1
00:00:01,800 --> 00:00:04,800
"lt seems today that all you see

2
00:00:05,100 --> 00:00:08,100
"is violence in movies and sex on TV

3
00:00:08,400 --> 00:00:11,600
"but where are those good,
old-fashioned values

4
00:00:12,200 --> 00:00:14,600
"on which we used to rely?

5
00:00:15,200 --> 00:00:18,000
"Lucky there's a family guy

6
00:00:18,400 --> 00:00:21,500
"Lucky there's a man who'll
positively tell you

7
00:00:21,600 --> 00:00:23,300
"all the things that make us

8
00:00:23,400 --> 00:00:24,900
"laugh 'n' cry

9
00:00:25,000 --> 00:00:30,200
"He's a family guy"

10
00:00:33,600 --> 00:00:37,100
l say, Rupert, these crumpets
you've prepared look positively divine!

11
00:00:38,100 --> 00:00:42,300
Excellent texture, provocative support.
Try another, you say?

12
00:00:42,600 --> 00:00:44,600
Aren't l the wicked one?

13
00:00:45,100 --> 00:00:48,500
Stewie, l've told you before, don't eat dirt.
lt's disgusting.

14
00:00:48,600 --> 00:00:51,800
And l suppose the bilious curds
you force-fed me from your teat...

15
00:00:51,800 --> 00:00:53,000
...were perfectly fine then?

16
00:00:53,100 --> 00:00:56,300
- Glen, would you mind holding Stewie?
- Said and done.

17
00:00:56,300 --> 00:00:58,000
Hey there, spud with the mud.

18
00:00:58,100 --> 00:01:00,900
Good Lord! Do you bathe in Aqua Velva?

19
00:01:01,000 --> 00:01:04,700
Hi. You've got our votes.
Thank you, Cleveland.

20
00:01:04,800 --> 00:01:07,400
Someone has to run against
that awful Betsy Lebeau.

21
00:01:07,500 --> 00:01:10,600
She actually opposes background checks
for new teachers!

22
00:01:10,700 --> 00:01:12,600
God knows who she might hire.

23
00:01:12,700 --> 00:01:16,300
So the square of a hypotenuse,
which we will label C...

24
00:01:16,400 --> 00:01:20,800
...making the sides opposite both of the
acute angles A and B...

25
00:01:20,900 --> 00:01:23,600
...always equals the sum
of the squares of the other sides.

26
00:01:24,800 --> 00:01:26,000
Any questions?

27
00:01:28,500 --> 00:01:30,200
lt's just something l have to do.

28
00:01:30,300 --> 00:01:34,200
Even if winning means spending time
out of the house and away from my family.

29
00:01:34,300 --> 00:01:38,000
Out of the house? Why, l'd be free
from your oppressive gynocracy!

30
00:01:38,100 --> 00:01:42,300
You should be out giving speeches,
shaking hands, kissing babies!

31
00:01:43,800 --> 00:01:45,300
Not this baby!

32
00:01:45,700 --> 00:01:48,600
Lois, you seen my pants?

33
00:01:49,800 --> 00:01:53,100
Boy, l'll be glad when that studio audience
moves out of the neighborhood.

34
00:01:53,300 --> 00:01:54,800
Lois, what's with the sign?

35
00:01:54,900 --> 00:01:57,800
Peter, we discussed this.
l'm running for School Board.

36
00:01:57,900 --> 00:01:59,300
You never listen to me.

37
00:01:59,400 --> 00:02:02,300
Yeah, l remember.
Hey, Cleveland. Hey, Quagmire.

38
00:02:02,900 --> 00:02:04,500
Lois, what's with the sign?

39
00:02:04,600 --> 00:02:08,400
You guys? Chris' principal just called.
Chris is in trouble.

40
00:02:09,000 --> 00:02:10,800
That's it! l'm calling the cops!

41
00:02:12,100 --> 00:02:14,300
Mr. Griffin, l'm afraid
l have bad news.

42
00:02:14,400 --> 00:02:17,000
l caught your son peeking
into the girls' locker room.

43
00:02:17,100 --> 00:02:18,300
Oh, Chris!

44
00:02:18,400 --> 00:02:21,500
So what's the big deal?
lt's normal for a boy his age to be curious.

45
00:02:21,600 --> 00:02:24,000
l remember when l first noticed
girls starting to develop.

46
00:02:24,200 --> 00:02:27,000
WeIcome to
eighth grade orientation, everyone,

47
00:02:27,000 --> 00:02:31,900
Locker assignments wiII be handed out
in the Iibrary after Iunch period,

48
00:02:32,200 --> 00:02:35,900
If you have any questions
about your Iocker assignments...

49
00:02:36,000 --> 00:02:38,700
...or your cIass scheduIe, pIease come...,

50
00:02:39,700 --> 00:02:42,300
We'll continue this discussion
tonight, young man.

51
00:02:42,300 --> 00:02:44,600
A woman is not an object.

52
00:02:44,700 --> 00:02:47,200
Your mother is right, son.
Listen to what it says.

53
00:02:47,300 --> 00:02:49,800
- Peter!
- l didn't say that.

54
00:02:50,100 --> 00:02:51,400
Lee Majors did.

55
00:02:51,900 --> 00:02:54,100
What? Women are things.

56
00:02:56,000 --> 00:02:58,800
Oh, my God! lt's Mr. Fargas!

57
00:02:58,900 --> 00:03:00,600
He was my favorite teacher!

58
00:03:01,000 --> 00:03:05,000
Take out your scalpels, kids.
We're going to dissect a clown!

59
00:03:09,500 --> 00:03:13,500
No wonder this clown died.
His lungs are filled with candy!

60
00:03:14,800 --> 00:03:16,600
Why don't you go say hello?

61
00:03:16,600 --> 00:03:19,500
l'm gonna drop off some campaign flyers
in the teachers' lounge.

62
00:03:19,600 --> 00:03:22,500
Hey, Mr. Fargas!
lt's me, Peter Griffin!

63
00:03:23,200 --> 00:03:25,900
Griffin. Sorry, not on the list.

64
00:03:26,000 --> 00:03:28,700
Don't you remember me?
l was your favorite student.

65
00:03:28,800 --> 00:03:30,800
You taught me everything. Math, science.

66
00:03:30,900 --> 00:03:33,900
You even taught me how
to dance just in time for the prom.

67
00:03:34,000 --> 00:03:35,800
Peter, you start like this.

68
00:03:36,500 --> 00:03:37,900
Like this?

69
00:03:39,000 --> 00:03:41,900
Yeah. Now add a little turn
and do a buck and wing.

70
00:03:42,000 --> 00:03:45,000
Come on, Mr. Fargas,
do the whole darn thing.

71
00:03:47,100 --> 00:03:50,600
Jeez, Mr. Fargas, what happened to you?
Somebody give you a fun-ectomy?

72
00:03:50,700 --> 00:03:53,100
No, they gave me these
by order of the School Board.

73
00:03:54,100 --> 00:03:55,600
They said it evens me out.

74
00:03:56,800 --> 00:03:59,800
Sorry to fly off the handle.
Here, let me see that.

75
00:03:59,900 --> 00:04:03,200
That's what l think about you taking
chill pills from the Man.

76
00:04:03,300 --> 00:04:06,600
Look, the old Farg made learning fun.
He's what these kids need.

77
00:04:06,700 --> 00:04:09,800
Now get back in that classroom
and teach your "Fargin"' ass off.

78
00:04:13,300 --> 00:04:15,500
Don't come in! Just a minute!

79
00:04:15,600 --> 00:04:18,700
Chris, your mother wants me and you
to have a talk.

80
00:04:18,800 --> 00:04:19,800
No!

81
00:04:21,200 --> 00:04:23,000
l was going for a new record.

82
00:04:23,100 --> 00:04:26,700
Now, son, as men, it's only natural for us
to look at naked girls.

83
00:04:26,800 --> 00:04:29,000
Every man does it, even Mr. Rogers.

84
00:04:31,500 --> 00:04:33,000
Hello, neighbor.

85
00:04:35,800 --> 00:04:39,100
But peeping can be dangerous,
so l brought you this.

86
00:04:41,200 --> 00:04:45,200
- Wow! Miss December!
- Yep, the old skin bin.

87
00:04:45,200 --> 00:04:48,600
Now you can look at naked girls
all you want and it's perfectly legal!

88
00:04:48,600 --> 00:04:51,600
Wow, check out the rack on.... Mom?

89
00:04:51,800 --> 00:04:53,200
Give me that!

90
00:04:53,300 --> 00:04:57,000
Just a little present your mom gave me
for our anniversary.

91
00:04:57,100 --> 00:04:58,700
All right, Dad!

92
00:04:59,400 --> 00:05:01,700
Hey, Dad. Thanks.

93
00:05:11,200 --> 00:05:15,700
Mom, if you get elected
can you fix it so l win Homecoming Queen?

94
00:05:16,400 --> 00:05:18,900
Honey, of course l can.

95
00:05:19,300 --> 00:05:22,100
But winning without honor
isn't really winning at all.

96
00:05:22,200 --> 00:05:25,100
- lsn't that right, Milli?
- No, it's just as good.

97
00:05:25,100 --> 00:05:27,300
"Baby"

98
00:05:27,600 --> 00:05:29,300
What's the use? You're right.

99
00:05:29,300 --> 00:05:30,700
Cease this prattling!

100
00:05:30,700 --> 00:05:34,100
This campaign literature must be posted
today to get you into office...

101
00:05:34,100 --> 00:05:36,400
...and out of my life,
you festering strumpet!

102
00:05:36,500 --> 00:05:39,700
Hey, you guys.
Lois, you running for School Board?

103
00:05:40,800 --> 00:05:42,800
Look, Chris' school is on TV.

104
00:05:42,900 --> 00:05:46,900
The egg drop, an annuaI tradition
for junior-high-schooI science students,

105
00:05:47,000 --> 00:05:50,500
Today at Buddy Cianci Junior High,
an egg drop conducted by teacher...

106
00:05:50,500 --> 00:05:53,700
...RandaII Fargas seems to have gone
horribIy wrong,

107
00:05:54,100 --> 00:05:57,900
We now go Iive to Action News 5
Asian reporter, Trisha Takanawa,

108
00:05:57,900 --> 00:06:01,700
Tom, the eggs being dropped behind me
are not chicken eggs...

109
00:06:01,800 --> 00:06:04,700
...but those of the endangered
CaIifornia condor,

110
00:06:04,800 --> 00:06:06,400
Welcome back, Fargas.

111
00:06:06,500 --> 00:06:09,900
Oh, my God. He's gonna wipe
that species off the face of the earth!

112
00:06:10,000 --> 00:06:12,000
No, Lois. The janitor'll do that.

113
00:06:12,300 --> 00:06:14,800
I'm getting word
that the Quahog SchooI Board...

114
00:06:14,800 --> 00:06:19,400
...has just dismissed RandaII Fargas,
ending his 32-year teaching career,

115
00:06:19,600 --> 00:06:23,700
- What? They can't do that!
- Peter, the man is obviously unbalanced.

116
00:06:24,000 --> 00:06:27,000
In other news, Betsy Lebeau,
SchooI Board President candidate...

117
00:06:27,100 --> 00:06:29,300
...announced today she's puIIing out
of the race,

118
00:06:29,300 --> 00:06:32,900
Lebeau's withdrawaI Ieaves housewife,
Lois Griffin, running unopposed,

119
00:06:33,000 --> 00:06:36,000
My goodness! l win by default!

120
00:06:36,100 --> 00:06:38,600
Great. You can get Mr. Fargas his job back.

121
00:06:38,700 --> 00:06:41,100
l'm sorry! But l do have a mind of my own!

122
00:06:41,200 --> 00:06:44,000
And l happen to agree
with the School Board's decision.

123
00:06:44,100 --> 00:06:46,800
l know you're a feminist
and l think that's adorable...

124
00:06:46,900 --> 00:06:49,200
...but this is grown-up time
and l'm the man.

125
00:06:49,300 --> 00:06:52,900
l'm not giving that lunatic his job back
and that's final.

126
00:06:53,500 --> 00:06:58,000
Lois, l can't let you deprive our children
of a fine teacher like Mr. Fargas.

127
00:06:58,100 --> 00:07:00,300
l'm gonna stop you the only way l can...

128
00:07:00,400 --> 00:07:02,100
...by killing you...

129
00:07:02,100 --> 00:07:04,800
...in the race for School Board President!

130
00:07:11,200 --> 00:07:14,100
Peter, are you sure running against Lois
is such a good idea?

131
00:07:14,200 --> 00:07:16,000
You know how competitive you get.

132
00:07:16,100 --> 00:07:18,700
l can be just as non-competitive
as anybody.

133
00:07:18,800 --> 00:07:22,100
Matter of fact,
l'm the most non-competitive. So l win.

134
00:07:22,100 --> 00:07:24,600
Come on, you can't even handle
losing at checkers.

135
00:07:26,000 --> 00:07:27,200
King me.

136
00:07:27,400 --> 00:07:29,600
Look over there!
What?

137
00:07:45,100 --> 00:07:47,900
Peter, since when do you care
about the School Board?

138
00:07:48,000 --> 00:07:50,300
Lois, Mr. Fargas is getting a bum rap...

139
00:07:50,400 --> 00:07:53,500
...and if running against you
is the only way to get him back...

140
00:07:53,600 --> 00:07:56,800
...then l am gonna run
like the Six Million Dollar Man.

141
00:07:58,100 --> 00:07:59,300
We can rebuild him.

142
00:07:59,300 --> 00:08:02,800
We have the technology,
but l don't want to spend a lot of money.

143
00:08:07,800 --> 00:08:10,800
Fine, if you feel that strongly,
then by all means run.

144
00:08:10,900 --> 00:08:14,200
But l'm warning you, l'm not gonna
pull any punches on the issues.

145
00:08:14,600 --> 00:08:15,700
l'm Lois.

146
00:08:15,800 --> 00:08:18,900
Look at me with my big ideas
and my pointy nose,

147
00:08:21,400 --> 00:08:23,700
This'll be even easier
than running unopposed.

148
00:08:23,800 --> 00:08:25,100
ls that so?

149
00:08:25,200 --> 00:08:27,400
Not only am l gonna win this election...

150
00:08:28,400 --> 00:08:30,800
...l am gonna eat your nose.

151
00:08:35,500 --> 00:08:37,700
See you on the campaign trail.

152
00:09:14,400 --> 00:09:16,800
Oh, my. Look where my hand is.

153
00:09:18,000 --> 00:09:20,100
I say, Iook where my hand is!

154
00:09:20,600 --> 00:09:23,200
It's in a very naughty pIace,

155
00:09:23,300 --> 00:09:24,700
Does that not disgust you?

156
00:09:24,800 --> 00:09:27,700
You're talking to a guy
who uses his tongue for toilet paper.

157
00:09:27,800 --> 00:09:29,600
Now look here, you loathsome cur!

158
00:09:29,700 --> 00:09:32,200
The matron of prattle
has left me in your ward.

159
00:09:32,300 --> 00:09:34,800
You should be striving to thwart
my noisome misdeeds.

160
00:09:38,500 --> 00:09:41,200
Look at me.
l'm writing profanity on the wall!

161
00:09:42,500 --> 00:09:43,700
Water-soluble.

162
00:09:43,800 --> 00:09:48,800
Don't just sit there! l have misbehaved!
l've been a bawdy little monkey!

163
00:09:49,600 --> 00:09:52,700
lf that vile woman were here,
she'd prove a worthy adversary.

164
00:09:52,700 --> 00:09:54,900
What's the matter?
Miss your mommy?

165
00:09:54,900 --> 00:09:58,600
Yes, that's it. That's quite good.
Yes, l miss my mommy.

166
00:09:58,900 --> 00:10:03,400
- l also miss colic and rectal thermometry.
- Whatever you say, Mama's boy.

167
00:10:03,400 --> 00:10:04,600
Blast!

168
00:10:07,200 --> 00:10:11,100
Hey, Chris! Hector found two rocks outside
that look like boobs! You in?

169
00:10:11,200 --> 00:10:14,100
Who needs rocks when you got these?

170
00:10:14,400 --> 00:10:18,100
- Check it out!
- Wow!

171
00:10:25,300 --> 00:10:27,300
Vote for Peter Griffin!

172
00:10:27,500 --> 00:10:29,200
Look at all of Lois' signs!

173
00:10:29,300 --> 00:10:31,200
Talk about seeing red.

174
00:10:31,400 --> 00:10:35,700
Peter, l'm concerned that your candidacy
may have become a lost cause.

175
00:10:35,900 --> 00:10:39,700
The debate is tonight and you don't seem
to have any supporters.

176
00:10:39,800 --> 00:10:42,900
Don't sweat it, the Griffin men
have always been winners...

177
00:10:43,000 --> 00:10:46,500
...dating back to my diminutive
great-grandfather, Juarez Griffin.

178
00:11:02,900 --> 00:11:05,100
Fellas, the debate's in the bag, all right?

179
00:11:05,100 --> 00:11:07,700
lf there's one thing l can do,
it's play to a crowd.

180
00:11:07,800 --> 00:11:11,000
Lois Griffin, daughter of shipping
industriaIist, Carter Pewterschmidt...

181
00:11:11,200 --> 00:11:13,500
...and passive-aggressivist,
Barbara Pewterschmidt,

182
00:11:13,600 --> 00:11:16,500
Tonight she takes on
her greatest chaIIenge, Peter Griffin...

183
00:11:16,600 --> 00:11:21,000
...Quahog's native son, seIf-described
Huguenot, don't know what that means...

184
00:11:21,400 --> 00:11:23,300
...and community activist,

185
00:11:23,400 --> 00:11:24,600
Go, Dad.

186
00:11:24,700 --> 00:11:26,400
He can't hear you.

187
00:11:26,700 --> 00:11:28,000
Go, Dad!

188
00:11:28,900 --> 00:11:31,500
So fasten your seat beIts,
We're just minutes away...

189
00:11:31,600 --> 00:11:33,800
...from Lois versus Peter,
Griffin versus Griffin...

190
00:11:33,900 --> 00:11:36,100
...on Monday Night Debate, y'aII!

191
00:11:36,900 --> 00:11:41,600
"Of suns and worlds l nothing had
to say l see mankind's self-torturing pains"

192
00:11:41,700 --> 00:11:43,300
No! You're doing it wrong!

193
00:11:43,300 --> 00:11:44,600
When you read Faust...

194
00:11:44,700 --> 00:11:48,200
...you're supposed to do Mephistopheles
in a scary voice like this!

195
00:11:48,600 --> 00:11:52,600
ls that the way Mommy reads it?
l do not miss that ogress.

196
00:11:52,600 --> 00:11:56,000
She can burn in hell for all l care!
Sure she can.

197
00:11:56,100 --> 00:11:57,100
Damn!

198
00:11:59,900 --> 00:12:02,400
"l've grown accustomed to her face

199
00:12:05,600 --> 00:12:07,800
"She almost makes the day begin

200
00:12:08,500 --> 00:12:12,400
"l've grown accustomed to the tune
that she whistles night and noon

201
00:12:12,500 --> 00:12:16,500
"Her smiles, her frowns,
her ups, her downs

202
00:12:16,600 --> 00:12:18,200
"are second nature to me now

203
00:12:19,600 --> 00:12:22,400
"Like breathing out and breathing in

204
00:12:23,000 --> 00:12:24,900
"l'm very grateful she's a woman

205
00:12:25,000 --> 00:12:30,000
"and so easy to forget,
rather like a habit one can always break

206
00:12:32,100 --> 00:12:36,600
"And yet,
l've grown accustomed to her looks

207
00:12:36,800 --> 00:12:38,900
"Accustomed to her voice

208
00:12:39,000 --> 00:12:41,800
"Accustomed to her

209
00:12:42,700 --> 00:12:43,700
"face"

210
00:12:47,500 --> 00:12:48,800
Damn you all!

211
00:12:54,000 --> 00:12:56,500
Mr, Griffin,
your opening statement, pIease,

212
00:12:56,900 --> 00:13:00,200
Okay, I'm Peter Griffin, Vote for me,

213
00:13:02,400 --> 00:13:05,200
- Is that it?
- No, this is it,

214
00:13:05,300 --> 00:13:08,900
This is Iife, the one you get,
so go and have a baII...

215
00:13:09,000 --> 00:13:12,000
...because the worId don't move
to the beat of just one drum,

216
00:13:12,100 --> 00:13:15,000
What might be right for you,
may not be right for some,

217
00:13:15,000 --> 00:13:16,800
You take the good, you take the bad...

218
00:13:16,900 --> 00:13:20,200
...you take them both, and there you have
my opening statement,

219
00:13:20,500 --> 00:13:22,500
Sit, Ubu, sit, Good dog,

220
00:13:22,900 --> 00:13:24,900
Okay, Mrs, Griffin?

221
00:13:25,100 --> 00:13:29,400
As a piano teacher, I know how
difficuIt the education process can be,

222
00:13:31,200 --> 00:13:36,000
That's why, if I'm eIected,
I promise to fight for competent teachers...

223
00:13:36,200 --> 00:13:39,600
...a better-funded music department
and updated textbooks...

224
00:13:39,700 --> 00:13:43,400
...that don't refer to the
CiviI Rights Movement as "troubIe ahead, "

225
00:13:44,700 --> 00:13:46,500
Mr, Griffin, your response?

226
00:13:46,600 --> 00:13:48,400
Maybe something about education?

227
00:13:48,500 --> 00:13:51,300
I have aIways cared deepIy
about young peopIe,

228
00:13:51,400 --> 00:13:55,500
As a rich coIIege-bound student, I once
joined some underpriviIeged youths...

229
00:13:55,600 --> 00:13:59,200
...in saving a community center
from being converted into a shopping maII,

230
00:14:01,400 --> 00:14:02,800
Peter, that wasn't you,

231
00:14:02,900 --> 00:14:06,300
That was AdoIpho Shabba-Doo
Electric Boogaloo,

232
00:14:06,400 --> 00:14:07,900
You watched it Iast night,

233
00:14:11,700 --> 00:14:13,600
So you're caIIing me a Iiar?

234
00:14:13,600 --> 00:14:16,400
I'm gonna take the highroad
and stick to the issues,

235
00:14:16,500 --> 00:14:19,200
The chiIdren of Quahog
are our greatest treasure,

236
00:14:19,300 --> 00:14:23,200
They deserve a schooI board president who
doesn't Ieave their feminine ointments...

237
00:14:23,300 --> 00:14:27,100
...in the fridge next to the mustard!
That was the worst hot dog I ever ate!

238
00:14:27,800 --> 00:14:30,500
Yeah, she fIosses in bed,
she snores Iike a wiIdebeest--

239
00:14:30,600 --> 00:14:32,700
Thank you, Mr, Griffin,
We now move on--

240
00:14:32,800 --> 00:14:35,000
Wait a second, bIow dryer,
I'm not done yet,

241
00:14:35,100 --> 00:14:37,000
She freed WiIIie Horton, naiIed Donna Rice--

242
00:14:37,100 --> 00:14:39,400
- Peter, that's enough!
- Eats babies,

243
00:14:39,900 --> 00:14:43,700
Peter, Peter.
Just a minute, Listen to me, pIease!

244
00:14:44,800 --> 00:14:48,000
This eIection is about our chiIdren's future,

245
00:14:48,100 --> 00:14:49,300
So ask yourseIf...

246
00:14:49,300 --> 00:14:54,200
...what kind of future wiII it be if you eIect
a man who has never taught a student...

247
00:14:54,500 --> 00:14:56,700
...or even been to a PTA meeting,

248
00:14:56,900 --> 00:15:00,400
This is a man who beIieves the pIuraI
of "goose" is "sheep"!

249
00:15:01,900 --> 00:15:05,200
I'm the right person for the job,
Vote for me,

250
00:15:05,500 --> 00:15:06,400
Lois!

251
00:15:08,400 --> 00:15:11,000
Wait, I'm not done,

252
00:15:11,700 --> 00:15:17,500
Peter! Come on! Stop,
Shut up! You guys shut up!

253
00:15:20,000 --> 00:15:23,800
l didn't enjoy humiliating Peter,
but what choice did l have?

254
00:15:24,200 --> 00:15:26,600
That's okay, Lois. l enjoyed it.

255
00:15:26,900 --> 00:15:30,900
As soon as the polls close,
we can put all this ugliness behind us.

256
00:15:31,000 --> 00:15:33,200
Lois Griffin is a sIut,
What?

257
00:15:33,600 --> 00:15:35,600
Hi, I'm Peter Griffin,

258
00:15:35,600 --> 00:15:37,600
I grew up in this town,

259
00:15:37,600 --> 00:15:40,800
Quahog needs a moraI,
upstanding schooI board president,

260
00:15:40,900 --> 00:15:42,700
Someone we can trust,

261
00:15:42,800 --> 00:15:45,700
A Iot of nasty things
have been said during this campaign,

262
00:15:45,800 --> 00:15:47,800
But pictures are better than words...

263
00:15:47,900 --> 00:15:50,600
...because some words are
big and hard to understand,

264
00:15:50,600 --> 00:15:53,600
But here's something
everyone can understand!

265
00:15:53,600 --> 00:15:57,200
Do you reaIIy want
your chiIdren's future in the hands of this?

266
00:15:59,100 --> 00:16:00,200
I know I don't,

267
00:16:00,200 --> 00:16:03,800
Paid for by the Peter Griffin
for SchooI Board President Committee,

268
00:16:04,500 --> 00:16:05,900
Sorry, Lois,

269
00:16:08,400 --> 00:16:11,200
"Lewd," "obscene," and "a little blurry"...

270
00:16:11,300 --> 00:16:14,900
...just some of the words used to describe
Lois Griffin's prurient pic.

271
00:16:15,000 --> 00:16:17,600
- Good morning. l'm Tom Tucker.
- And l'm Diane Simmons.

272
00:16:17,700 --> 00:16:19,900
Yesterday, voters
overwhelmingly declared...

273
00:16:20,000 --> 00:16:23,600
...that Lois Griffin is not the kind of person
they want running their schools.

274
00:16:23,600 --> 00:16:26,700
Her husband, Peter Griffin,
was elected by a landslide.

275
00:16:26,700 --> 00:16:30,400
What a great day! I just want to say...,

276
00:16:32,000 --> 00:16:34,100
I am so freaking wasted!

277
00:16:35,900 --> 00:16:38,900
SpIendid,
How deIightfuI to have mother back,

278
00:16:39,000 --> 00:16:40,700
I heard that,
Damn!

279
00:16:41,100 --> 00:16:44,800
Don't feel bad, Mom.
All my friends think you're hot!

280
00:16:45,100 --> 00:16:47,000
They can't believe l came out of you!

281
00:16:47,100 --> 00:16:51,600
Lois, l got a joke for you. How many losers
does it take to make me breakfast?

282
00:16:51,700 --> 00:16:53,400
Just one! You!

283
00:16:54,100 --> 00:16:56,500
l'm just kidding. French toast, please.

284
00:16:56,700 --> 00:17:00,400
Don't even talk to me, Peter.
You humiliated your own wife!

285
00:17:00,800 --> 00:17:04,100
And for what? To get that crazy
Mr. Fargas back in the classroom?

286
00:17:04,200 --> 00:17:05,400
Who?

287
00:17:05,500 --> 00:17:07,600
Peter, l cared about our schools.

288
00:17:07,700 --> 00:17:10,100
All you cared about
was some stupid competition.

289
00:17:10,100 --> 00:17:11,900
Winning was only half the battle.

290
00:17:12,000 --> 00:17:14,700
lf you blow this chance to do something
good for our kids...

291
00:17:14,800 --> 00:17:16,300
...you'll be the biggest loser!

292
00:17:16,300 --> 00:17:17,300
Oh, yeah?

293
00:17:17,400 --> 00:17:20,600
Peter Griffin is no loser!
When l'm through with our schools...

294
00:17:20,700 --> 00:17:24,000
...our students'll be so smart
they'll be able to program their VCRs...

295
00:17:24,100 --> 00:17:26,800
...without spilling piping hot gravy
all over myself.

296
00:17:31,500 --> 00:17:35,900
This is Trisha Takanawa, here
with School Board President Peter Griffin.

297
00:17:36,400 --> 00:17:40,600
Mr. President, you've accomplished
so much in just a few short weeks.

298
00:17:41,000 --> 00:17:45,700
Thanks, Connie. l'm very excited about
our progress in revamping our schools.

299
00:17:47,000 --> 00:17:50,100
For starters,
we're making sex education more fun.

300
00:17:50,400 --> 00:17:53,600
"Vagina junction, what's your function?

301
00:17:53,700 --> 00:17:57,100
"Taking in sperm and spitting out babies"

302
00:17:57,200 --> 00:17:59,200
And our schools are the safest around...

303
00:17:59,300 --> 00:18:03,600
...thanks to the hall monitor XL-K.
HaIt! Present haII pass!

304
00:18:03,700 --> 00:18:07,200
Right here.
Second request, Present pass,

305
00:18:07,500 --> 00:18:11,200
But.... Right here!
Security breach!

306
00:18:14,100 --> 00:18:18,800
l guess Little Miss Free Spirit will think
twice before roaming the halls.

307
00:18:18,900 --> 00:18:21,200
l've restocked our school library...

308
00:18:21,300 --> 00:18:24,200
...with books of some
of our greatest movies and TV shows.

309
00:18:24,300 --> 00:18:28,500
Because if we don't teach our kids to read,
how will they ever know what's on?

310
00:18:28,600 --> 00:18:30,400
Mr. Griffin, this is impressive.

311
00:18:30,500 --> 00:18:33,700
l've never seen kids
so enthusiastic about reading.

312
00:18:33,800 --> 00:18:36,200
Thank you. That's what you voted for.

313
00:18:36,300 --> 00:18:39,000
Hey, son, show the folks at home
what you got there.

314
00:18:39,700 --> 00:18:42,000
Good Lord! That's a dirty magazine!

315
00:18:42,100 --> 00:18:43,900
That's mine.... Shaft.

316
00:18:44,100 --> 00:18:46,400
There might be a mineshaft
under this library.

317
00:18:46,500 --> 00:18:48,800
All these kids are looking at pornography!

318
00:18:48,900 --> 00:18:51,200
What kind of pervert
gave you kids this filth?

319
00:18:51,200 --> 00:18:53,500
Chris Griffin. He got it from his dad.

320
00:19:01,700 --> 00:19:03,900
There's quite a crowd outside.

321
00:19:04,200 --> 00:19:09,100
l haven't witnessed pandemonium like this
since Ridiculous Day down at the deli...

322
00:19:09,200 --> 00:19:12,700
...when prices were so low
they were ridiculous.

323
00:19:13,100 --> 00:19:16,100
You said it, pally.
That's why l brought in the big guns.

324
00:19:16,200 --> 00:19:19,500
Say "how do" to the Ragin' Cajun,
Mr. James Carville.

325
00:19:19,600 --> 00:19:21,000
Oh, God. Oh, jeez!

326
00:19:21,000 --> 00:19:22,800
Did somebody open
the Ark of the Covenant?

327
00:19:22,900 --> 00:19:26,300
Now see, Peter, what you gotta do is
you gotta declare war! War!

328
00:19:26,400 --> 00:19:28,600
Your only chance
of surviving this scandal...

329
00:19:28,700 --> 00:19:31,400
...is to claim that Lois
gave your boy the pornography.

330
00:19:31,500 --> 00:19:34,600
And he's right.
Pin it on the old ball and chain.

331
00:19:34,700 --> 00:19:37,700
l can't do that.
Lois is mad enough at me without....

332
00:19:37,900 --> 00:19:40,100
l'm sorry. l can't look at you!

333
00:19:40,300 --> 00:19:43,700
l mean, l can handle ugly.
But this is like circus ugly.

334
00:19:44,600 --> 00:19:49,300
Lois, l need your help. You gotta come
to my press conference this afternoon.

335
00:19:49,900 --> 00:19:51,700
Lois, l could lose my presidency!

336
00:19:51,800 --> 00:19:54,900
Too bad! l've already lost more than that!

337
00:19:55,200 --> 00:19:57,700
Not my rainbow socks
with the individual toes?

338
00:19:57,700 --> 00:20:00,700
No. l've lost my respect for you.

339
00:20:03,200 --> 00:20:04,900
Because l need those socks.

340
00:20:05,000 --> 00:20:07,800
We now take you live
to Peter Griffin Junior High...

341
00:20:07,900 --> 00:20:12,400
...where embattled School Board President
Peter Griffin is fighting for his political life.

342
00:20:12,500 --> 00:20:14,100
Throw the bum out!

343
00:20:14,400 --> 00:20:17,500
Mom, what are you doing here?
l thought you were mad at Dad.

344
00:20:17,600 --> 00:20:20,700
l am.
l just came to see him twist in the wind.

345
00:20:20,800 --> 00:20:23,200
Are you and Dad gonna get a divorce?

346
00:20:23,300 --> 00:20:25,800
Oh, honey. Maybe.

347
00:20:26,100 --> 00:20:29,700
"A parent giving porno to their kid
is a terribIe thing...

348
00:20:30,100 --> 00:20:32,500
"...but I'm here to teII you
that I'm innocent! "

349
00:20:32,500 --> 00:20:33,800
Oh, yeah. Right.

350
00:20:34,800 --> 00:20:37,400
"I didn't give those magazines to my son,

351
00:20:37,500 --> 00:20:41,500
"My wife, Lois..., "

352
00:20:46,800 --> 00:20:48,300
Lois!

353
00:20:50,500 --> 00:20:55,800
Crap, Look, my wife, Lois, is the most
important person in the worId to me,

354
00:20:56,400 --> 00:20:59,200
I gave my son those magazines,

355
00:21:00,200 --> 00:21:04,500
Even worse, I turned a beautifuI gift from
Lois into something cheap and tawdry,

356
00:21:04,900 --> 00:21:07,100
I just wanted to win so bad,

357
00:21:07,200 --> 00:21:10,100
Now I know that some things
are more important than winning,

358
00:21:10,200 --> 00:21:13,700
Lois, I onIy hope you can find it
in your heart to forgive me,

359
00:21:13,900 --> 00:21:15,200
Oh, Peter!

360
00:21:19,300 --> 00:21:22,700
So you're saying you're not only
a bad father, but a bad husband, too?

361
00:21:22,700 --> 00:21:24,300
Have you the moral authority to lead?

362
00:21:24,400 --> 00:21:28,000
Yes. No. And, screw it. l resign.

363
00:21:28,300 --> 00:21:31,600
There's the President,
First Lady Lois,

364
00:21:32,100 --> 00:21:34,300
Now boarding the heIicopter,

365
00:21:38,600 --> 00:21:42,500
And so ends a dark and shameful chapter
in the history of Quahog, Rhode lsland.

366
00:21:42,600 --> 00:21:44,700
One which leaves this reporter asking:

367
00:21:44,700 --> 00:21:49,100
How much moral bankruptcy and
perversion must we, the people, endure?

368
00:21:49,200 --> 00:21:51,800
Next up, stay tuned for our
special investigative report...

369
00:21:51,900 --> 00:21:55,100
Nature's Rubik's Cube."

370
00:22:00,600 --> 00:22:02,600
Welcome back, Fargas.
Thank you.

371
00:22:03,100 --> 00:22:05,300
Welcome back, Farg.
Much obliged.

372
00:22:05,600 --> 00:22:08,800
HaIt, Present haII pass,
Excuse me?

373
00:22:09,100 --> 00:22:11,200
Second request,
Present haII pass,



9999
00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00
<font color="#ffff00" size=14>www.tvsubtitles.net</font>
