1
00:00:37,760 --> 00:00:40,479
- It's 4 o'clock! Away with you!
- Change it back!

2
00:00:40,479 --> 00:00:45,478
Jolly Farm Revue. The latest indoctrinating
pablum for children with not enough to do.

3
00:00:45,558 --> 00:00:48,358
Hey! Shut up!

4
00:00:53,277 --> 00:00:57,156
- Wakey wakey, children!
- Good morning, Mother Maggie.

5
00:00:57,276 --> 00:01:00,075
The sun has risen on
another day in Jolly Farm.

6
00:01:00,155 --> 00:01:03,275
Let's see what life's rich pageant
has in store for us.

7
00:01:03,355 --> 00:01:07,754
She has the voice of an angel! And
a balcony you could do Shakespeare from.

8
00:01:08,354 --> 00:01:12,073
Play your song, Melody Sheep,
to aid the little ones' nourishment.

9
00:01:12,073 --> 00:01:15,672
But play softly,
for Pengrove Pig wishes to read aloud

10
00:01:15,672 --> 00:01:19,271
from his magic tome
that holds every book ever written.

11
00:01:19,351 --> 00:01:24,470
"It was difficult for the children of Ipswich
when the lollipop famine cursed them... "

12
00:01:24,470 --> 00:01:29,069
How can you stand watching this?
It's dreck and you know it.

13
00:01:29,149 --> 00:01:33,349
Don't have the guts to respond, huh?
No defence of this unmitigated crap?

14
00:01:33,469 --> 00:01:36,268
Commercial!
I'm getting some graham crackers.

15
00:01:39,347 --> 00:01:43,866
Welcome to KISS Forum, Rhode Island Public
Access's most popular show about KISS.

16
00:01:43,866 --> 00:01:48,346
- Lois, hurry! It's back on!
- Calm down. You know I wouldn't miss this.

17
00:01:48,466 --> 00:01:50,745
OK, let's take a call.
You're on KISS Forum.

18
00:01:50,865 --> 00:01:54,064
- KISS rules! Whoo!
- OK, good call. Good call.

19
00:01:54,144 --> 00:01:56,464
All right. Hey, you're on KISS Forum.

20
00:01:56,544 --> 00:01:59,263
- Yeah. KISS sucks!
- Whoa, whoa!

21
00:01:59,263 --> 00:02:03,342
- Trace the call!
- They suck big time, man. They bite ass!

22
00:02:03,462 --> 00:02:05,462
Wait... I recognise that voice!

23
00:02:05,462 --> 00:02:09,341
Is this Dennis De Young,
lead singer from Styx? Come clean, man.

24
00:02:09,461 --> 00:02:12,061
Yeah. Yeah, it's me. It's Dennis.

25
00:02:12,141 --> 00:02:17,140
You jealous douche. How about I play
"Detroit Rock City" and "Come Sail Away"

26
00:02:17,260 --> 00:02:21,859
and let's see how they stack up side by side.
You want that, you high-voiced bastard?!

27
00:02:21,939 --> 00:02:23,658
We'll be right back after this.

28
00:02:24,338 --> 00:02:28,137
Hey, didn't see you come in.
We're getting into shape for our tour.

29
00:02:28,257 --> 00:02:30,737
We're playing five big shows in five days.

30
00:02:30,857 --> 00:02:33,456
- So if you...
- Rock and roll!

31
00:02:33,536 --> 00:02:36,936
Why don't you just
sit in the corner, huh? Go on.

32
00:02:37,535 --> 00:02:39,855
So if you're a KISS fan in the Northeast,

33
00:02:39,935 --> 00:02:43,454
come out for all five shows
of what we're calling KISS-Stock!

34
00:02:43,534 --> 00:02:49,133
Hell, the Northeast! At times like this I curse
the fact that we live in French Polynesia.

35
00:02:49,253 --> 00:02:54,652
- No, Peter, we're in the Northeast.
- Yeah? And KISS is coming to the Northeast.

36
00:02:54,732 --> 00:02:57,851
That means... uh...

37
00:02:57,851 --> 00:03:01,251
- That means...
- No, no, Lois. Don't help me.

38
00:03:01,331 --> 00:03:03,730
It means we can do something...

39
00:03:03,850 --> 00:03:06,050
Come on, Peter. You're almost there.

40
00:03:08,929 --> 00:03:11,329
We can go to KISS-Stock!

41
00:03:17,047 --> 00:03:18,647
- Yo, Lois!
- What?

42
00:03:18,727 --> 00:03:21,446
I'm packing and can't find
my favourite underwear.

43
00:03:21,446 --> 00:03:23,526
The pair with the rip in the right butt cheek

44
00:03:23,646 --> 00:03:27,045
from stepping on 'em in the airplane
bathroom when you had the trots?

45
00:03:27,045 --> 00:03:30,645
No, with the hole in the left butt cheek
from holding it in for two hours

46
00:03:30,725 --> 00:03:34,724
cos it was a long church sermon and
I thought blowing gas would offend Jesus,

47
00:03:34,844 --> 00:03:38,123
so I let it go in the vestibule
and it sounded like Louis Armstrong.

48
00:03:38,243 --> 00:03:39,723
Oh, bottom drawer.

49
00:03:39,843 --> 00:03:43,242
Tell Mother Maggie what you
want to be when you grow up.

50
00:03:43,322 --> 00:03:44,642
- A scientist.
- A novelist.

51
00:03:44,722 --> 00:03:45,722
A Cambridge don.

52
00:03:45,841 --> 00:03:48,841
What's my future, coming from
these squalid surroundings?

53
00:03:48,921 --> 00:03:50,840
Fighting with a dude at the Laundromat

54
00:03:50,920 --> 00:03:54,240
because he hit on my baby's mama?
I should be there, not here!

55
00:03:56,319 --> 00:03:58,239
London.

56
00:03:58,239 --> 00:04:02,038
Dad, can me and Meg stay up late
every night when you're at KISS-Stock?

57
00:04:02,118 --> 00:04:05,437
Do whatever you want.
Just don't eat from the candy tree.

58
00:04:05,517 --> 00:04:08,837
He's right to caution you. I feed on children.

59
00:04:09,837 --> 00:04:12,116
You don't mind
watching Stewie for a few days?

60
00:04:12,236 --> 00:04:15,635
Nah. Since Jolly Farm Revue
came on, he's been distracted.

61
00:04:15,635 --> 00:04:18,035
- It'll be a breeze.
- Bye, everyone.

62
00:04:18,035 --> 00:04:23,434
My stupid parents are spending five days
following stupid old KISS around. It's painful.

63
00:04:23,514 --> 00:04:26,033
Not as painful as a tyre iron
upside your head.

64
00:04:26,113 --> 00:04:28,313
- What?
- I'll miss you!

65
00:04:29,313 --> 00:04:31,832
Hey, Stewie, what do you want for lunch?

66
00:04:31,912 --> 00:04:35,431
"Dear stupid dog, I've gone to live
with the children on Jolly Farm. "

67
00:04:35,511 --> 00:04:37,711
"Goodbye for ever. Stewie. "

68
00:04:37,831 --> 00:04:41,830
I never got a chance to return
that sweater Lois gave me for Christmas. "

69
00:04:41,910 --> 00:04:46,029
"The receipt's on top of my bureau.
I'm probably over the 30-day return limit,

70
00:04:46,109 --> 00:04:51,108
but I'm sure if you make a fuss,
they'll give you a store credit or something. "

71
00:04:51,228 --> 00:04:53,628
"It's actually not a horrible sweater. "

72
00:04:53,708 --> 00:04:57,227
"It's just I can't imagine when
I would ever wear it. You know?"

73
00:04:57,307 --> 00:04:59,426
"I also left a button on the bureau. "

74
00:04:59,506 --> 00:05:01,506
"I'm not sure what it goes to,

75
00:05:01,626 --> 00:05:04,625
but I can never bring myself
to throw a button away. "

76
00:05:04,625 --> 00:05:09,504
"I know as soon as I do, I'll find
the garment it goes to, and then it'II... "

77
00:05:09,624 --> 00:05:14,623
"Actually, could it have been from
the sweater? Did it have buttons? Hm. "

78
00:05:14,623 --> 00:05:18,503
"I should wrap this up before I start
to ramble. OK, goodbye for ever. "

79
00:05:18,622 --> 00:05:23,302
You know, it might be chilly in London.
I'm going to take the sweater. "

80
00:05:23,422 --> 00:05:24,901
Oh, my God!

81
00:05:28,221 --> 00:05:31,020
One of these planes
must be going to London.

82
00:05:31,100 --> 00:05:32,900
Queue up, children spit-spot.

83
00:05:33,020 --> 00:05:36,219
Here are the tickets, miss. These are all ours.

84
00:05:37,019 --> 00:05:42,298
Spit-spot, Albert Hall, meat and two veg,
Big Ben, Dave Clark Five, pip-pip, cheerio.

85
00:05:58,614 --> 00:06:01,614
- Hot towel?
- Yes, thank you.

86
00:06:01,694 --> 00:06:03,093
Well, come on!

87
00:06:03,213 --> 00:06:06,413
- What the hell are you doing here?
- Taking you off this plane.

88
00:06:06,413 --> 00:06:08,692
Think again, Rover.

89
00:06:10,812 --> 00:06:15,891
Great. I'm stuck on a transatlantic flight
with a petulant runaway. Could it get worse?

90
00:06:16,011 --> 00:06:18,690
You know what I hate
about flying? The peanuts.

91
00:06:18,810 --> 00:06:22,809
First of all, you can't get 'em open.
Who are they trying to keep out of these?

92
00:06:22,809 --> 00:06:27,808
And what's with the razor-blade slot in the
bathroom? Do people really shave in there?

93
00:06:27,808 --> 00:06:33,007
Hi. Andy Dick here. Excuse me. I've got to
get my bag up in the overhead bin here. Oh!

94
00:06:33,007 --> 00:06:35,287
Whoa, no, no! Oh!

95
00:06:35,407 --> 00:06:37,686
Wow, that's wacky!

96
00:06:42,805 --> 00:06:45,485
That wasn't so bad, was it?
Did you sleep at all?

97
00:06:45,605 --> 00:06:49,284
- A little.
- I couldn't. My pillow smelled like farts.

98
00:06:49,404 --> 00:06:52,403
But that's all right because we're in England!

99
00:06:52,403 --> 00:06:54,403
Uh-oh.

100
00:06:56,083 --> 00:07:01,201
But where are its verdant fields, rosy-rumped
maidens and bucktoothed solicitors?

101
00:07:01,281 --> 00:07:04,281
About 3,000 miles that way.
We're in the Middle East.

102
00:07:05,201 --> 00:07:09,480
- Where are we going?
- I'm not familiar with this Arabian village.

103
00:07:09,600 --> 00:07:12,599
Stuff for sale!
Bad, cheaply made stuff for sale!

104
00:07:12,679 --> 00:07:14,479
Hey, Americans. You like movies?

105
00:07:14,599 --> 00:07:18,998
I've got Dude, My Car Is Not Where
I Parked It, But Praise Allah, We Are Not Hurt.

106
00:07:19,078 --> 00:07:22,277
Camels for sale!
This one owned by a little old man

107
00:07:22,397 --> 00:07:26,196
who only drove it to mosque on Sundays.
Just had its knees replaced.

108
00:07:26,276 --> 00:07:30,196
- Buy one and let's get out of here.
- Buy one? All I've got is 50 bucks.

109
00:07:30,276 --> 00:07:32,675
We'll have to distract him. Follow my lead.

110
00:07:35,394 --> 00:07:40,074
"You and I are so awfully different

111
00:07:40,194 --> 00:07:44,593
"Too awfully different to ever be pals

112
00:07:44,593 --> 00:07:46,392
- Do you want to go first?
- Yeah.

113
00:07:46,392 --> 00:07:50,271
"Your favourite hero
is the Marquis de Sade

114
00:07:50,391 --> 00:07:51,591
You're one to talk.

115
00:07:51,671 --> 00:07:54,791
"You get a stiffie from Phylicia Rashad

116
00:07:54,870 --> 00:07:55,670
Oh, one time.

117
00:07:55,790 --> 00:07:59,989
"I've a style flair, just look at my hip hair

118
00:08:00,069 --> 00:08:02,589
- That's quite a nice do there.
- Oh, thanks.

119
00:08:02,669 --> 00:08:04,469
- For me to poop on!
- What?

120
00:08:04,589 --> 00:08:06,868
- You look like Charlie Brown.
- Bite me, Snoopy.

121
00:08:06,988 --> 00:08:12,587
"There's not a whole lot
that we've got to agree on

122
00:08:12,667 --> 00:08:16,386
"Cos I love the strains of a classical score

123
00:08:16,466 --> 00:08:20,665
"And I like that singer
who looks like a whore

124
00:08:20,785 --> 00:08:22,185
- Ricky Martin?
- Love him!

125
00:08:22,265 --> 00:08:26,264
"We're too different to ever be pals!

126
00:08:26,384 --> 00:08:28,464
- " You and I are...
- " Doo doo doo

127
00:08:28,584 --> 00:08:31,063
- " So awfully different...
- " Doo doo doo

128
00:08:31,183 --> 00:08:33,583
- " Too awfully different...
- " Doo doo doo

129
00:08:33,663 --> 00:08:37,462
- " To ever be pals...
- " Doo doo doo doo doo doo dooie doo

130
00:08:37,582 --> 00:08:41,181
"Your head's as massive as a meteorite

131
00:08:41,261 --> 00:08:42,581
Oh, very funny.

132
00:08:42,581 --> 00:08:46,380
"You have a weenie
like a Christmas-tree light

133
00:08:46,460 --> 00:08:51,459
"I'd bet money you'll marry a honey

134
00:08:51,579 --> 00:08:55,578
"Who's pretty and funny,
and her name'll be Ted

135
00:08:55,658 --> 00:08:57,778
- A gay joke.
- I work with what you give me.

136
00:08:57,858 --> 00:09:03,576
"You might think we're in sync,
but we stink as a duo

137
00:09:03,656 --> 00:09:07,256
"Cos you get a kick out of carnage and guts

138
00:09:07,376 --> 00:09:10,375
"And you get a kick out of stroking your...

139
00:09:10,375 --> 00:09:12,655
- You can't say that on TV!
- What? Ego?

140
00:09:12,775 --> 00:09:18,373
"We're too different to ever be pals

141
00:09:25,372 --> 00:09:28,371
Oh, man, we're screwed.
We're lost in the desert.

142
00:09:28,371 --> 00:09:31,451
We have no food, no water.
Our camel is dead from exhaustion.

143
00:09:31,571 --> 00:09:34,570
And I had named him
and given him a back story.

144
00:09:34,650 --> 00:09:38,569
Chucky had the biggest hump of
all the local camels, and was picked on for it.

145
00:09:38,649 --> 00:09:43,368
Then there was a drought, and Chucky went
to the oasis at great risk cos he was like that.

146
00:09:43,448 --> 00:09:47,967
He drank and stored enough water
in his massive hump to slake the thirst of...

147
00:09:47,967 --> 00:09:49,967
Cut the maudlin crap. We're in trouble.

148
00:09:50,047 --> 00:09:53,846
It's below freezing and getting colder.
We're gonna die unless...

149
00:09:53,966 --> 00:09:56,446
- Unless we do something drastic.
- What?

150
00:09:56,566 --> 00:10:00,245
We have to slice open our camel's stomach
and shelter in his entrails.

151
00:10:00,365 --> 00:10:02,364
Eviscerate Chucky?! I won't do it!

152
00:10:02,444 --> 00:10:05,364
- We'll die if we don't.
- All right.

153
00:10:07,563 --> 00:10:10,963
Oh, God! It's like Orson Welles's autopsy!

154
00:10:11,043 --> 00:10:13,962
All right, just hold your breath and go.

155
00:10:14,042 --> 00:10:17,361
- What are you doing?
- Wiping my feet. I don't want to track sand in.

156
00:10:17,441 --> 00:10:20,961
Once you get it in there, you can't get it out.

157
00:10:21,041 --> 00:10:24,960
Oh, God!
I just threw up in his lung!

158
00:10:24,960 --> 00:10:29,839
I know it's gross, but when you're staring
death in the face, you have no choice but to...

159
00:10:29,959 --> 00:10:31,558
Oh. There's a Comfort Inn.

160
00:10:31,638 --> 00:10:33,638
- Really?
- Yeah. Good luck for us, huh?

161
00:10:33,758 --> 00:10:37,037
Actually, once you feng-shui the organs,
it's kind of cosy.

162
00:10:42,156 --> 00:10:45,036
- Isn't this exciting?
- Hey, anyone got a light?

163
00:10:45,955 --> 00:10:46,955
Thanks.

164
00:10:47,035 --> 00:10:50,954
- Look. There's Dave and Dottie, the nudists.
- Hey there, Griffins!

165
00:10:51,034 --> 00:10:55,234
- Dave, Dottie, what a pleasant surprise!
- You're KISS freaks, too?

166
00:10:55,354 --> 00:10:57,953
KISS Army soldier since 1977.
How about you?

167
00:10:57,953 --> 00:11:01,552
'76. I don't think anyone
knows more about KISS than I do.

168
00:11:02,352 --> 00:11:04,552
- What was that?
- It's not important.

169
00:11:04,632 --> 00:11:08,751
- Let him answer.
- No one knows more about KISS than I do.

170
00:11:08,751 --> 00:11:12,430
- Keep it civil.
- I'm not sure I like the tone of your voice.

171
00:11:12,550 --> 00:11:15,949
- Well, throw down.
- Name Gene's special-effects mentor.

172
00:11:15,949 --> 00:11:18,749
Amaze-O the magician.
What school did Paul go to?

173
00:11:18,829 --> 00:11:21,148
New York High School of Music.
Their band before KISS?

174
00:11:21,228 --> 00:11:24,148
Wicked Lester. What year were KISS on
The Jim Nabors Halloween Special?

175
00:11:24,228 --> 00:11:26,547
Trick question. It was Paul Lynde. 1975.

176
00:11:26,627 --> 00:11:29,746
Recite the ad that brought Peter
to Paul and Gene's attention.

177
00:11:29,826 --> 00:11:33,346
"Drummer willing to do anything to make it. "
Rolling Stone, October, 1972.

178
00:11:33,426 --> 00:11:35,425
- Exemplary!
- Rock and roll!

179
00:11:38,145 --> 00:11:40,544
How in the hell are we gonna get out of here?

180
00:11:40,544 --> 00:11:42,944
- Are you going to finish your red paste?
- No.

181
00:11:43,024 --> 00:11:45,823
- What about your sweet, crusty thing?
- Have it.

182
00:11:45,943 --> 00:11:49,622
No more balloon for you! I am sick
of you tooling around the village in it,

183
00:11:49,742 --> 00:11:54,541
honking at the girls, blasting your 1980s
American rock music that we got last week.

184
00:11:54,621 --> 00:11:56,341
- But, Father!
- Go to your palace!

185
00:11:56,421 --> 00:11:58,421
- You know what I'm thinking?
- Yes.

186
00:11:58,541 --> 00:12:03,020
Just wait until they have to
suffer through Jesus Jones. Pee-yew!

187
00:12:03,140 --> 00:12:06,539
- Not that. The balloon!
- Oh, yes. The balloon. Let's take it.

188
00:12:07,939 --> 00:12:11,338
- I didn't know it really looked like that.
- Neither did I.

189
00:12:12,138 --> 00:12:14,137
Such lovely printing, too.

190
00:12:18,337 --> 00:12:20,336
Oh, Lois, here comes the best part.

191
00:12:26,535 --> 00:12:29,134
"And have a wonderful... time

192
00:12:30,414 --> 00:12:32,934
Is that it? No, no, it's...

193
00:12:33,014 --> 00:12:36,333
"And... something something... all day

194
00:12:36,333 --> 00:12:37,213
Right?

195
00:12:37,333 --> 00:12:41,332
- Oh, man. I've lost all faith in mankind.
- Music is dead to me now.

196
00:12:41,332 --> 00:12:44,211
- Hey, now's our chance!
- Let's do it!

197
00:12:55,409 --> 00:12:57,009
Where the hell are we?

198
00:12:59,608 --> 00:13:02,527
Pope... Pope!

199
00:13:02,607 --> 00:13:06,607
- It's time to get up and put on your hat.
- It's a stupid hat!

200
00:13:06,727 --> 00:13:09,926
- Pope!
- All right, OK. God!

201
00:13:11,926 --> 00:13:15,125
- Pope, the floor is not a hamper.
- Man!

202
00:13:15,205 --> 00:13:18,204
It's time to go on the balcony
and address the people.

203
00:13:20,604 --> 00:13:22,123
Aargh!

204
00:13:27,322 --> 00:13:30,122
We gotta find the American Embassy
to help us get home.

205
00:13:30,202 --> 00:13:33,321
I have no intention of
returning to that disgusting hovel

206
00:13:33,401 --> 00:13:37,320
with that intolerable woman,
that fat slob and that insufferable dog.

207
00:13:37,400 --> 00:13:41,719
Oh, you're right here, aren't you?
I stand by it. My future is with Jolly Farm!

208
00:13:41,799 --> 00:13:44,199
- You really think that, don't you?
- I know it.

209
00:13:44,319 --> 00:13:47,518
We've got three days
until Peter and Lois get back.

210
00:13:47,518 --> 00:13:50,398
- Let's go to Jolly Farm.
- Now you're talking!

211
00:13:50,518 --> 00:13:55,597
You make the pope look like a fool!
God will make you pay. Smite them!

212
00:13:59,916 --> 00:14:02,115
He's cooking something up.

213
00:14:08,114 --> 00:14:10,114
I say! Brian, look. Three rows down.

214
00:14:10,194 --> 00:14:12,313
- What?
- Is that Tom Bosley?

215
00:14:12,313 --> 00:14:15,113
Why would Tom Bosley
be on a train in Switzerland?

216
00:14:15,193 --> 00:14:17,512
I'm almost certain. Tom!

217
00:14:18,312 --> 00:14:19,712
- Did he look?
- I don't know.

218
00:14:19,792 --> 00:14:22,991
If I yell, you have to watch. Tom Bosley!

219
00:14:23,111 --> 00:14:24,911
- No, it's not him.
- Oh.

220
00:14:26,790 --> 00:14:29,390
Besides its beautiful historic architecture,

221
00:14:29,510 --> 00:14:33,109
Munich was ze home of many
great writers, such as Thomas Mann.

222
00:14:33,189 --> 00:14:37,108
You'll find more on Germany's
contribution to ze arts in ze pamphlets.

223
00:14:37,108 --> 00:14:39,308
Yeah, about your pamphlet.

224
00:14:39,388 --> 00:14:43,907
I'm not seeing anything about
German history between 1939 and 1945.

225
00:14:43,907 --> 00:14:46,306
- There's a gap.
- Everyone was on vacation!

226
00:14:46,306 --> 00:14:49,306
On your left is
Munich's first city hall, erected in 15...

227
00:14:49,386 --> 00:14:52,905
What are you talking about?
Germany invaded Poland in 1939.

228
00:14:52,985 --> 00:14:56,984
- We were invited! Punch was served!
- You can't ignore those years.

229
00:14:57,104 --> 00:15:00,583
Thomas Mann fled to America
because of Naziism's hold on Germany.

230
00:15:00,703 --> 00:15:04,183
- No, he left to manage a Dairy Queen.
- That's preposterous.

231
00:15:04,303 --> 00:15:07,902
I vill hear no more insinuations
about Germans! Nothing bad happened!

232
00:15:13,981 --> 00:15:16,180
- Uh, is that a beer hall?
- Oh, yes.

233
00:15:16,300 --> 00:15:18,780
Munich is renowned
for its historic beer halls.

234
00:15:21,779 --> 00:15:25,698
- Why is everybody glaring at us?
- Why, Lois? I'll tell you why.

235
00:15:25,778 --> 00:15:28,498
Your faux pas at the concert
was so upsetting,

236
00:15:28,578 --> 00:15:32,377
I had to call a professor to tell me
what phrase to use to describe it.

237
00:15:32,497 --> 00:15:34,896
- Use "faux pas".
- Thanks, Professor.

238
00:15:34,896 --> 00:15:39,175
You've lived a lie all these years.
You represented yourself as a KISS fan.

239
00:15:39,295 --> 00:15:42,895
- And why? To make me look foolish!
- No, to make you happy.

240
00:15:42,975 --> 00:15:47,974
I wanted to share in all aspects of your life,
but I just was never that big a KISS fan.

241
00:15:48,094 --> 00:15:51,373
I should've guessed when you were
willing to dress as Peter Criss.

242
00:15:51,493 --> 00:15:54,292
No one wants to be Peter Criss,
not even Peter Criss!

243
00:15:54,372 --> 00:15:57,372
I guess I'm just not
as cool as you thought I was.

244
00:15:57,492 --> 00:15:59,971
I guess not.

245
00:16:02,371 --> 00:16:04,890
I'm exhausted. Come on, let's get a coffee.

246
00:16:08,369 --> 00:16:12,369
- The smoke is so acrid.
- A man can hardly breathe in here.

247
00:16:12,489 --> 00:16:15,568
You should get some hash, man.
You can't go wrong.

248
00:16:15,688 --> 00:16:19,287
Not true. Ground meat can go
very wrong for me very quickly,

249
00:16:19,367 --> 00:16:21,487
and everyone will suffer the consequences!

250
00:16:21,487 --> 00:16:23,886
You are out there, man, in the ether.

251
00:16:23,886 --> 00:16:27,765
I'd love to further pursue our palaver,
but I'm not fluent in "freaker"!

252
00:16:27,885 --> 00:16:31,965
So, I'm just gonna turn back over here,
back towards my table.

253
00:16:32,085 --> 00:16:34,164
- Are you hungry?
- I wasn't when I came in.

254
00:16:34,284 --> 00:16:37,483
- But isn't that so funny? I'm getting there.
- Same here.

255
00:16:40,883 --> 00:16:45,282
I think
the only reason we die is...

256
00:16:45,282 --> 00:16:48,081
Dude, I know what
you're gonna say and I am so...

257
00:16:48,081 --> 00:16:50,681
Wait, wait, wait, wait! Shh-shh-shh-shh!

258
00:16:50,761 --> 00:16:53,280
The only reason we die

259
00:16:53,280 --> 00:16:57,479
is because we accept it as an inevitability.

260
00:16:59,279 --> 00:17:05,078
- D'you think I'll ever find the right woman?
- Oh, God! Yes, man! Dude, you're great!

261
00:17:08,077 --> 00:17:10,077
Are you ever gonna forgive me?

262
00:17:10,077 --> 00:17:14,476
Lois, I am obligated to keep loving you
so I will take my rage out on my own body.

263
00:17:14,556 --> 00:17:16,755
Let's go to Denny's.

264
00:17:18,075 --> 00:17:20,475
Oh, man! I don't believe it! KISS is here!

265
00:17:21,674 --> 00:17:24,674
We don't deserve to be
under the same roof. Let's go.

266
00:17:24,754 --> 00:17:28,673
All right. I guess I could fix us
something when we... Chaim?

267
00:17:28,753 --> 00:17:32,352
Lois! Do not address KISS
unless they address you first!

268
00:17:32,472 --> 00:17:35,872
Oh, my God! Chaim Witz? It is you!

269
00:17:35,952 --> 00:17:40,871
- Do you want me to sign the left or right?
- No, no, no. It's Lois. Lois Pewterschmidt.

270
00:17:40,950 --> 00:17:43,070
I knew you before you changed your name.

271
00:17:43,150 --> 00:17:45,869
Lois! I don't believe it! It's been ages!

272
00:17:45,949 --> 00:17:50,748
Guys, this is the girl I told you about. I knew
her before we formed KISS. Loose Lois!

273
00:17:50,868 --> 00:17:52,948
- Cool! Loose Lois!
- The legend!

274
00:17:53,068 --> 00:17:56,067
My Grand Slam
was supposed to be with sausage.

275
00:17:56,147 --> 00:17:59,467
I never realised you
were Gene Simmons, the rock star!

276
00:17:59,467 --> 00:18:01,866
You look great. Anyone nailing you now?

277
00:18:01,866 --> 00:18:04,866
Yes, my husband nails me.
This is him. Peter.

278
00:18:04,946 --> 00:18:08,745
- You... are... gods!
- Yeah, thanks. Right.

279
00:18:08,865 --> 00:18:10,944
We're recording in Boston next month.

280
00:18:11,064 --> 00:18:14,064
- You should come on by.
- Oh, we'd love that, Chaim.

281
00:18:14,144 --> 00:18:17,943
I mean Gene, you big rock star. Bye.

282
00:18:18,063 --> 00:18:23,262
Oh, wow! Such a small world.
He was a nice boy, and he's still nice.

283
00:18:23,342 --> 00:18:27,861
Listen, Lois, what I said before...
I've never been more wrong in my life.

284
00:18:27,941 --> 00:18:30,060
You are the coolest girl in the world!

285
00:18:30,140 --> 00:18:32,860
- My wife did KISS!
- And J Geils.

286
00:18:32,940 --> 00:18:34,060
- What?
- Nothing.

287
00:18:34,060 --> 00:18:37,859
There it is! The BBC!

288
00:18:40,658 --> 00:18:43,058
This is it. I'll say goodbye to you now.

289
00:18:43,138 --> 00:18:46,337
- Well, have a good life, Stewie.
- Oh, I shall!

290
00:18:46,937 --> 00:18:50,536
Hey, did you ever find out
what that button on my bureau was from?

291
00:18:50,656 --> 00:18:54,735
- Yeah. Chris's denim jacket.
- Ah. I like that jacket. It looks good on him.

292
00:18:54,855 --> 00:18:56,855
- OK, we'll keep in touch?
- Sure.

293
00:18:56,855 --> 00:18:59,534
Well, I have your address. See ya!

294
00:19:01,654 --> 00:19:04,053
Oh! There's Happy Hill!

295
00:19:05,053 --> 00:19:06,933
What the deuce...?

296
00:19:08,053 --> 00:19:12,452
Pengrove! Pengrove Pig!
Pengrove, I've come to live on Jolly Farm!

297
00:19:12,532 --> 00:19:14,731
Oh, my! The magic tome!

298
00:19:14,851 --> 00:19:19,530
It's cardboard! There are no words, there
are just... What is it you've drawn here?

299
00:19:19,650 --> 00:19:24,249
It's Oswald Owl slammin'
Mother Maggie in a Chinese basket, eh?

300
00:19:24,249 --> 00:19:26,249
Dead brill, eh?

301
00:19:27,849 --> 00:19:32,528
- Mother Maggie, something's terribly wrong!
- Whose stinky brat is this?

302
00:19:32,648 --> 00:19:36,247
That's not your voice! Your voice
is lyrical, like the strum of a lute!

303
00:19:36,327 --> 00:19:38,646
Piss off, ya grotty little wanker!

304
00:19:39,526 --> 00:19:44,445
- It's a fake! It's not real!
- I thought you should find out on your own.

305
00:19:44,445 --> 00:19:47,245
I feel like such a fool. Don't even look at me!

306
00:19:47,245 --> 00:19:52,524
Hey, come on. You wanna get some
ice cream? That'd make you feel better, right?

307
00:19:52,644 --> 00:19:55,523
You wanna get some McDonald's?

308
00:19:55,643 --> 00:19:58,722
You wanna take a dump
in Mother Maggie's shoes?

309
00:19:58,842 --> 00:20:02,242
OK, let's go take a dump
in Mother Maggie's shoes.

310
00:20:05,441 --> 00:20:10,720
- Jolly Farm, Stewie. Don't you wanna watch?
- The Stewie who loved Jolly Farm is dead.

311
00:20:10,840 --> 00:20:13,239
Meet the Stewie who loves funky fruit hats!

312
00:20:16,319 --> 00:20:18,638
Oh, turn it up! Mom and Dad are on!

313
00:20:18,718 --> 00:20:23,517
We're back with KISS Forum. I'm with the
Griffins, and they got something to share.

314
00:20:23,637 --> 00:20:26,437
- Yeah. My wife here did KISS.
- Get outta here!

315
00:20:26,437 --> 00:20:29,836
- Hand to God.
- Peter! How does that make you feel?

316
00:20:29,916 --> 00:20:33,115
I feel like I've done KISS, too.
And it feels good.

317
00:20:33,235 --> 00:20:36,435
Lois, you got any tips for
the young girls in the audience?

318
00:20:36,435 --> 00:20:38,634
The best advice I can give is,

319
00:20:38,714 --> 00:20:42,713
you never know who's gonna grow up
to be famous, so make yourself available.

320
00:20:42,833 --> 00:20:48,832
Cool. Well, that's our show for tonight.
Stay tuned for Battlestar Galactica Forum.

321
00:20:48,912 --> 00:20:51,112
Welcome to Battlestar Galactica Forum.

322
00:21:17,026 --> 00:21:19,426
Visiontext Subtitles: Karin Baker

