1
00:00:01,480 --> 00:00:04,680
"It seems today that all you see

2
00:00:04,901 --> 00:00:08,101
"Is violence in movies and sex on TV

3
00:00:08,363 --> 00:00:11,763
"But where are those
good old-fashioned values

4
00:00:11,993 --> 00:00:14,313
"On which we used to rely?

5
00:00:15,038 --> 00:00:17,918
"Lucky there's a family guy

6
00:00:18,167 --> 00:00:22,847
"Lucky there's a man who positively
can do all the things that make us

7
00:00:23,173 --> 00:00:24,853
"Laugh and cry

8
00:00:25,051 --> 00:00:29,931
"He's a family guy

9
00:00:34,521 --> 00:00:36,921
A tragic accident in the Providence area.

10
00:00:37,149 --> 00:00:40,429
A family lost their lives
when they swerved off the road

11
00:00:40,695 --> 00:00:43,575
and into a ravine, exploding on impact.

12
00:00:43,824 --> 00:00:46,104
- Do you find this funny, Tom?
- Oh, no.

13
00:00:46,327 --> 00:00:50,127
I was remembering I accidentally
put my shirt on inside out this morning.

14
00:00:50,374 --> 00:00:55,174
It's fine now, though. So what were
you saying? A fashion show?

15
00:00:55,505 --> 00:00:58,985
Turn the TV off. We gotta find
an anniversary gift for Mom and Dad.

16
00:00:59,260 --> 00:01:02,260
Don't look! We're shopping!
We're shopping!

17
00:01:02,472 --> 00:01:06,992
Kids, you don't need to do anything special
for our anniversary. Just your father.

18
00:01:07,269 --> 00:01:10,269
I hope he doesn't get you a gift
at the last minute again.

19
00:01:11,149 --> 00:01:14,829
My goodness. A human thumb.
Where did you ever find this?

20
00:01:15,112 --> 00:01:19,592
It was on e-bay.
Oh, God! Call an ambulance!

21
00:01:19,910 --> 00:01:22,110
This year, instead of exchanging gifts,

22
00:01:22,288 --> 00:01:25,808
I told him it'd be nice if we could
spend a romantic day together.

23
00:01:26,043 --> 00:01:30,843
Oh, dear. I think we all know what
that means. Boi-oi-oi-oiing. Gross.

24
00:01:33,135 --> 00:01:36,935
Hey, fellas. I got us a tee time tomorrow
at Barrington Country Club.

25
00:01:37,223 --> 00:01:39,703
- Barrington? Wow.
- I'm in.

26
00:01:39,935 --> 00:01:42,935
- Peter, tomorrow's your anniversary.
- Oh, crap!

27
00:01:43,147 --> 00:01:46,947
If Lois finds out I'm ditching her,
she'll hit me with a frying pan.

28
00:01:47,235 --> 00:01:52,515
Which is why I'm gonna drink
this frying pan antidote.

29
00:01:52,867 --> 00:01:55,747
All right, hit me with this. Didn't work.

30
00:02:13,810 --> 00:02:17,930
What the hell?
"Lois, it's an anniversary scavenger hunt. "

31
00:02:18,190 --> 00:02:23,390
"Your first clue is at the Quahog Mini-Mart.
Love, Peter. " Oh, how fun!

32
00:02:27,994 --> 00:02:31,994
Before you tee off, here are your
complimentary monogrammed bag towels,

33
00:02:32,291 --> 00:02:35,371
a sleeve of balls,
and this mobile ball cleaner.

34
00:02:40,217 --> 00:02:44,817
- Clean as a whistle, sir.
- I won't get short by touching your spit?

35
00:02:45,098 --> 00:02:48,018
You'd be the first, champ.

36
00:02:48,770 --> 00:02:53,050
- It's about time.
- Sorry, fellas. I'm not gonna be able to play.

37
00:02:53,359 --> 00:02:58,239
Loretta's mother is in town and we have
to go buy new sheets for the dog bed.

38
00:02:58,573 --> 00:03:01,573
- Cleveland!
- I mean the pull-out sofa bed.

39
00:03:01,786 --> 00:03:06,386
You could be the first black guy to play
this course. People are gonna be impressed.

40
00:03:06,708 --> 00:03:08,708
- Hey, a black guy.
- Ooh, fun.

41
00:03:08,878 --> 00:03:11,678
- Come on.
- Maybe we should play another time.

42
00:03:11,923 --> 00:03:16,603
Screw that. I busted my ass keeping Lois
busy so I could be here. Grip it and rip it.

43
00:03:16,929 --> 00:03:21,129
The fed will be lowering rates, so get
your money out of T-bills and put it all into...

44
00:03:21,393 --> 00:03:23,713
Waffles! Tasty waffles with lots of syrup!

45
00:03:23,896 --> 00:03:26,096
Waffles! Buy waffles!

46
00:03:26,316 --> 00:03:28,596
Waffles! Waffles! Waffles!

47
00:03:28,819 --> 00:03:32,619
Waffle! Waffle! Waffle! Waffle!

48
00:03:34,451 --> 00:03:37,131
OK, kids, keep your eyes peeled for a clue.

49
00:03:37,371 --> 00:03:41,451
What Jughead has done here -
and it's quite ingenious actually -

50
00:03:41,752 --> 00:03:44,152
is paint pupils on his eyelids

51
00:03:44,338 --> 00:03:48,858
so he can sleep through class
without Miss Grundy being any the wiser.

52
00:03:49,136 --> 00:03:51,536
He's sleeping.

53
00:03:51,764 --> 00:03:56,244
- Mom, I found Dad's first clue.
- I can't believe your father organised this.

54
00:03:56,562 --> 00:03:58,842
Usually he can't even handle simple tasks.

55
00:03:59,065 --> 00:04:02,545
Peter, why is there a diaper
in the lamp socket?

56
00:04:02,819 --> 00:04:06,819
Lois, he's done it again!
Wait a minute.

57
00:04:07,909 --> 00:04:09,309
Ha!

58
00:04:13,666 --> 00:04:17,066
- Let's pack it in. There's too much water.
- Let's hit the bar.

59
00:04:17,295 --> 00:04:21,895
Oh, come on. There's worse things
in life than rain. Like... like spiders.

60
00:04:22,218 --> 00:04:24,418
He's behind the door!

61
00:04:24,596 --> 00:04:29,116
Peter, he's bothering
everyone. Say something.

62
00:04:29,394 --> 00:04:32,194
I'll kick his ass.
Someone ought to kick his ass.

63
00:04:32,439 --> 00:04:34,119
Don't go in there!

64
00:04:34,316 --> 00:04:36,996
- Peter!
- All right, all right. Give me a Kleenex.

65
00:04:37,237 --> 00:04:40,037
I knew he was bad. I knew it... Aah!

66
00:04:40,240 --> 00:04:43,040
Out of me way!
They're after me Lucky Charms!

67
00:04:43,286 --> 00:04:47,166
I paid him ten bucks to say it. Classic.

68
00:04:47,458 --> 00:04:52,938
- We'll be in the clubhouse.
- Go on, run away. More golf course for me.

69
00:04:55,801 --> 00:05:00,601
That was close. That looks dangerous.
Somebody's gonna get hurt.

70
00:05:05,063 --> 00:05:07,183
Ah, it'll be fine.

71
00:05:14,449 --> 00:05:16,169
You again?!

72
00:05:20,206 --> 00:05:23,286
- Death, please don't take me now.
- Relax. You're not dying.

73
00:05:23,544 --> 00:05:26,744
- You're having a near-death experience.
- Thank God!

74
00:05:26,965 --> 00:05:31,485
Oh, yeah. Thank God I get to hang out
with a fascinating gent like yourself.

75
00:05:31,762 --> 00:05:36,162
- So, when am I gonna die?
- Two years after your wife divorces you.

76
00:05:36,476 --> 00:05:39,156
What are you talking about?
Lois would never leave me.

77
00:05:39,397 --> 00:05:42,197
She's been crazy about me
since the night we met.

78
00:05:45,321 --> 00:05:49,041
Oh, my God, that's me! Look how thin I was!

79
00:05:49,284 --> 00:05:53,804
My, this is certainly a beautiful night.
I love looking at stars.

80
00:05:54,081 --> 00:05:56,401
- Say no more.
- Peter, wait. I...

81
00:05:56,584 --> 00:06:00,184
Very interesting... but stupid.

82
00:06:00,464 --> 00:06:04,144
Oh, my God! I love Arte Johnson!

83
00:06:04,428 --> 00:06:08,708
- Then why don't you give him a kiss, huh?
- No. Peter, get away from me with that.

84
00:06:09,016 --> 00:06:13,696
- Come on. Give Arte Johnson a kiss.
- Peter, stop it. I mean it!

85
00:06:14,023 --> 00:06:15,423
Oh!

86
00:06:24,118 --> 00:06:26,118
Oh, my God!

87
00:06:30,376 --> 00:06:33,096
Oh, Peter, I hear music.

88
00:06:33,296 --> 00:06:37,496
Yeah, me too.
From now on, this'll be our song.

89
00:06:41,223 --> 00:06:43,223
Ow!

90
00:06:43,434 --> 00:06:48,034
I've never met a guy like you.
You're so full of life.

91
00:06:51,027 --> 00:06:56,227
It's like I can really be myself
with you. I'm so happy.

92
00:06:56,575 --> 00:07:00,455
- Oh, man, she was beautiful.
- This looks awfully familiar.

93
00:07:00,747 --> 00:07:02,947
Wait a second. I remember this.

94
00:07:03,125 --> 00:07:06,525
That's me! Look at all that hair.

95
00:07:06,796 --> 00:07:10,476
I can't believe I thought that looked good.
I must've been high.

96
00:07:10,759 --> 00:07:15,159
- I love you, Lois Pewterschmidt.
- I love you, Peter Griffin.

97
00:07:15,432 --> 00:07:19,552
Look at that. Huh? Huh?
There's no way she's gonna leave me.

98
00:07:20,438 --> 00:07:22,558
Now put me back in my freakin' body.

99
00:07:22,732 --> 00:07:27,532
I can't until you have a revelation.
One of those things that changes your life.

100
00:07:27,864 --> 00:07:29,944
The hell with this. I'm going home.

101
00:07:30,158 --> 00:07:34,358
- You can't get in that way.
- I'm sure as hell not going in the back door.

102
00:07:34,622 --> 00:07:39,022
Oh, crap. I don't have time for this.
Listen, I'm late for an appointment.

103
00:07:39,336 --> 00:07:42,536
If you don't want to follow
procedure, fine. Stay in limbo.

104
00:07:42,757 --> 00:07:46,077
No, no, wait, wait.
I don't want to be in limbo.

105
00:07:52,978 --> 00:07:56,378
OK. It says the next note
will be right under my nose.

106
00:07:56,649 --> 00:07:58,849
They're off!

107
00:07:59,027 --> 00:08:02,427
And quick out in front, Silver Dasher,
followed by My Nose!

108
00:08:02,698 --> 00:08:05,378
Aha! Hold my purse!

109
00:08:09,165 --> 00:08:14,045
- What's Mom doing?
- She's screwing up my six-two quinella.

110
00:08:14,379 --> 00:08:16,659
My Nose out in front,
followed by Sea Biscuit,

111
00:08:16,882 --> 00:08:19,882
followed by Some Crazy Lady
and Middle-Aged Housewife,

112
00:08:20,095 --> 00:08:23,295
followed by Wait a Minute, Who's That
and Silver Dasher.

113
00:08:23,557 --> 00:08:26,837
And now it appears there's
a woman chasing the dogs.

114
00:08:29,690 --> 00:08:33,210
- Let's go, kids!
- Tell the boys in Kansas City the bet's off.

115
00:08:33,445 --> 00:08:38,845
Too late, Stewie. The fix is in
and the noodles are boiling in the pot.

116
00:08:39,494 --> 00:08:41,814
Wait, I got it. I figured out my revelation.

117
00:08:41,997 --> 00:08:44,717
- God loves a working man.
- No!

118
00:08:44,917 --> 00:08:48,317
The Shadow is in reality Lamont Cranston,
wealthy young man.

119
00:08:48,588 --> 00:08:53,068
No! Oh, crap! I'm late. I'm in big, big trouble!

120
00:08:53,386 --> 00:08:57,666
You're shook up about that appointment.
You're Death. What are you afraid of?

121
00:08:57,975 --> 00:09:02,255
Where the hell have you been?
When I said lunch, I said noon, not noonish.

122
00:09:02,564 --> 00:09:06,764
- Sorry, Ma.
- Is sorry gonna reheat the casserole?

123
00:09:07,028 --> 00:09:10,948
- So, who's your friend?
- It's a work thing. Near-death experience.

124
00:09:11,199 --> 00:09:13,319
- Where are you going?
- To take a leak.

125
00:09:13,494 --> 00:09:18,894
Don't forget to zip up your fly. If you don't
zip up your fly, a seagull will get ya!

126
00:09:19,251 --> 00:09:22,851
God, she's a pain in the ass!
I wish Dad was still dead.

127
00:09:23,089 --> 00:09:27,289
Oh, yeah. I'll tell you, Lois's dad
was a pain in the ass when I met him.

128
00:09:33,018 --> 00:09:36,698
- Hi. Can I take my tie off yet?
- Oh, Peter, you look so wonderful.

129
00:09:36,981 --> 00:09:40,261
- You aren't nervous, are you?
- You'll know when I'm nervous.

130
00:09:40,527 --> 00:09:43,127
- Lois?
- Now.

131
00:09:43,322 --> 00:09:47,442
Take the rap for this. I only get one chance
to make a first impression.

132
00:09:48,871 --> 00:09:52,671
Hi, Daddy. That was me. And this is Peter.

133
00:09:52,918 --> 00:09:56,118
Hey, Mr Pewterschmidt.
What are you feeding this gal?

134
00:09:56,380 --> 00:09:58,380
Peter Griffin. Can I take this tie off?

135
00:09:58,550 --> 00:10:01,270
It's a pleasure.
My daughter is taken with you.

136
00:10:01,386 --> 00:10:06,986
And I'm taken with her. I mean, look at her.
Huh? Show us front and back there, Lois.

137
00:10:07,310 --> 00:10:10,310
Don't think I don't know
where that comes from.

138
00:10:10,564 --> 00:10:14,044
That's world-class juice
you got brewing in the old flesh balloon.

139
00:10:14,319 --> 00:10:17,319
- Eh? Eh? Oh, yeah.
- I'm gonna go get my purse.

140
00:10:17,531 --> 00:10:21,931
Based on what you've seen with your wife,
what can we expect in terms of droopage?

141
00:10:22,245 --> 00:10:25,725
Are we talking a slope or full-blown
fried eggs hanging on a nail?

142
00:10:26,000 --> 00:10:28,200
- What do you think of this?
- It's nice.

143
00:10:28,378 --> 00:10:30,378
- It's Etruscan.
- Get out of here.

144
00:10:30,589 --> 00:10:33,269
- No, seriously.
- Oh, that's great.

145
00:10:46,442 --> 00:10:49,442
- Hey, look. A manatee!
- We can use it for soup.

146
00:10:54,160 --> 00:10:58,440
Ensign Glen Quagmire. Welcome aboard.
You picked a great day to get rescued.

147
00:10:58,749 --> 00:11:01,949
We were just about to sing
a song about mopping.

148
00:11:02,170 --> 00:11:05,290
"We're mopping the deck
Which is Navy for "floor"

149
00:11:05,507 --> 00:11:08,507
"And when we're done mopping
We'll mop it some more

150
00:11:08,761 --> 00:11:11,961
- Oh!
- " Swab means mop, deck means floor...

151
00:11:12,182 --> 00:11:14,782
Could you tell me when
you're going back in time?

152
00:11:15,019 --> 00:11:19,899
I was talking to a robe for 20 minutes
before I realised you weren't in it.

153
00:11:20,234 --> 00:11:23,514
Ma, for God's sake,
leave me alone! I'm working!

154
00:11:23,780 --> 00:11:29,060
Don't yell at your mother! If you yell at your
mother, a hen will lay eggs in your tummy.

155
00:11:29,412 --> 00:11:32,692
- Brilliantly choreographed.
- That's your tax dollars at work.

156
00:11:32,958 --> 00:11:34,958
Why not join us and see the world?

157
00:11:35,127 --> 00:11:39,327
Sorry, pal. I've seen the world,
and its name is Lois.

158
00:11:39,632 --> 00:11:43,032
How romantic.
Why can't you find a nice girl?

159
00:11:43,262 --> 00:11:46,462
- Ma, she's gonna dump him.
- At least he got that far.

160
00:11:46,725 --> 00:11:49,605
You know who he took
to the prom? His cousin!

161
00:11:49,853 --> 00:11:51,853
- That's weak.
- Yeah.

162
00:11:52,023 --> 00:11:56,143
All right. All right, that's it!
I'm sick of both of you. Come on, Peter.

163
00:11:56,403 --> 00:11:59,603
Death, put your jacket on
or you'll get frostbite!

164
00:11:59,866 --> 00:12:03,146
- I don't have skin!
- That's cos you didn't eat your beans!

165
00:12:04,747 --> 00:12:07,747
Come on, come on.
Get back in your big, fat body.

166
00:12:08,001 --> 00:12:11,401
Why should I help you save your marriage
when I can't get a girl?

167
00:12:11,630 --> 00:12:13,750
Whoa, wait! What are you saying?

168
00:12:13,925 --> 00:12:18,045
The revelation, jackass! It could have
helped you save your marriage.

169
00:12:18,305 --> 00:12:24,225
But too late. Oh, and by the way, when the
lightning hit you, you soiled yourself. Enjoy.

170
00:12:24,563 --> 00:12:27,763
Wait, wait. I can't lose Lois!
Please, I'll do anything.

171
00:12:28,025 --> 00:12:33,705
- What if... what if I helped you get a girl?
- Really? You think you could do that?

172
00:12:34,075 --> 00:12:38,155
All we gotta do is get you fixed up.
Get your hair cut, give you a good, clean...

173
00:12:41,792 --> 00:12:44,272
...shave, cologne... Chicks'll be all over you.

174
00:12:44,504 --> 00:12:47,584
- Gee! You really think so?
- Absolutely.

175
00:12:54,516 --> 00:12:57,796
You got any SPF-50?
I bleach like a gym sock.

176
00:12:58,063 --> 00:13:02,063
Death, will you relax? The beach
is a perfect place to pick up chicks.

177
00:13:02,318 --> 00:13:06,038
Now, I want you to go over there
and ask those girls if you can play.

178
00:13:06,281 --> 00:13:10,481
- Hey, can I join you?
- I guess. What's your name?

179
00:13:12,455 --> 00:13:14,735
- Josh.
- Do you, like, live around here?

180
00:13:14,958 --> 00:13:17,358
No. I... I live with my mom.

181
00:13:18,379 --> 00:13:23,379
- Let's get out of here
- See ya, Josh. Tell your mom we said hi.

182
00:13:23,719 --> 00:13:25,719
Heads up!

183
00:13:28,100 --> 00:13:30,700
How do we get up there?
Dad put grease on the pole.

184
00:13:30,811 --> 00:13:33,891
Don't worry. We've been
studying fulcrums in school.

185
00:13:34,149 --> 00:13:39,749
You have to counterbalance the weight
at the point where the lever pivots. Like so.

186
00:13:40,073 --> 00:13:42,193
Stewie, you wanna play rocket ship?

187
00:13:42,367 --> 00:13:46,567
- What the deuce?
- Blast off! Go on. Get the note for Mommy.

188
00:13:46,873 --> 00:13:50,273
How dare you use me
for your own personal selfish... Hmm.

189
00:13:50,502 --> 00:13:55,222
Oh. Pull slower. I must remember
to do this game when no one's around.

190
00:13:55,508 --> 00:13:59,108
What was I thinking? You don't know
anything about picking up chicks.

191
00:13:59,388 --> 00:14:01,868
Are you kidding? I learned from the best.

192
00:14:04,394 --> 00:14:06,994
Come on, buddy.
We're dropping anchor in Jamaica!

193
00:14:07,189 --> 00:14:10,789
- Great! We're closer to Rhode Island.
- Rhode Island? Forget that.

194
00:14:11,069 --> 00:14:12,949
I'm taking you out for shore leave.

195
00:14:13,155 --> 00:14:15,235
- Does this look like a "Q" to you?
- No.

196
00:14:15,450 --> 00:14:19,650
- How about now?
- Your crotch just looks like Lois to me.

197
00:14:19,913 --> 00:14:23,833
Let's ask her then. Lois, should Peter
sit around and mope all night?

198
00:14:25,545 --> 00:14:29,145
Or should Peter go out with his buddy
and have some fun?

199
00:14:29,425 --> 00:14:31,505
All right!

200
00:14:33,889 --> 00:14:36,489
That one's a feminist type,
she's into he-men,

201
00:14:36,726 --> 00:14:39,806
and that one's mad for jazz. Watch this.

202
00:14:40,063 --> 00:14:43,943
The plight of women is deplorable.
I can bench-press 800 pounds.

203
00:14:44,235 --> 00:14:46,835
You, me and Coltrane till dawn.

204
00:14:47,030 --> 00:14:49,630
There you go, Peter.
One for you, two for me.

205
00:14:49,867 --> 00:14:51,867
You guys go on without me.

206
00:15:00,297 --> 00:15:03,697
- So why didn't you go with them?
- You don't know what it's like in love.

207
00:15:03,926 --> 00:15:07,126
Oh, yeah? Her name's Amy.
She works at a pet store.

208
00:15:07,389 --> 00:15:11,269
I met her last summer when her dad
hung himself. I was too shy to ask her out.

209
00:15:11,560 --> 00:15:14,240
- What's with that moustache?
- Let me see that.

210
00:15:14,481 --> 00:15:17,961
Sorry. That's Edward James Olmos.
Here, this is her.

211
00:15:18,235 --> 00:15:22,715
- Nice ass.
- Sorry. That's Edward James Olmos's ass.

212
00:15:23,033 --> 00:15:25,913
I guess I don't have a photo.
Trust me, she's cute.

213
00:15:26,162 --> 00:15:28,042
Let's go get her.

214
00:15:28,248 --> 00:15:31,448
- I'll need that picture of Olmos's ass back.
- Oh, yeah.

215
00:15:33,546 --> 00:15:36,346
Mom, hurry! I can't stand the smell!

216
00:15:36,591 --> 00:15:40,871
I found the note!
"Go back to the mini-mart"?

217
00:15:41,180 --> 00:15:44,260
This isn't very creative. Let's go, kids.

218
00:15:44,518 --> 00:15:48,598
Mom, you remember that goldfish
we flushed down the toilet?

219
00:15:48,898 --> 00:15:50,898
He wasn't dead.

220
00:15:51,485 --> 00:15:56,205
- There she is. That's her.
- All right, go on. Just like we practised.

221
00:15:57,033 --> 00:16:02,113
- Hey, you.
- Hi. I was just, uh... uh...

222
00:16:02,457 --> 00:16:06,057
in... in... I was just
in the neighbourhood and...

223
00:16:06,295 --> 00:16:11,415
So I thought that, uh... So... You...

224
00:16:11,718 --> 00:16:15,318
I'll, uh... This is a bad time.

225
00:16:15,598 --> 00:16:18,878
Maybe I'll just come back.

226
00:16:19,144 --> 00:16:23,224
- Who am I kidding? I'll never get her.
- Not with that attitude. Come on!

227
00:16:23,524 --> 00:16:27,204
Robert Reed got Florence Henderson
and he was a burgermeister.

228
00:16:27,487 --> 00:16:29,567
You gotta find a way to make it happen.

229
00:16:30,282 --> 00:16:32,282
So long. I hope you find your girl.

230
00:16:32,494 --> 00:16:36,094
Thanks, Quagmire.
Hope you live next door to me someday.

231
00:16:36,332 --> 00:16:38,452
Hey, does this look like a "Q" to you?

232
00:16:38,626 --> 00:16:40,826
How about now?

233
00:16:45,718 --> 00:16:49,438
So, where is it that you need to go,
my new honky friend?

234
00:16:49,681 --> 00:16:51,681
Rhode Island. That's not too far, is it?

235
00:16:51,892 --> 00:16:57,292
Nothing's too far away from Maxine,
the cheatin' queen. Women.

236
00:16:57,608 --> 00:17:01,128
That's not fair. I'm just speaking out of hurt.

237
00:17:05,034 --> 00:17:08,234
That truck's coming up on us awful fast.

238
00:17:10,123 --> 00:17:12,323
Holy crap! Do you see what I see?

239
00:17:12,543 --> 00:17:16,823
- I'm afraid I do.
- We're being chased by ghosts!

240
00:17:17,966 --> 00:17:20,446
You went through all this to see your girl?

241
00:17:20,678 --> 00:17:24,158
I sure did, and I'm a fat idiot.
What's your excuse, you big chicken?

242
00:17:24,433 --> 00:17:27,033
- Chicken? You take that back!
- Yeah? Make me!

243
00:17:27,228 --> 00:17:30,228
I don't make monkeys, I train 'em.

244
00:17:32,150 --> 00:17:35,950
- Oh! Holy crap! I'm sorry. Did that hurt?
- No. But this will!

245
00:17:36,197 --> 00:17:38,997
Aah! Aah! You bastard!

246
00:17:40,077 --> 00:17:44,877
- What the hell is going on out here?
- Actually, I, uh... I, uh...

247
00:17:45,166 --> 00:17:47,766
Actually, he wanted to ask you something.

248
00:17:48,003 --> 00:17:50,203
Wanna go somewhere and grab a coffee?

249
00:17:50,381 --> 00:17:54,701
- Sure. I get off at two.
- Great! Great! I'll meet you here.

250
00:17:55,930 --> 00:18:01,730
You did it! All right! Hey, who knows?
You might even, you know...

251
00:18:04,899 --> 00:18:07,379
- I'm not following you.
- Intercourse.

252
00:18:09,363 --> 00:18:13,083
- What are you doing here?
- Loretta's mom was hankering for a snack,

253
00:18:13,326 --> 00:18:16,126
so we had to pick her up
some Kibbles 'n Bits.

254
00:18:16,372 --> 00:18:18,652
- Cleveland!
- I mean Cheez-its.

255
00:18:18,875 --> 00:18:21,155
- Did Peter give you a clue for me?
- Peter?

256
00:18:21,378 --> 00:18:23,658
He's at Barrington
with Brian and Quagmire.

257
00:18:23,881 --> 00:18:26,881
He's golfing? On our anniversary?!

258
00:18:27,093 --> 00:18:32,093
Oh, boy. You just put Peter in the
doghouse, which is where your mother...

259
00:18:32,433 --> 00:18:34,433
Don't say it!

260
00:18:35,353 --> 00:18:37,233
Your mother smells.

261
00:18:40,860 --> 00:18:45,380
See, this is why I hate clothes shopping.
I have no ass. I'm minus an ass.

262
00:18:45,658 --> 00:18:48,458
You're trying too hard.
She won't care what you wear.

263
00:18:48,703 --> 00:18:52,303
She's just gonna be glad to see you.
That's how it was with Lois.

264
00:18:59,758 --> 00:19:02,758
Oh, God! Oh, God! Oh, God!

265
00:19:07,351 --> 00:19:09,951
- Hi, Mr Pewterschmidt.
- What are you doing here?

266
00:19:10,188 --> 00:19:14,468
It's a long story - with terrific performances
and a wonderful scene in a carnival.

267
00:19:14,777 --> 00:19:17,177
I'll cut to the ending. I want to marry Lois!

268
00:19:17,363 --> 00:19:20,283
Out of the question! Now, listen, Griffin.

269
00:19:20,492 --> 00:19:23,812
I want you to take this
and stay away from my daughter for ever.

270
00:19:24,038 --> 00:19:27,238
- A million dollars?
- A million dollars.

271
00:19:27,501 --> 00:19:32,381
No deal. Lois may be worth a million to you,
but to me, she's worthless.

272
00:19:32,716 --> 00:19:36,196
- I love her, Mr Pewterschmidt.
- Oh, Peter!

273
00:19:38,765 --> 00:19:42,965
Holy crap! Back then I gave up
a million bucks just to be with Lois.

274
00:19:43,229 --> 00:19:47,029
Now I won't even miss a golf game
to spend our anniversary together.

275
00:19:47,317 --> 00:19:50,117
- No wonder she's gonna dump me.
- Or is she?

276
00:19:50,321 --> 00:19:54,521
Wait a minute. That's my revelation.
I gotta pay more attention to my wife!

277
00:19:54,826 --> 00:19:58,106
Eureka. Now, come on back
to the golf course. I've got a date.

278
00:19:58,372 --> 00:20:03,572
Death, wait, wait, wait. Before we go,
I need you to do me one more favour.

279
00:20:05,464 --> 00:20:09,144
Peter. Peter Frampton.

280
00:20:09,428 --> 00:20:13,628
Oh, no! God, please no!
I'm too young to die!

281
00:20:13,892 --> 00:20:16,492
Sure you're not supposed
to get Keith Richards?

282
00:20:16,728 --> 00:20:22,208
All right. If you want to live, come with me.
And bring your guitar.

283
00:20:22,569 --> 00:20:26,969
And bring that thing you use to make it go
wah... wah-wah-wah-wah-wah.

284
00:20:28,701 --> 00:20:30,701
Hey! Get out of the way!

285
00:20:33,416 --> 00:20:36,616
Damn. How could he lie to me
on our anniversary?

286
00:20:59,156 --> 00:21:03,956
- Oh, Peter. Our song.
- Happy anniversary, Lois.

287
00:21:04,287 --> 00:21:09,967
This is the most romantic gift you've ever
given me. How did you put this together?

288
00:21:10,336 --> 00:21:15,416
I had a little help...
from a very special friend.

289
00:21:16,886 --> 00:21:19,486
- I like animals.
- Uh-huh.

290
00:21:19,723 --> 00:21:22,403
Cos they're like people, little furry people.

291
00:21:22,643 --> 00:21:26,043
Yeah... Hey, you ever go on the Internet?

292
00:21:26,272 --> 00:21:29,192
They got some cool stuff
there on that Internet.

293
00:21:29,401 --> 00:21:33,921
I bought these shoes from a company on
the Internet, cos they don't test on animals.

294
00:21:34,199 --> 00:21:36,999
Wow.

295
00:21:37,244 --> 00:21:41,324
You know, animals never have war.
War is an invention of mankind.

296
00:21:41,625 --> 00:21:45,105
What the hell are you talking about?
Animals fight all the time!

297
00:21:45,379 --> 00:21:50,659
Not with nuclear arms. You can't hug
your children with nuclear arms.

298
00:21:52,680 --> 00:21:53,760
Check, please.

