1
00:00:01,700 --> 00:00:04,900
It seems today that all you see

2
00:00:05,000 --> 00:00:08,300
Is violence in movies and sex on TV

3
00:00:08,300 --> 00:00:11,900
But where are those
good old-fashioned values

4
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On which we used to rely?

5
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Lucky there's a family guy

6
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Lucky there's a man who positively
can do all the things that make us

7
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Laugh and cry

8
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He's a family guy

9
00:00:34,600 --> 00:00:38,100
Wakey, wakey, worthless domestic.
Time to make the inedible gruel.

10
00:00:38,200 --> 00:00:41,300
Mommy wants to rest for
a few more minutes, honey.

11
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Blast!

12
00:00:46,700 --> 00:00:50,000
Whaddaya doin' lyin' on the couch
at this hour? You been drinkin'?

13
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- Peter, you know I never drink.
- Just like you never dodged the draft?

14
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What are you talkin' about? I'm a woman.

15
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Sure you are... now.

16
00:00:59,300 --> 00:01:03,400
Peter, I'm exhausted.
I've been in and outta taxis all day.

17
00:01:03,500 --> 00:01:07,200
Stewie had a doctor's appointment,
then I had to pick Meg up after school.

18
00:01:07,400 --> 00:01:11,000
I had rehearsal for Death of a Salesman, 
but we can't show death at school,

19
00:01:11,100 --> 00:01:13,500
so now at the end,
we dance around with sparklers.

20
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Peter, we really need a second car.

21
00:01:15,700 --> 00:01:18,800
Trying to do all these errands
in a taxi is exhausting.

22
00:01:18,900 --> 00:01:23,700
Oh, but you meet such colourful characters
in taxis, like Alex Rieger and Tony.

23
00:01:23,800 --> 00:01:26,000
And that funny foreign guy, in the garage.

24
00:01:26,100 --> 00:01:31,700
Rieger, cab 402. Nardo, you and
your luscious melons are in 315.

25
00:01:31,800 --> 00:01:35,200
- Now get outta here, you losers.
- What about the foreign guy?

26
00:01:35,300 --> 00:01:37,100
No way. He's a nut job.

27
00:01:37,200 --> 00:01:40,000
Show some compassion
for once in your miserable life.

28
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All right, can the waterworks,
Jackie Chan, cab 302.

29
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Ayii-a!

30
00:01:46,000 --> 00:01:48,500
Thank you very much.

31
00:01:48,600 --> 00:01:53,300
Peter, please. I saw an ad
for a used car that would be perfect.

32
00:01:53,400 --> 00:01:58,300
Oh, no, Lois. A guy at work bought a car
outta the paper. Ten years later, bam! Herpes.

33
00:01:58,300 --> 00:02:00,700
I'm buying our car
from a dealer and that's that.

34
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Oh, look. Oh, aren't you beautiful?

35
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Yeah. Yeah, you like that, don't ya?

36
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Yeah, you're a bad little car.

37
00:02:12,900 --> 00:02:16,700
What's that? What's that?
You want me inside ya?

38
00:02:17,400 --> 00:02:21,600
Peter, look at this one. It's safe
and reliable and we can afford it.

39
00:02:21,700 --> 00:02:24,900
I'll just see if I can find a salesman.

40
00:02:26,700 --> 00:02:30,000
Hey, I'm Doug, nice to meet ya.
Whoa, have you lost weight?

41
00:02:30,200 --> 00:02:32,500
It's still there. I'm parting it on the side.

42
00:02:32,600 --> 00:02:35,100
We were more interested
in that car over there.

43
00:02:35,200 --> 00:02:38,300
- Lois, let me handle this.
- Peter, this car has dents in it.

44
00:02:38,400 --> 00:02:40,800
And it's got a cardboard steering wheel.

45
00:02:40,900 --> 00:02:43,900
- Yeah, just a second, honey.
- And, look, there's no engine.

46
00:02:44,000 --> 00:02:48,200
- It just has a drawing of an engine.
- But it only had one previous owner.

47
00:02:48,500 --> 00:02:51,400
- James Bond.
- I'll take it.

48
00:02:51,700 --> 00:02:54,600
OK, let's see what this baby can do, eh?

49
00:02:57,100 --> 00:03:00,900
Ha! Well, I'm sure the dealer
will take care of it.

50
00:03:03,100 --> 00:03:04,700
Lois, this is crazy.

51
00:03:04,800 --> 00:03:08,700
There's no way we can have maritals
with you lying all the way over there.

52
00:03:08,700 --> 00:03:11,100
I am very upset with you right now.

53
00:03:11,300 --> 00:03:14,600
OK, so I tried on your bra.
Jeez, the fellas were puttin' on a show.

54
00:03:14,700 --> 00:03:18,300
I didn't think I'd make a good Gigi either,
but, God help me, I was flattered.

55
00:03:18,400 --> 00:03:21,600
Peter, I'm upset because
you never listen to me.

56
00:03:21,700 --> 00:03:24,100
This is Atlantic City all over again.

57
00:03:24,300 --> 00:03:27,400
- You've got 20.
- Hit me.

58
00:03:27,500 --> 00:03:30,400
- 21.
- Hit me. Hit me.

59
00:03:30,500 --> 00:03:32,900
- That's 30.
- Hit me.

60
00:03:33,200 --> 00:03:37,600
Ha! You're just mad about the car.
Don't worry. I'll think of a way to fix it.

61
00:03:37,700 --> 00:03:39,900
No, we'll think of a way to fix it.

62
00:03:40,000 --> 00:03:42,700
I'm tired of being left out
of all our decision making.

63
00:03:42,800 --> 00:03:44,200
OK, honey.

64
00:03:45,100 --> 00:03:48,600
By the way, I bought a chimp.

65
00:03:51,300 --> 00:03:55,600
Hey, Peter, you want a menu,
or just the usual everything?

66
00:03:55,700 --> 00:03:59,400
- Aw, shut up, Cleveland.
- Wanna talk about it, champ?

67
00:03:59,800 --> 00:04:03,300
Lois has had the car all week
and it's just been hell gettin' around.

68
00:04:03,400 --> 00:04:06,000
I actually had to rent a Mustang.

69
00:04:20,800 --> 00:04:23,400
All because I can't afford
to get our new car fixed.

70
00:04:23,500 --> 00:04:25,800
Why don't you just get another new car?

71
00:04:25,900 --> 00:04:28,000
Why don't you try a breath mint, saucy?

72
00:04:28,100 --> 00:04:31,300
I'm just sayin' that
me and my associates will steal your car,

73
00:04:31,400 --> 00:04:34,500
and ipso facto your insurance
company'll buy you another one.

74
00:04:34,700 --> 00:04:38,100
Peter, you don't wanna
get involved with the Mob.

75
00:04:38,200 --> 00:04:40,600
Who are you? Who are you?
Who are you? Who are you?

76
00:04:40,700 --> 00:04:45,600
- I'm the proprietor of this delicatessen.
- Butt out, shlomo. All I need is your address.

77
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- You can jot it down on the back of my gun.
- Well, you do have an honest face.

78
00:04:52,100 --> 00:04:54,500
Ah, crap. I made a mistake.
Do you have another gun?

79
00:04:56,500 --> 00:05:01,100
Dharma, come down from there. Wow, 
I can't get over what a free spirit you are. 

80
00:05:10,200 --> 00:05:14,300
Lois, can you go down to the basement and
do somethin' really loud and complicated

81
00:05:14,300 --> 00:05:16,300
for the next 15 minutes?

82
00:05:21,300 --> 00:05:24,400
- That's a fine machine, Peter.
- Peter, how can we afford this?

83
00:05:24,500 --> 00:05:26,700
Let's just say the car was a steal.

84
00:05:26,700 --> 00:05:29,000
- Say that again.
- The car was a steal.

85
00:05:29,100 --> 00:05:32,700
- This time without winking.
- The car was a steal.

86
00:05:32,800 --> 00:05:33,900
Wink.

87
00:05:34,000 --> 00:05:39,500
Look, Lois, we had a broken car, I did
"something", and now we have a new car.

88
00:05:39,600 --> 00:05:42,700
- Look, I said I'd handle it, and I did.
- I suppose you did.

89
00:05:42,800 --> 00:05:45,000
I just wish my opinion mattered to you.

90
00:05:45,100 --> 00:05:50,900
Well, the important thing is it matters to you.
And that's the greatest gift of all.

91
00:05:51,000 --> 00:05:55,100
Hey, Cleveland, check out my on-board
computer navigation system. Standard.

92
00:05:55,200 --> 00:05:57,500
- Left turn ahead.
- Spanish.

93
00:05:57,600 --> 00:06:00,700
- Va a la izquierda allá. 
- Yakov Smirnoff.

94
00:06:00,800 --> 00:06:03,700
In Soviet Russia, car drives you. 

95
00:06:04,000 --> 00:06:09,000
That's fancy an' all. But I think you're
bargainin' for more than you can chew.

96
00:06:09,100 --> 00:06:13,400
You're in debt to the Mob. That means
they can ask you to do anything.

97
00:06:13,500 --> 00:06:16,700
- Anything!
- Relax, Cleveland, there is no Mob.

98
00:06:16,700 --> 00:06:18,700
You're thinkin' of the Mob in the movies.

99
00:06:18,800 --> 00:06:21,700
- How am I funny?
- I dunno know. You say funny things.

100
00:06:21,800 --> 00:06:24,300
No, no. I mean, am I George Carlin funny,

101
00:06:24,400 --> 00:06:28,200
am I Spin City funny,
Rita Rudner funny, what? Come on.

102
00:06:28,300 --> 00:06:30,800
- Rita Rudner funny.
- Yeah, Rita Rudner funny.

103
00:06:30,900 --> 00:06:33,900
Really? Oh, my God. Thank you.

104
00:06:34,000 --> 00:06:36,300
Peter, please don't underestimate them.

105
00:06:36,400 --> 00:06:39,800
I guarantee ya, I am never gonna
hear from those guys again.

106
00:06:39,900 --> 00:06:43,600
Peter, it is time to repay
your favour to the don.

107
00:06:44,900 --> 00:06:47,100
Aw, jeez.

108
00:06:49,800 --> 00:06:51,800
At least that's one problem solved.

109
00:06:56,100 --> 00:06:58,700
C'mon, Peter, the don is waiting to meet you.

110
00:06:58,800 --> 00:07:01,800
What kind of a guy... what's he like?
Is he a friendly don?

111
00:07:01,900 --> 00:07:04,200
You know, like that Dom DeLuise.

112
00:07:04,300 --> 00:07:07,700
I have asked you here tonight
so that you may perform a service.

113
00:07:07,800 --> 00:07:11,600
Whaddaya gonna make me do?
Whack a guy? Off a guy? Whack off a guy?

114
00:07:11,700 --> 00:07:16,700
Silence. Big Fat Paulie's in town this week
to attend the wedding of my daughter.

115
00:07:16,700 --> 00:07:18,800
You want me to shoot him twice in the head.

116
00:07:18,900 --> 00:07:21,600
That's sweet of you to ask,
but he's my nephew.

117
00:07:21,700 --> 00:07:23,700
He's also vile and disgusting.

118
00:07:23,800 --> 00:07:27,700
No one's been able to stand Big Fat Paulie's
company for more than a minute.

119
00:07:27,800 --> 00:07:30,900
But you, Mr Griffin,
you will take him to the movies.

120
00:07:30,900 --> 00:07:35,000
That's it? That's all I have to do?
Ah, thank Go... Wait a second. Which movie?

121
00:07:35,100 --> 00:07:40,000
Because if it's anything with Greg Kinnear,
you can just whack me off right now.

122
00:07:48,500 --> 00:07:49,900
Big Fat Paulie?

123
00:07:49,900 --> 00:07:53,400
The name's Marty, and
I'm very sensitive about my weight.

124
00:07:53,500 --> 00:07:56,100
- Big Fat Paulie?
- How dare you?

125
00:07:58,800 --> 00:08:01,100
Are you Big Fat Paulie?

126
00:08:01,100 --> 00:08:03,700
I'm Louie Anderson.

127
00:08:03,800 --> 00:08:06,100
Are you-please, God - Big Fat Paulie?

128
00:08:10,500 --> 00:08:14,200
- Yeah, I'm Big Fat Paulie.
- Hey. Guess I've got milk.

129
00:08:14,300 --> 00:08:15,900
Don't shoot me!

130
00:08:20,500 --> 00:08:23,700
Aw. Someone's sittin'
in my most favourite seat.

131
00:08:23,700 --> 00:08:28,200
Hm. Hey, I just got a great idea.

132
00:08:30,400 --> 00:08:32,700
Girlfriend, you know what time it is? 

133
00:08:32,800 --> 00:08:36,800
- No, what time is it? 
- It's time for you to get your groove back. 

134
00:08:36,900 --> 00:08:38,700
Again. 

135
00:08:44,300 --> 00:08:46,300
Well, uh...

136
00:08:47,800 --> 00:08:50,600
- Bye.
- Where you goin'?

137
00:08:50,700 --> 00:08:54,300
- Home? You know, for dinner.
- Oh, yeah? What are we havin'?

138
00:08:54,400 --> 00:08:57,000
Oh, uh... I was only supposed to
go to a movie with ya.

139
00:08:57,100 --> 00:09:00,700
- What's that supposed to mean?
- Well, I mean, you know, like...

140
00:09:00,800 --> 00:09:02,700
like no neckin'.

141
00:09:02,800 --> 00:09:04,800
So I can have dinner with you.

142
00:09:04,900 --> 00:09:06,900
Uh... uh, sure.

143
00:09:07,000 --> 00:09:11,700
That'd be better than having dinner with
my family who I love and am not afraid of.

144
00:09:12,900 --> 00:09:15,800
Hey, Lois, this is Big Fat Paulie.

145
00:09:15,900 --> 00:09:20,200
- He's gonna be joinin' us for dinner.
- Really? What a nice surprise.

146
00:09:20,300 --> 00:09:23,100
Peter, can I talk to you for a second?

147
00:09:23,100 --> 00:09:26,800
You can't just bring company home
at the last second without calling.

148
00:09:26,900 --> 00:09:32,500
I am gettin' tired of you doin' everything
without consultin' me. And...

149
00:09:32,500 --> 00:09:36,300
- Do you mind?
- As a matter of fact, I do, you crazy broad.

150
00:09:36,500 --> 00:09:38,600
I am not a crazy broad.

151
00:09:38,700 --> 00:09:42,800
Oh, no, no, Lois. He didn't mean
you're crazy like Elizabeth Taylor.

152
00:09:42,900 --> 00:09:45,800
You know, he meant you're crazy like...

153
00:09:45,900 --> 00:09:48,900
like that glue. You stick to things.

154
00:09:49,000 --> 00:09:52,600
You know, like an adhesive.
That's all he meant.

155
00:09:55,500 --> 00:09:59,800
You have a pretty good appetite there, kid.
I bet you spend a lot of time in the john.

156
00:09:59,900 --> 00:10:02,600
Sorry, what finishing school
did you say you went to?

157
00:10:02,700 --> 00:10:05,700
Yes, good heavens. Who taught you
how to eat? Mickey Rourke?

158
00:10:05,700 --> 00:10:08,500
Why do I know that name?
Damn you, Entertainment Tonight! 

159
00:10:08,800 --> 00:10:11,700
Hi, I'm Bob Goen, 
and these are Mary Hart's legs. 

160
00:10:11,800 --> 00:10:15,900
Mary, you recently spent some time
with Julia Roberts, didn't you? 

161
00:10:15,900 --> 00:10:16,900
Mary says yes. 

162
00:10:18,300 --> 00:10:21,600
Tell me, kid, what are you, like, 27?

163
00:10:21,700 --> 00:10:24,500
- I'm 13.
- Still a minor, huh?

164
00:10:24,500 --> 00:10:28,100
- Hey, son, how'd you like to be a coke mule?
- Peter, living room?

165
00:10:28,200 --> 00:10:30,200
No, Lois, kitchen.

166
00:10:34,400 --> 00:10:36,500
Peter, I have a bad feelin' about this man.

167
00:10:36,600 --> 00:10:39,700
He's not the kind of person
I want hangin' around our family.

168
00:10:39,700 --> 00:10:43,800
- Honey, you're overreactin'.
- Will you please just listen to me for once?

169
00:10:43,900 --> 00:10:47,800
That man is bad news. I want him
out of our house and out of our lives.

170
00:10:47,900 --> 00:10:50,700
I'm gonna give you
something to help you relax...

171
00:10:50,800 --> 00:10:51,900
- Now!
- OK.

172
00:10:52,500 --> 00:10:55,500
Big Fat Paulie?
There's somethin' I gotta tell ya.

173
00:10:57,500 --> 00:11:01,300
Ever stare at the night sky and wonder
if someone might be lookin' back at ya?

174
00:11:01,400 --> 00:11:05,100
No, but just in case...
Look at this, you freakin' aliens!

175
00:11:07,100 --> 00:11:09,100
Oh, uh... Hi, Bonnie.

176
00:11:09,200 --> 00:11:14,700
This is my friend, Big Fat Paulie,
and, uh... this is his big fat ass.

177
00:11:16,700 --> 00:11:21,600
- What's on your mind, Petie?
- Look, uh, we can't be friends any more.

178
00:11:21,700 --> 00:11:23,400
- Oh.
- I'm sorry.

179
00:11:23,500 --> 00:11:25,500
Hey, forget about it.

180
00:11:26,700 --> 00:11:30,800
Aw, jeez. It's not you, it's Lois.
She doesn't want me hangin' around with ya.

181
00:11:30,900 --> 00:11:35,200
- Really? You're not just sayin' that?
- No, no. It's all Lois.

182
00:11:35,300 --> 00:11:37,800
If only I'd met you first...
But whaddaya gonna do?

183
00:11:37,900 --> 00:11:41,300
- So, Lois is the problem, huh?
- Yeah, but it's not her fault.

184
00:11:41,400 --> 00:11:45,100
She just doesn't wanna see me
fall in with a tough crowd again.

185
00:11:45,300 --> 00:11:47,200
Cavity creeps!

186
00:11:47,400 --> 00:11:51,300
We make holes in teeth!
We make holes in teeth!

187
00:11:51,400 --> 00:11:55,600
So, if she wasn't around,
we could still be friends, right?

188
00:11:55,700 --> 00:11:58,700
- Yeah, sure. Why not?
- Oh, that's great.

189
00:11:58,700 --> 00:12:00,700
Come here, you.

190
00:12:31,700 --> 00:12:34,200
Willy Loman never made a lot of money,

191
00:12:34,300 --> 00:12:36,800
his name was never in the paper,

192
00:12:36,900 --> 00:12:40,500
but, uh... You know, like,
attention could be paid.

193
00:12:40,500 --> 00:12:43,300
People are worse off than Willy Loman.

194
00:12:45,500 --> 00:12:49,100
Jeez, come on, everybody.
I know it sucks, but they're just kids.

195
00:12:52,800 --> 00:12:55,400
Peter, how can you sleep?
I was almost killed.

196
00:12:55,500 --> 00:12:59,900
Aw, come on, Lois. The only victim
tonight was the work of Arthur Miller.

197
00:13:00,000 --> 00:13:02,300
Hello.

198
00:13:02,400 --> 00:13:04,500
Hey, Big Fat Paulie.

199
00:13:04,500 --> 00:13:06,900
No, Lois isn't dead yet.

200
00:13:06,900 --> 00:13:09,200
Whaddaya mean,
you're gonna fire that hit man?

201
00:13:09,300 --> 00:13:13,300
Whaddaya mean, you thought she'd be six
feet under and we'd be able to catch a movie?

202
00:13:13,400 --> 00:13:14,700
Whad...?

203
00:13:15,100 --> 00:13:17,600
- You thought I wanted you to whack Lois?
- Guilty.

204
00:13:17,700 --> 00:13:20,900
- It's not too late to have the hit called off?
- Yeah.

205
00:13:21,600 --> 00:13:23,900
Gotcha.

206
00:13:24,100 --> 00:13:27,300
All I gotta do is make a call.

207
00:13:42,500 --> 00:13:44,700
Aw, jeez. You OK?

208
00:13:53,100 --> 00:13:55,700
Oh, my God. Look at this.

209
00:13:55,700 --> 00:13:58,700
How could you bring a mobster
into your own home?

210
00:13:58,800 --> 00:14:01,100
If you're upset now, wait till ya hear the rest.

211
00:14:01,200 --> 00:14:05,900
I was talkin' to Big Fat Paulie the other day
and one thing led to another, and...

212
00:14:05,900 --> 00:14:10,700
- I sort of put a hit out on ya.
- How could you put a hit on me?

213
00:14:11,100 --> 00:14:13,700
That's not even the worst part.
Wait. Yeah, it is.

214
00:14:13,700 --> 00:14:16,800
- Peter!
- Look, don't worry. I got it all worked out.

215
00:14:16,900 --> 00:14:22,200
We'll move to England. Worst they got there
is, uh, you know, drive-by arguments.

216
00:14:24,300 --> 00:14:27,100
I say, Jeremy, isn't that
Reginald B Stiffworth,

217
00:14:27,100 --> 00:14:30,800
the chap who's been touting the merits
of a United European Commonwealth?

218
00:14:30,900 --> 00:14:34,900
- Why, yes, I dare say that's the fellow.
- Oh, let's get him.

219
00:14:35,300 --> 00:14:37,500
Oh, Reginald.

220
00:14:37,600 --> 00:14:39,500
I disagree.

221
00:14:48,100 --> 00:14:51,300
- I would like a "bunny".
- What kind of "bunny"?

222
00:14:51,400 --> 00:14:54,500
A semi-automatic bunny
or a hand-held bunny.

223
00:14:54,500 --> 00:14:58,900
Whichever bunny you think is better
for shooting a guy in the head.

224
00:14:58,900 --> 00:15:03,200
I've been lookin' all over for ya.
Look, I gotta call off the hit on my wife.

225
00:15:03,300 --> 00:15:05,000
- Where's the don?
- The don?

226
00:15:05,100 --> 00:15:08,900
- I don't know what you're talking about.
- Aw, come on, you know, the don.

227
00:15:09,000 --> 00:15:13,900
- The captain of the Mafia.
- Peter, there is no such thing as the Mafia.

228
00:15:14,100 --> 00:15:18,300
"The don's daughter is getting married
tomorrow. Here's my invitation."

229
00:15:18,300 --> 00:15:22,800
"Now, get the asterisk, percent,
ampersand, out of here, you SOB."

230
00:15:22,900 --> 00:15:24,400
What's a SOB?

231
00:15:27,300 --> 00:15:32,500
- Dharma, come down from that couch. 
- Uh-uh, goofy. Why don't you come up? 

232
00:15:32,500 --> 00:15:34,800
You know what? I think I will. 

233
00:15:45,300 --> 00:15:48,500
Boy, what a mismatched pair.
A free spirit and a puppet.

234
00:15:49,300 --> 00:15:51,800
Peter, thank God. Did you take care of...

235
00:15:51,900 --> 00:15:55,700
- That thing?
- That thing? Oh, oh, you mean that growth.

236
00:15:55,800 --> 00:15:57,800
Yeah, I had the doctor look at that.

237
00:15:58,100 --> 00:16:01,100
Mr Griffin, that isn't a growth.
That's your penis.

238
00:16:01,100 --> 00:16:03,500
Oh. Well, what about the...?

239
00:16:03,600 --> 00:16:05,600
Testicles.

240
00:16:06,700 --> 00:16:07,900
Huh.

241
00:16:08,100 --> 00:16:11,200
- I'm talkin' about the mob hit.
- Mom's gonna get whacked?

242
00:16:11,300 --> 00:16:15,300
- What did you do?
- Oh dear, there are so many people to thank.

243
00:16:15,300 --> 00:16:18,200
God, of course, and um... who else?

244
00:16:18,300 --> 00:16:20,300
Oh, this is so unexpected.

245
00:16:22,500 --> 00:16:26,000
- Oh, yes, Satan.
- I'm sorry, Lois. The hit's still on.

246
00:16:26,100 --> 00:16:29,300
- All I got was this wedding invitation.
- Wait a second, Peter.

247
00:16:29,400 --> 00:16:31,800
The don's daughter's wedding. That's perfect.

248
00:16:31,900 --> 00:16:35,100
It's not that perfect.
We'll probably have to buy a gift.

249
00:16:35,200 --> 00:16:37,500
And you know how bad I am at buyin' gifts.

250
00:16:37,900 --> 00:16:39,900
Happy freakin' birthday, Lois.

251
00:16:40,000 --> 00:16:42,500
Oh, my goodness. It's a...

252
00:16:42,600 --> 00:16:44,900
Ah, another sword.

253
00:16:44,900 --> 00:16:48,800
- Thank you, Peter.
- Go ahead, try it on.

254
00:16:49,000 --> 00:16:53,900
Didn't you see The Godfather?  The don can't
refuse a favour on his daughter's wedding.

255
00:16:54,000 --> 00:16:57,300
- So?
- So we can ask him for a favour.

256
00:16:57,400 --> 00:17:00,700
- So?
- So we ask him to call off the hit.

257
00:17:00,800 --> 00:17:02,900
- So?
- So...

258
00:17:03,100 --> 00:17:06,100
Peter, I don't know how
to explain it any clearer than that.

259
00:17:06,200 --> 00:17:08,300
You can ask them not to kill Mom.

260
00:17:08,400 --> 00:17:12,400
No way, it's too dangerous.
I got you into this and I'll get you out of it.

261
00:17:12,600 --> 00:17:16,400
No, Peter, when we got married
we agreed to share our lives.

262
00:17:16,500 --> 00:17:18,500
- Good times and bad.
- So?

263
00:17:18,600 --> 00:17:22,000
- So we'll solve this problem.
- Wait. You mean, together?

264
00:17:22,100 --> 00:17:27,900
Yes, because together we can do anything,
face any foe, overcome any obstacle.

265
00:17:28,000 --> 00:17:31,900
Yeah, climb any mountain,
rent any video, dial any phone.

266
00:17:31,900 --> 00:17:34,600
And not just our phone,
Lois, other people's phones.

267
00:17:34,700 --> 00:17:37,100
Decent phones, God-fearing phones,

268
00:17:37,100 --> 00:17:42,400
phones that everybody else gave up on,
but we knew better, because we were a team.

269
00:17:42,500 --> 00:17:44,300
What the hell are you talking about?

270
00:17:45,700 --> 00:17:48,300
Turn right at fork in road.

271
00:17:48,400 --> 00:17:52,900
- In Soviet Russia, road forks you. 
- Boy, is that gettin' old.

272
00:17:54,500 --> 00:17:58,900
I don't know. What if somethin' happens
to ya? I'm too old to start dating again.

273
00:17:59,100 --> 00:18:05,000
OK, bachelor number one. I'm an ice-cream
cone. How are you gonna eat me?

274
00:18:05,100 --> 00:18:10,100
I'd invite my friend Rudy over and
the two of us would give you a double dip.

275
00:18:10,200 --> 00:18:12,300
OK. Bachelor number two?

276
00:18:12,400 --> 00:18:15,800
I'd lick off all the cream and
give you my special whip topping.

277
00:18:15,900 --> 00:18:17,900
Sounds good. Bachelor number three?

278
00:18:17,900 --> 00:18:21,700
Well, I would try to eat you
really fast, before I got flaccid.

279
00:18:22,800 --> 00:18:26,800
- I'll be fine. All we have to do is blend in.
- No problem.

280
00:18:38,400 --> 00:18:40,400
For my next number...

281
00:18:40,500 --> 00:18:42,000
Thank you very much.

282
00:18:46,200 --> 00:18:48,900
- David Schwimmer?
- Yeah. Hey.

283
00:18:49,000 --> 00:18:52,700
- What are you gonna ask the don for?
- World peace.

284
00:18:54,400 --> 00:18:58,100
- Number 34. Three-four.
- Right here.

285
00:18:58,400 --> 00:19:02,000
Peter, my good friend. How good of you
to come and show your respect,

286
00:19:02,100 --> 00:19:04,500
on this, the day of my daughter's wedding.

287
00:19:04,600 --> 00:19:07,700
Yeah, sorry I didn't bring a gift,
but the stores were mobbed.

288
00:19:07,800 --> 00:19:09,800
Uh, I mean, mobbed as in crowded.

289
00:19:09,900 --> 00:19:13,400
Not... not mobbed as in... you guys.

290
00:19:13,500 --> 00:19:16,500
Who is this enchanting woman?

291
00:19:16,500 --> 00:19:18,700
This is my wife, Lois. Ah!

292
00:19:18,700 --> 00:19:21,800
Your honour, sir, we've come to ask...

293
00:19:21,900 --> 00:19:24,700
- Let me handle this.
- Peter, I thought we were a team.

294
00:19:24,700 --> 00:19:27,300
Listen, Your Don-ness.
I got a little favour to ask.

295
00:19:27,400 --> 00:19:33,900
Go ahead. I am obligated to grant one favour
on this, the day of my daughter's wedding.

296
00:19:34,000 --> 00:19:37,100
While you ask me for this
one and only favour,

297
00:19:37,200 --> 00:19:40,400
I will sit here and enjoy
this very fine tiramisu.

298
00:19:40,500 --> 00:19:43,100
- Oh, can I have a piece?
- Granted.

299
00:19:43,100 --> 00:19:45,100
- Next.
- Aw, crap.

300
00:19:45,600 --> 00:19:48,100
I'm sorry I used up our favour, Lois.

301
00:19:48,200 --> 00:19:51,800
You know what? Here. It's yours.
No, no, really. I insist.

302
00:19:51,900 --> 00:19:55,900
Peter, I'm gonna be killed.
Does that mean nothing to you?

303
00:19:56,100 --> 00:19:59,500
Of course it does.
It means everything to me.

304
00:19:59,500 --> 00:20:02,300
- Oh, God. What have I done?
- I'm not marrying you.

305
00:20:02,400 --> 00:20:05,000
I'm not marrying you,
you spoiled guinea... Whoops.

306
00:20:05,100 --> 00:20:09,300
My daughter, what is the problem on this,
the day of my daughter's wedding?

307
00:20:09,400 --> 00:20:12,100
Larry wants to whack someone
on our honeymoon.

308
00:20:12,200 --> 00:20:14,500
Hey, it's my job, all right?
This is what I do.

309
00:20:14,700 --> 00:20:17,600
You two should stop fighting
and listen to each other.

310
00:20:17,700 --> 00:20:22,100
See, marriage is a partnership. If you really
love someone, you gotta work together,

311
00:20:22,200 --> 00:20:25,600
as a team. I... I learned that the hard way.

312
00:20:25,700 --> 00:20:29,000
I didn't listen to what my wife had to say
and now she's as good as dead.

313
00:20:29,100 --> 00:20:33,000
- Oh, Peter.
- That's awful. Is this your wife?

314
00:20:33,100 --> 00:20:36,100
Yeah, that's Lois. Ah!

315
00:20:36,200 --> 00:20:38,900
I guess we could postpone our trip.

316
00:20:39,000 --> 00:20:43,500
We won't have to. I don't believe this.
She's the one I'm supposed to whack.

317
00:20:46,300 --> 00:20:49,700
- Peter.
- Please, you gotta do me one more favour.

318
00:20:49,800 --> 00:20:53,400
Look, I love my wife
more than anything in the world.

319
00:20:53,500 --> 00:20:56,100
Can you please shoot me instead of her?

320
00:20:56,500 --> 00:21:00,700
Such tenderness and love on this,
the day of my daughter's wedding.

321
00:21:00,800 --> 00:21:04,400
- Why don't I just call off the hit?
- Oh. Yeah, that could work.

322
00:21:04,500 --> 00:21:08,300
Wait. We're a team. Is that OK with you?
Because your opinion matters too.

323
00:21:08,300 --> 00:21:12,500
Yes, let's get the hell outta here.
Thank you for a lovely time.

324
00:21:13,500 --> 00:21:16,100
- Yeah, it's the blue sedan.
- No tip, sir.

325
00:21:16,200 --> 00:21:19,800
Ah, nice kid. Well, I think
I handled that pretty good.

326
00:21:19,900 --> 00:21:22,700
But... but I would like a second opinion.

327
00:21:22,800 --> 00:21:24,600
Here it is.

328
00:21:27,400 --> 00:21:31,800
- Oh, my God, our car!
- Man, am I glad I caught you.

329
00:21:31,900 --> 00:21:34,900
I almost forgot. Don't start your car...

330
00:21:35,200 --> 00:21:39,000
- Hey, thanks for comin'.
- Oh, what a horrible night.

331
00:21:39,100 --> 00:21:41,400
It's not so bad, Lois. I learned my lesson.

332
00:21:41,500 --> 00:21:44,500
And best of all, nobody important got hurt.

333
00:22:11,200 --> 00:22:13,600
Visiontext Subtitles:
Marisa Castle de Joncaire

334
00:22:23,900 --> 00:22:25,900
ENGLISH SDH



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