1
00:00:02,160 --> 00:00:05,560
"It seems today that all you see

2
00:00:05,706 --> 00:00:08,986
"Is violence in movies and sex on TV

3
00:00:09,254 --> 00:00:12,854
"But where are those
good old-fashioned values

4
00:00:13,009 --> 00:00:15,009
"On which we used to rely?

5
00:00:15,804 --> 00:00:19,004
"Lucky there's a family guy

6
00:00:19,268 --> 00:00:24,068
"Lucky there's a man who positively
can do all the things that make us

7
00:00:24,359 --> 00:00:25,679
"Laugh and cry

8
00:00:25,819 --> 00:00:31,139
"He's a family guy

9
00:00:33,872 --> 00:00:38,552
- So, tell me about yourself, Tina.
- I really love music.

10
00:00:38,879 --> 00:00:44,479
Me, too. I just saw Don Giovanni. In my
opinion, the best opera of the 18th century.

11
00:00:44,805 --> 00:00:48,405
- Definitely.
- And the use of recitative throughout...

12
00:00:48,685 --> 00:00:51,885
- Mozart was a genius.
- Oh, yeah, re... cita... tive...

13
00:00:52,107 --> 00:00:54,307
is really, you know, where it's at.

14
00:00:54,527 --> 00:00:57,407
- Sir, are we ready to order?
- Whoa. Hold on a second.

15
00:00:57,656 --> 00:01:01,656
- You don't know what I'm talking about.
- Sure I do. Opera's bitchin'!

16
00:01:01,912 --> 00:01:07,512
OK. I guess I'll have the escar-got
and a glass of chab-lis.

17
00:01:07,879 --> 00:01:10,359
Same here. Escar-got and the chab-lis.

18
00:01:13,179 --> 00:01:15,699
Don't dawdle, Jonas. Play your exercises.

19
00:01:15,891 --> 00:01:18,211
Brian, what happened with your date?

20
00:01:18,394 --> 00:01:21,794
- Same as always. She was an idiot.
- Oh, Brian.

21
00:01:22,067 --> 00:01:24,067
Don't slow down, Jonas. Keep the rhythm.

22
00:01:24,236 --> 00:01:29,356
"Bum, bum, bum, bum
Brian, your standards are ridiculously high

23
00:01:29,577 --> 00:01:34,657
"You'll never find a girl unless
you compromise so you can find your love

24
00:01:35,001 --> 00:01:37,281
"I don't think
I have to compromise a thing

25
00:01:37,505 --> 00:01:39,985
"I'd rather be alone
if someone doesn't get me

26
00:01:40,217 --> 00:01:42,617
"How long has the coffee
been on the burner?

27
00:01:42,721 --> 00:01:45,321
"I could really use a cup about now

28
00:01:45,517 --> 00:01:48,037
"Oh, it's not very fresh
I meant to make more

29
00:01:48,229 --> 00:01:52,029
"I made the mistake of watching Oprah
She had on James Garner

30
00:01:52,318 --> 00:01:55,998
- " James Garner? What's he plugging?
- " Some crappy movie on TNT

31
00:01:56,282 --> 00:01:58,482
Very good, Jonas. I'll see you next week.

32
00:01:58,577 --> 00:02:01,457
So, you don't think
these women understand you?

33
00:02:01,707 --> 00:02:05,307
I'm not comfortable
talking about this a-melodically.

34
00:02:05,545 --> 00:02:08,665
- Peter, could you...
- Hang on a second.

35
00:02:08,800 --> 00:02:12,400
Now back to "The Life and Times
of Grizzly Adams".

36
00:02:13,599 --> 00:02:17,399
- Grizzly? Who's Steve?
- What?

37
00:02:17,646 --> 00:02:20,566
There's a message
on the machine from Steve.

38
00:02:20,692 --> 00:02:26,092
Oh, yeah, Steve. He's... new to the mountain.
I met him down at the general store.

39
00:02:26,408 --> 00:02:30,008
- He makes canoes.
- Oh.

40
00:02:30,290 --> 00:02:34,170
- How come I've never met him?
- He hasn't really been here that long.

41
00:02:34,462 --> 00:02:37,942
- Long enough to get your number!
- Ben! Ben!

42
00:02:38,217 --> 00:02:39,697
Dammit.

43
00:02:39,887 --> 00:02:43,767
Look at that Grizzly Adams.
Look at how confident he is, how majestic.

44
00:02:44,059 --> 00:02:47,139
- I'm gonna grow a beard.
- Peter, you know I hate beards.

45
00:02:47,397 --> 00:02:50,997
Oh, no, it's time I joined the ranks
of great men with beards.

46
00:02:51,236 --> 00:02:56,356
Why do you think Jesus Christ was
so popular? Because of all the magic tricks?

47
00:02:56,577 --> 00:03:01,057
Brian's depressed. Could you take him
with you to the laser rock show tonight?

48
00:03:01,375 --> 00:03:04,575
Sure. That's one thing I'm good at -
cheering people up.

49
00:03:05,757 --> 00:03:09,757
Mr and Mrs Ramsey,
JonBenet's untimely death is a tragedy.

50
00:03:10,013 --> 00:03:13,413
And I will not rest until
I find her killer, or killers.

51
00:03:13,685 --> 00:03:17,285
Oh, really, don't bother.
Nothing's going to bring our baby back.

52
00:03:17,441 --> 00:03:22,041
- No, I insist. I will make it my life's work...
- We're fine. Drop it.

53
00:03:24,742 --> 00:03:27,742
The next laser rock show
will begin in 20 minutes.

54
00:03:27,955 --> 00:03:31,675
You hear that, Brian? A laser rock show!
Come on, cheer up, would you?

55
00:03:31,836 --> 00:03:33,236
I don't feel like it.

56
00:03:34,965 --> 00:03:40,645
Binary code is a computer language in which
words are translated into zeroes and ones.

57
00:03:41,016 --> 00:03:43,096
Anything can be expressed in binary,

58
00:03:43,311 --> 00:03:46,311
as we demonstrate in this scene
from The Miracle Worker.

59
00:03:46,524 --> 00:03:49,724
0-1-1-0-1-0-0-1.

60
00:03:51,322 --> 00:03:54,122
0-1-1-0-1-0-0-1.

61
00:03:54,369 --> 00:03:57,169
0-1-1-0-1-0-0-1.

62
00:03:57,373 --> 00:04:00,293
01! 01!

63
00:04:05,843 --> 00:04:09,723
You don't think this is amazing?
When I saw this at the 1904 World's Fair,

64
00:04:10,016 --> 00:04:11,616
I nearly crapped my pants!

65
00:04:12,311 --> 00:04:14,191
All right! Virtual reality!

66
00:04:14,397 --> 00:04:16,877
Whoa! You guys gotta try this!

67
00:04:17,735 --> 00:04:20,335
Hey, look at me.
I'm a pole in a strip club! Oh!

68
00:04:20,448 --> 00:04:22,728
It's showtime.

69
00:04:22,951 --> 00:04:26,551
Oh! Oh, no! Oh, no! Oh!
Hey, stop! False alarm! Agh!

70
00:04:27,541 --> 00:04:30,741
Oh, my God! I'm flying. I'm flying!

71
00:04:32,131 --> 00:04:33,531
I'll have a Diet Sprite.

72
00:04:51,742 --> 00:04:54,142
You are a filthy whore.

73
00:04:59,253 --> 00:05:02,733
- OK, Johnny Depp or Richard Grieco?
- Oh, that's gross!

74
00:05:03,008 --> 00:05:05,008
- Yeah, let's not do this.
- Come on.

75
00:05:05,179 --> 00:05:08,899
If you're secure in your masculinity,
you can answer a hypothetical.

76
00:05:09,059 --> 00:05:12,259
Johnny Depp, cos he kind of
looks like a chick.

77
00:05:12,480 --> 00:05:16,600
- What about you, Peter?
- Oh, man. I don't know.

78
00:05:16,862 --> 00:05:20,782
Richard Grieco would probably appreciate
you more. Not take you for granted.

79
00:05:21,035 --> 00:05:23,955
With Johnny Depp,
he wouldn't really need you.

80
00:05:24,163 --> 00:05:26,683
He'd probably sneak out
after you fell asleep.

81
00:05:26,876 --> 00:05:30,996
Of course, with Johnny, you'd get
financial security. I'd go with Johnny.

82
00:05:31,257 --> 00:05:32,857
Oh, great.

83
00:05:35,556 --> 00:05:38,356
- Brian?
- Hey, Joe. How's it going?

84
00:05:38,559 --> 00:05:41,679
Good. You were doing
a little swerving back there.

85
00:05:41,814 --> 00:05:45,814
- Me and the boys were just...
- Whoa! You're off the meter, Brian.

86
00:05:46,070 --> 00:05:47,790
- You're under arrest.
- Come on.

87
00:05:47,864 --> 00:05:50,064
Move it!

88
00:05:50,243 --> 00:05:53,963
- One of you guys all right to drive?
- Yeah, I can do it.

89
00:05:56,001 --> 00:05:58,681
I'll meet you at The Drunken Clam.
We'll tie one on.

90
00:05:58,923 --> 00:06:02,003
I'm very disappointed in you.

91
00:06:07,476 --> 00:06:11,276
God, a DUl. I can't believe this.
I could actually go to jail.

92
00:06:11,523 --> 00:06:15,243
It's OK. You'll get through this DUl
and you'll be a better person for it.

93
00:06:15,488 --> 00:06:19,888
Hold on. Don't disguise his alcohol
dependence as a ticket to self-realisation.

94
00:06:20,202 --> 00:06:25,802
You're not one to talk. Remember when I gave
you apple juice and told you it was wine?

95
00:06:26,128 --> 00:06:30,648
- You are a special person.
- Thanks.

96
00:06:30,843 --> 00:06:35,643
Now, come on. I'm being serious.
I will be serious here for a second.

97
00:06:35,850 --> 00:06:38,050
Are you gonna listen to me?

98
00:06:38,229 --> 00:06:44,429
Are you gonna listen to me
so I can tell you that I respect you?

99
00:06:49,203 --> 00:06:51,603
Brian, I know this is a bad time for you.

100
00:06:51,790 --> 00:06:55,510
And if I have any advice to give you,
it is this: Grow a beard.

101
00:06:55,670 --> 00:06:58,550
I wish you'd shave that thing.
Beards are so ugly.

102
00:06:58,800 --> 00:07:01,080
- Hey!
- Oh, relax, Wooly Willy.

103
00:07:01,303 --> 00:07:03,503
There's lots of fun things you can do.

104
00:07:03,598 --> 00:07:05,478
- There we go.
- Thanks!

105
00:07:06,812 --> 00:07:10,332
On the charge of driving under
the influence, we find you guilty.

106
00:07:10,567 --> 00:07:13,087
Good call. Churn the butter.

107
00:07:13,196 --> 00:07:14,996
Ooh! Ooh!

108
00:07:15,157 --> 00:07:19,357
In lieu of jail time, I sentence you
to 100 hours of community service.

109
00:07:20,498 --> 00:07:21,898
Next item.

110
00:07:22,041 --> 00:07:25,761
Dearly beloved, we are gathered here
to join these two in holy matrimony.

111
00:07:26,005 --> 00:07:30,925
If anyone objects to this union,
speak now or for ever hold your peace.

112
00:07:31,221 --> 00:07:32,941
Quiet! You had your chance!

113
00:07:35,102 --> 00:07:40,182
- What are you doing for community service?
- I got assigned to Outreach to the Elderly.

114
00:07:40,526 --> 00:07:43,806
I gotta take care of an old woman
who hasn't been out in 30 years.

115
00:07:44,073 --> 00:07:46,873
When I got caught at school
with my hand down my pants,

116
00:07:47,077 --> 00:07:50,877
I had to keep it there for a whole week.
Ha! What a week!

117
00:07:51,167 --> 00:07:55,167
Taking care of this old woman'll be
like baby-sitting, with bigger diapers.

118
00:07:55,339 --> 00:07:57,939
Aha! So they do make bigger diapers!

119
00:07:58,135 --> 00:08:01,255
That deceitful woman told me
I'd have to use the toilet.

120
00:08:01,473 --> 00:08:04,473
Fie on the toilet! It's made slaves of you all.

121
00:08:04,728 --> 00:08:08,408
I've seen it sitting in there,
lazy, slothful porcelain layabout

122
00:08:08,692 --> 00:08:12,572
feeding on other people's doo-doos
while contributing nothing to society!

123
00:08:12,864 --> 00:08:14,344
You get a job!

124
00:08:17,955 --> 00:08:23,075
Pearl Burton? My name's Brian. I'm here
from the Outreach to the Elderly programme.

125
00:08:23,380 --> 00:08:25,380
You're late!

126
00:08:29,430 --> 00:08:31,750
- What the hell is this?
- Delousing powder!

127
00:08:31,933 --> 00:08:33,933
Everyone on the outside is filthy!

128
00:08:34,145 --> 00:08:38,145
- You could have warned me.
- OK. It's gonna burn like hell in 30 seconds.

129
00:08:38,401 --> 00:08:40,521
I like my tea at four, my dinner at six.

130
00:08:40,696 --> 00:08:43,416
I take my bath at seven
so I can listen to Paul Harvey.

131
00:08:43,533 --> 00:08:47,533
You'll warm up my bath with quick bursts
from the faucet during commercials.

132
00:08:47,789 --> 00:08:52,389
Paul Harvey moves seamlessly into
commercials. It's been 30 seconds.

133
00:09:00,433 --> 00:09:03,833
- Stop scratching that thing.
- I can't. It's itching like crazy.

134
00:09:03,980 --> 00:09:06,980
- Can I scratch your beard?
- You finished your homework?

135
00:09:07,192 --> 00:09:09,512
- Yes.
- OK then.

136
00:09:11,490 --> 00:09:14,690
Brian, you're quiet.
Is community service not going well?

137
00:09:14,912 --> 00:09:17,912
Lois, it's horrible.
I was cleaning her house all day.

138
00:09:18,166 --> 00:09:21,046
It's the worst job I've ever had.
Except for one.

139
00:09:22,548 --> 00:09:26,948
Excuse me. Would you like
to taste my smoked-meat log?

140
00:09:28,473 --> 00:09:32,593
- Here you go. Enjoy your food.
- Yes, enjoy your studio apartment.

141
00:09:34,232 --> 00:09:36,232
- You got something right here.
- Where?

142
00:09:36,401 --> 00:09:37,601
- Other side.
- Here?

143
00:09:37,778 --> 00:09:39,058
- The left side.
- Here?

144
00:09:39,238 --> 00:09:40,838
- Your other left.
- Where?

145
00:09:40,991 --> 00:09:42,511
- Up a little.
- Is it gone?

146
00:09:42,660 --> 00:09:43,980
- Go down.
- Is it gone?

147
00:09:47,250 --> 00:09:50,450
Is it gone? Agh!
Get it off! Get it off! Get it off!

148
00:09:50,714 --> 00:09:52,314
Peter, hold still!

149
00:09:52,382 --> 00:09:54,982
- Don't touch that bird!
- What's it to you?

150
00:09:55,095 --> 00:09:57,975
I'm Dr Goodman of the
Quahog Ornithological Society,

151
00:09:58,224 --> 00:10:01,304
ironically dining in a restaurant
that serves poultry.

152
00:10:01,562 --> 00:10:04,642
- Doctor, what is this?
- It's a very rare species.

153
00:10:04,901 --> 00:10:06,901
The endangered White-rumped Swallow.

154
00:10:06,987 --> 00:10:10,187
- Rump.
- This isn't funny, Chris!

155
00:10:10,408 --> 00:10:14,208
Swallow. Look,
just get rid of this bird, all right?

156
00:10:14,497 --> 00:10:19,777
I can't do that. Once the swallow has chosen
its nesting place, it's illegal to disturb it.

157
00:10:20,130 --> 00:10:22,210
He can't have a bird in his beard.

158
00:10:22,425 --> 00:10:27,505
You have to wait until the bird departs
of its own accord or you'll be prosecuted.

159
00:10:27,850 --> 00:10:29,930
Wow! You sure know a lot of stuff.

160
00:10:30,145 --> 00:10:32,745
- It's great to learn.
- Cos knowledge is power!

161
00:10:36,905 --> 00:10:39,505
- What is this? Spit soup?
- Tomato bisque.

162
00:10:40,660 --> 00:10:43,060
- What is this? Snot soup?
- Tomato bisque.

163
00:10:44,332 --> 00:10:48,132
- What is this? Diarrhoea soup?
- I'm not making you anything else. Eat it.

164
00:10:48,379 --> 00:10:51,779
Then I'll have to call the judge,
and that means you'll go to jail!

165
00:10:52,051 --> 00:10:56,731
You're one phone call away from getting
a human booster shot from a guy named Mali.

166
00:11:10,828 --> 00:11:12,028
- Dammit!
- Shh!

167
00:11:12,164 --> 00:11:14,684
Sorry! Sorry!

168
00:11:14,793 --> 00:11:17,793
- Shut up.
- There's nothing I can do.

169
00:11:18,005 --> 00:11:20,125
- Take it outside.
- Ever heard of a sitter?

170
00:11:20,300 --> 00:11:24,420
- It's an endangered species.
- I'll make you an endangered species!

171
00:11:24,681 --> 00:11:27,401
- Good comeback, Potsie!
- I'll kick your ass!

172
00:11:27,602 --> 00:11:29,602
- Yeah!
- Everybody shut up!

173
00:11:29,814 --> 00:11:32,614
He has stopped squawking.
He's receded into my beard.

174
00:11:32,818 --> 00:11:36,418
We can all watch the movie. Shut up.

175
00:11:36,698 --> 00:11:39,698
Eric, we're all going
to Marty's after the movie.

176
00:11:41,789 --> 00:11:45,589
- I love you so much.
- I love you too, honey.

177
00:11:45,878 --> 00:11:47,278
- Aah!
- Aah!

178
00:11:47,339 --> 00:11:48,539
- What's wrong?
- Aah!

179
00:11:48,674 --> 00:11:50,194
- Aah!
- Aah!

180
00:11:50,343 --> 00:11:54,463
That's it. You're history, pal. No bird
Frenches my wife and gets away with it.

181
00:11:56,728 --> 00:12:00,728
- Help! Help! I've broken my hip!
- Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow!

182
00:12:00,900 --> 00:12:02,100
Brian!

183
00:12:02,235 --> 00:12:07,155
- 5.3 seconds. I could have been dead by now!
- You're not really...?

184
00:12:07,451 --> 00:12:10,851
I heard you drop that light bulb, too.
That'll be 67 cents!

185
00:12:11,123 --> 00:12:15,323
- Go warm me up some diarrhoea soup!
- That's it! I've had it with you, you old hag!

186
00:12:15,505 --> 00:12:20,705
You're a miserable, dried-up shut-in, trying
to make everyone feel as bad as you do!

187
00:12:21,012 --> 00:12:24,732
Why don't you do the world
a big favour and drop dead?!

188
00:12:28,231 --> 00:12:31,031
- This last one won't open.
- You gotta jiggle it.

189
00:12:31,235 --> 00:12:32,955
- Like this?
- Let me get it.

190
00:12:33,113 --> 00:12:37,233
Oh, thanks. And... you know, drop dead.

191
00:12:39,705 --> 00:12:44,305
Get out of my beard,
you squawking bastard!

192
00:12:45,422 --> 00:12:48,142
Nothing. I was hoping
it wouldn't come to this.

193
00:12:48,260 --> 00:12:50,260
Oh, my God! Peter, no!

194
00:12:51,389 --> 00:12:53,989
Lois, the bird must die!

195
00:12:58,900 --> 00:13:01,700
It's gone! It's gone! Oh, thank God!

196
00:13:01,821 --> 00:13:03,821
Peter, what's that sound?

197
00:13:05,659 --> 00:13:07,979
Oh, my God. They're babies.

198
00:13:08,163 --> 00:13:11,363
Hey, look, Lois. There are
three of 'em, just like ours.

199
00:13:16,092 --> 00:13:18,492
And, uh... um...

200
00:13:19,972 --> 00:13:21,772
Sweet.

201
00:13:24,228 --> 00:13:26,748
We now return to
E's mysteries and scandals.

202
00:13:26,940 --> 00:13:29,540
- Pearl Burton, the Jingle Queen.
- Pearl?

203
00:13:29,778 --> 00:13:33,978
I'm AJ Benza. You won't find Pearl's name
on the Hollywood Walk of Fame.

204
00:13:34,159 --> 00:13:38,239
Yet from 1945 to 1960, you couldn't
turn on a radio or television

205
00:13:38,540 --> 00:13:41,340
without hearing one
of her trademark jingles.

206
00:13:41,545 --> 00:13:44,145
"You're only healthy when you're tan

207
00:13:44,382 --> 00:13:47,462
"So soak up all the sun you can

208
00:13:47,720 --> 00:13:51,320
"With Copper... Coppertone

209
00:13:51,559 --> 00:13:54,479
At her peak, Pearl Burton
earned 26 grand a year,

210
00:13:54,605 --> 00:13:58,405
which, by today's standards,
would be just under 49 billion dollars.

211
00:13:58,653 --> 00:14:03,253
- Brian, she's beautiful.
- Yeah, and that voice. I had no idea.

212
00:14:03,577 --> 00:14:07,577
In 1961, Pearl used an appearance
at Carnegie Hall to make the leap

213
00:14:07,749 --> 00:14:09,629
from jingle-singer to artist.

214
00:14:13,590 --> 00:14:18,070
That's "Habanera" from Carmen.
Oh, I've never heard it sung so beautifully.

215
00:14:18,389 --> 00:14:20,989
- Sing Coppertone!
- Yeah, Coppertone!

216
00:14:21,185 --> 00:14:24,185
- Do Doan's Pills!
- Sing Gold Bond Medicated Powder!

217
00:14:24,440 --> 00:14:26,440
- Pepsodent!
- Chiclets!

218
00:14:26,526 --> 00:14:30,726
No one has seen Pearl Burton since
that fateful night over 30 years ago.

219
00:14:30,991 --> 00:14:35,511
- She's presumed dead.
- My God. I said those awful things to her!

220
00:14:39,670 --> 00:14:41,670
Pearl!

221
00:14:47,055 --> 00:14:48,775
Pearl, don't do this!

222
00:14:48,933 --> 00:14:52,253
You should be happy.
I'm doing the world a big favour!

223
00:14:52,480 --> 00:14:54,680
Move! Your fur is making my feet sweat!

224
00:14:54,900 --> 00:14:57,380
Pearl, listen to me. I heard you sing.

225
00:14:57,612 --> 00:15:00,212
It was the most beautiful sound
I've ever heard.

226
00:15:00,407 --> 00:15:03,727
Oh, sure. Warbling for
Vick's VapoRub and Dippety-Do!

227
00:15:03,871 --> 00:15:04,951
No, I mean...

228
00:15:05,123 --> 00:15:08,323
Stop trying to talk me out of it!
I'm a pathetic sellout!

229
00:15:08,545 --> 00:15:11,065
No one who sings Carmen
like you is pathetic!

230
00:15:11,257 --> 00:15:13,977
- What?
- I heard you sing "Habanera".

231
00:15:14,177 --> 00:15:17,897
- You were sublime.
- You... you liked my aria?

232
00:15:18,142 --> 00:15:19,342
I was overwhelmed.

233
00:15:19,518 --> 00:15:23,998
You're the first person who ever
complimented my "Habanera". Thank you.

234
00:15:24,943 --> 00:15:29,223
Well... I'd better get going.
I'll see you tomorrow.

235
00:15:29,533 --> 00:15:33,013
- But you're not scheduled tomorrow.
- I know.

236
00:15:57,072 --> 00:16:01,752
And then the cow came out of the barn.
See? Look, there's the cow.

237
00:16:02,080 --> 00:16:03,760
And what does a cow say?

238
00:16:03,957 --> 00:16:08,037
Yes! Yes, that's right.
A cow says "Peep-peep-peep-peep. "

239
00:16:08,338 --> 00:16:11,138
- Peter, they're getting awfully big.
- So?

240
00:16:11,259 --> 00:16:14,739
A mother knows when it's time
for her babies to leave the nest.

241
00:16:15,014 --> 00:16:19,094
Hey, they're free to go
any time they want! Aah!

242
00:16:19,397 --> 00:16:21,077
Fine. I'll let 'em go.

243
00:16:31,705 --> 00:16:33,985
- Pearl, do you rent or own?
- Own what?

244
00:16:34,209 --> 00:16:39,609
Those wings, you angel.
That was fantastic. That was so incredible.

245
00:16:39,842 --> 00:16:44,322
What do you want for dinner? I was thinking
of making that lamb and rice you love.

246
00:16:44,641 --> 00:16:47,921
Pearl, what I'd really like
for dinner is to go out.

247
00:16:48,187 --> 00:16:52,987
Brian, you know I can't do that.
I haven't left this house in such a long time.

248
00:16:53,278 --> 00:16:55,998
- I'm afraid.
- I know. But I'll be with you.

249
00:16:56,199 --> 00:16:58,119
I don't know.

250
00:16:58,285 --> 00:17:01,405
There's so much you've missed
in the last 30 years.

251
00:17:01,540 --> 00:17:04,140
In fact, allow me to fill you in.

252
00:17:04,252 --> 00:17:07,252
"The '60s brought the hippie breed

253
00:17:07,465 --> 00:17:10,385
"And decades later
things have changed indeed

254
00:17:10,595 --> 00:17:13,915
"We lost the values but we kept the weed

255
00:17:14,141 --> 00:17:17,461
"You've got a lot to see

256
00:17:17,605 --> 00:17:20,685
"The Reagan years have laid the frame

257
00:17:20,943 --> 00:17:24,023
"For movie stars to play
the White House game

258
00:17:24,281 --> 00:17:27,161
"We're not too far
from voting Feldman-Haim

259
00:17:27,410 --> 00:17:30,290
"You've got a lot to see

260
00:17:30,540 --> 00:17:33,540
"The town of Vegas has got a different face

261
00:17:33,753 --> 00:17:36,753
"Cos it's a family place with lots to do

262
00:17:37,007 --> 00:17:41,887
"Where in the '50s, a man could mingle
with scores of all the seediest whores

263
00:17:42,223 --> 00:17:44,023
"Now his children can, too

264
00:17:44,101 --> 00:17:46,901
"You heard it from the canine's mouth

265
00:17:47,105 --> 00:17:50,105
"The country's changed -
that is, except the South

266
00:17:50,360 --> 00:17:53,040
"And you'll agree

267
00:17:53,280 --> 00:17:56,680
"No one really knows, my dear lady friend

268
00:17:56,911 --> 00:18:00,231
"Just quite how it all will end

269
00:18:00,458 --> 00:18:06,458
"So hurry cos you've got a lot to see

270
00:18:10,597 --> 00:18:13,677
"The baldness gene was cause for dread

271
00:18:13,936 --> 00:18:16,816
"But that's a fear that you can put to bed

272
00:18:17,065 --> 00:18:19,945
"They'll shave your ass
and glue it on your head

273
00:18:20,195 --> 00:18:23,595
"You've got a lot to see

274
00:18:23,824 --> 00:18:26,944
"The PC age has moved the bar

275
00:18:27,163 --> 00:18:30,283
"A word like "redneck" is a step too far

276
00:18:30,501 --> 00:18:33,421
"The proper term is "country music star"

277
00:18:33,630 --> 00:18:36,430
"You've got a lot to see

278
00:18:36,677 --> 00:18:39,877
"Our flashy cellphones
make people mumble "Gee whiz"

279
00:18:40,014 --> 00:18:43,014
"Look how important he is,
his life must rule. "

280
00:18:43,228 --> 00:18:46,348
"You'll get a tumour,
but on your surgery day

281
00:18:46,566 --> 00:18:51,086
"The doc will see it and say
"Wow, you must really be cool"

282
00:18:53,660 --> 00:18:56,660
- " Lots you may have missed
- " Like Pee Wee and his famous wrist

283
00:18:56,914 --> 00:18:59,994
"Or Sandy Duncan's creepy phony eye

284
00:19:00,252 --> 00:19:03,252
- " That Thundercats cartoon
- " Neil Armstrong on the moon

285
00:19:03,465 --> 00:19:06,785
"Neil Armstrong?
Wait, was he the trumpet guy?

286
00:19:09,933 --> 00:19:13,253
"So let's go see the USA

287
00:19:13,479 --> 00:19:19,199
"They'll treat you right unless
you're black or gay or Cherokee

288
00:19:19,530 --> 00:19:22,850
"But you can forgive
the world and its flaws

289
00:19:22,993 --> 00:19:26,273
"And follow me there because

290
00:19:26,540 --> 00:19:31,940
"You've still got a hell of a lot to see

291
00:19:33,216 --> 00:19:39,216
"You've got a lot to see

292
00:19:43,105 --> 00:19:48,625
Brian, I've missed so much! I wouldn't be
standing here right now if it wasn't for you!

293
00:19:52,618 --> 00:19:55,898
She's in here. Tell the disorderly
when you're ready to leave.

294
00:19:56,166 --> 00:19:59,046
- Don't you mean the orderly?
- No, I mean the disorderly.

295
00:19:59,296 --> 00:20:02,496
That's a doctor joke we like to make.
We also like Kevin Pollak.

296
00:20:03,885 --> 00:20:08,085
- Oh, my God, Pearl.
- Brian, I don't have much time.

297
00:20:08,350 --> 00:20:11,470
I never should have made you leave.
This is all my fault!

298
00:20:11,688 --> 00:20:14,288
Shh, shh, shh. Don't be so hard on yourself.

299
00:20:14,525 --> 00:20:18,605
Aside from the truck part,
this was the best day of my life.

300
00:20:18,906 --> 00:20:22,186
I only wish we could have
a little more time together.

301
00:20:22,454 --> 00:20:24,254
We can.

302
00:21:16,072 --> 00:21:17,472
Goodbye, kids.

303
00:21:28,673 --> 00:21:30,673
Goodbye, Pearl.

304
00:21:33,179 --> 00:21:35,179
Hey, who wants to see a dead body?

305
00:21:37,562 --> 00:21:40,562
- Rough week, huh?
- I've seen better.

306
00:21:40,690 --> 00:21:44,570
Brian, looks like somebody's
checking you out.

307
00:21:44,863 --> 00:21:48,543
Nah, I'm not ready yet.
Hey, you're getting some looks yourself.

308
00:21:53,000 --> 00:21:56,200
I'm not ready either.

