say and I am so...

257
00:17:30,991 --> 00:17:33,591
Wait, wait, wait, wait! Shh-shh-shh-shh!

258
00:17:33,784 --> 00:17:36,304
The only reason we die

259
00:17:36,410 --> 00:17:40,610
is because we accept it as an inevitability.

260
00:17:42,662 --> 00:17:48,462
- D'you think I'll ever find the right woman?
- Oh, God! Yes, man! Dude, you're great!

261
00:17:51,832 --> 00:17:53,832
Are you ever gonna forgive me?

262
00:17:53,916 --> 00:17:58,316
Lois, I am obligated to keep loving you
so I will take my rage out on my own body.

263
00:17:58,584 --> 00:18:00,784
Let's go to Denny's.

264
00:18:02,253 --> 00:18:04,653
Oh, man! I don't believe it! KISS is here!

265
00:18:06,004 --> 00:18:09,004
We don't deserve to be
under the same roof. Let's go.

266
00:18:09,213 --> 00:18:13,133
All right. I guess I could fix us
something when we... Chaim?

267
00:18:13,381 --> 00:18:16,981
Lois! Do not address KISS
unless they address you first!

268
00:18:17,258 --> 00:18:20,658
Oh, my God! Chaim Witz? It is you!

269
00:18:20,884 --> 00:18:25,804
- Do you want me to sign the left or right?
- No, no, no. It's Lois. Lois Pewterschmidt.

270
00:18:26,094 --> 00:18:28,214
I knew you before you changed your name.

271
00:18:28,387 --> 00:18:31,107
Lois! I don't believe it! It's been ages!

272
00:18:31,305 --> 00:18:36,105
Guys, this is the girl I told you about. I knew
her before we formed KISS. Loose Lois!

273
00:18:36,432 --> 00:18:38,512
- Cool! Loose Lois!
- The legend!

274
00:18:38,724 --> 00:18:41,724
My Grand Slam
was supposed to be with sausage.

275
00:18:41,933 --> 00:18:45,253
I never realised you
were Gene Simmons, the rock star!

276
00:18:45,393 --> 00:18:47,793
You look great. Anyone nailing you now?

277
00:18:47,895 --> 00:18:50,895
Yes, my husband nails me.
This is him. Peter.

278
00:18:51,103 --> 00:18:54,903
- You... are... gods!
- Yeah, thanks. Right.

279
00:18:55,188 --> 00:18:57,268
We're recording in Boston next month.

280
00:18:57,481 --> 00:19:00,481
- You should come on by.
- Oh, we'd love that, Chaim.

281
00:19:00,691 --> 00:19:04,491
I mean Gene, you big rock star. Bye.

282
00:19:04,776 --> 00:19:09,976
Oh, wow! Such a small world.
He was a nice boy, and he's still nice.

283
00:19:10,278 --> 00:19:14,798
Listen, Lois, what I said before...
I've never been more wrong in my life.

284
00:19:15,071 --> 00:19:17,191
You are the coolest girl in the world!

285
00:19:17,364 --> 00:19:20,084
- My wife did KISS!
- And J Geils.

286
00:19:20,281 --> 00:19:21,401
- What?
- Nothing.

287
00:19:21,449 --> 00:19:25,249
There it is! The BBC!

288
00:19:28,326 --> 00:19:30,726
This is it. I'll say goodbye to you now.

289
00:19:30,910 --> 00:19:34,110
- Well, have a good life, Stewie.
- Oh, I shall!

290
00:19:34,870 --> 00:19:38,470
Hey, did you ever find out
what that button on my bureau was from?

291
00:19:38,747 --> 00:19:42,827
- Yeah. Chris's denim jacket.
- Ah. I like that jacket. It looks good on him.

292
00:19:43,123 --> 00:19:45,123
- OK, we'll keep in touch?
- Sure.

293
00:19:45,207 --> 00:19:47,887
Well, I have your address. See ya!

294
00:19:50,208 --> 00:19:52,608
Oh! There's Happy Hill!

295
00:19:53,752 --> 00:19:55,632
What the deuce...?

296
00:19:56,878 --> 00:20:01,278
Pengrove! Pengrove Pig!
Pengrove, I've come to live on Jolly Farm!

297
00:20:01,546 --> 00:20:03,746
Oh, my! The magic tome!

298
00:20:03,964 --> 00:20:08,644
It's cardboard! There are no words, there
are just... What is it you've drawn here?

299
00:20:08,966 --> 00:20:13,566
It's Oswald Owl slammin'
Mother Maggie in a Chinese basket, eh?

300
00:20:13,759 --> 00:20:15,759
Dead brill, eh?

301
00:20:17,511 --> 00:20:22,191
- Mother Maggie, something's terribly wrong!
- Whose stinky brat is this?

302
00:20:22,512 --> 00:20:26,112
That's not your voice! Your voice
is lyrical, like the strum of a lute!

303
00:20:26,347 --> 00:20:28,667
Piss off, ya grotty little wanker!

304
00:20:29,682 --> 00:20:34,602
- It's a fake! It's not real!
- I thought you should find out on your own.

305
00:20:34,809 --> 00:20:37,609
I feel like such a fool. Don't even look at me!

306
00:20:37,727 --> 00:20:43,007
Hey, come on. You wanna get some
ice cream? That'd make you feel better, right?

307
00:20:43,353 --> 00:20:46,233
You wanna get some McDonald's?

308
00:20:46,480 --> 00:20:49,560
You wanna take a dump
in Mother Maggie's shoes?

309
00:20:49,815 --> 00:20:53,215
OK, let's go take a dump
in Mother Maggie's shoes.

310
00:20:56,691 --> 00:21:01,971
- Jolly Farm, Stewie. Don't you wanna watch?
- The Stewie who loved Jolly Farm is dead.

311
00:21:02,319 --> 00:21:04,719
Meet the Stewie who loves funky fruit hats!

312
00:21:08,029 --> 00:21:10,349
Oh, turn it up! Mom and Dad are on!

313
00:21:10,531 --> 00:21:15,331
We're back with KISS Forum. I'm with the
Griffins, and they got something to share.

314
00:21:15,657 --> 00:21:18,457
- Yeah. My wife here did KISS.
- Get outta here!

315
00:21:18,574 --> 00:21:21,974
- Hand to God.
- Peter! How does that make you feel?

316
00:21:22,201 --> 00:21:25,401
I feel like I've done KISS, too.
And it feels good.

317
00:21:25,661 --> 00:21:28,861
Lois, you got any tips for
the young girls in the audience?

318
00:21:28,995 --> 00:21:31,195
The best advice I can give is,

319
00:21:31,371 --> 00:21:35,371
you never know who's gonna grow up
to be famous, so make yourself available.

320
00:21:35,664 --> 00:21:41,664
Cool. Well, that's our show for tonight.
Stay tuned for Battlestar Galactica Forum.

321
00:21:42,000 --> 00:21:44,200
Welcome to Battlestar Galactica Forum.

