1
00:00:03,800 --> 00:00:06,500
We now return to "Sherry and the Anus".

2
00:00:07,000 --> 00:00:09,800
- Anus, are you still up?
- Yeah, come on in, sis.

3
00:00:09,800 --> 00:00:13,000
Have you ever had to tell a lie
in order to keep a friend?

4
00:00:13,100 --> 00:00:17,400
Well, the other day I told Jane her blouse
was pretty when it was really pee-ew.

5
00:00:19,000 --> 00:00:21,100
Anus, I'm serious.

6
00:00:21,200 --> 00:00:25,600
Look, sometimes it's better to tell a little fib
than to hurt someone's feelings.

7
00:00:25,600 --> 00:00:27,800
You're the best.

8
00:00:40,200 --> 00:00:41,600
Oh, that was good.

9
00:00:41,700 --> 00:00:44,900
Funnier than the one where Anus
got the hamster stuck in his mouth.

10
00:00:45,600 --> 00:00:49,000
It seems today that all you see

11
00:00:49,100 --> 00:00:52,400
Is violence in movies and sex on TV

12
00:00:52,400 --> 00:00:56,000
But where are those
good old-fashioned values

13
00:00:56,100 --> 00:00:58,100
On which we used to rely?

14
00:00:59,100 --> 00:01:02,300
Lucky there's a family guy

15
00:01:02,400 --> 00:01:07,300
Lucky there's a man who positively
can do all the things that make us

16
00:01:07,400 --> 00:01:09,000
Laugh and cry

17
00:01:09,100 --> 00:01:14,300
He's a family guy

18
00:01:19,800 --> 00:01:23,800
Ah, the old alma mater. I tell you,
there's something magical about Brown.

19
00:01:23,900 --> 00:01:26,700
Brown's the colour of poo!

20
00:01:28,300 --> 00:01:30,000
Yes. Yes, it is.

21
00:01:30,100 --> 00:01:33,200
Oh, I haven't been on
a college campus in years.

22
00:01:33,300 --> 00:01:36,000
- Everything seems so different.
- Really?

23
00:01:36,000 --> 00:01:40,100
If you laid on your back with your ankles
behind your ears that would ring a bell.

24
00:01:42,000 --> 00:01:44,100
Excuse me. We're here to see the dean.

25
00:01:44,200 --> 00:01:47,200
Nobody sees the dean.
Not nobody, not nohow.

26
00:01:47,300 --> 00:01:48,700
I'm sorry. Can I help you?

27
00:01:48,800 --> 00:01:52,500
Yes, this is Meg Griffin.
She's here to see the dean of admissions

28
00:01:52,600 --> 00:01:56,500
and we'd, uh, like it
if she got into the university.

29
00:01:58,200 --> 00:02:01,300
- Go on. Take it.
- Wait over there.

30
00:02:02,200 --> 00:02:05,000
My days in college were so exciting.

31
00:02:05,100 --> 00:02:10,200
This one time the National Guard
came and shot some of my friends.

32
00:02:10,300 --> 00:02:13,000
You must be the Griffins. Come in.

33
00:02:13,100 --> 00:02:16,400
Oops. Honey, you got a little smudge.

34
00:02:16,400 --> 00:02:19,400
Hey, you got something
on your other cheek too.

35
00:02:23,100 --> 00:02:27,300
- And this is Pembroke Quad.
- Oh, very nice. Very Brideshead Revisited. 

36
00:02:27,400 --> 00:02:30,500
Being on this campus
really brings back memories.

37
00:02:37,100 --> 00:02:39,000
Cowards!

38
00:02:40,200 --> 00:02:43,100
What ho? A veritable bevy of co-eds.

39
00:02:44,200 --> 00:02:49,800
Um... the recent campus sporting event was
most disappointing for our side, wasn't it?

40
00:02:49,800 --> 00:02:53,900
Oh, aren't you adorable?
Are you in a fraternity, little boy?

41
00:02:54,000 --> 00:02:57,400
Not yet, but I'm thinking
about joining I Phelta Thi.

42
00:02:58,800 --> 00:03:00,400
Oh.

43
00:03:00,500 --> 00:03:03,600
So, what do you think
of this "music television"?

44
00:03:05,500 --> 00:03:08,300
If I remember correctly,
this is the physics department.

45
00:03:08,400 --> 00:03:11,200
That explains all the gravity.

46
00:03:17,000 --> 00:03:21,100
I say! It's like the spice rack
in my fantasy kitchen!

47
00:03:22,200 --> 00:03:25,000
Hold on, little fella! This is just for big people.

48
00:03:25,100 --> 00:03:27,900
Why don't you come back in about 17 years?

49
00:03:28,000 --> 00:03:31,700
But the shelf life of that Sodium Pentothal
is only two years and...

50
00:03:31,800 --> 00:03:35,800
Blast! This isn't the first time
I've been thwarted by my small stature.

51
00:03:36,200 --> 00:03:39,300
OK, our next lot is number 15
in your programme.

52
00:03:39,400 --> 00:03:43,200
This is a one-of-a-kind item,
a super-mega death ray.

53
00:03:43,300 --> 00:03:47,600
It's got the power to enslave the entire
human race. Do we have an opening bid?

54
00:03:47,600 --> 00:03:50,000
Ooh! Ooh! Ooh!

55
00:03:50,100 --> 00:03:51,300
- Anything?
- Ooh! Ooh!

56
00:03:51,400 --> 00:03:53,400
- We'll take any bid.
- Here!

57
00:03:53,500 --> 00:03:56,500
It can enslave the human race.
Come on. It's solid titanium.

58
00:03:56,600 --> 00:03:58,300
You! Here in the back!

59
00:03:58,400 --> 00:04:00,700
- Do I hear $100? $5?
- Oh, come on.

60
00:04:00,800 --> 00:04:02,700
- Yeah! Ooh!
- Free?

61
00:04:02,800 --> 00:04:05,500
- Enslave the human race.
- Behind the fat chick!

62
00:04:05,600 --> 00:04:06,700
- Nope?
- D'oh!

63
00:04:06,800 --> 00:04:08,000
OK.

64
00:04:08,100 --> 00:04:10,100
Ooh! Ooh!

65
00:04:11,000 --> 00:04:12,400
Argh!

66
00:04:12,800 --> 00:04:15,100
I'm tired of being small.

67
00:04:20,300 --> 00:04:23,200
I wish I was big.

68
00:04:28,500 --> 00:04:29,400
Blast!

69
00:04:30,000 --> 00:04:32,600
Well, let's take a look at your transcript.

70
00:04:32,700 --> 00:04:34,800
"Meg." Hm.

71
00:04:34,900 --> 00:04:36,900
That's not very impressive.

72
00:04:37,000 --> 00:04:39,700
It's just three letters. It's hardly a name at all.

73
00:04:39,800 --> 00:04:41,600
I never wanted to call her Meg.

74
00:04:41,700 --> 00:04:45,800
I wanted to call her Twiki. But Lois
said kids now wouldn't get the reference.

75
00:04:45,900 --> 00:04:48,500
You know what I'm talking about?
Bidibidibidi.

76
00:04:48,600 --> 00:04:53,400
I'm not sure you're Brown material.
Don't you have any extracurricular activities?

77
00:04:53,500 --> 00:04:57,900
Well, I'm president of the Luke Perry
fan club, Quahog chapter.

78
00:04:58,400 --> 00:05:02,000
But I've wanted to go to Brown
ever since I was a little girl.

79
00:05:02,100 --> 00:05:05,000
Well, actually, I really wanted
to go to Wellesley

80
00:05:05,000 --> 00:05:09,200
but Mom said I might as well buy hiking
boots and call myself a lesbian right now.

81
00:05:09,300 --> 00:05:11,500
Meg! Eat your salad.

82
00:05:11,600 --> 00:05:13,600
- We're not having dinner.
- Then be quiet.

83
00:05:15,700 --> 00:05:19,600
I have no future! I'm just gonna
wait in my room until I'm dead.

84
00:05:19,700 --> 00:05:22,500
- I'll be in shortly.
- We've gotta do something.

85
00:05:22,600 --> 00:05:26,000
If Meg doesn't get into college,
who knows what future she'll have?

86
00:05:26,100 --> 00:05:30,200
- You ain't getting this meat. This is my meat.
- Shut up. I found this meat.

87
00:05:38,400 --> 00:05:40,200
I'm never gonna get into college.

88
00:05:40,300 --> 00:05:43,200
You just need more extracurricular activities.

89
00:05:43,300 --> 00:05:46,600
- You could get a part-time job.
- I had one when I was in high school.

90
00:05:55,100 --> 00:05:57,100
- Oh! Argh!
- Argh!

91
00:05:57,200 --> 00:05:58,800
That'll be $27.50.

92
00:05:59,600 --> 00:06:02,500
Come on. There's gotta be
a hundred clubs at your school.

93
00:06:02,600 --> 00:06:05,600
Uh, well, I do have a friend
on the school newspaper.

94
00:06:05,700 --> 00:06:08,500
Attagirl. And I got your first story right here.

95
00:06:08,600 --> 00:06:13,300
Lois, I challenge you
to a race around the world.

96
00:06:13,400 --> 00:06:14,800
Go!

97
00:06:16,700 --> 00:06:18,900
Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!

98
00:06:20,800 --> 00:06:23,300
We need a picture for the front page.

99
00:06:23,400 --> 00:06:25,400
Hold on. I gotta rinse my retainer.

100
00:06:25,400 --> 00:06:29,900
I'm looking for something
like the spread in last month's Vanity Fair.

101
00:06:30,000 --> 00:06:33,200
That was so sweet.
It was wicked, awesome.

102
00:06:33,300 --> 00:06:35,400
Stop the presses! It's Meg!

103
00:06:35,500 --> 00:06:38,600
I'm just joshing. It's all done
on Xerox. What can I do you?

104
00:06:38,700 --> 00:06:42,800
Look, Neil, I need an activity to get
into Brown. The paper is my last hope.

105
00:06:42,800 --> 00:06:46,600
- Can I be a reporter?
- I don't know, Meg.

106
00:06:46,600 --> 00:06:51,100
You never seem to be that interested in
journalism-or journalists, such as myself.

107
00:06:52,700 --> 00:06:57,900
You know, I never realised how smooth
the skin between your acne is.

108
00:07:00,600 --> 00:07:05,100
OK, I'll give you a shot. I've never been
able to get an interview with the mayor.

109
00:07:05,200 --> 00:07:08,400
- You get it and I'll make you a reporter.
- You got it.

110
00:07:10,300 --> 00:07:15,100
Run, little rabbit, run.
But some day our two worlds will be one.

111
00:07:15,800 --> 00:07:17,500
I hope my face clears up by then.

112
00:07:22,600 --> 00:07:25,300
- Excuse me, Mayor?
- How do you know my language?

113
00:07:25,400 --> 00:07:28,600
Listen to me.
My entire future is in your hands.

114
00:07:28,700 --> 00:07:33,400
- Are you Sarah Connor?
- No, I'm Meg Griffin. I need to interview you.

115
00:07:33,500 --> 00:07:35,200
- You're with the press?
- Yes.

116
00:07:35,200 --> 00:07:39,100
Well, you can't interview
a dead man... can you?

117
00:07:50,400 --> 00:07:54,500
- What about my interview?
- Mayor West asked me to give you this.

118
00:07:55,000 --> 00:07:56,000
Uh-oh.

119
00:07:59,000 --> 00:08:01,400
Of course, you realise this means war.

120
00:08:19,800 --> 00:08:20,900
No.

121
00:08:21,000 --> 00:08:23,500
No, that's what they'll be expecting.

122
00:08:29,800 --> 00:08:31,700
Mayor West?

123
00:08:31,800 --> 00:08:36,000
Well, well, Mr Toilet.
I thought you were in the Hamptons.

124
00:08:36,000 --> 00:08:38,200
No. No, no, it's me, Meg Griffin.

125
00:08:38,300 --> 00:08:41,400
I don't talk to the press
under any circumstances.

126
00:08:41,500 --> 00:08:44,500
- What makes you think I'll talk now?
- This.

127
00:08:46,000 --> 00:08:48,000
You just don't give up, do you?

128
00:08:48,100 --> 00:08:53,800
You seize life by the throat and shake it
like a topless bartender mixing a martini.

129
00:08:53,900 --> 00:08:56,100
You've got your interview.

130
00:08:56,200 --> 00:08:59,800
- Thanks!
- Hey! Hey! Listen to this.

131
00:09:00,300 --> 00:09:03,700
Do I sound like
I'm on old-time radio?

132
00:09:05,700 --> 00:09:07,200
Mm! Oh!

133
00:09:07,300 --> 00:09:10,000
No more treats.
You're gonna spoil your dinner.

134
00:09:10,000 --> 00:09:12,400
Oh, come on!

135
00:09:14,200 --> 00:09:16,300
Oh, damn my small stature.

136
00:09:16,400 --> 00:09:19,900
If I were big, oh, just think where I would be.

137
00:09:20,300 --> 00:09:23,900
Tired of not being able to find
clothes that fit? I know I was.

138
00:09:24,000 --> 00:09:28,000
That's why I started Stewie's Big and
Tall Man Shop. If you're portly or tall,

139
00:09:28,100 --> 00:09:32,500
you'll find a friendly atmosphere brimming
with personalised and expert service.

140
00:09:32,600 --> 00:09:37,600
- Hey, Stewie, how's the weather up there?
- Very fair... like our prices.

141
00:09:39,000 --> 00:09:41,200
Hey, dude. You want some of these?

142
00:09:42,500 --> 00:09:45,400
I say, here's the solution to my troubles.

143
00:09:45,500 --> 00:09:49,100
If I could build a device to harness
the size of that leviathan,

144
00:09:49,200 --> 00:09:53,600
there's no limit to what I could...
Oh, my God, there's an orgy in my mouth.

145
00:09:55,300 --> 00:09:58,200
"Got milk?" That's a funny one too.

146
00:09:58,300 --> 00:10:01,500
Oh, and, uh "I got ya, diagonally".

147
00:10:01,600 --> 00:10:04,500
"Pretty sneaky, sis." That one's also funny.

148
00:10:04,600 --> 00:10:08,900
Mayor West, you've been talking for an hour
and I don't have anything I can use.

149
00:10:09,000 --> 00:10:13,100
- Can't you just please...
- My God! Somebody's stealing my water.

150
00:10:13,200 --> 00:10:15,800
It just went down the drain.

151
00:10:15,900 --> 00:10:19,600
They're crafty, I tell you.
It happens when you least expect it.

152
00:10:19,600 --> 00:10:23,900
Show yourself, damn you!
I've been investigating him for months.

153
00:10:24,000 --> 00:10:27,600
It's cost $150,000 of the taxpayers' money

154
00:10:27,600 --> 00:10:30,200
but I'll find the culprits
if it costs me a million.

155
00:10:30,500 --> 00:10:34,100
You spent public money investigating this? 

156
00:10:34,200 --> 00:10:37,400
Thanks. You know, I think I have my story.

157
00:10:37,500 --> 00:10:39,600
Your story? Wait a minute!

158
00:10:40,800 --> 00:10:45,300
You can't print that!
It'll compromise my entire investigation!

159
00:10:46,300 --> 00:10:49,800
Well, thank God she's just
a figment of my imagination.

160
00:11:04,300 --> 00:11:07,500
Well, let's take the old boy
out for a spin. Eyes open!

161
00:11:08,400 --> 00:11:11,100
Voice test: I'm Chris.

162
00:11:11,200 --> 00:11:14,000
- I'm Chris.
- Eviscerate the proletariat.

163
00:11:14,100 --> 00:11:16,300
Eviscerate the proletariat!

164
00:11:21,000 --> 00:11:22,600
Puttin' on the Ritz!

165
00:11:22,700 --> 00:11:26,100
Not my bit, but still funny. System off.

166
00:11:26,200 --> 00:11:28,200
Splendid.

167
00:11:33,400 --> 00:11:36,700
- I did it! I got a great story.
- So, what did your editor say?

168
00:11:36,800 --> 00:11:39,400
He was gone for the day
so I left it on his desk.

169
00:11:39,400 --> 00:11:41,400
But here, I brought you a copy.

170
00:11:41,500 --> 00:11:44,800
Oh, my God. "Corruption
in City Hall." This is amazing.

171
00:11:44,900 --> 00:11:46,600
Hey, let me see that.

172
00:11:47,000 --> 00:11:49,900
This'll never get Meg
on the paper. This is old news.

173
00:11:50,000 --> 00:11:52,900
There have been political scandals
since Thomas Jefferson.

174
00:11:54,700 --> 00:11:58,200
Oh, hold on. Honey,
let's get all the kids in this.

175
00:12:01,000 --> 00:12:04,000
I know kids, and this story's
gonna put 'em to sleep.

176
00:12:04,100 --> 00:12:09,400
Meg needs something that'll pull those kids
away from their Rock 'Em Sock 'Em robots

177
00:12:09,500 --> 00:12:14,000
and their Spirographs and
their Moby Grape and their 90210.

178
00:12:17,000 --> 00:12:21,100
Luke Perry. That's it! Brian, I got my story.

179
00:12:29,200 --> 00:12:34,200
Now, to get this story on the school editor's
desk is gonna take a portion of my cunning.

180
00:12:34,300 --> 00:12:36,200
No! No.

181
00:12:36,300 --> 00:12:38,200
All my cunning.

182
00:12:41,500 --> 00:12:43,500
Duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh!

183
00:12:44,500 --> 00:12:47,300
Duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh!

184
00:12:47,600 --> 00:12:49,900
Duh-duh-duh-duh-duh!

185
00:12:50,000 --> 00:12:52,400
Duh-duh-duh duh-luuh-luh-luuh-luh-luh!

186
00:12:52,800 --> 00:12:54,100
Duh!

187
00:12:56,100 --> 00:12:57,200
Duh-duh!

188
00:12:57,400 --> 00:12:59,200
Duh-duh!

189
00:12:59,300 --> 00:13:01,800
Duh-duh! Dah-dah-dah-dah-dah-dah!

190
00:13:03,000 --> 00:13:04,400
Duh-duh!

191
00:13:04,600 --> 00:13:06,800
Duh-duh!

192
00:13:07,000 --> 00:13:10,100
Duh-duh-duh
duh-luuh luh-luuh luh-luuh-luh!

193
00:13:10,200 --> 00:13:11,000
Dah!

194
00:13:17,600 --> 00:13:20,600
Duh-duh duh-duh-duh-daah!

195
00:13:24,500 --> 00:13:27,500
- Great story, Meg.
- Oh, thanks!

196
00:13:27,600 --> 00:13:29,000
Way to go, Meg!

197
00:13:32,200 --> 00:13:36,400
Congratulations, Meg. This is the most
sensational story we've ever had.

198
00:13:36,500 --> 00:13:37,400
Argh!

199
00:13:43,400 --> 00:13:47,500
- Luke! Time for dinner!
- In a minute, babe.

200
00:13:47,600 --> 00:13:53,600
I'm just reading every high-school newspaper
in America to see if I'm mentioned.

201
00:13:54,100 --> 00:13:55,800
Oh, my God!

202
00:13:55,800 --> 00:13:58,600
Meg Griffin, you are so sued.

203
00:13:59,200 --> 00:14:02,100
Duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duuh!

204
00:14:02,200 --> 00:14:04,600
Duddle-duddle-duddle-duddle-duddle-duh!

205
00:14:08,600 --> 00:14:12,400
- Luke Perry is suing us?
- Dad, how could you do this to me?

206
00:14:12,500 --> 00:14:15,400
- I love Luke Perry.
- Meg, you're wasting your time.

207
00:14:15,500 --> 00:14:19,300
- Don't you read the papers? He's gay.
- You can't just print lies.

208
00:14:19,400 --> 00:14:21,400
- He has a wife and son.
- So what?

209
00:14:21,500 --> 00:14:26,100
A lot of these famous types lead secret lives
we don't know about. Like Ricky Martin.

210
00:14:26,500 --> 00:14:29,300
Ricky, we love you! We love you!

211
00:14:40,600 --> 00:14:43,900
- One minute to curtain, Jewel.
- Jewel! Jewel!

212
00:14:44,000 --> 00:14:47,400
I just wanted you to have something
to put on your transcript.

213
00:14:47,500 --> 00:14:51,500
Thanks to you I can put that I'm a big liar
who makes up stories about people.

214
00:14:51,600 --> 00:14:55,900
It worked for Walter Cronkite... You know
that Vietnam thing? Never happened.

215
00:14:56,000 --> 00:15:00,000
Don't mention it at the veterans' hospital.
Those guys are committed to the lie.

216
00:15:01,900 --> 00:15:04,900
Aw, don't cry, sweetheart.
I'll make it up to you.

217
00:15:05,000 --> 00:15:07,500
Remember the pony you wanted
when you were six?

218
00:15:07,600 --> 00:15:11,900
Well, I bought him and I've been saving him
for a time like this. Surprise!

219
00:15:13,800 --> 00:15:16,300
Oh. Oh, God. That's right. Ponies...

220
00:15:16,400 --> 00:15:19,600
Ponies like food, don't they? Oh, boy.

221
00:15:21,800 --> 00:15:27,200
Poor Meg. I know it sounds crazy but I can't
help feeling like this is somehow my fault.

222
00:15:27,300 --> 00:15:31,000
No, it's Luke Perry's fault.
If he were gay Meg would be all set.

223
00:15:31,100 --> 00:15:36,100
Brian, that's it! If I could get a picture
of Luke Perry doing something gaylike

224
00:15:36,200 --> 00:15:38,900
it'll make people believe Meg's story is true!

225
00:15:39,000 --> 00:15:41,300
- Yeeh!
- How the hell are you gonna do that?

226
00:15:41,400 --> 00:15:44,000
Hey, I've gotten people
to believe crazier things.

227
00:15:44,200 --> 00:15:50,000
"And if you are pure of heart and deed you'll
all go to a beautiful place called Heaven."

228
00:15:50,800 --> 00:15:54,000
I'm yanking you. You just rot in the ground.

229
00:15:58,200 --> 00:16:00,400
All right, now walk up to the counter.

230
00:16:05,000 --> 00:16:06,900
That's it. Ring the bell.

231
00:16:07,200 --> 00:16:09,500
- Well, hi there.
- Good day, shopkeep.

232
00:16:09,600 --> 00:16:11,200
Good day, shopkeep.

233
00:16:11,300 --> 00:16:15,700
I require a hand-operated buzz saw capable
of cutting through a human sternum.

234
00:16:15,800 --> 00:16:18,300
- What?
- It's for a school project.

235
00:16:18,400 --> 00:16:21,100
I'm some sort of student sent here for...

236
00:16:21,200 --> 00:16:24,500
Oh, blast! What the devil
do they study? Uh... Latin class.

237
00:16:24,600 --> 00:16:27,800
Uh, sorry, kid. I can't
sell power tools to minors.

238
00:16:28,200 --> 00:16:33,300
Look here, you gourd-bellied codpiece. Allow
me to purchase the provisions I demand

239
00:16:33,400 --> 00:16:36,900
or I shall transform your blue collar
into a red one and...

240
00:16:37,000 --> 00:16:40,200
Who the deuce are you?
No, I don't have any spare change.

241
00:16:40,300 --> 00:16:44,500
Where the hell would I keep it?
In my diaper? Get outta here, you hobo!

242
00:16:44,600 --> 00:16:47,800
Oh, bloody hell. Is this thing still on?

243
00:16:50,400 --> 00:16:55,100
All right, now, we gotta be very crafty
so Luke Perry doesn't recognise us.

244
00:16:56,200 --> 00:16:57,800
Argh!

245
00:17:00,100 --> 00:17:03,000
How is he gonna recognise us?
He doesn't know who we are.

246
00:17:03,100 --> 00:17:05,800
Oh. Huh. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, you're right.

247
00:17:07,700 --> 00:17:09,300
Oh!

248
00:17:15,100 --> 00:17:18,600
- Sir, you look familiar.
- Yeah, I'm that guy you wish you were.

249
00:17:18,700 --> 00:17:21,600
OK, as soon as I seduce him
get ready to snap the picture.

250
00:17:21,700 --> 00:17:24,000
You're really gonna try
and seduce Luke Perry?

251
00:17:24,100 --> 00:17:29,000
Listen, Brian, I'd take a bullet for Meg
so I'm sure I can take a... Here he is.

252
00:17:42,600 --> 00:17:44,500
- Thirsty?
- No.

253
00:17:46,900 --> 00:17:51,700
Gee, the sun seems really strong,
even for my already-bronzed skin.

254
00:17:53,200 --> 00:17:56,400
Oh, my muscles are all...
Look, they're all shiny with oil.

255
00:17:56,500 --> 00:18:00,400
But how am I ever gonna spread it
on my rippling back and thighs?

256
00:18:01,800 --> 00:18:06,900
Ah, this is gonna take drastic measures.
All right, get the camera ready. Oh, Luke!

257
00:18:11,100 --> 00:18:14,300
Mission accomplished, Peter.

258
00:18:14,400 --> 00:18:17,900
- We have a picture of Luke Perry vomiting.
- That's no good.

259
00:18:18,000 --> 00:18:20,800
Gays don't vomit.
They're a very clean people.

260
00:18:20,900 --> 00:18:23,700
They have been ever since
they first came here from France.

261
00:18:44,300 --> 00:18:47,300
- Hi, honey. How was school?
- Just great.

262
00:18:47,400 --> 00:18:50,700
I can't even say my name without
people asking me if I made it up.

263
00:18:50,800 --> 00:18:54,700
- How could Dad do this to me?
- Aw, honey, he wasn't doing it to you.

264
00:18:54,800 --> 00:18:59,100
He was doing it for you. He knows
how much you want to go to Brown.

265
00:18:59,200 --> 00:19:02,000
There's no way I'm gonna
get in now. I'm a felon.

266
00:19:02,000 --> 00:19:04,800
Now, that's not true. Libel's not a felony.

267
00:19:04,900 --> 00:19:09,400
It's a civil matter. Don't worry.
Your father will straighten everything out.

268
00:19:09,500 --> 00:19:13,700
Come on. Let's go get our nails done.
Chris, take care of Stewie.

269
00:19:16,900 --> 00:19:20,300
- Five Seasons hotel.
- Hey there. You mind if I share a ride?

270
00:19:20,400 --> 00:19:23,300
- Uh, I don't think so, pal.
- Oh, my God, I know you!

271
00:19:23,400 --> 00:19:26,100
You're Luke Perry!
You were great in Rain Man. 

272
00:19:26,200 --> 00:19:30,200
That scene where you wanted to get on
the plane and that dumb guy was screaming.

273
00:19:30,300 --> 00:19:34,600
- Uh, that was Tom Cruise.
- Not in this movie theatre it wasn't.

274
00:19:34,700 --> 00:19:38,100
Every time I see that lame-o actor
I put your head on his body.

275
00:19:38,200 --> 00:19:41,300
Thanks. It's nice to meet someone
who appreciates my work.

276
00:19:41,400 --> 00:19:44,300
Come to my house so I can take
a picture of you in a gay pose.

277
00:19:44,400 --> 00:19:44,900
Huh?

278
00:19:45,000 --> 00:19:46,100
- Dinner?
- Sure.

279
00:19:50,600 --> 00:19:53,700
Dark Side of the Moon
synchs up with The Wizard of Oz. 

280
00:19:53,800 --> 00:19:57,900
Really? Shannen Doherty told me that
but I thought she was just being a bitch.

281
00:19:58,000 --> 00:19:59,800
Listen, I gotta get going.

282
00:19:59,900 --> 00:20:03,400
Oh, God! I'm sorry. You know
what's good for getting wine out?

283
00:20:03,500 --> 00:20:07,100
- Sex with another man.
- Whoa! Look, if you're gay, that's cool.

284
00:20:07,200 --> 00:20:11,300
But I am not. And even if I was...
Come on, I'm Luke Perry.

285
00:20:11,400 --> 00:20:13,400
I can get a much better gay guy than you.

286
00:20:14,700 --> 00:20:16,400
Oh, my God! Luke Perry!

287
00:20:16,500 --> 00:20:20,100
See, Meg? I told you your father
would explain about the article.

288
00:20:20,200 --> 00:20:22,100
Meg? Meg Griffin?

289
00:20:22,200 --> 00:20:26,600
- Uh, Peter, I think it's time for plan B.
- Way ahead of you, Brian.

290
00:20:29,000 --> 00:20:31,800
Don't worry, I packed my own backup chute.

291
00:20:32,300 --> 00:20:33,300
Aw, crap.

292
00:20:33,400 --> 00:20:35,700
I should've figured
you were up to something.

293
00:20:35,800 --> 00:20:40,900
This is all my fault. I was just trying to help
my daughter get onto the school newspaper.

294
00:20:41,000 --> 00:20:43,100
You know what it's like to be a teenager.

295
00:20:43,200 --> 00:20:48,300
- You've been playing one for 30 years.
- Won't you drop the lawsuit, please, Dylan?

296
00:20:48,400 --> 00:20:52,700
Ah, what the hell. But, hey,
you gotta print the real story.

297
00:20:52,800 --> 00:20:56,000
And this time I wanna talk to the real reporter.

298
00:20:56,100 --> 00:20:58,100
- Let's go, Meg.
- See, Meg?

299
00:20:58,200 --> 00:21:02,400
Things work out if you do whatever you want
without worrying about the consequences.

300
00:21:02,500 --> 00:21:06,500
Thanks, Daddy. Come on, Luke.
I got my computer in my room.

301
00:21:08,100 --> 00:21:09,900
Meg, keep your door open.

302
00:21:16,800 --> 00:21:19,700
I wanted to give you a copy
of my daughter's article.

303
00:21:21,500 --> 00:21:24,700
- Listen, thanks for the...
- Uh, Peter, I'm kind of busy.

304
00:21:24,800 --> 00:21:27,600
Oh! Uh, yeah. That's OK. Well, uh, thank...

305
00:21:28,400 --> 00:21:30,300
So, where were we?

306
00:21:30,700 --> 00:21:34,000
If I do this, do you promise
to stop stealing my water?

307
00:21:34,100 --> 00:21:36,100
Uh, yeah. Whatever.

308
00:22:04,600 --> 00:22:07,300
Visiontext Subtitles: Abigail Smith

309
00:22:14,000 --> 00:22:15,900
ENGLISH SDH



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