1
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It seems today that all you see

2
00:00:05,100 --> 00:00:08,400
Is violence in movies and sex on TV

3
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But where are those good
old-fashioned values

4
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On which we used to rely?

5
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Lucky there's a family guy

6
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Lucky there's a man who positively
can do all the things that make us

7
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Laugh and cry

8
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He's a family guy

9
00:00:32,100 --> 00:00:35,400
OK, OK. Here's another riddle.
A woman has two children.

10
00:00:35,500 --> 00:00:38,600
A homicidal maniac
tells her she can only keep one.

11
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Which one does she let him kill?

12
00:00:40,900 --> 00:00:44,300
That's... that's not a riddle,
that's... that's just terrible.

13
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- Wrong! The ugly one!
- Hey, Peter.

14
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Check out my new trampoline.

15
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Whee! Yeah! Whoa, momma!
Whoo! Whoo! Yeah!

16
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Jeez, Cleveland, that must have set you back.

17
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What'd you do, sell your body to science?
You know, I've thought of doin' that.

18
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All right, uh, Jenny, would you come up here
and show us where the femur is?

19
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Aaah!

20
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Get out of here, you little bastard.

21
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I knew this was the right thing to do.

22
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No, I just got a big tax refund.

23
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Uncle Sam sent me $500.

24
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- I got 600 bucks.
- I got 850.

25
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I got a rock.

26
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I spent my refund on a digital TV
with surround sound.

27
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It's got headphones, so I can watch Steven
Seagal movies without waking Bonnie.

28
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Yes! Lock and load!
Lock and load! Bring on the pain!

29
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I spent my refund on a plug-in playmate.

30
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So, a schoolteacher?
That must be interesting.

31
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Well, I'm gettin' somethin' special too.

32
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And by special, I don't mean special
like that Kleinerman boy down the street.

33
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More special like... like Special K, the cereal.

34
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What did they do with the regular K?

35
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For that matter,
what happened to Kaye Ballard?

36
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If you said "mallard" and you had
a cold, it would sound like "Ballard".

37
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- Do you listen when you talk?
- I drift in and out.

38
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You know, Rupert, the word "gullible"
is not in the dictionary.

39
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Oh, oh, you don't believe me?
Here! Look it up!

40
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What? What's that? It really isn't?
Oh, Rupert, touché!

41
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Hoisted by my own petard!

42
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Ah, I am so alone.

43
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Everybody, my tax refund is here. I'm gonna
buy us somethin' we've always wanted.

44
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- A cat?
- A stereo?

45
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- A pool?
- Oh, oh, I'm sorry. It is a pool.

46
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- Oh, joy unbounded!
- I'll feed it and take care of it!

47
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Oh, my God! It's better than I thought.

48
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An Audi! I'm gettin' a car!

49
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Uh, Peter, there's a "T" in there.
That says "audit".

50
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No, Brian, it's a foreign car. The "T" is silent.

51
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- Sweet! I'm gettin' an Audi!
- I have an "inny".

52
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- Uh, Miss Stratford?
- Come in, Mr Griffin. Don't be nervous.

53
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The IRS is much kinder and gentler
than we used to be.

54
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- You smell nice.
- What? Oh, that... that must be you.

55
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- No, it couldn't be me. I just farted.
- Oh.

56
00:03:14,300 --> 00:03:16,800
I just have a few questions about your return.

57
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Did you incur
any medical expenses this year?

58
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You can write off medical stuff? If I'd known,
I wouldn't have used a discount surgeon.

59
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Uh, I'm not sure which one to cut here.
The red one... or the blue one...

60
00:03:29,700 --> 00:03:32,300
OK, OK, just relax. Let's see, uh...

61
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First, why don't you attach
that green one to that purple one?

62
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OK. Here goes.

63
00:03:38,700 --> 00:03:40,500
- Oh, God!
- That kill me?

64
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- Uh-huh.
- I was afraid of that. Try the green and blue.

65
00:03:43,300 --> 00:03:46,400
Well, Mr Griffin,
you don't owe any additional money,

66
00:03:46,500 --> 00:03:49,200
but unfortunately,
you're not entitled to a refund.

67
00:03:49,300 --> 00:03:51,700
- Aah!
- Mr Griffin, are you OK?

68
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I'm sorry. I still haven't
gotten over the loss of Party of Five. 

69
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It'll take time to get over it.
What were you sayin'?

70
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- You're not entitled to a refund.
- Aah!

71
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- I'm sorry. Come again?
- You're not entitled to a refund.

72
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- Aah!
- Was that for Party of Five too?

73
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No, that was for my refund.
What the hell's Party of Five? 

74
00:04:13,100 --> 00:04:16,500
By God, I may not be able to give
my family a vibrating sex doll,

75
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- But at least I can give 'em a pool.
- Um... I say.

76
00:04:19,600 --> 00:04:23,900
If you find a human skeleton with a Lincoln
Log jammed in the temple, I didn't do it.

77
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But I need that log for my
recreation of James Madison's cabin.

78
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OK, kids, I don't want anyone swimmin' in
this pool unless there's a lifeguard on duty.

79
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Ha, ha, ha! "Duty".

80
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Ha, ha, ha! "Diarrhoea"!

81
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- Hey, Lois!
- What?

82
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Diarrhoea!

83
00:04:42,300 --> 00:04:44,900
Peter! I'm holdin' iced tea!

84
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Oh. Oh. You know, honey,
you don't have to do this.

85
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Maybe a pool is another one
of those things a family doesn't really need.

86
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Look, everybody. I got us another dog.

87
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- What the...?
- Hi. You guys have any Cheese Doodles?

88
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See, that's what I do.
I ask for a snack and I blow the horn.

89
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- Huh, look at this. Some kind of plastic root.
- There's no such thing as a plastic root.

90
00:05:12,100 --> 00:05:15,900
You bastards come into our village
and kill our fish, pollute our water. 

91
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I'm gonna send you back
to hell where you belong. 

92
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Noooo!

93
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- Goodbye. 
- Ah, damn it.

94
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Aw.

95
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I've fixed the power line, but the town's
zoning laws prohibit building a pool there.

96
00:05:48,200 --> 00:05:51,800
- What? It's my yard.
- Sorry, Your house is too close to the kerb.

97
00:05:51,900 --> 00:05:54,900
Oh, yeah? Well, your eyes
are too close to your nose.

98
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That may be. But you know what?

99
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I only have to wear one goggle
when I go swimming in my pool!

100
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- Hey, wait, wait, wait! Come back here!
- What?

101
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I have to draw you.

102
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You're why cavemen painted on walls.

103
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Damn government, telling me
I can't build a pool on my own land.

104
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After my grandfather helped create one of
our most beloved cartoon characters.

105
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OK. We've narrowed it down to two possible
names. All in favour of "Bugs Bunny"?

106
00:06:27,900 --> 00:06:31,300
And all in favour of
"Ephraim, the Retarded Rabbit"?

107
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Oh, you can all go to hell!

108
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- Hey, where's the mayor's office?
- Last door on the left.

109
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- Come on! Come on!
- Hello, is this the...

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Oh. Sorry. I thought
you were the district attorney.

111
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No, I'm Peter Griffin.
Oh, you're here about your pool.

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Step into my office.

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I'm here to serve the fine citizens of Quahog.
It'll be my pleasure to give you a permit.

114
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- Well, it's about time.
- Well, this is odd.

115
00:07:06,400 --> 00:07:09,200
- What?
- I've never encountered anything like this,

116
00:07:09,300 --> 00:07:11,900
but your property doesn't seem
to be on the map.

117
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It's not part of Quahog.

118
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What the hell are you talkin' about?
I've lived there for 12 years.

119
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Sorry, but according to this map,
you're not even part of these United States.

120
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Which would make you... a communist!

121
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- Ah!
- Yeah!

122
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- Ow!
- Damn! Usually my malcontents are skinnier.

123
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Would you come back in a week, when my
fat malcontent trap door will be completed?

124
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I'm not comin' back in a week, or ever!

125
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I've had it with you
and this damn government.

126
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Fine.

127
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I love this job more than I love taffy.

128
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And I'm a man who enjoys his taffy.

129
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Mmm.

130
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Ooh. Mmm.

131
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Oh. Hm.

132
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Hm. Mmm-mm.

133
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Mm. Oh, oh.

134
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Mmm.

135
00:08:08,100 --> 00:08:10,800
What's going on?
Did the city give you the permit?

136
00:08:10,900 --> 00:08:14,100
No, no. We're not part of this city.
We're not even part of this country.

137
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- And that makes us our own country.
- What are you talking about?

138
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Thanks to a technicality,
we have the right to secede from the US.

139
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From this day forth, this territory
will be known as "Petoria"!

140
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I was going to call it "Peterland",
but that gay bar by the airport took it.

141
00:08:33,400 --> 00:08:35,500
Our lead story tonight: Petoria.

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A new foreign country which was founded
this week, here in our own back yard.

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And in a Quahog News 5 Exclusive,
we sent our own little foreigner,

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Asian correspondent
Tricia Takanawa, to Petoria,

145
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where first lady Lois Griffin has graciously
agreed to give a tour of her country. Tricia.

146
00:08:51,700 --> 00:08:57,300
Thank you, Diane. So, Mrs Griffin, what's
it like being the woman behind the man?

147
00:08:57,400 --> 00:09:02,100
Ah, you know, when Peter first said we were
our own country, I was a bit sceptical.

148
00:09:02,200 --> 00:09:07,500
Then I thought "Hey! I could be like Hillary
Clinton!" Only, you know, without the penis.

149
00:09:07,600 --> 00:09:10,100
Tell us a little bit about your country.

150
00:09:10,200 --> 00:09:14,500
Well, we're a clean
and industrious people, mostly white.

151
00:09:14,600 --> 00:09:17,300
My son Chris is in charge
of our space programme.

152
00:09:17,400 --> 00:09:19,500
We hope to get to the moon very shortly.

153
00:09:20,300 --> 00:09:22,200
Almost!

154
00:09:24,200 --> 00:09:28,300
Ow! They should really use monkeys for this.

155
00:09:28,800 --> 00:09:32,200
And little Stewie here is
our President of Poopy.

156
00:09:32,300 --> 00:09:33,500
Oh, ha, ha, ha.

157
00:09:33,600 --> 00:09:35,900
So where is the president now?

158
00:09:36,000 --> 00:09:38,700
Oh, he's out on
a goodwill mission to America.

159
00:09:42,200 --> 00:09:46,300
Here you go, Mr President.
Mr President!

160
00:09:46,400 --> 00:09:51,500
Oh, Peter. That tickles me in a way
that if Loretta tickled me in that way,

161
00:09:51,600 --> 00:09:56,700
I'd say "Oh, yeah! That's nice.
That's the spot."

162
00:09:56,700 --> 00:10:01,600
What are you talkin' about? I'm a born leader.
Like my great-great-uncle Ulysses S Griffin.

163
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Chug-a-lug! Chug-a-lug!
Chug-a-lug! Chug-a-lug!

164
00:10:05,100 --> 00:10:08,100
- Yeah! Whoo!
- How's that, Robert E Lee?

165
00:10:08,200 --> 00:10:11,300
All right. No more slaves.
But we still don't have to read books.

166
00:10:11,400 --> 00:10:13,800
- Deal.
- Yeah!

167
00:10:14,200 --> 00:10:16,700
Barkeep! Petro-nemo-slappy-wag.

168
00:10:16,800 --> 00:10:20,200
That's Petorian for
"More beer, you slappy-wag."

169
00:10:20,300 --> 00:10:23,600
You still owe me for the other rounds,
which comes to 50 bucks.

170
00:10:23,700 --> 00:10:26,100
I'm a foreign diplomat. I don't pay for drinks.

171
00:10:26,200 --> 00:10:28,700
You think G Gordon Liddy paid for his drinks

172
00:10:28,800 --> 00:10:33,400
while he was stranglin' people with
piano wire for the good of our nation?

173
00:10:35,200 --> 00:10:38,500
Peter, you can't drink that outside.
You're gonna end up in jail.

174
00:10:38,600 --> 00:10:40,900
Not a good jail, like on Cinemax.
The man-jail.

175
00:10:40,900 --> 00:10:44,700
Go back and pay the bill, Peter.
You, uh, don't wanna break the law.

176
00:10:44,700 --> 00:10:47,500
I can do whatever I want. Watch this.

177
00:10:48,400 --> 00:10:51,200
Oh, now you're just bein' crazy.

178
00:10:51,500 --> 00:10:53,900
Hey, that's against the law.
You're comin' with me.

179
00:10:54,000 --> 00:10:56,100
Uh-uh-uh! Can't touch me.

180
00:10:58,400 --> 00:11:00,300
Can't touch me

181
00:11:00,400 --> 00:11:04,800
Ju-ju-ju-ju-just like the bad guy
from Lethal Weapon 2

182
00:11:04,900 --> 00:11:08,100
I've got diplomatic immunity,
so Hammer, you can't sue

183
00:11:08,500 --> 00:11:11,100
I can write graffiti, even jaywalk in the street

184
00:11:11,200 --> 00:11:14,100
I can riot, loot, not give a hoot,
and touch your sister's teat

185
00:11:14,200 --> 00:11:16,200
Can't touch me

186
00:11:17,300 --> 00:11:20,300
- Can't touch me
- What in God's name is he doing?

187
00:11:20,400 --> 00:11:23,100
- Can't touch me
- I believe that's the "Worm".

188
00:11:23,200 --> 00:11:25,800
Stop! Peter time!
I'm a big shot, there's no doubt

189
00:11:25,900 --> 00:11:27,300
Light a fire and pee it out

190
00:11:27,300 --> 00:11:29,000
Don't like it? Kiss my rump

191
00:11:29,100 --> 00:11:31,600
Just for a minute let's all do the bump

192
00:11:36,500 --> 00:11:37,800
Can't touch me

193
00:11:37,900 --> 00:11:39,500
Yeah, do the Peter Griffin bump

194
00:11:39,600 --> 00:11:41,600
Can't touch me

195
00:11:43,100 --> 00:11:46,100
I'm Presidential Peter, interns think I'm hot

196
00:11:46,100 --> 00:11:49,500
Don't care if you're handicapped,
I'll still park in your spot

197
00:11:49,500 --> 00:11:52,300
I've been around the world,
from Hartford to Bombay

198
00:11:52,700 --> 00:11:58,100
It's Peter, go Peter, up Peter, yo, Peter,
let's see Regis rap this way, can't touch me

199
00:12:00,400 --> 00:12:03,200
Except for you. You can touch me.

200
00:12:05,900 --> 00:12:11,300
Attention, delegates. This session
of the United Nations is hereby convened.

201
00:12:11,300 --> 00:12:15,300
Man, this sucks. Hey, Podium Guy!
Hey, I got a problem here.

202
00:12:15,300 --> 00:12:19,300
- Excuse me. Some of us are here to learn.
- No one's talkin' to you, Albania.

203
00:12:19,300 --> 00:12:23,100
- Is there a problem back there?
- You bet your funny accent there is!

204
00:12:23,200 --> 00:12:27,300
I'm stuck up here in the nosebleeds.
I'm president of Petoria. I want a better seat.

205
00:12:27,400 --> 00:12:32,300
Oh, of course. How could we not have
recognised the great nation of Petoria?

206
00:12:32,400 --> 00:12:35,300
- Have a seat up front.
- Well, that's more like it.

207
00:12:35,400 --> 00:12:37,900
And hey! Would you also
like a special satellite

208
00:12:38,000 --> 00:12:40,400
to scratch your ass
with a laser beam from space?

209
00:12:40,500 --> 00:12:42,800
They have those?

210
00:12:50,700 --> 00:12:54,200
Hi. How you doin'? You mind if I, uh...

211
00:12:55,100 --> 00:12:57,300
- They don't respect you.
- What do you mean?

212
00:12:57,400 --> 00:13:01,700
I used to be the laughing stock around here
until my country invaded Kuwait.

213
00:13:01,800 --> 00:13:04,200
Now I have a seat in the third row.

214
00:13:04,300 --> 00:13:06,500
The only way to get
any respect around here

215
00:13:06,600 --> 00:13:09,300
is to find something you want and just take it.

216
00:13:09,400 --> 00:13:12,700
Wait. If everybody respects you,
how come you're eatin' by yourself?

217
00:13:12,800 --> 00:13:16,300
- I don't shower.
- Oh, that's what that is.

218
00:13:16,400 --> 00:13:19,100
Take what I want, huh?

219
00:13:20,700 --> 00:13:23,700
- Good morning, Joe.
- Peter, what are you doin' in my pool?

220
00:13:23,700 --> 00:13:27,900
Oh, this is the newest province of Petoria.
I call it "Johio".

221
00:13:28,000 --> 00:13:30,700
What? You can't just come over here
and annexe my pool.

222
00:13:30,800 --> 00:13:34,900
Oh, yeah? Well, according to paragraph
seven, sentence three, word eight

223
00:13:35,000 --> 00:13:37,700
of the Geneva Convention, "the".

224
00:13:37,700 --> 00:13:39,700
So tough luck, Swanson.

225
00:13:41,800 --> 00:13:46,400
- As you can see, Petoria has invaded US soil.
- What are our options?

226
00:13:46,500 --> 00:13:50,800
A military strike against such a small
nation could cause an international backlash.

227
00:13:50,900 --> 00:13:53,900
- But this kind of behaviour can't be tolerated.
- Agreed.

228
00:13:54,000 --> 00:13:57,100
- I suggest we start with political sanctions.
- Good, gentlemen.

229
00:14:01,500 --> 00:14:05,000
Well, I guess the world'll show me
a little more respect now.

230
00:14:05,100 --> 00:14:08,500
Dad, I tried to got to school
but this guy won't let me.

231
00:14:08,600 --> 00:14:11,600
- Oh, yeah? Him and what army?
- The US Army.

232
00:14:13,800 --> 00:14:15,200
Oh, that's a good army.

233
00:14:19,400 --> 00:14:21,800
The scene outside the US-Petorian border

234
00:14:21,900 --> 00:14:25,100
as the sun rises on day one
of Operation Desert Clam. 

235
00:14:26,200 --> 00:14:29,200
Good morning. I'm Diane Simmons.
We now go to Tom Tucker,

236
00:14:29,300 --> 00:14:31,500
live at the site of the US blockade. Tom?

237
00:14:31,800 --> 00:14:35,600
Diane, I'm here at the Petorian front,
where the US has cut off electricity,

238
00:14:35,700 --> 00:14:38,400
water and gas
to the tiny four-bedroom republic.

239
00:14:38,500 --> 00:14:41,600
The situation is very tense
and extremely dangerous.

240
00:14:41,700 --> 00:14:43,900
It's only a matter of time...

241
00:14:43,900 --> 00:14:48,700
Oh, my God, they've opened fire. It looks
like things are getting very heated here.

242
00:14:48,800 --> 00:14:50,800
This is not a safe place to be.

243
00:14:56,100 --> 00:14:57,200
And now sports.

244
00:15:00,900 --> 00:15:04,900
- Lois?
- Over here. I'm chopping carrots for a salad.

245
00:15:04,900 --> 00:15:08,800
- Here. Use this head lamp.
- Hey, where's the kids?

246
00:15:08,900 --> 00:15:12,000
Upstairs, doin' their homework
by candlelight.

247
00:15:12,100 --> 00:15:15,400
Damn pig-dog Americans,
messin' with my family like this.

248
00:15:15,500 --> 00:15:18,900
We can't bathe,
we can't do laundry, there's no heat...

249
00:15:19,000 --> 00:15:21,000
We can't live like this for ever.

250
00:15:21,100 --> 00:15:26,300
It's not for ever.
You know, it's just... it's just... You know.

251
00:15:26,400 --> 00:15:28,700
Peter, I'm up here. Oh, sweetie,

252
00:15:28,700 --> 00:15:31,800
maybe you should go over to Joe's
and return his pool, huh?

253
00:15:31,900 --> 00:15:36,100
No. We're a real country. We deserve all
the rights and privileges everyone else gets.

254
00:15:36,100 --> 00:15:39,700
But we have to think about
the welfare of our children.

255
00:15:39,700 --> 00:15:42,200
- Stewie, is that you?
- Lois, my mind's made up.

256
00:15:42,300 --> 00:15:45,000
I'm not givin' up an inch of Petorian soil.

257
00:15:45,100 --> 00:15:48,100
It's not a sign of weakness to compromise.

258
00:15:48,200 --> 00:15:51,200
I just think you should...
Peter, stop starin' at my chest.

259
00:15:51,300 --> 00:15:53,300
Oh. Yeah, sorry, Lois.

260
00:15:56,600 --> 00:16:00,700
And we're back with our round-table
discussion on the Petorian crisis.

261
00:16:00,700 --> 00:16:02,700
- Uh, you were making a point, John?
- Yes.

262
00:16:02,800 --> 00:16:06,200
What the United States is doing
to Petoria right now is criminal.

263
00:16:06,300 --> 00:16:10,400
Nonsense! Force is the only thing
a despot like Peter Griffin understands.

264
00:16:10,500 --> 00:16:14,100
- Fine. Why not just drop a bomb on him?
- What about that, Eleanor?

265
00:16:14,100 --> 00:16:17,700
Oh, it's ridiculous, clearly.
He's a factory worker, not a despot.

266
00:16:17,700 --> 00:16:22,000
You're missin' the point. Our blockade is
turnin' Petoria into a Third World country.

267
00:16:28,900 --> 00:16:35,200
Can anybody tell me what the square root
of the hypotenuse is... Chris, is that a note?

268
00:16:35,300 --> 00:16:37,300
- No.
- Yes, it is.

269
00:16:37,400 --> 00:16:40,600
Would you like to read it
for the rest of the class?

270
00:16:40,700 --> 00:16:43,000
- No.
- Just read it, lardo.

271
00:16:44,300 --> 00:16:47,700
- "I think Mrs Griffin's hot."
- Go to your room.

272
00:16:49,000 --> 00:16:54,100
Damn you, Rupert! Keep these loathsome
insects away, or you'll end up like Mr Giraffe.

273
00:16:54,100 --> 00:16:56,400
Hi. I'm Susan Sarandon.

274
00:16:56,500 --> 00:17:01,300
A lot of you know me as Tim Robbins'
mother. But I'm actually his girlfriend.

275
00:17:01,400 --> 00:17:03,900
- And this is Stewie.
- What the deuce?

276
00:17:04,000 --> 00:17:06,600
For less that the ticket price
of one of my movies

277
00:17:06,700 --> 00:17:09,200
about capital punishment or neo-feminism,

278
00:17:09,300 --> 00:17:12,100
you can make sure
that Stewie never goes hungry again.

279
00:17:12,200 --> 00:17:15,300
Yes, and from the look
of those sweater cows, so can you.

280
00:17:19,700 --> 00:17:22,000
Morning, subjects. What's for breakfast?

281
00:17:22,100 --> 00:17:24,800
Nothing, you idiot. We don't have any food.

282
00:17:24,900 --> 00:17:27,100
Peter, this has gotten way out of hand.

283
00:17:27,100 --> 00:17:31,000
Look at what we're reduced to. Our own baby
has to use newspapers for diapers.

284
00:17:31,100 --> 00:17:33,000
No, no. No, no, this is fine.

285
00:17:33,100 --> 00:17:36,600
One second. I'm just about
finished with Family Circus. 

286
00:17:38,200 --> 00:17:41,800
There we are. Who did that, Jeffie? Not me.

287
00:17:41,900 --> 00:17:45,900
My God, I haven't seen everyone this
miserable since that time we were tortured.

288
00:17:50,700 --> 00:17:55,100
I'm sorry. Were you just whipping me?
Or did I just get bit by a mosquito?

289
00:17:55,900 --> 00:17:58,400
Hey, Lois, if you happen
to see the dungeon master,

290
00:17:58,500 --> 00:18:01,000
tell him his grandmother
was tryin' to work me over.

291
00:18:01,300 --> 00:18:04,900
It's time to call this whole thing off.
Nobody's on our side.

292
00:18:05,300 --> 00:18:07,500
Are you nuts? Look at all these telegrams.

293
00:18:07,500 --> 00:18:11,800
"Nice goin'. Libya." "You the man! North
Korea." "Great job! Iraq."

294
00:18:11,900 --> 00:18:17,200
Iraq, Lois! You know what? I'm gonna invite
a few of these fellas over for a party.

295
00:18:20,200 --> 00:18:24,600
See, Lois, I told you we had allies.
Hey, Slobodan. You made it.

296
00:18:24,700 --> 00:18:29,100
I didn't know what to bring, so I made
coleslaw. It's made out of people!

297
00:18:29,200 --> 00:18:32,600
- Just kidding. Is Muammar here?
- Yeah, he's over there with Saddam.

298
00:18:32,700 --> 00:18:36,300
And then Jerry guessed
that her name was "Mulva"!

299
00:18:37,800 --> 00:18:41,500
That show is so funny.
It really reminds me of me and my friends,

300
00:18:41,500 --> 00:18:44,600
how we hang out before I kill them
for worshipping the wrong god.

301
00:18:44,700 --> 00:18:47,400
And I love that Kramer guy.
He comes in the room like this:

302
00:18:47,500 --> 00:18:49,700
"Whaaaa..." Well, I can't do it, but you know.

303
00:18:50,700 --> 00:18:52,700
- Marco.
- Polo!

304
00:18:52,700 --> 00:18:54,900
- Marco.
- Polo!

305
00:18:54,900 --> 00:18:56,900
- Fish out of water!
- Aw!

306
00:18:59,700 --> 00:19:02,700
Yeah, those are lookin' good. Yeah. Manuel!

307
00:19:02,800 --> 00:19:05,700
Manuel, do you want...
Can you ask him if he wants cheese?

308
00:19:05,800 --> 00:19:08,500
Hey! Hey! Fidel! No running around the pool!

309
00:19:09,700 --> 00:19:12,700
I say, I say, Achmed.
What is that thing you people do

310
00:19:12,800 --> 00:19:15,000
when you're about to assassinate an infidel?

311
00:19:15,100 --> 00:19:18,100
Ah. You mean this?

312
00:19:18,200 --> 00:19:21,100
Oh, yes, I love that.

313
00:19:21,200 --> 00:19:24,700
Stewie! This is insanity.

314
00:19:25,800 --> 00:19:28,700
- Whoa! Where do you think you're goin'?
- America!

315
00:19:28,700 --> 00:19:33,900
I've had enough. You can keep this filthy
mess you call a country. Come on, kids.

316
00:19:34,000 --> 00:19:37,100
This is treason! For God's sake, Peter!
Make an example of her!

317
00:19:37,200 --> 00:19:40,100
Nothing says "Obey me"
like a bloody head on a fence post.

318
00:19:40,200 --> 00:19:43,800
Let's go! We're crossin' the border!
Goodbye, President Griffin.

319
00:19:44,100 --> 00:19:48,500
- Brian, at least you're Ioyal enough to stay.
- I've stuck by you through worse.

320
00:19:50,700 --> 00:19:53,800
Ah! Ah! Ah!

321
00:19:53,900 --> 00:19:57,200
Ah, I guess it's you and me
against the world, buddy.

322
00:19:57,300 --> 00:20:01,900
Attention, President Griffin. As you may
presently, yourself, fully be aware of, 

323
00:20:02,000 --> 00:20:05,300
my grammar sucks, but more importantly, 
we're about to commence

324
00:20:05,400 --> 00:20:07,600
Operation Bomb the Crap
Out of Your House. 

325
00:20:07,700 --> 00:20:11,100
The guy who thinks up the names
is on vacation. Fire! 

326
00:20:14,000 --> 00:20:16,100
To answer your question, like that.

327
00:20:16,500 --> 00:20:20,900
The guy who aims is in the john.
Ah, here he is. Next one's comin' right at you.

328
00:20:21,000 --> 00:20:25,600
Face it, it's over. Why not sit down with
the mayor and negotiate some kind of treaty?

329
00:20:25,700 --> 00:20:29,600
Negotiate? Peter Griffin doesn't know
the meaning of the word "negotiate".

330
00:20:32,300 --> 00:20:35,900
Can... can I tie you to a stick
and use you as a white flag?

331
00:20:38,200 --> 00:20:41,100
Thank you all for coming.
We invited Jesse Jackson

332
00:20:41,200 --> 00:20:43,300
to open our negotiations with a prayer.

333
00:20:43,300 --> 00:20:44,600
Ooh!

334
00:20:44,900 --> 00:20:49,700
Unfortunately, he couldn't make it,
so in his place we have LaToya Jackson.

335
00:20:49,800 --> 00:20:55,400
Thanks. Um... Rub-a-dub-dub,
thanks for the grub. Yeah, God!

336
00:20:55,500 --> 00:20:57,800
How very inappropriate. Thank you.

337
00:20:57,900 --> 00:20:59,900
Now, Mr Griffin, would you like to begin?

338
00:20:59,900 --> 00:21:04,700
OK. After much thought and consideration,
I have decided to make a concession or two.

339
00:21:04,800 --> 00:21:08,300
- Very good, Peter.
- First, I will return Joe's pool.

340
00:21:08,700 --> 00:21:12,900
- Oh, you got that right!
- But I demand access to it on weekends.

341
00:21:13,000 --> 00:21:14,400
- No.
- Accepted.

342
00:21:14,500 --> 00:21:17,500
I also demand to remain my own,
independent nation.

343
00:21:17,600 --> 00:21:20,000
- Absolutely not.
- How about you give me your pen?

344
00:21:20,100 --> 00:21:23,500
You mean this cheap little pen
we have millions of back at the office?

345
00:21:23,500 --> 00:21:24,600
- Yeah.
- No.

346
00:21:24,700 --> 00:21:27,000
Oh, man. So after all this
I end up with nothin'?

347
00:21:27,100 --> 00:21:30,300
How about this?
Every night when you get home from work,

348
00:21:30,400 --> 00:21:33,700
I'll scratch your back
with a matchbook cover like you like.

349
00:21:33,800 --> 00:21:36,000
- Ah, Lois.
- Aw.

350
00:21:36,100 --> 00:21:38,700
- Will you call me "Big Rudy" when you do?
- No.

351
00:21:38,800 --> 00:21:43,200
And that's the story of Petoria,
a little nation that, 200 years ago,

352
00:21:43,300 --> 00:21:45,700
seceded and repatriated
in less than a week.

353
00:21:45,700 --> 00:21:49,000
- Any questions?
- Yeah, uh, I don't get it.

354
00:21:49,100 --> 00:21:54,300
So, like, can the family understand the baby,
or... or... What's the deal with that?

355
00:22:21,100 --> 00:22:23,700
Visiontext Subtitles: Yasmeen Khan

356
00:22:30,300 --> 00:22:32,300
ENGLISH SDH



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